A Special Summer(78)

Nick shifted, uncomfortable from the pain that was so evident in her voice. He’d been selfish; never thinking of the impact his decision to end their relationship would have on her.

“I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe it was over between us. I called you at home the next day. When you didn’t return my call, I called your office the day after that.”

Summer’s voice dropped an octave lower as she lowered her head and began to fidget with her hands in her lap. No longer could she hold his gaze. It was too painful to look at him as she relived that difficult time in her life.

“Your secretary told me you weren’t taking any calls. I knew that meant my calls.”

Nick remembered. He disregarded the messages telling himself he didn’t have time for Summer’s hysterics. He figured she would get over it, get over him, all the others had.

“I realized then that you really didn’t want to be bothered with me…that I hadn’t meant anything to you.” Summer let out a painful sigh. “So I tried to forget about you, to get on with my life. But two weeks after you left the states I found out I was pregnant.”

Summer looked up at Nick through red, swollen eyes. “I told you that, remember?”

Nick nodded.

“I also told you about my plans to get an abortion.”

Again he nodded.

“Nick, I really wanted to tell you I was pregnant.” Her voice pleaded with him to believe her.

Nick had been quiet letting her emote up until that point. He wouldn’t be silent either; he finally wanted answers to his questions.

“Why didn’t you, Summer?”

“Because I thought if I told you about the baby you would have thought I was trying to trap you into being with me…marrying me. And, I knew you didn’t want a child…or me. I thought that you would have probably forced me to go through with having an abortion whether I wanted to or not.”

Lord, help him. Nick cringed at the words she spoke. He knew within his heart all those months ago that that’s exactly what he would have insisted on her doing.

“I guess I was a little selfish. I still loved you, so in my mind and in my heart carrying your baby was a way of holding on to a part of you.”

Nick gently lifted her chin with his forefinger to meet his gaze. “Do you still love me?”

Summer nodded. “Yes, I still love you, Nick,” she whispered as she wiped away tears.

“Go on, I’m still listening,” he prodded gently.

“As the weeks and months passed I accepted the fact that I would never see you again. Then one day I read in the paper you were coming back to Philly to take on another business venture. I knew I had to avoid seeing you or letting you know about the baby.”

“Why?” He could feel the heat creeping up his neck.

“Because I knew what you did to people when you felt that they had used or crossed you. Like how you did Veronica,” Summer softly whispered.

A flash of disgust waved over his features at the mention of her name.

“What did you think I’d do?”

“Exactly what you did, threaten to sue for full custody.”

“Summer, what did you expect me to do? I felt like I had been kicked in the gut?” Nick let out a frustrated sigh as he felt his composure slipping. “I came to see you that night with the intention of telling you that I had made a mistake… that I wanted you back.” He dragged his hand down his face. His voice was eerily quiet. “You threw me for a damn curve Summer. You were seven months pregnant. You knew at the time that I didn’t want children. Yet you still allowed yourself to get pregnant.”

Summer winced at his admission of not only wanting children, but the fact that he had blamed her for getting pregnant infuriated her. He was acting as if she had gotten pregnant without his help!

An indignant anger dried up her well of tears, as she wailed, “Nick, you are being so unfair!”

“How am I being unfair Summer? You should have told me! I had a right to know!”

Jumping up from her position on the bed, Summer paced the floor from the shot of adrenaline her anger set off. This can’t be happening. He can’t be serious.

“Why are you blaming me for everything?” Summer shouted, her face contorted in emotional anguish. “You told me to trust you that night in the cabin. I trusted you. I gave into what you wanted, regardless of the consequences because I loved you! I loved you so much I was willing to raise our son all alone so you wouldn’t have to be bothered with a baby I knew you didn’t want!”

She couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. She was determined to let free every pent up emotion she’d held bondage for months in her broken heart.