A Special Summer(77)

time she would be well within her rights of telling him to get lost and come see NJ on court appointed visits. Just the thought of it made him draw NJ closer to his heart.

After Nick left the room, angry tears fell one after the other. Summer wiped at them as she set the table. A million things ran through her head so fast she felt a headache coming on. For the life of her, she didn’t understand what he was so irate about. All she had done was take her baby out to have lunch with some friends. Did he expect her to stay in the house all day, every day? Knowing Nick, he probably thought she was out doing only God knows what. Was he going to use this as an excuse to finally file for custody? More tears spilled at the thought. He wouldn’t be that cruel? Would he?

♥♥♥

Dinner was unusually quiet. Summer wouldn’t even look at Nick. She focused all of her attention on NJ as she nursed him. After she fed and burped the baby, she settled him in the infant swing next to the table. Having been recently changed by his daddy and fed by his mommy, NJ was just as content as he sat gurgling and gumming his fist.

Pushing the food around on her plate with her fork, Summer had lost her appetite because she was rattled by Nick’s funky attitude.

Nick sensed her troubled state. He knew he was the reason for it. “Summer, I’m sorry about earlier.”

Summer heard the sincerity, but could she believe it? He was sorry this time. Would he be sorry the next time he blew up at her for no reason at all?

“Okay,” was all she said as she stood taking her plate into the kitchen.

Nick watched her walk away. Again he managed to hurt and upset the only woman other than his mother who had ever truly loved him unconditionally.

♥♥♥

“Come in.” Summer called out just above a whisper to the soft knocking on her bedroom door.

“Do you mind if I sit?”

Summer gestured with the nod of her head it was okay for him to sit. When he sat she unconsciously reached behind grapping a throw pillow bringing it to her chest, tightly hugging it.

“I’m really sorry for how I talked to you. I had a hell of a day and took it out on you. I was wrong.”

“Okay.” Dragging a large hand down his face, Nick let out a deep sigh. This was going to be harder than he thought. He felt there was more to it than her being upset about his blowing up at her.

“Summer, baby, what’s wrong? Each time I apologized all you have to say is ‘okay’.”It’s now or never, she thought to herself. She had to tell him what she feared most. She couldn’t take walking on eggshells every time he was pissed about something.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what, baby? “

That you’re going to take ….” The words so painful they were lodged deep in her throat refusing to leave.

Nick was profoundly confused. What is she talking about? “Take what Summer?”

Summer choked the words out. “Take NJ from me.”

Nick was still confused.“Why would I do that?”

“You said if the paternity test proved you were NJ’s father you would file for custody and I’ll never see him again.”

Nick clenched his jaw, hissing a string of expletives. “Summer, I was pissed because you didn’t tell me you were pregnant.” His tone had suddenly become cool.

“I tried to tell you, but every time…” Her voice trailed off again in a soft whisper.

“Every time what?”

Taking a deep breath she continued. “Every time I tried to tell you why I hadn’t, you wouldn’t let me explain my side of things. Explain what I was feeling, what I was going through.”

Nick dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He counted to ten as he wondered why she was bringing this all up. For the most part he had put the fact Summer deceived him out of his mind. He would hear her out. Hear her finally explain her side. But after tonight he told himself this issue was dead. They were burying it forever.

Slowly, Nick lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. His intense stare softened as he took in how fragile she appeared. His voice was low and soft when he spoke. “I’m listening, explain yourself.”

Summer’s voice quivered as she spoke softly expressing what she had wanted to tell him months ago. It wouldn’t be too long before the river flowed.

“When you told me you didn’t want to see me anymore I was devastated. I kept trying to figure out what I had done wrong to make you want to leave me. I thought that…” Summer paused, trying to maintain her composure, “I made you happy. But I was wrong.” She wiped at the tears that started to fall with the palm of her right hand. “I was so hurt. It hadn’t been that long since we vacationed at your cabin. I believed that we had something special. But I was wrong.”