A Christmas to Remember(25)

Carrie looked at the tree she’d found. It was perfect in every way, but with nothing on it, it looked empty and lonesome. As the children ran through the lot, their laughter rising into the air, Adam walking away from her again, she felt very plain and alone, like that tree. There she was, having personal thoughts about her employer, trying to meddle in his life, making him suppers. Was she living in some fantasy world? Of course she was. She needed to grow up, get a real life, and move on. Adam Fletcher was not the kind of person she needed to be thinking about. She needed to take a good look at the college brochures she had and sort something out for after Christmas. As much as she wanted to be with children and remain a nanny, Carrie needed to move forward with her life. She knew that now more than ever.

The cold had made its way through her layers, and she was certain that the kids were probably cold too. As soon as Adam was off the phone, she was going to tell him to just buy the tree in front of her. It was a fine tree, and clearly, he needed to get back to work.

Adam let out a long sigh. “I’m going to be working late anyway to make up for the time I’ve lost today,” he said quietly into the phone. “Let’s just make it a night, shall we? You pick the place.” Still talking on the phone, he pulled out his wallet and handed Carrie his credit card, distracted by his discussion and barely making eye contact.

With that one gesture, she felt in the way, and she wished that she hadn’t bothered to ask him to help them get a tree. She imagined that this was how David and Olivia must feel. Again, he’d dismissed her actions as if they meant nothing, and that was probably true. Last time, she’d been frustrated, irritated by his behavior, but this time, her feelings were hurt. This time, he’d completely upset her. She could feel the heat still on her skin despite the cold, and she was glad for her scarf because it would hide the red spots that were now burning her neck. She’d only been trying to get him involved with his family, feel the Christmas spirit a little, but it was apparent that she had been wrong. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t going to fix his family. She wasn’t going to get him to know what presents to get his kids. Swallowing the lump in her throat that was forming from the way he was making her feel at that moment, she took the card from his hand and went to gather the children.





Chapter Eight





Label your bad habits and eliminate them. Carrie underlined the sentence and marked the page with a bookmark. In her journal, she listed her first bad habit: meddling in people’s business, her employer’s family business, to be precise. After the Christmas tree fiasco, there was no way she was ever going to put herself in that position again. She’d care for the children and show them love, but she wasn’t going to intervene anymore. Adam had made it quite clear by his actions where his family fell on his list of priorities: they were at the very bottom.

Not to mention the way it had made her feel when he’d just dismissed her, handing out his credit card with barely a glance in her direction. She couldn’t help thinking that he was missing the point of life. He had a lot of money and very nice things, but he didn’t enjoy any of them. He came in after dark, ate, and went to bed alone. He never sat in his living room and enjoyed a good book or had a nice talk over a long dinner. He didn’t sit back and watch his children play, knowing that every second was gone the moment it happened, and he’d never get it back. He couldn’t enjoy himself. Had he ever? The four days he’d taken off for Christmas should be interesting, she thought.

Carrie tried to see it from his side, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she was just spinning her wheels; she hadn’t gotten anywhere with him. He’d seen the trip as just another tick on his list—Get Christmas tree: done. It had not been about spending time with his children at all. And the worst part was that their outing had given the kids yet one more time when their daddy hadn’t made a difference in their lives. He was as absent standing there as he would’ve been at work. Carrie could have just as easily bought the tree herself. She had a sinking feeling, given the way the children acted around him, that it was always this way.

The trouble was that she genuinely liked Adam. He was friendly, usually, and seemed like a nice guy in general. She was rational enough not to expect anything more, but her instincts told her she knew he was capable of more, and that’s what upset her. Did his children ever get to see the look of affection in his eyes when he smiled, the feeling that they were the only ones in the room? Did they know that he was kind?