A Christmas to Remember(29)

“I’m so sorry—I thought he would have,” she said, smiling back but feeling a twinge of insignificance creeping in. “I’m Carrie Blake.” As she thought about it, it didn’t surprise her that Adam had neglected to tell his family that he’d had a change in staff. How did he possibly have any time to make a phone call to his family when he barely had time to eat? She had noticed, when she’d let Rose in to clean this morning, that he’d rinsed out and set in the sink the dishes from dinner that she’d prepared, and she was glad that she’d made it for him, even though she was still annoyed with his behavior. This morning, he’d gone before the kids had gotten her up, and she hadn’t heard a peep from him all day.

Joyce picked Olivia up and gave her a squeeze. Olivia’s shoes hung by the strap at her toes, the princess heels dangling from each foot. The little girl wrapped her arms around Joyce’s neck. It was nice to see Olivia be so open and affectionate with her grandmother. Carrie was glad that the children had someone in their lives who showed them they were worth their time. She didn’t like the way Adam spent his days as if they weren’t there. He had passed off responsibility for them by getting a nanny, and if he spent any time with them at all, it was by accident when he ran into them on his way to do something else. As Joyce held Olivia, rubbing noses with her, smiling, talking to her, Carrie knew that this woman must have been the same loving woman when she’d raised Adam. What had turned him into the person he was now? Was she missing something?

“Do you live here?” Joyce asked, glancing down at Carrie’s sock feet. Her face was more curious than bothered, but it made Carrie feel self-conscious. She worried again about what she was presenting in terms of appearances. Had they met Natalie, and did they expect Carrie to be like her? This was how she always dressed when watching children, but as she thought of Natalie, she realized that not everyone followed the same dress code. Carrie didn’t have a dress code at all. Certainly, if she were taking the kids out somewhere, she’d spruce herself up a bit, put on something presentable, and dress the kids accordingly, but on a regular day, she and the children needed clothing that was suitable for exploration, for learning, clothing they could get wrinkled, get paint on, get wet. There were so many opportunities for the children every day to learn and have fun. If they were dressed in their best clothes, they’d miss out on things like bathtub boat races or baking homemade pies.

They were all still huddled in the entryway, so Carrie led them down the hallway where they could hang up their coats. “Yes, I live here,” she said.

Joyce’s eyes widened, a look of surprise on her face. The look was a happy-surprised look, like someone has when they’ve just opened the perfect present. She scanned Carrie from her head to her toes. “Well, this is exciting news, Bruce!” Joyce turned to the man who looked like Adam, every inch of her face showing delight. Carrie had hoped for Adam’s family to be agreeable, but this was more than she’d anticipated. “It’s good to see Adam moving forward.” While Carrie was still trying to process her words, Joyce had put Olivia down and had wrapped her arms around David’s shoulders. “Isn’t it, Bruce?”

Carrie was so confused that she couldn’t even hide it. She felt her face crumple with misunderstanding. Then, the light bulb went off. “Oh! I’m the nanny,” she said quickly, realizing that Joyce must have thought she was Adam’s new girlfriend! “I just started. It’s my third day.”

“Oh dear!” Joyce laughed. “Sorry.” She shook her head as if she couldn’t believe her blunder. “It’s just…” She shook her head again. When she looked back at Carrie, there were thoughts on her face, and it looked like her hopes had been dashed just a bit. She certainly had been excited at the idea of Adam dating. Perhaps she, too, was hoping that Adam would spend less time on work and more time on his personal life. What had Joyce wanted to say? Whatever it was, it was clear she wasn’t going to finish the thought.

Carrie asked for their coats in an attempt to change the subject. She hung them up in the closet, and they all walked together into the living room. Walter grabbed onto Bruce’s arm for support, leaving his walker in the hallway. He’d pushed it up against the wall—it looked so small in that giant hallway. When they sat down, the conversation quieted for a moment, making Carrie feel a little awkward. She turned toward the tree she’d decorated with the children.

The Christmas tree sent light across the polished hardwoods all the way up to the carpet-style shaggy rug that sat under the furniture. It gave the room a coziness and complemented the oversized mantle around the fireplace. Carrie had draped greenery along it—long, wide garlands of spruce with velvet cranberry-colored bows to match the tree skirt—she had other plans for decorating the mantle as well, she just hadn’t shared with the children what they were yet. They all sat on the down-filled sofas that flanked the room. David asked if he could go play in the playroom but Olivia stayed back.