Loving Jack(29)

She took a deep breath before plunging in. "I'm taking the job in Seattle."

Luke blinked a few times but said nothing. Her fingers tightened around his but his expression remained blank.

"It's more than just a job. It's a partnership in a booming company."  She paused, waiting for a reaction. Nothing. "I'm miserable at Stein and  Watson. I knew before I left for Seattle that I had to make a change  one way or the other. The thought of accepting the junior executive  position makes me want to curl up and cry."

"I don't know what to say." Luke looked away. "Of course I want you to  be happy." His eyes returned to her looking bleak. "Do you think it's  smart to uproot your life so suddenly? I agree that you need a career  change. You need to find time for a life. You need more than just work,  but until now you've refused to think of anything else. You're just so  driven."

He gripped her hand with both of his and stroked her knuckles with his  thumb. "Sweetheart, why don't you try to find another firm or a  different position all together? Hell! You could work for me! I can't  pay you the kind of wages you're used to making, but I can bring you in  making enough to be comfortable while you decide what you want to do  next. Maybe a year of working a good old nine-to-five job would do you  some good. What do you think? I'll be the best boss you've ever had. You  can make your own hours. In fact, I have a position that would allow  you to work from home most of the week. What do you think?" He smiled  broadly, finding a solution to her problems easily.

The hopeful expression on his face made her heart throb. She was going  to miss him so much. Too much. This was going to be even harder than  she'd anticipated. She'd never imagined Luke would offer her a job to  keep her here. He was problem solving. That's what Luke did. Now that  she was open to making a change, he was going to look for a way to make  that happen while keeping her in New York.

Grace ran a hand through her gold-red hair and sighed. Luke stiffened and released her hand.

"What the fuck is that, Grace?" Luke's warm brown eyes blazed back at  her with anger. At first she wasn't sure what he was referring to, until  he looked down at the hand now resting on the table top.

Grace cleared her throat uncomfortably. "That's the other thing I needed to tell you."

Luke gripped his side of the table with both hands until his knuckles  turned white. His jaw was a rigid line of displeasure. There was hurt  and anger in that look.

"Jack and I spent a lot of time together and . . ." she tried to explain but Luke cut her off.

"You're going to marry the two-timing, no he was actually more like a  four-timing, son of a bitch!" Luke's voice was raised in anger. He had  never, not once in over seven years, raised his voice to her. People at  near-by tables turned to look at them. Grace flushed red.

"I'm still considering it, Luke," she told him in a hushed tone that  expressed her displeasure at his outburst. "I haven't said yes, yet,"  she continued.         

     



 

"That's bullshit and you know it!" he yelled again. Luke was quickly losing his temper. Grace was shocked.

"It's not bullshit. And I don't like the way you're talking to me," she snapped back.

"Hell if I care how you feel anymore, Grace Yates. Or should I call you  Grace Landry? You aren't wearing that monstrosity for the hell of it."  He nodded toward her hand that was now clinched in confusion and  irritation in her lap.

"He asked me . . . but it was too soon. We've only been together for a  couple of weeks. He knew it would be too soon for me. I'm still thinking  about it. But he asked me to wear the ring until I make up my mind,"  she explained.

"He knew it was too soon, but he asked you anyway? It's only been a few  weeks but you're wearing his ring? Do you hear yourself?" He shook his  head. "He may as well have pissed on you to mark his territory. That's  why he wanted you to wear the ring."

Luke stood and dug his wallet out of his jacket pocket. "You're lying to  yourself if you think you haven't already made up your mind to marry  him. Be honest. Would you be moving across the country to work with him  every day if you didn't know you'd be together? Would you be able to  handle standing by while he dated and went about his life? You couldn't  handle it in college. I didn't blame you. I can't image you'd enjoy it  now." He sneered at her. He actually curled his lip like something  smelled badly.

Luke fished a few twenties out of his wallet and dropped them on the  table for the waitress. He turned on his heels and walked away. Was he  just going to leave? Why was he so angry? Grace was stunned by his  attitude. She stood and watched him go. Everyone was looking at them.  She knew Luke didn't like Jack. He'd been the one to watch her make a  fool of herself in school. He'd been the one to dry her tears. It stood  to reason that he would be against the idea of marriage at first. Luke  would want her to be happy. They were best friends. He would get past  his dislike of Jake once he saw how content she was, right? She didn't  understand this rage.

Luke reached the door and stopped with his back to her. Slowly, he  turned around and returned to the table. He came to stand next to her  and the hurt in his eyes nearly broke Grace. He was truly hurting. Why?

"I've loved you for seven years, Grace Yates," he told her.

"I love you, too," she said and tried to touch his arm but he backed up a step.

"No, Grace. I've been in love with you. I waited for you to get over  Jack. I didn't want to be your rebound mistake. Then when I thought you  were past Jack I waited for you to see how good we are together, how  much I want to make you happy. I waited for you to see that I'm the man  who's always there when you need me. I've always had your back. I came  to this godforsaken city for you. I refused to enter any serious  relationships, because all I wanted was you." The confession fell  between them like a stone. She stared at him slack jawed.

"I . . . you never told me. I didn't know," she said lamely.

"I never told you because I feared losing our friendship. I knew if I  told you and you didn't feel the same way things would never be the same  between us. I'd rather be just your friend than lose the closeness we  share. But this is too much. That man crushed you. In doing so, he  crushed me. Seven years go by and I thought you were over him. I thought  I had a chance, if only a small one and that was enough for me. I held  on. I was so blind. He calls and you run to his side. He crooks his  finger and you change your entire life. After just days you're wearing  his ring. I've been waiting for you to return my love . . ." a tear  suddenly tracked down Luke's cheek, "for seven long fucking years. I  can't do it anymore."

Grace wanted to take him into her arms but she knew he wouldn't allow it now. "I do love you, Luke," she sputtered.

He glared at her left hand with glassy eyes. "No, you don't. Not the way  I need you to." He looked her in the eye again. "I'm done. I can't do  this with you again. I can't wait any longer." He took a backwards step  toward the door. Defeat and resignation were stamped on his handsome  face. Grace didn't know what to say or how to make this better. She  never wanted to lose Luke. Never. "I'll always love you. Please, don't  ever forget that, Grace." He stepped back another step and looked her  over, as if committing her every feature to memory. "Be happy, Grace.  That's really all I've ever wanted for you." With that he turned and  left the restaurant at a fast clip.         

     



 

Grace stood in silence for a moment trying to absorb what had just  happened. Luke had walked out of her life. Jack had been right. Grace  just couldn't wrap her head around it. Luke was in love with her . . .  for all this time. And he'd remained silent rather than lose her  friendship. But their friendship was over? It wouldn't be. She did love  him. Too much to just let him walk away. She grabbed her jacket and  purse and went after him. They needed to talk about this. But when she  reached the sidewalk he was nowhere to be seen.

She walked to the subway to hop the train that would take her to Luke's  place. But when the train came she didn't get on. She stood there on the  platform crying while New York moved around her. She'd truly hurt Luke.  How could she not have known? The longer she thought about it the more  clear things became. Luke had done everything short of coming out and  telling her that he loved her. He'd told her in his own way with his  actions instead of empty words. And she had seen it. It had just been  easier to ignore it. She was afraid to get close. And she hated being  alone. Being with Luke was safe, so she'd allowed him to be everything  to her. Luke was everything except a lover. She'd done to Luke what Jack  had done to her, only worse. Sure, she'd been longing for Jack while he  moved on with his life. But she hadn't had to watch it. Luke had. He'd  been there to witness everything. The boyfriends. The break-ups.  Everything. And he'd still been her best friend through it all. Now he  was gone. He was gone and she still couldn't say she didn't want Jack.  So she would let him go. Even if it did feel like she had a broken  heart.