From Shy Guy To Ladies Man(13)
Practically when I speak to her, I am entering her world relating to where she may be at.
Examples of the first things I have remembered saying recently to women I was attracted to which turned into delicious romantic experiences , simply because I noticed it and felt curious enough:
- You look like you are having an amazing daydream? – We got talking about dreams. Turned out we had insane sexual chemistry.
- You dont look very dry, here, step under my umbrella. – She told me about how she dislikes her job because of how fake she must be. we talked about my job as we walked in the rain. She was super interested. She asked me to hers for ‘tea’.
- You look so happy,I think you should share – She told me how yoga makes her so happy. I told her how yoga pants make me so happy. We chatted about meditation and tantra. We explored physically.
This stuff is SO basic, and simple, and leads to everything, all the time, as there is an underlying sensitivity to her in every moment and what she may desire from me. This is only present because I am present with me FIRST.
Men will continue to see a girl sitting on a bench reading and blaze in with his completely abstract pick-up pre-designed opener. Zero calibration to the fact there is a living and breathing human being in front of him.
This article is not about the practical aspect of relating to other people. It is about what inspires you to even think about starting to relate. That is, internal happiness. This is not about making yourself be observant to get girls. This IS about feeling so good about yourself, that you are interested in how others feel about themselves, and how you can give the gift of your own love to others, unconditionally .
Or, you could just continue to hide and be miserable. That is up to you. What I speak about is attainable to EVERY man. This is not difficult, but it is REAL!
So be prepared to come real!
How To Seduce With Your Patience: A Seduction.
Last night I had the joy of sharing freedom with a beautiful, but highly conditioned woman.
This little story is to be taken as an educational and holistic lesson. With the purpose focused on clearing the fog from your own eyes, encouraging you to step into your power as a man, which you gift to the world around you.
The Meeting
Our eyes locked from across the room. We played for a bit, enjoying the vibe that was cultivating and bouncing between us.
She was currently pre-occupied by another man, who I could tell was attempting to get her to leave the gallery with him. I could see and feel him operating from an impatient need. He was doing everything he possibly could, to force this.
I could tell in her body language that she was too resistant to his attempts to ever leave. Especially now, that we were already discreetly engaged with one another.
Eventually, I saw him get very frustrated and leave her. I walked across the room to where she stood. We started to talk.
I’m not sure what on earth I said to her, but most likely something very complicated like “hey…” or something along those lines.
She was utterly gorgeous in her energy and eyes. It was incredibly enjoyable to intertwine. I flirted, she flirted. I gave her some shit, and she returned that shit perfectly.
“Awesome” I thought. “A girl who can keep up and gets this.”
I invited her to join my group as my friends were leaving, so we could have more fun.
In between venues we lightly touched hands secretly, gifting one another a quick seductive glance. She would giggle bashfully and blush, which resulted in my lighting up inside. I wanted her right now.
He Returns
After entering the bar, we shared a drink and I spoke with another friend for a bit. I arrived back to her, and guess who happened to be in her ear…the guy from earlier on at the gallery.
He closed the gap between them and he forcefully introduced himself. I smiled at how ridiculous he was behaving and said hello. I have zero issues with this happening, as it is never a negative thing. She cannot be stolen away from me, as she was never mine to begin with. No woman is! With this belief, my vibe and energy always remains very much “whatever”, and accepting of anything that arises.
I leaned in and said to her “I’m going to leave you with him and go over to my friends. His energy is weird. If you want me, come find me”. I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, and walked back to my group. As I was doing this, I could literally feel the guys insecurities turn into mountainous cogs twisting in his brain, attempting to figure out how he should respond.
She came over to me 5 minutes later, saying hello by tugging the back of my shirt.
“Your alone?” I said.
“Yeah he went to the toilet so I made my mistake”.
“You should just be honest with him”, I said to her.
I said something ridiculous and she laughed. I pulled her into me and we started to hug, solidly and blissfully for what seemed like 2 minutes. I felt a finger tapping my shoulder, and it was the ‘dude’, looking even more terrified mixed with angry.
“We’re busy”, I explained.
He walked around her side and broke the cuddle huddle. “You want a hug man?” I asked? He ignored me and said, “Come on, let’s go, I want to get food”.
She responded telling him she was going to stay here. What ensued was about 5 minutes of him complaining about the situation, me, and how she was being an ungrateful bitch.
He left. Super angry. I felt for the guy, as I remember being there. It is a horrible feeling when you are attached to something so desperately, and you feel it will give some type of release from the pain you feel, if you attain it. Then for it to be swept away from you by someone that is far less attractive than you physically, who doesn’t seem to be trying or needing anything.
I hope he wakes up. My intention is never to hurt others or to take anything from them. But I made a promise to myself long ago, after all the pain I put myself through, never to NOT follow my path, based on the fear of someone else who refuses to be his or her best.
A quote that resonates with my very poor expression abilities, and says it much better is:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Things Escalate
My friends started to leave, and we were having far too much fun getting to know one another, so I suggested we go for a walk. As always I was sexually playful as we walked side by side. We role-played like a married couple as I slapped her bum for letting the dog out of his kennel. I flirted and experienced her reality in the form of how she reacted and responded to my own truth I embody and express.
I pushed her up against the wall on a side street, and moved in to kiss her. She turned her head, and refused in this super awkward and paralysed way.
I saw this for what it was; her confusion about whether she should be behaving inline with her instincts, or her social conditioning. I smiled, and joked, telling her how my mom always encouraged me to kiss strangers. "Not going to happen”, she said very coldly. If this reaction happened before, I would of aborted out of fear and shame, assumed I was bad at ‘game’, and went home to watch more ‘kiss-close’ videos and read more books.
Instead…I put out my hand!
Why?
Because I wanted to hold her hand, feel her a bit deeper, and make her feel my sincerity. She put hers into mine. We walked and held hands for a bit, continuing to joke. I went directly back to the fun and flirty vibe. I was not affected with what had just happened. This is where most interactions go tits-up, and the vibe becomes heavy and awkward. This is the result of the man not relating to her correctly, and projecting his own insecurities onto her.
I started to ask deeper out of curiosity. She was talking about something she adored and she lit up with bliss, combined with a big beautiful smile from ear to ear. I lit up!
She was holding my hand in a much more relaxed way now, with more force also.
Once again, I stopped, and went to kiss her. She turned her head and said, "not happening". What I really heard was "I like you but I’m super nervous about this. I need to feel a little more comfortable with you".
We continued walking and holding hands. She started to now get close and press her whole arm and shoulder into mine as we moved and spoke. Everything started to slow down. He body and her energy began to get softer, melting into me more.
Why? She was beginning to trust me. I was not reacting negatively or projecting any awkwardness on her for doing what she felt initially, and now. She felt the solidarity. It is a safe space for her to let go.
I was talking about how the moon looks like a giant marshmallow when she began to cuddle into me. I was allowing her the space to find her own comfort in me. I was gifting her my honest and real sexual energy, combined with a centered patience. In a sense, I always feel as though I am coaching women through this. I am coaching her how to be with me, by letting her know how I want her to be femininely real also.