From Shy Guy To Ladies Man(11)
Understand…your penis knows much MUCH more about how to interact with women than you do. Society has spent its years disconnecting you from your cock. Your masculine essence. Your instinct, and your beauty.
It is all t0 come.
How To Own Who You Are:
I see Ian interacting with women all the time and he is exactly the same as he was when he had all his ‘material’ shit in line. It has made no difference. Women ask him what he does, he looks them calmly in the eye and says, “I’m unemployed right now”…and humorously waits for their inevitable awkward/testing reaction of the brainwashed.
What makes an individual attractive to the opposite sex?
There are a few main things, such as self-comfort, authenticity, personal hygiene and a giving mindset. These principles are all stemming from the same place within us.
I know an array of men who are in completely different life situations and stages of growth, but they all have the attention of women surrounding them on a consistent basis.
Some of these men are shy, introverted, and have lots of life ‘issues’, strictly on the basis of social standards though.
An example is my friend Ian, who is currently unemployed and had to move back in with his mother after the company he was working for closed down. Ian is 36, with a child, an ex wife, and is now spending his time trying to start up his own guitar design business.
To pretty much everyone, his current social standing does not hold much value, and is a situation many men would hate to be in, because…well, how are you supposed to get a girl to like you if your life has fallen a part?
An analogy to help understand attraction:
Many men fear the impending doom of going bald. They fear women will no longer find them attractive and they will lose their youth/good looks and power. Women do NOT find bald men unattractive. This is proven a hundred times over with the bald men who women ogle over in the media.
So, to be clear…it’s NOT the fact a man is bald which makes him unattractive to women. It is how the man FEELS about going bald which is unattractive to women.
Men who OWN it, and place no value on it, and realize that they are the EXACT same person, with the EXACT same level of power, stay just as ‘attractive’ to women. Many even get sexier as it can force a man to realign even stronger with himself.
Lets get back to Ian.
Yes, he is aware that he is in a difficult time of his life where he must step-up for himself and his family, but he is solid and decisive not in where he is going, but in WHO he is. Where you are going can be dictated and change at the drop of a hat. Having a solid bond and knowing who you are…will never change. He can always rely on him to be him.
Ian knows himself and he makes NO fucking apology to anybody for his current situation.
I always refer to being unapologetic about who you are as a man. Remember we are all human, and we all go through the ebb and flow of life. There is, naturally ups and down, which will never be avoided. The man who is ok with his current situation, and realizes it has no definition of how good, bad, or successful he is, will remain an attractive man, not emotionally dictated by his surrounding situation.
WHEREVER you are in your life, OWN THAT SHIT!
If you cannot accept, love and face your shit as a man, women will not feel secure around you. Do not rate yourself based on the societal opinion of value and status. Your external situation makes you no less or more of a man.
What DOES matter is your relationship to it, and yourself.
I see Ian interacting with women all the time and he is exactly the same as he was when he had all his ‘material’ shit in line. It has made no difference. Women ask him what he does, he looks them calmly in the eye and says, “I’m unemployed right now”…and humorously waits for their inevitable awkward/testing reaction of the brainwashed.
I thoroughly enjoy watching the expressions on girl’s faces when he says this, or the fact he is living with his mom.
“But…you’re so old, why the fuck don’t you have a job/you live with you mom, come on dude”
A typical response I have heard him give is along the lines of, “yeah, I’m in a transition in my life right now, as I am not willing to live a mediocre life, so I’m putting in the work now to better my situation. Plus, my mom makes me awesome food and still tucks me in at night Family is very important to me. What’s important to you?”
You see? Do you see how solid he is in his choices and current situation? He has his own standards, and that’s all he fucking cares about, nobody else’s. Can you see the decisive clarity in how he is PROUD of who he is regardless of his external situation right now?
Regardless of his situation, Ian understands women, only because and more importantly, he understands himself, OWNS HIS SHIT AND MAKES NO FUCKING APOLOGY TO ANYONE.
Women are so incredibly attracted to him, not because of how he looks, or what he has, but because of his internal alignment and strength. Women feel at ease around him very quickly.
It is not only women, but also people in general call him a super cool guy, as he doesn’t interact with people in a ‘you are what you have’ type of way. He values EVERYONE for the very fact they are a person. The rest makes no sense.
You will often see this way of becoming in people who once had it all in terms of materialistic value, then lost it all and had to do some soul searching to suss out what actually matters.
Wherever you are in your life right now, well done. You are alive. If you are unemployed, homeless, living with your parents, skinny, bald, fat. It is all irrelevant.
What’s important is how your external situation has affected the importance you place on yourself and how good you feel about yourself.
If your situation makes you feel worthless…women will assume just that. No man should be having a pity party for himself.
How about if you think you are shit with girls? Great, that’s fine. I have been in that mindset, but I started to own it.
I remember a girl I stopped in the street to talk to, at the beginning of my journey asked me “what makes you think you can just stop me and hit on me like this, its wrong.”
My response: “Right now, I am focused on learning about women, and that involves talking to pretty girls like you. I suck with girls and this has made me lonely. It can be difficult to find a girlfriend for guys. I bet you didn’t even know that did you? If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s cool, but I would rather speak to you here, during the day instead of an alcohol fueled nightclub. Or would you prefer the other?”
I ended up having a sexual relationship with this girl for about 5 months where she taught me SO much about sex. Why? Because by OWNING my current life situation, and making no fucking apology, whilst speaking my truth, made her feel safe and secure with me. Which in turn made her incredibly attracted to who I was.
Your freedom will set others free!
At this time, I also had no job, receiving POCKET MONEY from my parents. I was in between life choices. I was 21. She was 29, and a lawyer.
What’s your excuse?
Wherever you are, own it. Nothing external defines you!
I must make it clear that I am not giving you permission to be a lazy-ass motherfucker. This is to be balanced with actively showing up in your life and making what you want and desire happen, all the while, understanding that the RESULT of your actions does not define you. Whether you show up or not…THAT defines you!
This ties directly into owning your desire with women. Make no apology for the fact you find women attractive and you want to experience awesome sex with lots of different women.
Learn about yourself and expand your experiences. Maybe you are interested in a girlfriend, or a sex buddy, or a long-term partner, or 3 girl friends, own that! Who cares what anyone else thinks, assumes or judges in you. Its irrelevant to who you really are.
Do not disrespect and reject yourself by feeling guilty or less than for going after and living your truth. The men who try to sneak their way to their dreams and desires, are the disgustingly weak creeps, who makes women’s skin crawl.
This is why women ‘test’ men. Not because his external factors upset her so much, but instead she is choosing to poke you, to reveal how YOU feel about your life situation. If you feel bad about it, she will wonder why you are not actively trying to change it. At this moment the man has confirmed her suspicions and she has come to the conclusion that he is not safe to be with or even entertain sexually.
Feeling bad is pointless once you are being practical and active towards moving forward and experiencing greatness in your own life…on YOUR terms.
Stop trying to prove your worth to others. You are just as worthy as everyone. You are just as worthy as the celebrity fashion model, and you are just as worthy as the homeless man who is addicted to meth living on the corner of your block.
We all come into this world with nothing but ourselves, and we leave the same.
Be aware of where you are, accept it, and follow your bliss. Do what makes YOU happy. If that means masturbating 500 times a day to Asian porn, then do that. I don’t fucking care. Who am I to judge you? Sure, it’s not something I want for my life, but I cannot comment or advise anyone on their calling, because I simply do not know. Just like everyone else. They do not know, although many will assume the standards you should be adhering to is what society has dictated as good and bad. These people are trapped and imprisoned. They do not know yet, or may never know, that they are in jail.