yRing for the Nurse(31)

           



       

"I've told you that I was in love with Alaine, yet after the accident I  felt differently, it was as if something had snapped. I tried to  overcome the feeling-the disinclination for her visits-I felt detached  and our relationship seemed unreal. I imagined it was just due to the  accident and that later I should feel differently..." He broke off and  twisting on his side, leaned on his uninjured arm; the sudden silence  between them was pregnant with meaning, until the shrill call of a bird  startled him again to speech. "Coming down here-when I sat beside Alaine  in the car-I began to recall things."

"You imagined that all was over between you and Miss Jason? The query  was forced from Felicity, almost against her better judgment.

"Yes-how did you guess?" Without awaiting an answer he went on more  quickly and with added confidence "It was all too vivid to be a mere  figment of the imagination every detail of that night came back with  startling clarity-even the words she spoke. Alaine admitted, that  although she was fond of me, her work-success and excitement meant  more to her-she confessed that she would find my sort of life unbearable  and that our engagement was a mistake." As Felicity made to speak he  interrupted. "Now perhaps you will understand more readily my state of  mind since yesterday ... perhaps more readily excuse my lack of  civility."

"It was all true-Alaine's ring was in your overcoat pocket." Felicity  was amazed at the ease with which she spoke, indifferent to the anger  her confession might evoke; the relief of knowing that it lay within her  power to clear his mind of any lingering doubt made all else seem  unimportant. "Alaine asked me to return it to her, she told me that  finding it there might distress you. I agreed because I believed that to  be true."

"You found it there-you gave it back-" He echoed her words stupidly as  if trying to absorb their true significance, then gripping her shoulder,  he twisted her round until she faced him, and his eyes stared at her  searchingly.

"It was unpardonable of me to interfere, I, realize now I can only  repeat that I believed I was acting for the best." Her voice was steady  but beneath her appearance of calm a rising sense of fear assailed her.  Although his hand dropped from her shoulder, she could still feel the  pain where his fingers had gripped, and she was glad of the trifling  discomfort, at least it gave her a feeling of reality.

"Now I understand-everything." The note of utter weariness in his voice  stabbed at Felicity's heart and the green vista around her was suddenly  dimmed by the unshed tears which misted her eyes. With slow movements he  dragged himself to his feet, then held out a hand to assist his  companion. "We'd better be getting back."

As Felicity stood by his side he made to release her, but with an  impulse she was quite incapable of resisting, she gripped his hand  firmly between both her own, holding desperately as a drowning man might  ding to a straw. "Please-please tell me-what does this all mean, what  have I done?"

He seemed inclined for a moment to pull himself free, then perhaps  unable to resist the appeal of her whole attitude, he spoke. "What you  have done-well-" He shrugged his shoulders. "That is difficult to say-"

"But you need not go through with this engagement! Now you know the  truth-Alaine wouldn't expect you to-"  Felicity exclaimed, lifting  her eyes anxiously to his face seeking agreement.

"A few days ago Alaine and I settled the date of our wedding-a month  from today. My word is pledged to Alaine, she wears my ring-need I say  more?"



There was finality in his tone and bearing which brooked no argument.  Felicity's fingers automatically relaxed their grip on his hand and  following his lead she walked slowly over to where the horses were  tethered. As he held her horse's head for her to mount, some inner urge  compelled her to seek further enlightment. "You believe it right to go  on-you believe that to be the chivalrous thing to do?"

"I don't really know," he admitted slowly. "It may not seem true to  character-that is as you and your fellow nurses have summed me up-but  Alaine had asked me to forget that unfortunate interlude then I should  most certainly have agreed, so the end result would have been precisely  the same." He paused and as he continued there was a puzzling  significance to his words. "Of course everything might have been  different if during these past weeks I had known myself to be free-well,  then it might have been too late for reconciliations."                       
       
           



       

"I don't understand your reasoning," Felicity responded in bewilderment. "Too late-why too late?"

When he replied, the lines of his face had become set and grim.  "Disregard my words-they were meaningless." He dropped the rein he still  held and laid his hand over hers where it rested on the saddle. "Your  air of disbelief has told me that perhaps, after all, things are better  as they are-" He broke off abruptly, then continued. "There is, however,  one thing I'd better tell you now, while I'm in chastened mood." His  expression softened and his fingers tightened over hers. "I want to  thank you for all you've done for me during the past weeks, I realize  how awkward and ungrateful I have appeared at times but I haven't meant  it, you've been patient-and more helpful than I can say, I owe you more  than ordinary words can express." His formal thanks warmed Felicity's  heart, but it was the contact of his hand on hers which sent a quiver of  excitement through every nerve of her body. Once again silence dropped  as a barrier between them, the birds seemed to have stayed their song  and the breeze no longer stirred the grass or trees. Once again Felicity  experienced that sensation of aloneness, just she and Guy isolated on  the very edge of the world.

"May I?-just a token of-gratitude."

Before Felicity had grasped the meaning of his request, Guy's lips had  brushed her forehead with a soft kiss, it might have been the brush of a  butterfly's wing or the wind lifting a wisp of her hair but with that  fleeting touch he awoke within her some chord she had long believed  mute. "We'd better be getting back."

His prosaic words brought Felicity back to earth, she felt too choked to  speak but turned obediently to mount. The return ride was silent, the  hoof beats were hard as if the very turf had lost its buoyant spring,  the sky had clouded over and a drop of rain splashed against Felicity's  cheek-was it rain, or was it a tear? That was something she hardly knew.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN



To Felicity, who was longing for the solitude of her own room, lunch  that day seemed an endless ritual. Colonel Brenton, adhering to the  habit of years, believed a meal to be both a leisurely repast and a  social occasion; he was certainly a past master in the matter of  conversation and the excellently cooked courses which were placed before  them fully deserved both time and appreciation.



It was perhaps unfortunate that just as Felicity had finished her coffee  and was about to make her excuses the Colonel should have made the  intriguing discovery that not only had he known her father, Sir Frampton  Dene, but had in fact spent many a holiday with him indulging their  mutual love of fishing. Soon after their marriages they had lost touch  with one another, but Colonel Brenton, delighted with his discovery,  plied Felicity with questions regarding her home in Somerset and the  years spent there prior to her father's death.

"If I remember rightly, Frampton had two children-a boy, wasn't there?"

"Yes," Felicity agreed. "My brother Antony, he left England after Daddy  died, he went out to America-neither of us got on with our stepfather,  that's why I left home too."

"I see-well, well." The old man chuckled with obvious delight. "I was  glad to meet you before, my dear, I am even happier to welcome you  now-Frampton's daughter, I can hardly believe it!"

Alaine, who had been listening to the conversation with ill-concealed  surprise could no longer restrain her curiosity. "You aren't a real  nurse at all then-I mean-well, how can you be?"

"Of course I'm a nurse!" Felicity laughed. "I ought to be, the way I  worked for it, I've enjoyed it too, and I wouldn't change my job with  anyone."

"But you don't need to work like that-I mean with a titled father and  all that-well, it seems silly to me." Alaine was obviously incredulous.

In spite of the anxiety which had nagged at her all through lunch  Felicity could not fail to be amused at Alaine's patent air of  disbelief. "But don't you see I wanted independence, my small allowance  wouldn't keep me, so when I decided to leave home, I had to earn my own  living. Having a title doesn't mean anything, my brother inherited  that-it's all he did inherit, so he has had to fight his own way too."  She turned to the Colonel. "Tony has a fruit farm in California, it was  an uphill job but he has made a very good thing of it; he is due back in  England any time now, the arrangement is that I should return and share  his home."