yRing for the Nurse(30)

       

She could well imagine Alaine's outburst once she was alone with Guy,  she had overheard the long drawn "We ... I ... I" which had escaped her  lips before the door had closed behind her, but while she discarded her  print uniform dress for the perfectly cut breeches and jacket she was  too happy to worry about anything but the coming ride. A swift glance in  the cheval mirror did nothing to dampen her spirits. She couldn't have  changed at all in the intervening years, it still fitted to perfection  and she knew, without undue conceit, that her outfit left nothing to be  desired.

Alaine, apparently undeterred by the fact that she was still clad in her  dressing-gown, waited by Guy's side on the terrace. No doubt she had  felt that the start off might be too good to miss, and Felicity felt  sure that she still imagined her standard of riding rather in the  category of a pony ride at Margate. For a moment Alaine contemplated  Felicity in silence, then with her customary frankness exclaimed, "What a  lovely suit, you look as though you'd been poured into it! Having  always seen you in uniform, I never imagined you'd have such good taste  in dress."

"Well-how about this ride?" There was a note of impatience in Guy  Brenton's voice, he showed clearly that he had no intention of listening  to a discourse on clothes. He need not have worried, since apart from  acknowledging Alaine's words with a smile, Felicity made no response and  was already walking slowly down the steps towards the horses which the  groom held in readiness. Felicity sprang lightly into the saddle, then  reined her horse while the groom adjusted the stirrups. Despite the  handicap of his arm Guy mounted without difficulty, and after a brief  wave to Alaine, he was walking his horse slowly down the gravelled drive  at Felicity's side.

The reality was quite as good as the anticipation and Felicity was  filled with an exhilaration she had not known for years. Quickly  reassured that her companion was far too experienced a horseman to be  unduly handicapped by his bandaged arm, Felicity followed his lead and  as they reached a wide stretch of open country the horses broke into a  gallop. The reverberation of their hooves was like music in her ears and  as the wind blew round her face and lifted the soft tendrils of her  hair, she experienced a sense of unexpected happiness. Gradually they  slowed down and Felicity drank in the vista of blue sky with white  dappled clouds above their heads, and around them the undulating heath  stretching far to the horizon. For a brief moment she was conscious of a  feeling of isolation as if she and her companion stood alone at the  very edge of the world.

"That was good!" Guy Brenton's words broke the spell and as he leaned  forward to pat his horse's neck, Felicity found herself watching him  from beneath the rim of her velvet cap; had he shared her exhilaration?  She dismissed the idea impatiently. Why should he? To him it had been  just an enjoyable ride as once it might have been to her, only this  particular ride had been different.

"Shall we dismount for a while-have a cigarette and let the horses browse a bit?" he added.

"Yes, I'd like to."

As Felicity freed her foot from the stirrup and slip down, she felt  Guy's hand beneath her arm. The contact moved her strangely, she had as  yet scarcely shaken free from the world of fantasy in which she had been  indulging and it was not until her feet touched solid ground and she  lifted her face to thank him that the dream faded and with a sense of  shock she saw the sombre expression in his dark eyes and the unrelenting  line of jaw and lips.

The silence remained unbroken while they settled themselves against a  grassy mound. Felicity had refused his offer of a cigarette but she had  watched him while he'd placed one between his lips, watched a playful  breeze persistently blow out each match he struck. "Let me help you."  She leaned forward and cupped her hands round his. "That's something you  do need two hands for!" She forced a laugh while she kept her hands in  place until the cigarette glowed.

"Thanks." For a few moments he smoked in silence, then apparently  forgetting the trouble he had had lighting it, he stubbed out the  half-finished, .cigarette. Felicity was conscious of the tenseness in  his whole bearing and although he lay back against the banked grass  there was nothing relaxed about him, and now he was no longer smoking,  his fingers pulled irritably at the stubble of grass. "You ride  extremely well."                       
       
           



       

The remark was so unexpected that Felicity could not repress a smile.  "Thanks-you know you needn't try to make conversation, I'm quite happy  sitting here-the sky-the country-that's quite enough for me."

"But there is something I must say-even if it does disturb your nature  study." He twisted over to face her, their eyes were level and his gaze  held hers. "I owe you an apology-I want to tell you I'm sorry."

Nothing he could have said would have startled Felicity more; for a  moment she remained speechless, her eyes returning his gaze while she  could feel the sudden thump of her heart beneath the thin silk of her  shirt. Almost as if she would conceal its rapid rise and fall she  instinctively drew her jacket close, aware of surprise at the  unsteadiness of her fingers in performing that simple act. She was  agonizingly conscious that he was waiting for her to speak, his eyes  still held hers and their expression was troubled-almost questioning, as  if he expected some answer to his statement. Unable to bear the  silence, Felicity found herself speaking, she had tried to instil a note  of levity into her voice and even in her own ears it sounded unnatural  and strained. "Sorry?-for what?-surely you aren't apologizing for your  manner since yesterday. I'm pretty used to that, all we nurses are, your  apology is far more startling than your behaviour." Her effort at a  joke and the forced laugh which accompanied it seemed only to increase  the tenseness of the atmosphere.

"Oh-that? You've already made it pretty clear what the staff think of  me." He dismissed her statement then added, "My behaviour towards you  personally since we left hospital has been outrageous, you were  perfectly justified in deciding to leave."

"Anyway, I've decided to stay-at least you decided for me-so don't you  think we'd better forget it?" Felicity now spoke more easily and there  was genuine warmth in the smile which dimpled her lips. Instinctively  she extended her hand and for a moment her fingers rested lightly  against the rough tweed of his jacket. "Please don't look so worried,  you can't sit here frowning, not with all this beauty surrounding  you-listen!-did you hear the cuckoo?-and look!-straight ahead, beside  that clump of trees, I am sure that patch of yellow must be primroses.  Oh, isn't it all just lovely?"

"This is a favourite spot of mine, not a sign of civilization in sight,  not even a chimney pot! Places such as this must have remained unchanged  since the beginning of time, they give one a sense of peace and  isolation." He paused and speaking again as if carefully choosing each  word, went on, "There is something worrying me, I think that you could  help."

"Of course-but I-"

He ignored her interruption. "We know that following concussion there  may be lapses of memory, perhaps a few moments remain forever forgotten,  perhaps hours-even days. Can it, I wonder, do more than that?-alter  one's fundamental feelings and emotions? I can hardly believe it."  Although he paused, Felicity could find nothing to say, she felt  confused, uncertain as to his meaning, but realizing that something was  expected of her, she shook her head.

"I had better explain myself more clearly. I had always been too  interested in my work to bother about marriage until I met Alaine-I  suppose that when one falls for a girl for the first time one falls  hard-anyway, I did. There was only one bone of contention between us-her  work and her friends-I never could fit in with her circle-and no doubt  showed my disapproval with the result that I remained an outsider, the  skeleton of the feast! It was like that on the night of the accident, it  was an impossible party!" He smiled grimly. "It was in the car, on our  way home"-he broke off again and turned directly to Felicity, his eyes  seeking hers questioningly and in that questioning there was an urgent  appeal-"the rest-well, you see, that's what I can't remember-"

"Please go on-what can't you remember?" Felicity found herself taut as  she held her breath waiting for him to continue. It was coming now, the  question of the ring.