ZAK SEAL Team Seven(45)
Ty the fuck looked like he wanted to throat punch me, like I wasn’t feeling bad enough about myself already. She sniffled and stopped but I felt like an asshole for a long time after. The others did everything they could to cheer her up after I sat with her on my lap and she was soon over it, but I was left with a hole in my gut. I found myself wanting to call her mother and ask if she’d ever had to deal with this shit and how she did it.
“Cheer up bro, that’s the first of many.” Connor clapped me on the shoulder as he ran his hand over the baby’s hair.
“I hope the fuck not.” That shit was heart breaking. I could see it now, she was gonna run circles around my ass. I found myself wanting her mother to be there to see that too and squashed the thought. What the fuck was wrong with me today anyway? From the moment I woke up, my mind has been on this one track. Like something unseen was forcing me to look deeper.
I’d awakened with the scent of her in my nose and a raging need to be inside her. I was halfway into fucking when I realized the I wasn’t thinking about breeding her, my only interest was in the pleasure that I derived from her body. Maybe it was the way her body answered mine without hesitation, or the way she just gave in without a fight.
Yes she was tied down to my bed, but there were other ways for her to fight me and she hadn’t. It looks like she had found a way to defeat me after all; her compliance shamed me. Still I couldn’t give in that easily, it was my stupid pride I know, but I just couldn’t let go that easily. She’d wronged me, even she admitted it, so why should I feel guilty for wanting to exact vengeance?
***
VANESSA
I think Zak might be wearing down, at least I hope he is. I know he thinks that this is what he wants, but I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been lying here for the last day and a half, and I know that in the end it will only destroy him. I know this because I know that already he loves our little girl, and I know him. One day he’s gonna look back at this and hate himself.
I wanted to hate him for it, wanted to fight him every step of the way, but I realized that that wasn’t the way. The truth is that we were both to blame, maybe me more than him, but we both played a part. And when it was all said and done, I still loved him, and if I could say that after the last few days well then. But I had to find a way to get through to him before his hate consumed him. Our little girl needed her daddy and I needed him, if he’ll have me.
This morning I had felt the difference in his touch. He’d caught himself eventually, but for those first few minutes he’d been my old Zak. He was still in there somewhere. As long as I knew that, there was hope. I hoped he did get me pregnant, it would mean being here with him a little longer. I was desperate enough to settle for even that. I just had to find a way to get him to trust me enough to untie me. I’m sure he knew he couldn’t keep me here like this for much longer, that it was just his hurt and anger fueling this behavior, but Zak danced to the beat of his own drum and he’d give it the old college try until something else came along.
I grew tired from the heat and my limbs hurt a little from inaction, I should probably tell him, but I was afraid that my complaining might send him off on another one of his rants. The last thing I wanted to remind him of was how long I’d kept his daughter away from him. I fell asleep with his name on my lips and an apology in my heart. Poor Zak, it looks like every time I come into his life all I do is destroy it in some way.
Chapter 13
ZAK
She was asleep when I finally made it back. It pissed me off that I’d spent the whole time I was away thinking about her here waiting for me. It seemed whether I wanted it or not her pussy had a hold on me. I didn’t want to think about her, didn’t want to second-guess myself about what the fuck I was doing. But as time went on I found myself questioning my actions. When it got to be too much, I made my excuses and came back because I couldn’t fucking stay away, and I hated her even more for it.
The baby had taken a bottle of formula for the first time, but I couldn’t even find any comfort in that. The book said her mother’s milk is what was best for her, and I wanted only the best for my little angel. I’d put her down for her nap, using that as my excuse for coming back here so soon. We were finally getting somewhere. The string I’d tugged on had started unraveling and so far we’d found four other accounts. Quinn was busy moving cash around right now, which I was sure was going to anger these fucks and make them come after us.
We’d already done all the we could to ensure that the place was safe, and like I’d said it was time we went on the offensive. Taking their money was only the first strike, if we kept hitting at them, in time we’d expose the fucks hopefully. With the amount of money we’d moved today there was no doubt they were gonna feel that shit, it was left to be seen what form of action they were gonna take in retaliation.