You're the One That I Want(105)

‘Sold!’ laughed Kate, looping her arm through my red-headed best friend’s and nuzzling her head onto her shoulder.

The two mothers had become exceptionally close – probably because our children had become as inseparable as Robert and I had been at that age. It was a comfort to see how much each of them valued the other’s friendship – and how far we’d all come.

Before any of us had even nudged from our spot at the school gate, we all took a collective (and tentative) look into the playground, making one last check that all was calm and happy (and that our presence was still unrequired), before tearing ourselves away.

I left Isaac in the comfort of his new surroundings, but for the rest of that day, in fact, for many days, weeks, months and years to come, I wondered what stamp school would end up leaving on his heart. I hoped with every ounce of my being that he would have the pleasure of knowing love and heartache in the way that I did. It might sound strange me wanting my five-year-old son to experience heartache, but without it I wouldn’t have met his mother – a wonderful woman who taught me just how uncomplicated falling in love can be when it is with the right person, as well as highlighting the notion that timing is everything. If I had met her earlier in life I’ve no doubt that I’d have made a complete mess of the whole thing. I wouldn’t have been ready to receive her love or to give the love I’d spent years accumulating. I was unaware that it had been building up so intensely inside of me, longing to be given and bursting to cherish another being in all its entirety. When Kate came along I knew I was ready to open my heart again, but was as surprised as she was to discover its magnitude and strength – love oozed out of me like an uncontrollable tidal wave, happy to be freed as it quickly enveloped her in a tight embrace – promising never to let go.

Without it I wouldn’t have him – my biggest challenge, yet my greatest achievement. Nothing on earth could make me happier than watching my son discover the world. He fills each of my days with happiness and pride, a feeling I know I’ll savour and never let go. Ever.

Without that love and heartache I also wouldn’t have the unconditional friendships I have with his godparents Maddy and Robert. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what my life would have been like without the two of them by my side – if I’d become friends with other kids and hadn’t even known them. Without them, I wouldn’t be me. That’s something I can be sure of.

Nor would my little boy have such a close relationship with Emily Miles – the beautiful little redhead who’s every inch as wonderful, magical and spellbinding as her mum.

I tell myself that there’s no significance in the way his eyes twinkle when he looks at her, that he talks about her nonstop, or the fact that he holds her hand whenever possible … but you never know.





Acknowledgements




Writing book one was easy – I didn’t really have a deadline and was simply writing it for fun. Book two, however, was a whole other story thanks to the expectations I placed upon myself and the fact that life has gone a little bit crazy.

So, for keeping me sane I’d have to say a massive thank you to my agent Hannah Ferguson. Not only for continuing to believe in me, but also for getting me to believe in myself again once the self-doubt had started to seep through. Apparently it was all part of something I like to call ‘Second Book Syndrome’. Phew. A special thanks to everyone at The Marsh Agency (who work alongside Hannah), for looking after me and making everything so simple.

As Billy and Me’s editor Claire Pelly took some well-deserved time away from her MJ desk to look after baby Tara (she’s so cute – I’ve seen photos), I was left in the capable hands of Celine Kelly. Thank you for your ideas and inspiring pieces of cake.

Katie Sheldrake, Kim Atkins, Fiona Brown, Beatrix McIntyre and the wonderful PR, marketing, digital and sales teams at MJ – thanks for being so enthusiastic about my books and being lovely bubbly people.

To everyone who’s messaged me on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr demanding to know when they can get their hands on my next book – thank you for the support, I hope you enjoy it.

To all my wonderful friends – you rock my socks off!

Mum, Dad, Debbie B, Giorgina, Lee, Mario, Bob, Debbie F and Carrie – thanks for being the best family on the planet … my life is a lot easier and happier with you guys in it!

Tom, thank you for inspiring me with your many talents and encouraging me to nurture some of my own.

Crumb, you are our everything. I hope you grow to love with all your heart, to follow your dreams and to laugh daily. Thanks for all the kicks along the way – they weren’t distracting at all.