You Don't Own Me(98)

I look down. I know I should be ashamed. I should be mortified that I’ve given myself to a man who is so obviously a man-whore, but I’m not. And that thought gives me sudden strength. I won’t sit here and let my brother abuse BJ. I have something with BJ and I don’t want to be disloyal to that thing, whatever it is. I reach out my hand and place it on my brother’s arm. It pulls him out of his rage.

‘He’s not like what you think.’

My brother groans. ‘How can you even say that? He’s got you going behind all our backs and lying! Shit! He’s havin’ a laugh at our family’s expense. I thought he was more honorable than that!’

I flush to the roots of my hair. ‘It’s not his fault. He wanted to confront Jake, but I begged him not to. It’s the wrong time. Jake is so happy at the moment. In less than a month he is going to be a dad. I don’t want to spoil it for him.’

I see Dominic’s expression change and I press my advantage. ‘Besides, if BJ is the dog you say he is, it will all be over in the next couple of weeks. Why worry and upset Jake unnecessarily?’

‘You deserve better than that barbarian, Layla.’ He looks sad when he says it.

‘It’s just an experience, Dom. I’m not planning to marry him or have a family with him. I’m all grown up now and I’m just spreading my wings, living my life.’

‘If he fucking hurts you …’

‘I am not going to get hurt. I’m going in with my eyes wide open. But if I do get hurt, then I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off, and I’ll be wiser for it. I won’t shame our family.’

‘I’ll give you until the baby is born. If you’re not finished spreading your wings by then I’m telling Jake,’ he says sternly.

‘Thank you. I know it will have died away by then.’

‘It better fucking have,’ he says morosely.

After that we eat our breakfast, but my news has put Dominic in a foul mood and by the time he drops me off I too have been affected by it.

I call BJ.

He answers on the first ring. There is tension in his voice. ‘Hi. Everything OK?’

‘Not really. I stupidly asked Dom a few questions about the feud and you, and he immediately guessed. So I had to tell him. He didn’t react very well, but he did promise not to interfere and to let me tell Jake when I’m ready.’

‘Want to do lunch?’

‘Yeah, but let’s go somewhere no one knows us.’





NINETEEN




Layla

I have my stockinged feet up on the radiator and the radio is on as we drive away from London to BJ’s country house. Outside, the rain is lashing down in sheets making visibility poor. It makes me feel we are in a bubble. Lost Frequencies comes on.

‘This is my most favorite song in the whole wide world,’ I tell him and turn it up as loud as it will go.

He smiles.

My lips are painted red and I feel happy. The kind of happy that makes you feel like you can jump up and touch the ceiling. When you think you love the whole world and everyone in it because you are so happy.

The electric gates open and we drive into Silver Lee. It is only two o’clock, but it is already dark and all the lights have been lit. BJ opens the door and I precede him.

‘Is no one in?’

‘No, I asked my housekeeper to make himself scarce until later tonight.’

I grin. ‘So we are totally alone?’

‘Not quite. There is someone I have to introduce you to.’

I raise my eyebrows.

‘He’s a bit of an old fart and doesn’t like people, but he’s kind of important to me so let’s see what you make of each other.’

‘OK.’

We walk down through the house with its curving glass frontage. A storm is raging outside. He pauses by a door. ‘He can be quite foul mouthed,’ he warns.

Then he opens the door and a nasal voice screeches, ‘Did you fuck him?’ My mouth drops open. BJ makes an after-you gesture with his hand. ‘Bitch, better have my money. Bitch better. Bitch better. Pay me what you owe me.’ I enter the room and there is no one in there. There’s just a grey parrot with a red tail.

‘Meet Jeremy Thomas,’ BJ says walking towards the bird. He holds his hand under it. ‘Step up,’ he says and the bird climbs on to his hand and looks at me with its head cocked to one side. ‘Cunt.’

I laugh. ‘Did your bird just call me a cunt?’

‘Yeah, I forgot to say he’s a bit of a misogynist. My mother hates him.’

‘Has he called her one too?’

‘I’m afraid so. He used to belong to a Jamaican pimp so he generally has a very bad opinion of women and he’s always asking them for money.’