You Don't Own Me(133)

I take a deep breath. This explanation is as important for me as it is for her.

‘Therefore, I’m going to the source of problem. I am going to fix my immune system so it will do the job that it is designed to do. I truly believe the body has powerful healing abilities of its own.’

I gently stroke Maddie’s hand and smile sadly at her. ‘I love you Maddie. Always.’

Tears start flowing from her eyes. She doesn’t attempt to wipe them away.

‘Besides Maddie, you know me, I won’t roll over and let anybody tell me that this is how it is, and I can never change it. The statistics are clear. Less people die of cancer than of cancer treatments.’

‘I was so sad, I could not sleep last night, Layla.’

I bite my lip trying to think of something I can say to make it better. ‘Remember that time when we were kids and that really good-looking guy, what’s his name again? Oh yes, Marcus, invited us to that party?’

She frowns. ‘Yeah.’

‘Remember you wanted to go.’

‘Yeah.’

‘And I didn’t because my gut told me something was wrong.’

‘And you were right because that party got raided and all those kids got into big trouble,’ she finished slowly.

‘That same instinct is telling me now to stay away from the doctor’s office.’

A new look of understanding comes into Maddie’s kind, dear face.





THIRTY-NINE




Layla

I look at the calendar and smile with satisfaction. I have made it to four and a half months. There are only 40 days left. The baby’s heartbeat is strong, my skin is glowing, and I have more energy than I have ever had.

At times like this, I feel as if everything happens for a reason. Because this happened to me, Jake bought an organic farm and now the whole family has organic vegetables all year round.

My mother and I have learned so much about things we would never have thought to even think about. We no longer eat wheat or processed foods or anything with preservatives in it. At first it was difficult. But my mother is a culinary genius. Now she even makes ice cream using organic ingredients.

I take out the marijuana leaves that have been soaking for five minutes in water, and put them into the centrifugal juicer and switch it on. For the fifth time today I drink the concoction. I follow it with a spoonful of organic bicarbonate soda mixed in with maple syrup. It is Nora’s day off and I am cooking. It’s nearly time for BJ to return.

Ever since that night Jake found him in the caves and drove him home he is a completely different man. I remember I went out into the living room to meet him when I heard the car and I saw him stumble like a drunk over the threshold. But when he saw me, he took me in his arms and, as sober as a judge said, ‘I love you, Layla. Use me as the rock you lean on.’

After that he was unshakeable in his support. He did everything in his power to assist me, care for me and protect me. Sometimes though, I’d catch him looking at me with a yearning expression. Then he would smile almost sadly and say, ‘Sometimes I can’t believe how beautiful you are.’

I have a surprise for him today. He insists on eating the same food as me, but today I have brought him a lovely steak from a grass-fed, free-range cow. I called Bertie earlier and she gave me his favorite recipe. ‘Make sure you put a knob of butter at the very end. It gives a beautiful rich taste to the meat.’

When I hear his car drive up, I heat the skillet and add a drop of oil. I drain the water from the potatoes and begin to mash them. I lay the meat on the hot metal. The sizzle is terrific. I add butter and milk and lightly mix them into the mashed potatoes as BJ walks through the door.

‘Wow! Something smells good,’ BJ says coming towards me. He nuzzles my neck. ‘And that’s not even taking the steak into the mix.’

I laugh.

‘So what’s with the steak?’

‘It’s for you,’ I say simply.

‘I told you. We’re both eating the same food.’

‘Just this once. I’ve gone to all the trouble.’ I untangle myself from his arms, go to turn the meat and drop in some crushed garlic in the potatoes.

He watches me with folded arms.

‘Go on. Sit down.’ He sits at the table. It’s set with salad and his drink. He takes a sip. I put the knob of butter into the pan and shake it slightly. My mouth actually begins to water. I haven’t had meat in so long. I pull the pan off the fire to let the meat rest and begin to plate up. The mashed potatoes go underneath, with the sliced steak resting on top. I carry the plate to the table and put it in front of BJ.

I sit next to him. ‘Bon appetito.’

He watches me pick up my fork and dip it into my salad of greens, sprouts, seeds, avocado, and tomatoes. Then he sets half his meat onto my plate.