With This Heart(15)

“             It better not be because of me!” she bellowed with a hard stare.

I blanched. “I can go on a road trip             anytime.             You’re really sick, Caroline.”

I thought I could see black plumes of smoke shooting out of her ears in that moment. “Abby. If you do not go on that road trip in a few days, I’ll forbid the hospital from letting you in. I’ll tell them that you mentioned bringing a bomb in and I’ll make them put you on their watch list.”

“             Wow,” I mouthed, trying to hold back my laughter. Caroline was so ridiculous, but I half believed her.

“             Yeah, I’m that serious.”

“             Okay, psychopath. Jeez, I can’t imagine what you would be like if you weren’t strapped down by ten machines right now.”

“             A real force of nature,” she replied proudly.

“             Exactly.”

“             So you’ll go?” she asked, hope dancing in her hollowed eyes.

“             Yes,” I answered, even though the guilt was hard to push through.

“             With him?”

“             We’ll see…”





CHAPTER FIVE


On Thursday morning I headed to the drug store to fill my prescriptions and pick up a few travel-sized essentials. My original plan was to leave for the road trip the next day, but I hadn’t talked to Beck since earlier in the week. Was twenty-four hours enough notice? Was I really going to be insane enough to bring him along with me? I knew that any normal person wouldn’t even consider it, but I just need you to be on my side. When that career counselor asked me to tell her about myself, I drew a giant BLANK. There was nothing— I had no reckless nights of sneaking out or drinking, going to parties, or any other normal teenage mischief. I needed something, at least one or two shenanigans, to cling onto when I was ninety. I could look back and shake my head at how careless I had been.

Just. This. Once.

So I did it. I was in that drug store, deciding between getting one or two mini-toothpastes, when I called Beck.

He picked up on the third ring. “Abby Mae.”

I don’t know if he was surprised to hear from me or if he always greeted people with a hint of cheerfulness.

“             Good morning, Beck. It has come to my attention that I have an additional seat available for my road trip, which leaves tomorrow at eleven am sharp.” I cut right to the chase.

“             Which one?”

“             Which one, what?” I asked, picking up three tubes of toothpaste, optimistic that Beck would want to come with me. Therefore, we would need a bit more than two tubes, but not quite four.

“             Which road trip are you talking about? I’ve been invited on a few that leave tomorrow, so it’s been hard to keep them all straight.”

I covered my smile with my hand as if he could have seen it from his end of the line.

“             Your attempt at humor is suddenly making me rethink the available seat.”

I toyed with one of the toothpaste tubes.

He laughed and then asked, “Shouldn’t we meet up and plan out the trip before tomorrow?”

My heart,             the             heart, leaped into action at the thought. He had a good point; I really had no plan at all, just one end goal.

“             I have to go to R.E.I. this afternoon to grab a sleeping bag, want to meet there?”

“             The one on Market Street?” he asked.

“             Yeah, around four?” I held my breath, hoping he wouldn’t laugh in my face.

“             I’ll see you then.”

I dropped the phone back in my bag and then continued strolling down the aisles. I’d be lying if I said that having sex with Beck hadn’t crossed my mind since meeting him. Sorry if that shocks you. Teenage hormones are real and scary. I’d had some crazy dreams the past few nights that involved Beck and sundae toppings.