With This Heart(11)

“             Your mother told me you earned your GED a few weeks ago?”

I nodded. “It wasn’t so bad.”

“             Have you put any thought toward applying to college?” She broached the subject lightly, as if she didn’t want to offend me.

Of course I had. Everyone thinks about going to college. I had read enough New Adult Romances to know that the moment I stepped on campus, I would surely be noticed by the mysterious loner jock or hot nerd that didn’t get noticed in high school, or maybe the off-limits TA.

“             Yes. I’ve put some thought into it,” I offered plainly.

“             And?”

“             And that’s all. I’ve thought about it.”

She nodded for what felt like an eternity after that, scanning my face and acting as if she was reading between the lines. Could she discern something in my sage green eyes that had eluded me in the mirror that morning? Maybe my future career path was tattooed around my irises in plain view of everyone but me.

“             Abby, I’m going to have you take a career aptitude assessment. I always give this to individuals like yourself; those who find themselves unsure of what they would enjoy doing in life.”                          She didn’t wait for my response. She stood to retrieve the test and a pencil from her desk.

I blurted out, “Can anyone be a Life Coach? I’ve never heard of it before.”

She cleared her throat, obviously surprised by my question. I didn’t want to be disrespectful of her in her own office, but it just seemed silly to me in a way. Counseling is counseling and I’m sure people genuinely benefit from it, but life seemed to be quite a strange thing and to think that any of us knows enough to not only coach ourselves in it, but to coach others as well… it just made me think of that quote from Socrates that said: “true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us” or something.

Weren’t we all just faking it anyway?

“             There’s no real regulation of it, but I also have a master’s degree in family counseling and have had twenty years of experience in helping people meet their life goals.”

She had me there. She had twenty years of experience and I had only been             alive             nineteen years, so surely she knew more about what I should do than I did.





CHAPTER FOUR


I was lying awake that Tuesday night, tossing and turning. Nothing seemed to lull me to sleep. I tried turning on white noise (it was supposed to sound like beluga whales under water, but it skewed more toward creepy and I turned it off), rereading a boring book, and suffocating my face a little bit with a pillow in hopes that I would pass out. I finally caved and texted Beck.



Abby             : Are you awake?



I didn’t think to check the time until after I sent the message. It was two-thirty in the morning. Whoops. My phone vibrated in my hand and I thought he had texted back, but when I looked down my eyes practically bulged out of my face. He was             calling             me, like a real person would do. I played with the idea of ignoring it, but curiosity won out.

“             Hello?” I croaked, apparently my vocal cords weren’t aware that they were still needed for the day.

“             Abby.” I could hear his smile through the phone. I had forgotten the way my name sounded on his lips.

“             Hi,” I chirped for lack of any better conversational skills.

“             Hi.”

“             What are you doing up so late?” I asked.

He cleared his throat and then I heard rustling in the background. Was he on his bed? An image of him in boxers instantly flitted through my mind.

“             Watching             The Walking Dead             .”