Winter Wolf(51)
“It scares me, Bass…being a wolf.”
“Why?”
“Because this wolf, this animal inside me…she’s wild, untamed. What happens when I like what she makes me?”
He looked at her for a few minutes. For a moment, Katalina thought he wasn’t going to answer her. However, the look in his eyes said he would. He just needed to find the right words.
“Do you think I’m a monster?”
“What? No!”
“Then why would you think you’d be one? When I’m a wolf, life becomes simpler, but I’m not two people. Being a shifter doesn’t mean you have a nice side and a bad side. You’ve always been a shifter, Kat. You’d just never changed. Your wolf has always been in here.” He placed his hand over her heart. He continued, “She’s not a monster. She’s wild and free, but no monster. We don’t kill for the sake of killing. At the heart of who we are, we are loyal. Nothing comes before those we love.”
She swallowed the tears blocking her airways. She didn’t know how to reply. She opened her mouth not sure of the words that would spill out. “I need you to get better, Bass. I’m holding on, but…but my grip…it’s faltering.”
He smiled sadly at her. “One day, you’ll see what I see. One day, you’ll be shocked with the knowledge of how strong you actually are.”
Katalina curled into a ball on the bed beside him. She felt exposed to the world, the grip on her sanity wavering. Bass wrapped an arm around her, and with a shaky breath, she hoped he was enough to keep her tethered.
Chapter 19
Katalina didn’t do much else that day. She slept for a while next to Bass, and only left him to throw a stick for Arne. Standing on the threshold, Katalina threw the stick out onto the drive, and waited for Arne to return it to her. Every once in a while, he’d stop and whine, staring off into the distance.
“I know, boy. I’m sorry, but it’s not safe out there.” She didn’t even feel especially safe standing on the porch. She kept her hand on the door, ready to slam shut if anyone came near her. She wondered if Jackson would give up since he’d lost two of his men. Did the one she attacked make it back with her message? Was it Jackson who’d left her garden empty of all evidence?
The phone rang.
“Arne! Come on!” She slapped her leg frantically, trying to get him to move faster. “Move it!” He sauntered inside, not seeming at all bothered by the phone ringing.
Katalina slammed the door shut, threw the dead bolt across, and raced for the phone.
“H’llo?” she said breathlessly.
“Kat? It’s me. Why are you so out of breath?”
“I was outside with Arne, had to run. Are you on your way back?”
Please say no. Please say no.
“No, sorry. I’ve just arrived at your aunt’s. I’m going to spend the night and set off tomorrow afternoon, spend some time with Dillon.”
“Okay.” She remembered too late she shouldn’t sound so cheerful.
“Katalina, is everything okay there? You are being careful, right?”
“Everything’s great, Gram. Don’t worry.”
Her grandmother paused for a second. “You’re taking precautions, right? I know you are eighteen now, and well, he’s a nice boy.”
OH, MY GOD!
“Gram, stop! S-stop!” she stuttered into the phone. A wave of embarrassment heated her cheeks.
“I’ve got to say these things now, Kat. I’d love for your mother to be here, but…I know what young people get up to. I used to be young once myself. Hard to believe I know—”
Katalina cut off her words, wanting the floor to open up and swallow her. “STOP! I’m a virgin, Grandma. We do not need to have this conversation. We NEVER need to have this conversation, so stop, okay? Stop before I can never look you in the eyes again.”
“Oh, well, okay, dear, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Bye, Gram.”
She put down the phone and stood shell-shocked for a moment before Arne knocked against her knees after something.
“Can you believe she said that?” she muttered to the dog.
“You do realize he can’t understand you, even though you are a shifter.”
Katalina’s head shot up. “Get back in bed!” she snapped, pointing a finger.
“No…don’t make me. I’m going to go insane if I lay there any longer.”
“Fine. Sofa.” She pointed one hand, the other rested on her hip.
“Did I ever tell you, you are hot as hell when bossing me about?”
Her stern face slipped. She fixed it quickly but he saw.