Wherever You Will Go(89)

I know this stuff happens, and more severely, to women every day. I know how lucky I was that Saxon arrived when he did. I also know it wasn’t anybody’s fault but Paul’s.

It wasn’t my fault for being friendly towards a colleague, it’s not Nate’s fault for hiring him, and it’s certainly not Saxon’s fault for keeping him employed. I also know how much it has helped me to speak to someone.

After the incident with Paul, Rachel insisted I see her therapist. At first I was hesitant, thinking I was fine, but after two weeks of nightmares, seeing his face in my dreams every night, I was willing to try anything.

Of course seeing Dr. Steadman and talking about the Paul situation led to talk of Nate, and then of Saxon. I avoid her probing and questions as much as I can, and I’ve definitely made no further progress in that area.

Thankfully Saxon and Rachel agreed when I begged them not to tell anyone what happened. I don’t know how I would cope with my mum and dad or Jeanie and Mark all suffocating me, as well as Saxon and Rachel.

One thing Julie, Dr. Steadman, did insist on was to stop avoiding Jeanie’s attempts at contact and to begin seeing her again. Of course with Saxon hounding me as well, I had no choice but to finally relent.

So here I am, sitting on my couch in a navy blue shift dress, a tan belt and matching Christian Louboutins, wrapped in my tan coat and waiting for Saxon to arrive. I convinced him to take separate cars so it didn’t look odd, and he only gave in when I agreed he could follow me there.

My stomach drops as the front door opens. Saxon saunters in and stops when he sees me on the couch.

“Are you all right? You look like you’re about to vomit.”

“I’m fine.” My voice betrays me with a high squeak.

Saxon chuckles as he makes his way over to my side. He pulls me up and wraps me tightly in his arms. “It’ll be fine, Brooke. They love you. They’re going to be so happy to see you, and they understand why you stayed away.”

“Mmmmmm,” I mumble into his chest, soaking in his scent and letting it calm me.

“Come on, let’s get going. You know how Jeanie feels about tardiness.” He chuckles again.

Saxon locks up behind us and gives me a light peck before heading to our own cars. As I’m leaning forward in the dark, trying to get the key into the ignition, my driver’s door opens, and I jump back in my seat as Saxon leans in my car and takes my lips in the most devastating kiss.

His kiss is fierce as his soft lips coerce me to open before he laces his tongue with mine. His kiss is full of want, need, care, protectiveness, and… is that love? The words I thought I had dreamt come flowing into my mind. Did I dream them?

He pulls away, ending the delicious moment, and I’m left panting in shock.

“What the hell was that?” I breathe.

“I’m not going to get to touch you, kiss you or hold you for the next few hours. I wanted to get a taste to keep me going,” he smirks.

I can’t believe he still manages to make me speechless. I should be used to his blunt, forward, and sometimes crass approach. Saxon says what he thinks, and it’s one of the things I love about him.

Love?

Saxon laughs as he gives me one more light kiss, winks, and shuts my door again, making his way to his own car. Starting my car, I follow him out the driveway, and we drive to Jeanie and Mark’s house.

I don’t have time to focus on the fact I’m returning to Nate’s parents’ house for the first time without him. I’m too consumed with that kiss Saxon tortured me with and my slip about loving him.

Pulling into the circular drive in front of the three-storey stone house, I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. This is silly. They’ve always loved me and they just want to be there for me. They aren’t going to be upset with my absence or avoidance over the past nine months.

My door opens and Saxon smiles warmly down at me. “Come on,” he says as he holds his hand out.

Grabbing my purse, I let him pull me out of the car and lead me to the front portico. He squeezes my hand in reassurance before pulling it to his mouth and placing light kisses along my knuckles. I smile warmly up at him. How can a gesture so simple bring so much peace and comfort? One small action shows so much emotion and feeling.

The sweet moment is ruined as the front door opens before we knock, and I rip my hand out of Saxon’s grip and step away from him. Jeanie looks at Saxon quizzically before turning to me, her smile wide.

“Oh, Brooke. We’re so glad you’re here; we’ve missed you so much. How have you been, darling?” She pulls me into her embrace.

My body relaxes at her easy and genuine tone. “I’m doing much better.”