When You Wish

He kissed her lightly on her back as he thrust his manhood deep inside her willing vessel. She moaned underneath his touch; pushing back to take his fullness in; her back arched for maximum penetration. As he stroked her long and deep she felt her body quiver. The strong sensation of an orgasm on the cusp of being released caused her to push against him harder; wanting to feel him fully. He responded in kind and increased the speed and thrust of his manhood bringing her to the very peak of ecstasy. They came in tandem; their love juices commingling. Exhausted, he collapsed in her and they fell gently to the bed. He held her lovingly from behind as she nestled safely in his ebony arms. They were perfectly matched for each other – mind, body and spirit.

As Chance Eubanks cuddled his future wife, Alexis Bradley, he thought he heard her crying.

“What’s the matter babe? You okay?”Chance was concerned he may have hurt her during their last sexual encounter.

“Nothing… it’s nothing…” she replied trying to quiet the tears she began to shed.

Chance didn’t believe her though. He had known Alexis long enough to know when something was bothering her. He gently grabbed her by the arm and rolled her over slightly so he could see her face. Alexis’ cheeks were glistening from her spilled tears.

“Lexi, don’t lie to me. You know me better than that. Let’s talk.”

She reached out to him and cupped his neck pulling herself up to hug him tightly. She loved Chance so much. He was right. He did know her better than anyone else, but she wasn’t sure how receptive he would be to what she had to say. So she just held him and cried softly for as long as he would let her. She knew she would eventually have to tell him how she really felt,but she wasn’t quite ready. Her timing couldn’t have been worse. She wanted to get better control of her feelings before he detected the problem, but now it was too late. Alexis had to say something.

Chance and Alexis had been together almost three years. The first year of their relationship was more friends. It then progressed to friends with benefits. Chance was from the wrong side of the tracks; having had some altercations with the law as a juvenile and not having really much of a home life to speak of. But he had turned that all around, left the streets alone for the most part and now, at 28, was doing quite well for himself. Alexis was completely opposite having been raised by two parents in a loving home with her younger sister and brother. Alexis and her family were church folks, and much of their life revolved around their church family. Alexis had always been considered a “good girl” and role model, not only to her siblings, but many of her peers. At age 25, she had recently earned a business degree from a major institution, and was working as an assistant accounts executive for one of the largest banking firms in the southeast.

She met Chance through a family friend. At first,Alexiswasn’t interested in Chance. He was handsome -six feet tall, ebony skin with anice build (not overly athletic)- butAlexis wasn’t impressed with Chance’s good looks. She came in contact with attractive men on a daily basis. What Alexis wanted was a man of substance with strong character, goals and ambition.

Upon first meeting, she wasn’t sure Chance possessed those qualities. She had been guilty of judging a book by its cover, so to speak, and initially dismissed him because of his street savvy and swagger. But underneath all of that bravado, Alexis found an intelligent man with a warm and caring heart. He surprised her, and she gave him a chance. They talked and hung out as friends in the beginning, but Alexis soon found herself more and more enamored with Chance. Hewas a charmer and he made her laugh - a dangerous combination. Although their backgrounds were different, they still found they had a lot in common. One thing led to another and they grew closer; moving from friends to more. Chance was Alexis’ first real love and her first lover. She was a virgin until she gave herself to him. Now three years into the relationship, they were happily engaged. In just over a month, they would be married. Alexis should have been thrilled with marrying the man of her dreams, but there was a problem.

As much as Alexis loved Chance and loved making love to him, she found herself feeling extremely guilty. The conflict between her sanctified upbringing and being wholly available to the love of her life had been weighing heavily on her. Everything about what she had been taught in home and in church said that fornication wasa sin. Alexis listened with fear and trembling to too many sermons by the pastor and lectures by her parents that the wages of sin is death. Fornication equaled death, but Alexis’s love for Chance caused her to quiet the guilt-speaking voices in her head. She asked God for forgiveness over and over again. She swore she would do better, but then Chance would give her that look, make her laugh, tell her how much she meant to him or kiss her in her sweet spot and touch her in a way no man had ever touched her before. And before Alexis knew it - before she could protest - she found herself completely enraptured with loving her man. Alexis was scared; fearful that God would grow tired of her continued misdeeds and not forgive her again.