When You Know It’s Real(45)

“No, I’m not, and you’re not mine.”

“I’m yours, Pretty, and you’re mine. Don't let that shit fool you. Titles don't mean shit, baby girl.”

“It's not titles that I’m worried about, Siah. It's all the other bitches you’re fucking.”

I let that slide because it wasn't worth discussing right now. We were talking about her and Laken, so I walked over to her bed and sat down.

“Come here.”

“I'm good right here.” She folded her arms and sucked her damn teeth, but all I could focus on were her pretty ass lips, even though they were turned down into a frown.

“Nonie, come sit your ass down so we can talk.”

The look I gave her made her rethink her decision, but she still held off for a minute before she actually moved and sat next to me.

“Look, I know I ain't perfect, but you already knew that shit. As far as your ass being single, man, fuck that. You know better. Let me find out you fucking anybody but me, and it's gon’ be a problem.”

“How is that even fair? How can you even say that with a straight face?”

I chuckled. “’Cause I’m dead ass serious. I mean that shit, Pretty. Why do you need anybody else? I know it ain't ’cause you're not satisfied.” I glanced at her with a smirk and she rolled her eyes. “You not satisfied, Pretty?”

“It's not about sex, Siah. I don't want a man I have to share, and that’s who you are. That's all you’re going to be to me, and I deserve better than that.”

“You don't share me, Nonie, and you know that. Yeah, I might fuck a few other females, but that shit don't mean nothing. You think they get what you get? You the only person I drop everything for without a second thought. You call me and I’m there, you need me and I’m there. They can't get that shit. They can't get noting from me but this dick.”

She laughed sarcastically and was on her feet with her arms folded again. “That right there is what I’m talking ’bout. Why is that okay with you and why would you think that it's okay with me?”

“’Cause it's who I am, it's all I know. Fuck, Nonie. I’m trying to be better for you, ’cause you’re right, you do deserve better, but this shit ain't easy. I don't even know why I do that shit ’cause I swear on everything it don’t mean nothing—”

“Then you need to choose. I can't keep doing this, Siah. It's too hard. I don't wanna think about you being with anyone else, and the second you walk out my door that’s exactly what I do. I obsess over what bitch is laying in your bed. It's not fair, and it's too much.”

“No other bitch is laying in my bed, Pretty. That’s our bed and I wouldn't disrespect you like that,” I said playfully, trying to ease the tension.

“You know what I mean, Siah.”

Before I had a chance to address her last comment, I heard a heavy pounding on the door, followed by the bell and then my name being called. Thank goodness, Rocket was here to fix her damn door.

“Yo, I need to go holla at him so that he can fix your door, give me a minute.”

“I’m going to bed, Siah. Just lock the door when you leave.”

I just walked out her room and didn't say shit. I would make sure to lock the door, but best believe I’d be on the same side she was on when I did it.

I chilled in the living room making calls and drinking while Rocket fixed Nonie's door. When he was finally done, I paid him and sent him on his way. Nonie stayed in her room, but I knew she had showered and gone to bed because the scent of her body wash filled the damn house like she used the entire bottle.

After I showered, I stood beside the bed watching Nonie sleep. She looked so damn peaceful, but I knew her heart was conflicted. She was in love with me and I didn't know what to do with that. Honestly, I loved her too, but I couldn't handle how that made me feel. To me, love meant death.

My mother loved me and died giving me life. My father loved my mother and me, which forced him to make the toughest decision of his life and that was to choose which one of us lived or died. When it was all said and done, it was her decision. She made him promise that I would take my first breath, even if it meant she was going to take her last.

He was never the same after that. Everything about him changed, and his heart has been off limits ever since. Because of it, he raised me to protect mine, and that’s all I knew. I wanted to love Nonie, I wanted to be what she needed, I just didn't know how to. But I could feel the line being drawn, and I needed to get my shit together because losing her was not an option.





Jock


“Damn, these joints are fresh as fuck, Siah. I need to order these.” I held up a pair of grey leather high tops that were on a display in our shop. We kept the hottest shit in there, thanks to Siah. He was good for that. I loved expensive shit, but he knew how to find it. Neither of us were flashy with it, but you knew we were paid. No labels or logos necessary, but our fly was obvious as fuck just from looking at us.