When We Found Home(71)

“More sponge painting?”

“No, just a different color. I can’t believe how long I lived here without doing anything to fix up the place. I guess I was never sure how things were going to turn out. Tim and I had always talked about using this place as a rental after we got married.”

A plan she hadn’t been comfortable with, she realized now. While she didn’t plan on living in her condo forever, she hadn’t wanted to move back to the old neighborhood.

“You’d have no trouble finding someone to rent this,” he said. “Great location, good floor plan and there’s parking.”

She smiled. “Parking is always a plus.”

“Callie and I were talking about our family home.” He put down his fork.

Delaney thought about the beautiful house. “Oh, no. You’re not going to sell it, are you? I know it’s big and it’s probably expensive to maintain, but it’s a wonderful house. Plus, Keira needs to know she has roots.” She winced. “I’m sorry. I’m doing all the talking. What did you two decide?”

“That it’s probably time for me to move out. Callie wants to live there with Keira, but I’m thinking I’m ready to be on my own again.”

She laughed. “It’s not like you’re living in the basement. You’ve stayed to be with your grandfather.”

“And because of Rachel.”

Yes, that, she thought, remembering what he’d told her. Those memories would have been an open wound for a long time. Whatever her problems with Tim, neither of them had cheated on the other.

He leaned toward her. “I’ve always been a cautious person. Keira would tell you I have a stick up my ass.”

She tried not to smile. “She does have a way with words.”

“She does and I love that about her. I want to do the right thing, whether it’s with business or the people in my life. Rachel’s betrayal has made it difficult for me to trust.”

“Rachel’s but not your father’s?”

“His actions surprised me less. I’ve dated some, but you’re the first person I’ve been involved with in a long time.”

“I can say the same about you. We’ve had a pretty drama-free relationship,” she told him. “That’s nice.”

“It is. So back to me moving out on my own, I’ve been looking at a couple of houses.”

“Want a woman’s opinion?” she asked, her voice teasing.

“I would because I’ve found something I really like. It’s an older place, built in the early 1900s. There’s a view of Lake Washington and a big backyard. Most of it has been remodeled and a big master suite was added on.” His gaze intensified.

“Delaney, I know it’s probably too soon, but I would very much like you to come see the house and let me know what you think. I want to know if it’s someplace you see yourself living.” One corner of his mouth turned up. “What I’m trying to say is I’m falling in love with you and I’m hoping we have a future together.”

They were words to warm any woman’s heart—any woman who wasn’t her, she thought as the walls seemed to close in on her. Yes, he was a terrific guy and he made her happy, but a house? Love? What was next—a proposal?

She wasn’t ready. She’d barely figured out she didn’t want to be a naturopath. She hadn’t made peace with the past enough to let it go, she didn’t know what she wanted to do, career wise. What if she found a great job in Atlanta or New York? Malcolm was tied to Seattle—he always would be. She didn’t know enough about herself to be able to decide if he was the right man to marry.

Her whole body went cold, as if she’d been plunged in icy water. Her chest tightened and she felt a pounding behind her eyes.

“No,” she said, coming to her feet. “No! I won’t be trapped again, not by anyone. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know my next step. I can’t, Malcolm. I just can’t. Not a house, not marriage, not any of it. I’m not ready to love anyone. I don’t even know what that is anymore. Did I love Tim? I was going to marry him and I just don’t know. Not who I am or where I belong or what I want. I don’t want to be trapped. I have to decide for myself and I just can’t do this now. I’m sorry.”

She pointed to the door. “I need you to go.”

For a second she saw the shock in his eyes, and the hurt, but then it was gone. Instead she stared at the polite expression of a stranger.

“Of course. I hope you’re feeling better soon. Good night.”

With that, he left. She stood where she was, her arms wrapped around her chest, her heart thundering so hard, she thought it might break against a rib.

Horror swept over her, causing her to sink back into her chair. What had she done? What had she lost by rejecting him? She held in a sob, telling herself she needed to be sure. This time she was going to be completely sure about who she was and what she wanted, no matter what. If she didn’t do that, she wouldn’t have learned anything at all.

* * *

Callie sat in the kitchen with Grandfather Alberto. Dinner was done and Keira had gone upstairs to start on her homework. For reasons that were totally confusing to Callie, the thirteen-year-old had asked to go to a math and science camp for the summer. Not just that, but there was homework and tests. When Callie had teased her about it, Keira had pointed out Callie was taking summer school at the community college, so they weren’t that different.

“Your granddaughters are strange,” she said as she smiled at her grandfather. “We’re both in school over the summer.”

“You make me proud.”

“Thank you. I’m excited to get my degree, then join the company. I think Malcolm and I will be a good team.” He would always have more experience than her, but she thought maybe she would bring a gut instinct to the job. Besides, thinking about that was way better than missing Santiago, which she still did. Every. Single. Day.

He hadn’t called, hadn’t texted. She’d thought she’d seen him at the warehouse yesterday when she’d confessed all to her coworkers, but by the time she’d finished, he’d been gone, so maybe she’d imagined the whole thing.

Love sucked, she thought, wishing she could forget him, or at least not miss him so much. She didn’t want to wish she’d never met him because being with him had been so much more than she’d ever imagined a relationship could be. She wanted to tell him that he was punishing her for something that wasn’t her fault, but what was the point? He already knew that. She could love him but she couldn’t make him love her back.

She looked at her grandfather. He was still healthy and vital but he didn’t have a lot of years left.

“Are you in love with Carmen?”

Grandfather Alberto sipped his brandy. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, but Keira says you two are an item. If that’s true, then you should marry her. Or at least tell us so you can stop sneaking around. No one is going to disapprove. We all love her and we love you. Actually you make a cute couple. You’ve been alone a long time. Having someone to love is pretty wonderful, Grandfather. Don’t miss out on a chance to experience that one last time.”

“I’m too old for her.”

“Oh, please. If that were the case, she wouldn’t still be with you.” She stood and kissed his cheek. “Just think about it.”

She passed Carmen as she walked out of the kitchen. With a little luck, at least someone would be happy in love, she thought wistfully.

She was halfway up the stairs when she heard the garage door open, then close. She turned and saw Malcolm crossing the foyer. She knew he’d been out with Delaney and it was barely eight. Why was he home—

She took one look at his drawn face and groaned. “No,” she said sympathetically. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He gave her a tight smile. “Seriously, I’m okay.”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“You were on a date and now you’re home early. Something happened.” She briefly hoped that it had been something as simple as a headache or unexpected rescheduling, but the tightness in her chest told her otherwise.

For a second she thought Malcolm was going to blow her off and tell her everything was fine. She sensed the battle within him, then the all-is-well facade shattered and she saw the anguish in his eyes.

“I told her I was falling in love with her and she said she didn’t want to be trapped.” One shoulder rose and lowered. “So much for a happily-ever-after ending.” He cleared his throat. “I was so sure she was the one. I started looking at houses.” He shook his head. “No. Not looking. I found one. A great house on the lake. It was perfect and now it will be perfect for someone else.”

She hurried down the stairs and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry, Malcolm. I thought you and Delaney were doing great.”

“So did I. We were both wrong.”

She knew about his past, how he’d always been so careful with his heart. He didn’t trust easily but once you were in, it was forever. Didn’t Delaney understand that? Didn’t she know what she’d given up by turning Malcolm away?