What's Done In the Dark(18)

I hoped that she was right, but I still needed to talk to someone else. I needed to call the only other person who understood my pain. I picked up the phone and called my best friend

Felise and I went way back. She was my ride or die. We drifted apart when we went to college, but our bond was never broken. The only time things got a little shaky with us was when I first started dating Steven. She seemed distant, like she was trying to avoid me. Some people would say I broke the girlfriend code by dating him, but she assured me that they were merely friends. I made it very clear that I wasn’t going to do anything without her blessing, and she gave it to me. I’d even fought my feelings for Steven in the beginning. But when Felise found her own happiness with Greg, what was holding me back?

Felise didn’t answer, and my heart sank. I needed to talk to her. So I dialed again. And again. She knew if I called back-to-back, it was an emergency.

I was grateful when she finally picked up the phone. “Hey, Felise, I’m sorry to be blowing up your phone, but I need to talk to you.”

She hesitated, then said, “You want to talk to Tahiry? Her and Liz are upstairs turning flips.”

I didn’t know why she would say that. If I wanted to talk to my daughter, I would’ve called her cell phone. “No. I need to talk to you.”

She still sounded brittle as she said, “What’s going on?”

I opened my mouth to talk, and a sob came out instead. When I recovered from the outburst, I said, “I think I really messed up this time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and Steven had a huge fight. He hasn’t come home since. I haven’t even heard from him,” I said.

“What do you mean, you haven’t heard from him?” she asked.

“He didn’t come home last night or all day today, and you know that’s not like him. The fight was really bad.”

“Maybe he’s somewhere trying to cool off.”

“Do you think he left me?” I asked pointedly.

“Wh-why would you say that?” she replied.

“Because I asked him for a divorce.”

“A divorce? Why would you ask him for a divorce?”

She was sounding too cool, like she already knew all about it. But I didn’t have time to decipher her demeanor. I was in the middle of a crisis. “I know it’s crazy. I was just frustrated and upset. I don’t want a divorce. I love my husband.”

Felise continued to sound distant as she said, “Well, I’m sure everything is fine. He’ll probably be home in a little bit.”

Even she didn’t sound like she believed that. “You know this is completely unlike him,” I continued. “Even when he’s mad, he still comes home. I think I might have gone too far this time. What if he’s with a divorce attorney right now?”

“Don’t be silly,” she replied. “It’s ten-thirty at night. He’s not with a divorce attorney. And no, you didn’t go too far. I mean, he’s probably— He’s probably somewhere, you know, just cooling off.”

I shook my head, desperation setting in. “His phone is going straight to voice mail, and he didn’t even call to check on the kids. He’s gone. My gut is telling me he left me.”

“Come on, don’t think like that,” Felise said. I could tell my best friend was trying to pacify me, prepare me for the worst, because she sounded like she knew that I’d finally pushed Steven over the edge. She’d been trying to tell me to ease up on him, and I wouldn’t listen.

“Everyone has fights,” Felise continued in a flat monotone. “You guys, umm, you are gonna be fine.”

She didn’t sound like she believed that. And now neither did I.





11


Felise


I TOOK A DEEP BREATH as I dropped my cell phone down on the kitchen table. Keep it together, I said, repeating what I’d been telling myself all day. I’d been doing okay until now. That phone call from Paula had shaken me to my core. I’d tried to ignore her calls, but she was relentless, and I knew if I didn’t answer, she’d get in her car and head over to my house. No way could I see her face-to-face. When Greg had returned from his coffee run this morning and he had Tahiry by his side, I thought I would pass out from guilt. I couldn’t look my godchild in the eye. No way would I be able to face her mother. Greg had tried to talk to me about last night, but I was saved by a call from my supervisor. Two nurses had called in sick, and she asked me to cover their shifts. I changed into my scrubs and was out the door so fast I could have been running in the Olympics.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I came in the living room and saw it was empty. Greg’s car was in the driveway, but maybe he was asleep. Yet as soon as I felt myself try to relax, I heard his voice behind me.