What's Done In the Dark(17)

“Mavis!” Fran exclaimed.

Mavis quickly apologized. But she was right. That’s exactly where I’d be if Greg ever found out.





10


Paula


I’D FINALLY GONE TOO FAR. In all our years of marriage, Steven had never gotten so mad that he’d stayed out all night, let alone all the next day. But as I rolled over and saw my husband’s untouched side of the bed, I realized that’s exactly what had happened.

After spending the day with the kids, I’m come into my room to lie down, hoping Steven’s warm body would wake me up as he eased into bed next to me. He’d apologize. I’d apologize. Then I’d show my husband how much I really loved him.

I threw back the covers and stood up. It was almost ten p.m. I couldn’t believe I’d been asleep all evening. I eased downstairs, hoping that Steven had come in and didn’t want to wake me. But to my dismay, the living room was empty, the space where he normally dropped his keys was clear, and when I opened the garage door, my heart sank when I realized that his car still was AWOL.

I fell back against the wall in the hallway. I couldn’t take the suspense anymore. I had the strangest feeling in my gut that I had truly messed up this time, and I didn’t know how to make it right.

I said a small prayer for God to deliver my husband home. I’d adopt a new attitude permanently. My mom was right. I had been such a jerk, and the blowup I had was completely uncalled for.

I was just about to pick up the phone to call him again when my mom appeared in the kitchen entryway.

“Oh, hey, Mom,” I said dejectedly. “What’s going on?”

“Heard some movement in here and came to see what was going on, since I knew the kids weren’t here.”

“Where are the kids?” I asked.

“Tahiry went over Liz’s so they can practice for their cheer competition. Rodney came and got the boys and took them to a movie,” she said, referring to Steven’s cousin, who often took the kids. “I figured it was okay and a way to get them out the house. He’ll bring them back early in the morning on his way to work. And Tahiry will be back whenever you go get her.”

I nodded, grateful for her making the arrangements.

“Are you okay? Is Steven home yet?” my mom asked.

I fell down in one of the seats at the kitchen table. “Mama, I really messed up,” I cried. “Steven has never stayed away this long.”

“Maybe he was really upset. I mean, the threat of divorce is pretty major.”

“But I didn’t mean that. I was just angry,” I confessed. “I was having a serious I-hate-my-life-moment and thinking things would be better without him.”

My mom patted my hand sympathetically. “Yeah, that’s usually the way things work. Everyone always thinks the grass is greener on the other side. But it’s not. You got a good man, honey, and you have to realize that before it’s too late.”

“Steven wouldn’t go anywhere, would he?” I don’t know why, but I no longer believed that.

“Baby, a man can take only so much. When he doesn’t feel loved in his own home, it’s just a matter of time before he seeks love somewhere else.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

My mom was quiet for a minute, then gently said, “Well, I was talking to this lady at bingo and I think you’re suffering from postpartum depression.”

I cocked my head at this unexpected remark. “Really, Mom?”

“Yes, really. I mean, you were unhappy before, but it seemed to go to a whole different level after the twins were born.”

That reminded me all over again of my fight with Steven. “I know, Mama. I love them, I really do, but I can’t shake this.” Postpartum depression? I had never thought about that. But it would definitely explain my mood swings.

“You gotta find a way to shake it,” my mom said. “Maybe even see someone professionally. Or go to your primary care doctor. I’m sure they got some pills for it.” She turned her attention to a picture of our family, which was displayed prominently on our refrigerator. “And explain it to your husband. I’m sure he’ll understand and even help you through this.”

I nodded, praying that she was right.

“Just get some rest. I’m sure you’re still tired, so go lay back down. That was a pretty heated argument, so just give Steven a minute. You got a good man. He’s not going anywhere. You asked the man for a divorce. Maybe he just wants to make you sweat. I’m positive he’ll be home tonight.” My mom kissed my forehead before walking out the room.