Wanting to Remember,Trying to Forget(44)
“I love you,” he whispered, brushing his lips against hers. The words had been trapped inside him for so long that once he said it, he couldn’t stop saying it. “I love you…I love you…I love you so much.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her hands in his hair as she pulled him closer. “I love you, too.”
Hearing those words leave her lips broke him, destroyed the little remnants he had left, and yet at the same time it doused the blazing rage and brought him back to one piece.
* * *
Danny sat on her bed, listening to the ceaseless attack of the rain and wind outside her window. The violent storm inside their apartment had passed just a few minutes ago. She hadn’t had a shower, hadn’t taken off her damp clothes yet. She wanted to keep his scent on her for a little while longer, keep those words floating in her head.
She was scared to wash away any evidence of what had happened between them and yet it would take more than a simple shower to rinse off her swollen lips, the slight bruises on her wrists and thighs.
She had been waiting for him to say it and he had been waiting for her to see it. And now she did. The love he felt for her was more than she had ever thought possible. There was no denying it and now she felt silly for doubting him in the first place.
She heard a light knock on her door before Max walked in and sat beside her on the bed. His brown eyes studied her, glancing over all the marks he had left on her body. He had battle scars, too. Red streaks down his back from her nails, love bites on his neck and shoulder.
“I wish I could say I’m sorry,” he said softly, “but I’m not…I’m not sorry for what happened.”
“I am. I’m sorry for accusing you and letting my imagination run wild. I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t talk, just listen. Sofia and I dated for a little over a month and I liked her. I really liked her, but I kept comparing her to you. She wasn’t as feisty and she didn’t challenge me and my heart kept coming back to you. Eventually, things like that come to the surface…and she saw it. She saw what you refused to see until today.” He ran both hands through his hair and clasped them together at the back of his head. “I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, Danny. There isn’t anyone else. It’s only you. It’s only ever been you.”
She understood his desperation now. Wanting to be more than friends was something he had wanted even before she was ready for this relationship, but she didn’t understand his anger. Every ferocious kiss had only conveyed rage and resentment. She had been right about her playing a part in it, but she still did not know exactly what that part was.
“Why are you so angry?” she asked. “What did I do to make you so angry?”
He cast his eyes to the floor, thinking long and hard about his response before he looked up at her again. “It doesn’t matter now.” He pushed her back against the bed and rolled on top of her. “Nothing else matters now.”
That answer was not good enough and she decided to press further. “Max…what happened in that bathroom?”
“I gave you me,” he whispered, dipping his head closer to her, “and you gave me you and that’s all that matters. I’m not letting you go now.”
He silenced her with a kiss and stopped any further talking because in his mind, the conversation was already over.
November
November, tenth. It was Kevin’s twenty-first birthday today and Max had put off calling him the entire day. He rarely procrastinated, but Kevin was still mourning and Max did not want to say happy birthday to his brother when he knew this day would be anything but happy. It was his first birthday in fifteen years without Perry and Max didn’t know if the phone call would make him feel better or worse.
He had called his mother earlier and she told him that Kevin had taken off a few days ago. He’d said nothing about where he was going or when he was coming back, but his brother leaving home was an indication that he wanted to be alone and this made Max second-guess giving him a call. Instead, he decided to text Jordan.
Max: Have you called Kevin yet?
Jordan: Nope. Not sure what to say to him
Max: Pansy!
Jordan: Ah, the pot and the kettle. Which one are you?
Max: The pot. I think you should call him first.
Jordan: NO WAY! I went into the room so now it’s your turn.
Max groaned his frustration, knowing that even a text version of rock, paper, scissors would not convince Jordan.
“He’s your brother, Max,” Danny said from behind him. “You’ve been toying with your phone all day so just bite the bullet and call him.”
Still feeling wary, Max scrolled down his contact list to Kevin’s number. It rang twice before he answered.
“Hey, Max.”
The light tone was not what he had been expecting to hear. “Hey, Kev. Happy birthday.”
“Thanks.”
“Mom says you’re not at home.”
There was a slight pause before he responded. “Yeah…I…uh…there’s something I need to do…for Perry.”
Max didn’t ask what the something was. It was obviously personal. Instead he kept the conversation general. “So where are you?”
“I’m…hang on…”
Max heard shuffling and then the opening and closing of a door before Kevin’s voice came over the line again.
“I just had to get out of there. It’s the only way I can get some privacy.”
“Where are you?” Max asked again.
“In the middle of nowhere,” his brother shouted with exasperation, “stuck on this road trip with a girl who is literally fucking bat-shit crazy!”
“You have a low tolerance for people. I’m sure she’s not that bad.”
“Psycho is definitely bad. She’s like Shane. She doesn’t stop talking. Fucking Virgos!”
Max laughed. Even though they all hated it, their mother’s obsession with star signs had filtered down to all of them.
“Her mouth runs on a motor,” Kevin continued, “just on and on and on. I can’t stand her! She’s driving me fucking insane. I’m ready to strangle myself.”
Kevin did not talk much but when he did, he cursed…a lot. Although his words were harsh, his tone was still light and Max couldn’t help but wonder if this bat-shit crazy girl was the right kind of distraction for his little brother. Kevin’s hurt was clearly overshadowed by his annoyance. The boy who hated talking was now stuck with a girl who didn’t shut up and maybe that was exactly what he needed.
“So she took us on a like…a hundred thousand mile detour,” Kevin complained, “and instead of this trip taking a few days, it’s gonna take weeks. Weeks, Max! Fucking weeks alone with this girl, day in and day out. I won’t survive—”
Max heard the door open and close again.
“Hang on a second, Max.”
“Sure.”
“Jazz, where are you going?” he heard his brother say.
“To the store,” a girl responded with a weird accent.
“You can’t walk alone at night. I’ll come with you.”
“Kevin, it’s just across the parking lot. You can watch me walk there from here. Besides, black belt in tae-kwon-do, remember? Anyone comes at me and I turn into a swirling storm of death. Kick, quick jab and—”
“Yeah. Yeah,” Kevin said, brushing her off. “I get it. Go on with your bad self.” There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke again. “See what I mean, Max? Fucking bat-shit crazy!”
Max chuckled. He hadn’t heard Kevin talk so much in a long while and it was refreshing. “You’re gonna stand outside until she gets back, aren’t you?” Max asked.
“Yep.”
“For someone who can’t stand her, you sure are protective.”
“Shut up, Max! She’s not street-smart, alright? Black belt, my ass. Give her waffles and ice-cream and even aliens could abduct her without much of a fight.”
“Whatever you say, Kev. Enjoy the rest of your birthday.”
Kevin exhaled an exaggerated breath on the other end. “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks again for the call.”
And with that, Max hung up the phone and texted Jordan.
Max: You can call him. He seems to be doing okay.
Jordan: Cool. Gonna call him now.
He pushed his phone into his pocket and smiled to himself. Kevin had not sounded happy, but he had not sounded sad either and Max concluded that this road trip might be the best thing to help his little brother move on after Perry’s death.
* * *
“That was a day well-spent,” Amber said as they walked out of Madame Fouche’s Day Spa.
“I agree,” Lauren said from behind them. “And, Danielle, I know that you are busy now, but please do not let another two months go by before you contact us again.”
Danny knew Lauren was merely teasing, but she still felt a jab of guilt. They had always made time for her when she did not have a job and yet she had been so overwhelmed with projects and events for the last few weeks that she had not even bothered to pick up the phone.
“I’m sorry, Lauren. I’m still finding my feet and learning how to balance—”
“Do not apologize, dear. I understand completely.”