Walk Of Shame(55)
“I don’t know,” she whispers. “I’m scared. I can’t handle being crushed by you. It will only fucking destroy me, Slade.”
“I am too. Trust me. This feeling is new to me. You’ve done something to me and I can’t stop fucking thinking about you. You’ve fucking ruined me. I’m not giving you up so easily.”
Her lips part and it takes everything in me to not press my lips against them again and make her mine. I want her so bad, but I want her to want me just as much. I can’t force her to want me this time. It will never work that way.
“You really can’t stop thinking about me?” I nod my head and run my thumb over her lip. “What about all the other women, Slade? I can’t be with a man like that again. I just can’t.” She looks around the room at the group of women watching us. She looks upset by them and a bit jealous. I don’t like that look on her. “I didn't mean for my presence to distract you from your job. I just wanted to let you know you'd be seeing me around more. I didn’t come looking for this."
I cup her face in my hands and step closer to her to show her I don’t give a fuck about those women. “I haven’t been with any other women since you. The closest I got to having sex with a woman was before you left and I was still being a horny, heartless dick. I was confused and not ready for change. I won’t lie to you about that. I’ll never lie to you. I haven’t had sex or have even wanted to since you fucking left me that night. That’s a big fucking deal for me.”
A tear falls down her cheek, but she tries to hide it before I can see it. She’s too late. I catch her face and rub the tear away with my thumb. She seems a bit surprised and torn. I don’t blame her. I was a major dick and I don’t deserve her trust. “I don’t understand why, Slade. You can have anyone that you want. I do mean anyone and everyone.”
“But I want you. I know I’ve been an asshole and I’m sorry. I don’t even know how I let things go so far and let myself become an asshole . . . but when you fall it happens all too fast.” I step closer to her so that my lips are brushing hers. “All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance. We can take things slow. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I can’t stop thinking about you, Aspen. No one has been able to make me feel the way you do. No one has been able to make me feel at all.”
She tilts her head up and rubs her lips against mine, but doesn’t kiss me. “I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“How do you feel about me?” I tilt her face up so she can look me in the eyes. The eyes always give the heart away. “Tell me how you feel. I don’t want a bullshit answer this time. I’m standing here in front of everyone asking you if you feel the same way I do. Tell me the truth.”
Her eyes search mine and I can see her walls break down a bit. She cares for me, but just how much? Is it enough? I can only hope. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew then that I wouldn’t be able to forget you. I was right. I was hoping that I’d be able to go the whole week and force myself to hate you. It didn’t happen. Every day, I fell further for you.” She reaches up and wraps her hands in my hair and gently tugs on it. “Then you opened up to me and I fell even more. It was unstoppable and I knew I was screwed in the best way possible. I wanted to know more. I wanted to help ease your pain. I wanted to cure you.”
I pull her face to mine and suck in her bottom lip before releasing it. “You did fucking cure me. Now give me a chance to cure you. If I fuck up you can punish me.” I smirk and she lightly taps my cheek. “I mean it.”
Her eyes search mine for a second and I leave them open for her. I want her to read them; to see how I truly feel and that I meant every word that I said. “We’ll take things slow,” she asks. “At my pace?”
“At your pace.” I smile as I bite her lip and press my body against hers. “Except for in the bedroom.”
She laughs and again, it’s the most beautiful sound in the fucking world. Especially when it’s because of me. I never want to forget that sound. “I think I can handle that,” she whispers. “Just don’t hurt me, please. I can’t handle it.”
“I won’t do that. If I hurt you I will only be hurting myself more.” I gently suck her bottom lip into my mouth before kissing her. She kisses me back with a desperation that says she’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her before pulling away and placing her forehead to mine.