Walk Of Shame(52)

Fucking Slade. Why can’t I stop thinking about him?

I stop and look around as if I expect Slade to just pull up on his bike, jump off and kiss me; save me from this possible mistake. The thought gives me the ultimate rush like it did when he kissed me in the bar with the assumption that guy was trying to pick me up. I loved that. It made me feel sexy and wanted. Something I’ve never really felt with Jay.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Come on,” he says while looking down at his phone impatiently. “I have to be to work early and it’s a long drive.”

I let out a soft breath and struggle with tossing my suitcase into the back. He doesn’t even notice. He’s too busy on his damn phone. I really feel a lot of hate for him right now; enough to almost stay.

I get ready to say something, but he looks up and smiles. It’s the sweet smile that I fell in love with. “Missed you, gorgeous.”

I feel a little bit of my anger fade, but not enough. “I missed you too,” I say while shutting the trunk and walking over to get inside the car. I feel like shit because to be honest with myself, I don’t mean it; not one bit of me.

I just hope I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life





Two weeks later . . .

IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE Aspen left and I still feel like the biggest ass for not fighting harder for her to stay. The one thing that made my life worth a shit I let slip through my fingers. I couldn’t even face her. Instead, I left. I couldn’t stand to stick around while she packed her shit to leave. I fucking left and rode for hours just thinking back on my life and all the fucked up things I have done over the past couple of years. It took her for me to realize that I’m not proud of what I’ve become; not one fucking bit. In the end I may not have her, but she has helped me in more ways than she knows and I will always be thankful for that.

I owe her a lot for finally waking me up and I still think about taking my ass to Rockford and showing her how much I have changed, but I know it would be pointless. She made up her mind. I don’t blame her for not wanting to give her heart to an asshole like me. I meant what I said when I told her she deserves better than me. We both knew that. That’s why she left. She did what she had to do to protect her heart. She could probably see that things would turn out disastrous. She chose to stay far away from me; choosing to walk away when I couldn’t.

It’s a Friday night at Walk of Shame and I’m working the bar with Sarah. Hemy and Cale are working on training some new kid, Stone, or some shit. The kid looks like he’s having a fucking blast; probably fresh out of school and dying to get his unexperienced cock wet. He’s like the old version of me: dark, dirty and out for a good fuck. Well, this kid is in for the ride of his life here.

“You okay, Slade?”

I lean against the bar next to Sarah and nudge her with my shoulder. “Don’t I look it,” I ask teasingly. “You’ve been asking me that practically every fucking day. You’re starting to sound like a damn broken record.”

She lets out a little laugh and squeezes my arm. “It’s fucking weird,” she says.

“What?”

“Not having you out there. How am I supposed to get used to this shit? You not taking down every woman in your path or slamming back shots and getting naked. It’s a big fucking change. Are you sure you’re okay? Have you talked to-”

“Don’t even bring her up, Sarah.” I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. “I’m cool, okay. It’s just going to take a little while to get used to the changes. You can’t expect me to do this forever. I just need a change of scenery.”

She nods as I walk away to help a young woman waving me over with a flirtatious smile. She’s beautiful; long brown hair, big blue eyes and a body you just want to taste and fuck. You would think she would be enough to tempt me back into my old ways, but no. Surprisingly, she does nothing for me. I’m not sure how the fuck to feel about that. All I know . . . is that I’m feeling for the first time in years. It’s a scary feeling, but I think I’m going to go along for the ride; I have to.

“What can I get you,” I ask while leaning over the bar.

The brunette looks at me long and hard while eyeing me up and down. She almost looks as if she’s ready to strip down right here and jump my shit. She’s desperate and it’s actually turning me off. I kind of liked having to work for it.

“Whatever you’re willing to give.” She smiles before leaning in and running her tongue over her lips. “You’re Slade, right? I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”