Waiting for You(52)
Jake was standing at the stove, cooking an omelet and whistling. He seemed so much at home that she felt a little disoriented, like she’d accidentally walked into someone else’s life.
“Hi,” she said, a little hesitantly, and Jake turned and gave her a quick grin.
“Hey. Go ahead and have a seat—breakfast will be ready in two minutes.”
Erin sat down at her small kitchen table, which Jake had set with her Fiestaware dishes. There was a pot of coffee along with cream and sugar, and she poured herself a cup while she watched Jake butter toast to go with the omelet.
Something was different about him. After a while, she realized what it was.
She was seeing the old Jake again.
He wasn’t exactly the same, of course. He’d never be exactly the same. A man who’d been through a decade of war would always carry the weight of that experience. But the way he held himself now…it was as if he’d found a way to bear the load without turning himself into stone.
“What happened to you in Texas?” she blurted out, as he dished up the omelets and set one in front of her.
He sat down, too, looking at her with one eyebrow up. “What do you mean?”
“You seem…different. Lighter, somehow.”
He seemed to think about that as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “Yeah, I guess that’s one way to describe it.” He paused, looking at her. “I saw a therapist while I was down there. I’ll be seeing someone up here, too. Erin, I have…” He hesitated again. “I have post traumatic stress disorder. I don’t know if you—”
“I know what it is.”
He nodded. “My symptoms aren’t as bad as what a lot of people go through, but…that’s why I woke up the way I did, the night I was here.”
“I know. I mean…I thought that might be the reason.”
There was a flash of remembered pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. But after what happened, I figured it was time I did something about it. So I did.”
Her heart swelled. Going through her pregnancy alone had been a small price to pay for this.
“Jake, I’m so glad. Don’t you see why I didn’t want to tell you about the baby? If you’d come home, you wouldn’t have—”
He shook his head. “Nice try, but no. If you’d told me you were pregnant, I would have come home, yeah. But do you think that would have stopped me from getting treatment? Knowing about the baby would have been even more motivation.”
She bit her lip. “Okay, I made a bad decision. But I really did think I was doing the right thing.”
He took a bite of omelet before answering. “I know you did. Just like I thought I was doing the right thing by not calling you. Both of us were wrong, so what do you say we forget about the past and move forward?”
She felt tears coming and fought to hold them back. She couldn’t get emotional like this in front of him—she just couldn’t. She didn’t want the new phase of their lives to start with her sobbing like a fool. He’d think he had to take care of her and that was the last thing she wanted.
The first drop fell, and then the second. “Damn.” She knuckled away the tears. “Don’t pay attention to this, okay? It’s my stupid hormones.” She cleared her throat. “I think that’s a good idea. About us moving forward.”
He nodded. “Okay. Good. Then all we have to do is work everything else out, right? Should be a piece of cake.”
He grinned at her, and she managed to smile back.
“We’re in this together, Erin. Like it or not.”
As Erin ate her omelet, which was stuffed with mushrooms and peppers and was the most delicious thing she’d eaten in days, she was already afraid she would like it too much.
“I’ll get the dishes,” she said when they’d both finished.
Jake frowned at her as he rose to his feet, taking her empty plate from her hands. “Are you kidding? One of the things I get to do for the next few months is wait on you. So get used to it.”
His words sent a pulse of anxiety through her. “I don’t want any special treatment just because I’m pregnant. I can take care of myself.”
Her voice trembled a little, and for a minute Jake didn’t say anything. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. “I know you can.”
His gaze moved to her belly and then back to her face. “But I missed out on six months of giving you special treatment. And I’m planning to make up for lost time.”
Her heart beat painfully in her chest. The father of her baby was telling her things that any pregnant woman would dream of hearing. A part of her wanted to forget everything she’d just said, and throw herself into his arms.