Waiting for You(18)

She spoke without thinking. “A kiss.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished she could call them back. Jake was staring at her, and she felt herself flush from head to toe.

“It’s because of that saying,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. “You know—sweet sixteen and never been kissed. I was hoping it wouldn’t be true by the end of the party.”

He looked at her for another moment before glancing out the window. “I think you’re in luck. I bet any one of the boys out there would be happy to kiss you.”

She followed his gaze out the window, hoping he couldn’t tell how disappointed she was. Which was stupid, of course, but then she’d never been very smart when it came to Jake Landry.

“It’s a great party,” was all she said, going over to the cupboard where the chips were. “Your parents were so nice to do this. I know it was a lot of work.”

“Mom doesn’t think of this as work. Here, let me get that for you,” he added as she tried unsuccessfully to reach a bag of pretzels on a high shelf.

He came up behind her, reaching over her head, and his chest brushed against her back.

Erin froze. As if he sensed her sudden stillness, Jake froze, too.

For a moment they stayed like that. Erin was acutely aware of Jake’s strong body behind her, and the sound of his breathing. She was aware of her own breath, and the sudden thunder of her heartbeat. She started to turn, slowly, expecting him to back away any second.

But he didn’t. And then they were face to face, and she was staring up at him with less than an inch of space between their bodies.

He smelled so good, like he’d just come back from a motorcycle ride. Like wind and leather and clean male skin. When he gripped the counter on either side of her, her heart beat so frantically she thought it might fly out of her chest.

She couldn’t look away from his blue eyes. She’d dreamed about having all that intensity focused on her, and now that it was happening, she could hardly breathe.

She watched his pupils dilate until the blue was almost swallowed up in black. Then he dipped his head and kissed her.

At the feel of his mouth a shiver started deep inside her. His lips were so much softer than she’d imagined…

She slid her arms around his neck, wanting to get closer, and when his chest pressed against hers something liquid and warm made her whole body melt.

His hands went to her waist. Her shirt had ridden up, and his thumbs moved over her bare skin. A thrill of excitement stabbed through her.

Then she heard voices in the front hall.

Jake jerked away from her. He was breathing hard, and staring at her like he wasn’t sure what had just happened. The voices came closer, and they both looked towards the doorway to the hall. Whoever it was would be in here any second.

She glanced back at Jake and their eyes met. Whatever she’d hoped to find in his expression, it wasn’t the guilt and confusion she saw there.

Her body was trembling, and she knew she couldn’t face anyone. The feelings spiraling through her were too intense. She turned and fled through the other doorway, the one that led to the back stairs. She hid out in Allison’s room for a while until she felt calm enough to come down again.

When she went outside to join the party, she saw that Jake’s motorcycle was gone from the driveway.

They never spoke about the kiss. Jake avoided being alone with her the rest of his leave, and she didn’t seek him out. She wasn’t sure what to say, and it was obvious he didn’t want to talk about what had happened. After a few days it seemed natural to act like it never had.

A week later he went back to Fort Benning. Then 9/11 happened, and not long after, Jake left for Afghanistan on his first tour of duty.

He came home on leave every couple of years, but Erin never saw him during those visits. She didn’t feel comfortable inserting herself into what had to be precious family time…and if he wanted to see her, Irene or Allison could tell him how to find her. She still lived in town, after all.

But he never called or stopped by, and it wasn’t long before she stopped expecting it. She still prayed for his safety, and she never saw a news story about Afghanistan or Iraq without thinking of him. But the night of Allison’s wedding was the first time she’d seen him in eleven years.

“Don’t you agree?”

She blinked up at Evan. “What?”

She’d been so distracted by thoughts of Jake that she’d completely forgotten to pay attention to the man sitting across from her.

Which was the reason she’d said yes to this lunch date. Because she didn’t want to be distracted by Jake anymore. She wanted to erase him from her thoughts, her memories, her dreams—every corner of her brain.