Virgin(76)
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I . . . I didn’t mean for . . .”
“Lara, stop,” I interrupted. “Everything’s fine. We’re fine, I’m here, you don’t need to apologize. Cry as much as you want. And when you’re ready, explain what’s wrong and I’ll be here for you.”
She smiled at me gratefully and I squeezed her tight. “Ow,” she gasped. “Stop squeezing so hard.”
I laughed, and she joined in between her sobs. “Oh God, Ellie,” she breathed out. “Everything is officially shit.”
“What’s wrong, Lar?”
She sighed and started fiddling with her hair, which she always did when she was nervous. “My dad left my mum over a month ago. I found out about it a few days after we, I . . . after we went out that night to Mahiki. He’s sleeping with some skank. It’s so sodding typical. I don’t know if I hate him more for that, or for being a total cliché. Anyway, Mum’s freaking out. We can’t live here anymore so we’re going to move somewhere but we don’t know where, and we don’t know if we’re going to rent or . . . I’m so confused and it’s so complicated.”
“Oh my God. I’m so, so sorry, Lara. I can’t believe it. I’m so . . . shocked, and disappointed with your dad. How can he do that to you and your mum?” I asked.
“I know,” she said simply. “I can’t figure it out either. It’s too surreal.”
I hugged her again. “It’s going to be okay, babe. I know it is. You have your mum and she’s amazing.”
“I know,” she said. “But even though she obviously earns a fair bit as a barrister, it’s not enough for us to live here. Especially because she was the breadwinner so they have to split money in the divorce and it’s so messy. I think she also doesn’t want to live here anymore because of the memories . . .”
“I get it,” I said softly. “Is there a plan?”
“Meh . . . there are some options. We either rent somewhere in London, or go and stay with Aunt Charlotte and have some kind of girls’ pad, but I don’t know if I can handle the thought of living with my newly single mum and her single sister in Hertfordshire.”
“Oh my God,” I cried suddenly. “Why doesn’t your mum go and live with Aunt Charlotte—they’re like best friends anyway and she probably needs her sister right now—and you come and live with me?”
“Ellie . . . I can’t,” she said quietly. “I need a home. I can’t just crash with your parents, or with you in Camden, or . . . I don’t know.”
“Okay,” I said, disappointed that I couldn’t fix everything. “You’re right; it was a silly idea. But you’re always welcome, you know. I mean, I know you’re at Oxford during term anyway, and we only have a couple of months left, so this summer you could stay with me in Camden. We could have one last summer in London together before my lease runs out. Then by the end of summer, maybe your mum will have somewhere sorted.”
She looked up. “I . . . I mean, maybe that could work. I was dreading a summer in Hertfordshire. But, Ellie, I’ve been a shit friend.”
“Lara,” I said, putting my hand up in the air as a signal for her to shut up. “You’ve been going through so much and I haven’t been here for you at all. I’m a way shittier friend than you. Your life is falling apart, and I’ve been so selfish . . .”
She slapped my arm, smiling at me through her tears. “Jeez, stop telling me how crap my life is.”
I smiled sheepishly. “Sorry . . . Honestly, though, Lara. Even though we were going through all that weird stuff post-Mahiki, why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I was jealous,” she whispered. “You always pick yourself up whenever bad or awkward stuff happens to you—which is like all the time—and you’re really strong. And I felt really weak and lame and I couldn’t tell you.”
My eyes welled up. “You’re an idiot,” I said, wiping away tears. “I’m a bloody mess.”
She shot me a smile. “I can tell. But seriously, back when your parents divorced, you were so calm about it. You never cried, and you didn’t make a big thing about it like I am now.”
“Lara, our situations are totally different,” I cried. “I grew up in a dysfunctional home with my parents constantly arguing. They were so shit together it was a relief when my dad left. Your family is different. Your parents seemed genuinely happy together and your dad leaving has changed everything. It’s normal for you to be sad—it would be fucking weird if you weren’t.”