Velvet Kisses(58)
“You and that silly journal.” I bury my face in my hands a moment. “Look, I’m not saying sunshine is a bad thing, but let’s not confuse a ray of light with something as asinine as love. The next thing you’ll be telling me is he’s the reason unicorns shoot rainbows out of their ass.”
“Unicorns poop butterflies,” Baya asserts. “Everybody knows that.”
Izzy waves her off. “Just admit it, Marley. Wyatt makes you happy. Happiness equals feelings. There’s a reason the words I think I’m in love just sprang from your lips. You’re already aware you feel this way. I don’t see the point in denying it.”
“No, no, no.” I hold up a hand like I’m about to stop a freight train. “I do not have feelings for him. Well, maybe as a friend. But the L word just isn’t for me.”
Izzy’s eyes widen. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Her head cocks to the side as she offers an incredulous stare. Izzy has always been my biggest supporter—case in point when I’m defying Jemma. My sister isn’t exactly the best authority figure, and with my mother gone so much when I was a kid, Jemma was the next unfortunate authority figure in line. It’s a wonder I don’t have a brood of ankle biters of my own by now. Sometimes you just have to buck the mold.
“Love is for people like you.” I’m quick to state. “Honestly, I think when it boils right down to it, the three of you are freaks. People don’t fall in love and stay that way.” My gaze drifts to the window as a stiletto-sized lump gets caught in my throat.
“People cheat. Some people never fall in love at all, they simply go through the motions—say those three magic words and hope the rest falls in line.”
And that was my relationship with Will in a nutshell. For the first time ever, I think I finally admitted to myself that I never really loved Will. I thought I did. But with Wyatt, something feels different, safer, far more solid than anything I had with Will—and that relationship lasted a small eternity. Was I just caught up in some vortex of complacency? God, what if I had married him, and we stayed that unhappy way forever? I would have never known Wyatt. I would have never tasted and seen how good he was—never known the high a man could bring me to just with his devilish smile alone. The thought of missing out on a man like Wyatt James—Wyatt James in particular, makes my stomach sour.
My phone buzzes, and I fish it out with a nervous fervor as if I were expecting news on a transplant—heart transplant apparently.
“It’s just Jemma,” I say out loud for no reason, and the three of them break into a cacophony of laughter. I wished it were Wyatt, and they all know it. I’m as transparent as glass, and I hate it.
Meet me at the Black Bear at 6. I’ll have the paperwork with me. Gotta get this shit done. TY!
This shit is code for government dole out forms. I make a face at the text. Only Jemma would want to fill out an application for food stamps while sitting in a bar with a ten-dollar drink in her hand. Go figure.
“Anyway, I’ll be seeing Wyatt this afternoon,” I offer as a disclaimer to the Nosey Nellies who think they know my heart better than I do.
Baya holds up a finger as she knocks back the remainder of her coffee. “Don’t forget we have class today—our proposal and our first look is due. It’s the big critique.” She gives an apologetic shrug. “Plus, I think we’re supposed to go over figures with Will. He mentioned something about stats, and my brain shut off.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a natural response. Most people would rather go catatonic than listen to what he has to say.” I check my phone as if I were waiting for a proposal. This is ridiculous. I don’t ever remember feeling so desperate, so inebriated by a text from Will. Just what kind of power does Wyatt have over me anyway? “And, don’t worry, I’ll be there.” For the first five minutes. If Will wants to drone on, he’ll have to do it sans my presence. I think I’m developing a very real allergy to his person. And to think I ever let him slip his tiny member into my body—in my mouth! Blah! Just the thought makes me want to gargle with acid. Besides, I have other things, people, to do—namely Wyatt.
I glance deep into my purse and spot the navy velvet cuffs. A naughty grin begs to break free, but I won’t let it. I’ve been meaning to dust off the velvet hardware for a while now. What better time than the present? And Wyatt James in cuffs will be quite the present. A private smile rides on my lips at the thought.
“What are you grinning at over there?” Izzy tries to peer into my purse, but I quickly pull it to my chest.