Storm and Fury(57)

“Anyway, I like staring up at them.” I lifted a shoulder in a shrug that caused my back to ache a little. “Kind of stupid, I know.”

“It’s not,” he replied. “It’s familiar.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever lie under them again.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I nodded. “Sure?”

“What happened with your mother exactly?” he asked. “I hate to bring it up and I felt like shit for doing so when we were at Roth and Layla’s place, but you said that this Warden thought you were...”

“An abomination?” I supplied for him, sighing. I didn’t talk about my mom a lot, because it always ended with me wondering why I’d never seen her ghost or spirit, but I wanted to talk to Zayne about her. Maybe because he hadn’t known me when it happened, and that made opening up easier? Or maybe because, unlike Jada or Ty, he knew what it felt like to lose a parent? I wasn’t sure. “My mom was trained. Did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.”

A small smile pulled at my lips. “She wanted to be trained just in case something happened. She was strong like that, didn’t want anyone to take care of her while she sat around like a frail flower.”

“Sounds an awful lot like her daughter.”

That made my smile grow. “That’s a compliment.”

“I would hope so. Who trained her?”

“Thierry and Matthew. They...they loved her,” I said, rolling onto my side, facing Zayne. “And I think... I think they still mourn her death as much as I do.” I drew in a shallow breath. “Ryker was a Warden my mom trusted, as did Matthew and Thierry. They were friends and...he was always kind to me, but I...I messed up.”

“How do you think you messed up?”

I closed my eyes. “It happened about a year before my mom was killed. I was sixteen, and I was training with Misha. He’d gotten the upper hand on me.” I paused. “He got the upper hand on me a lot, because he knew my weaknesses and he exploited them to try to get me to improve.”

“That makes sense.”

“Yeah, it does.” I thought about the way Misha would purposely stay in my blind spots to train me to react even when I couldn’t see what was going on. “Anyway, I got mad...and as you’ve already realized, I can be a wee bit impulsive.”

“Just a little,” he said, and I could hear the gentleness in his voice.

“Well, Misha was really getting on me, just messing around, but I lost my temper—my control. I let the grace take over to remind him that at end of the day, he couldn’t beat me. Not that he needed to be reminded, but I was being a brat and...and Ryker saw me. I didn’t realize at the time that he had, and I don’t even understand how he did, because he never came to the training facilities, but...he figured out from there what I was. He saw me as an abomination and a threat to other Wardens. He also knew that I could attract demons to the community, so it was a double-edged threat. He told a few other clansmen, and they decided that I should be...put down.”

“Jesus.” Zayne sounded horrified.

“The messed-up thing is that he waited nearly a year to come after me. A year of pretending to be my friend, being kind to my mom and hiding the fact that he hated me.” I let out a shaky breath. “Anyway, I use to go see a doctor in Morgantown for something that I couldn’t get treatment for in the community, and Ryker had accompanied us before, a lot of times actually, but...that time was different. After the appointment, on the way home, he pulled over and said there was a problem with the car. Mom and I got out, and that’s when he made his move. He shifted and came at me, and I was so shocked. I just stood there like a dumbass, and Mom—she jumped in front of me, and that was...that was it.”

I flipped onto my back while Zayne remained quiet, and somehow, when I straightened my legs, we were closer. My leg rested next to his. “I have been taught nearly all my life to control my grace. To not use it until it’s time. But if I had used my grace, I could’ve stopped him—stopped him like I did Clay. I could’ve saved my mom—”

“Trinity, don’t go down that road any farther. Without even knowing you this whole time, I know you’ve been blaming yourself for two years. You are not responsible for your mom’s death.”

I swallowed, still utterly thrown by the fact I was talking about this. Jada would be so shocked she’d want to record this moment. “I’m not? Because what if that was the time I was supposed to use it? What if we were taking the whole ‘being called by my father’ thing too literally? What if—?”

“Stop. You’re not responsible. You didn’t hurt her. That was on this Warden. Him. Not you.”

I knew I hadn’t hurt her with my hands, but I couldn’t help but think I had hurt her with my actions. It was hard getting past the fact that, at the end of the day, my behavior had played into a chain of events that led to her death.

Zayne was quiet for a long moment. “I think... Sometimes I think my father is still here.”

I looked up at him, pressing my lips together.

“Almost like I can...feel him? I know he’s not here, and it’s probably because there are times I forget he’s gone. I find myself thinking about telling him something and then it hits me. He’s gone.”

“I still have those days,” I admitted. “I don’t think we’ll ever stop having those days.”

“No, we probably won’t.” He took a deep breath, and I felt it. “Things weren’t good between us toward the end. We were barely speaking to one another.”

I was able to put two and two together from what he’d told me previously. “Because of Layla?”

“Yeah, because of her.” He fell quiet again, so long that my eyes began to drift shut, and then he spoke. “But before he died, he’d begun to realize that how someone was born and what they are didn’t dictate whether they were good or bad. Life, even for creatures we think don’t have the free will to choose between good and evil, isn’t the sum of DNA. Everyone is...a lot more complicated than that.”

“Did you guys get a chance to talk it out before he died?” I asked.

“A little.” Zayne went silent, and it seemed like an eternity stretched out between us before he said, “You okay with me turning off the light?”

My eyes opened. “Are you leaving?”

“If you want me to, I will.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Then I won’t for now.” He paused.

For now lingered in the space between us as I looked to where my hand fell. “Can you stay for a little while?”

“Yeah.” The bed moved a little as he reached for the light. A moment later the room plunged into darkness. “The picture? You look like your mom.”

I smiled into the darkness. “I do.”

“Nice reading material by the way.”

“Shut up.” My smile grew. He’d must’ve seen it before he turned off the lights. “That was my mom’s favorite book—and mine.”

“Maybe I’ll have to read it.”

“Not sure Vikings are going to be your thing.”

“You never know.” There was a pause. “I think my ceiling could use some stars.”

It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. “Do you really?”

“Yes.” He chuckled softly. “You sound like you don’t believe me.”

“I thought you’d find them childish or something, and I cannot picture you with stars all over your ceiling.”

“I’m full of surprises, Trinity.”

My toes curled at the way he said my name.

I don’t know how much time passed after that, but I was still awake and I...I wanted to know more about Zayne. “I have questions.”

A soft chuckle radiated from him and shook the bed. “There isn’t a single part of me that is surprised.”

My smile returned. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“What?” Zayne huffed quietly. “I’m not sure how to answer that question.” He paused. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“That’s easy to answer,” I said, wanting to bury my face in the pillow. “I’m a Trueborn who lives with Wardens who think I’m a human. Not exactly a lot of dating options.”

“Good point.” He shifted, and I felt his leg move just the slightest against mine. “And you and Misha never had anything?”

“No. Seriously. I already told you that I had a crush on him for, like, five seconds. I’ve had a lot of crushes, but Misha and I have never looked at each other like that. Plus Trueborns aren’t supposed to hook up with their Protectors,” I told him.

“Why?” he asked.

I half shrugged. “It goes against the rules and supposedly messes with the bond. I don’t know how. It was never really explained to me.” I paused. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Mainly because I really don’t know how to answer that.”

“You’re good-looking. You’re funny and charming when you’re not being annoying.”