Dark Light (The Dark Light Series)(126)

To hear Donna affectionately call my mom Nat warms me thoroughly. They were close, all of them. Love was there. I wasn’t the only one who lost when my parents were slaughtered. Donna lost her closest friends. She has suffered so much in the name of love.

“You knew him well. Alexander. Wasn’t that difficult, considering?” I don’t dare elaborate.

“Extremely, at first. But I couldn’t deny the immense love he had for Natalia. No one could. It literally radiated from him. Both of them, actually. By then, your dad, Chris was in my life. He persuaded me to give Alex a chance. Told me I couldn’t hold an entire species accountable for the act of one cruel, disgusting being. He was right. Alex was a good one,” she smiles and nods.

I imagine the four of them, laughing, talking, joking, being happy. Not unlike the bond my friends and I share. Though I can’t picture my parents’ faces, I can only imagine how gloriously beautiful they were. What I wouldn’t give just to get a glimpse of them.

“Who do you think I look like?”

Donna narrows her eyes as if she’s deep in thought. “I’d say Nat. You have her eyes, her beautiful hair. And her smile. She had the most dazzling smile. It could literally light a dreary day. You have Alex’s nose though, and some of his expressions. It’s funny; I see so much of them in you. They truly live on through you.”

I can’t deny the fresh emotion that pools in my excited eyes. To know that I have a piece of them with me, that I even remotely resemble their greatness, fills me with joy and hope. Maybe I can survive this. Maybe I can persevere with their strength, courage and tenacity coursing through me. They sacrificed so much for love. Maybe I can too.

I glance down at my half eaten breakfast and try to blink away tears. When I look back up at my mom, I can see that she is fighting with her own moist eyes. A smile stretches across my lips.

“Thank you for this. Really.”

She knew I needed this pep talk. She knew I needed to know that I was created out of love and courage and goodness. I had been walking on eggshells, afraid of what I could be capable of, and she is telling me that it’s okay. I am okay.

I rise to my feet and clear my plate. “I’m gonna grab a shower and get some studying done. Thanks for the talk, Mom.” I mean it. Though my apprehensions have not completely dissipated, Donna has made them easier to face. She’s made me realize that I owe it to her, Chris, Natalia, and Alex to survive.

The hours tick by seamlessly with the help of the Dorian-inspired playlist on my iPod. When I look up, it’s already 4 PM. Humph. Usually studying is like pulling teeth for me, yet it’s been oddly painless this time around. I close my Astronomy textbook, and stretch my stiffened limbs. My growling stomach leads me to the kitchen, where I find Chris, surprisingly. He usually doesn’t get home until 6 PM or later.

“Hey, Kiddo,” he greets me from the refrigerator. He is still dressed in his smart navy suit and tie.

“Hey, Dad. You’re home early.” I grab the loaf of bread from the bread basket and search the cabinet for the jar of peanut butter.

“Yeah, thought we could all use a nice dinner out. Whadayasay?” He decides on a can of ginger ale and an apple, and looks up to smile at me, awaiting my reaction. It’s a welcomed sight, considering how tense things have been between the two of us.

“Sure, sounds good.” I opt for just a single slice of bread with peanut butter in an attempt to save my appetite.

“Great. Your mom ran out to the store. She should be back shortly. We’ll leave in a couple hours, ok?” Chris is really trying to regain the seamless ease we once shared. His efforts don’t go unappreciated and I smile back at him warmly.

“I’ll be ready! Thanks, Dad,” I say before heading back to my room.

My family and friends are all I have. I have to fix the fissures that threaten to tear us apart while I still have the chance. I grab my cell phone and scroll down for Jared’s number. After a few rings, it goes straight to voicemail but I hang up before it prompts me to leave a message.

Since I have a couple hours to spare and couldn’t possibly read another word about globular clusters or moon phases, I decide to turn up the music and start organizing the things I’d like to take to the new apartment. I grew up in this room; it’s been my sanctuary since I was 14 years old. Six years of bittersweet memories. I couldn’t possibly strip it bare of all the joy, pain, frustration, laughter, fear, and love that fill it. It’s not like I will be gone forever, and it would destroy Donna if I emptied it and didn’t leave at least an inkling of her daughter in here.