Though fear has momentarily gripped her, my mom cautiously advances towards me and slowly places her hand on my shoulder. Chris is more hesitant and has not dropped his defensive stance, though his startled expression has grown softer. He approaches inch by inch with measured steps. My parents are afraid of me and what I will do. It’s as if I am a wild animal- unpredictable, vicious, dangerous. The revelation stops me up short and I completely release the fury that has resulted in their trepidation.
I swallow loudly, though my mouth is dry. “I don’t know what just happened. I don’t know how I did that.” My head drops to the floor in shame.
“I know. I know, dear,” my mom repeats, patting my back. She’s trying to comfort me but I know she is uncomfortable just touching me. It pains me to know that I am solely responsible for her terror.
“Have a seat, Kiddo. Let’s just try to calm down and talk about this,” Chris says, ushering his wife to the love seat, away from me. He is protecting her from me just in case I lose it again, as he should.
I take the seat farthest from them, tucking my hands between my knees. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I just got so angry. How did this get here?” I say nodding towards the letter still lying on the coffee table. Donna stands to open the curtains to let the sunlight brighten the room and the mood.
“It was in our mailbox yesterday morning. It wasn’t addressed or anything, just in a blank envelope. We tried to call you; didn’t you get any of our messages or texts?” Chris asks.
I shake my head, not recalling any missed calls or voicemail, though I haven’t actually been paying much attention to my cell phone. I know I looked at it earlier that morning and it didn’t indicate any messages.
“Humph. That’s strange,” he murmurs, rubbing his temples. He looks like he’s aged within the past 5 minutes.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen, you know,” I say quietly. “I tried to keep this under control, tried to handle this stuff on my own. I never thought they’d send something here.”
“What do you mean?” Chris questions. “You’ve received other notes? And didn’t tell us?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I started getting random messages a few weeks ago. My car, my phone.” I leave out the mysterious voice in the Breckenridge nightclub. They would lock me up and never let me leave the house for sure.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Donna chimes in. She comes to sit beside me, despite Chris’s rigid posture and flexed jaw. He’s still on edge.
“And then what? What could you possibly do?” I ask incredulously, looking between the both of them. “Besides worry yourselves to death about something or someone we couldn’t possibly fight?” I feel a wave of fresh anger begin to wash over me and I immediately start a series of deep breaths.
“We could’ve been there for you. You’re a strong girl; we know that. But you can’t keep taking things on alone. Everyone needs support.” My mom wraps a warm arm around me and squeezes gently. Chris nods in agreement.
I shake my head in exasperation and shrug out of my mom’s embrace, standing to my feet. “I wish that were true, but I won’t put you two in danger. Not after all you have already risked in order to keep me safe. It’s final; I’m moving out in a couple weeks. I’ll stay through graduation but that’s it.”
I begin to make my way to my room when Chris’s voice stops me up short. “Is there anything we can do to change your mind?”
I turn to look at him through watery eyes. He looks so solemn, so weary. Because of me. I shake my head. “Just be here.”
I grab my bag and retreat to the solace of my childhood bedroom. Now I wish I would have just gone to the Broadmoor with Dorian to escape this fiasco. It’s bad enough that the Dark have resorted to delivering threats to our home, but the fact that I’ve frightened my parents is unforgivable. I can’t even begin to comprehend how I caused those bulbs to break. Could I be a danger to them? And to other innocent people? Is anyone truly safe around me?
Under normal circumstances, I would call Jared and drown my sorrows in cold beer and curly fries, but now that our friendship has done a complete 180, there’s no one I would rather see than Dorian. I pick up my cell phone and scroll down to retrieve his number. No. I shouldn’t. While he may be an effective distraction, things have been getting a bit too precarious between us. I’m in love with him, I can’t deny that. But can I trust him? And even if I can’t, can I really turn away from him after falling for him so hard?