The Wright Mistake(42)

“Jules, I know,” I ground out.

“Yeah, well, it was wonderful to find out that the only reason you hooked up with me was because she was out of town for the holidays. You used me, Austin. You were my mistake. A Wright mistake. How ironic.”

The memory of that night two years ago hit me fresh all over again. Julia and I had been together for the best six weeks of my life. The girl of my dreams. And then something had happened. I’d choked. I’d totally freaked out about my feelings for her.

It was stupid. I knew that now. I’d had a long-ass time to think about it. But catching real feelings for someone made me vulnerable. It made Julia vulnerable. And she didn’t even know that loving me was as good as putting her Glock to her head and pulling the trigger.

I couldn’t let that happen to her. And I hadn’t been able to tell the truth. It was easier to let her think the worst about Maggie than to own up to how I felt about her.

“Maggie and I weren’t together two years ago,” I told her.

“I saw her in your bed, Austin! The day before Valentine’s Day!”

“I know you did. I won’t deny that she was there, and she was there to seduce me. That we’d been together as fuck buddies for a couple of years. And all of that.” I held my palms up in front of me. “But we didn’t hook up when you and I were together, and I wasn’t with her that day.”

“Then, what was she doing there?” Julia asked. Her voice was still as icy as a glacier, but at least she was listening to me.

“Exactly what you suspect she was doing there. She showed up as a surprise for me for Valentine’s Day. Mags doesn’t really care who she hurts when she wants something. She was dating someone then, too.”

“Don’t call her Mags,” Julia snapped.

“I’m not going to try to justify what happened two years ago. I was an ass. I let you believe the worst about Maggie and me even though nothing was going on.”

“You let me believe it.” She snorted and glanced off at the horizon. “You didn’t even tell me about Maggie. You let me find her!”

“To be fair, I didn’t know she was going to be there when we showed up at my place.”

“That’s not fair! That’s bullshit. We dated for six weeks and not one word about any ex-girlfriends. Not one!”

“Did you tell me about any of your exes?” I shot back. I ran a hand back through my hair in frustration. “We didn’t exactly have the who-was-the-last-person-you-fucked conversation. We were too busy enjoying our lives and moving on.”

Julia didn’t meet my eyes and seemed to be contemplating what to say. Eventually, she just shook her head. “I hate this. I hate arguing with you.”

“You do?” I asked skeptically.

“I hate it when it’s about this shit. It was two years ago. I’d thought I was over it. But then I saw Maggie standing there so casually while you talked to her, and I just lost it. I’m not over Maggie. I don’t like seeing you two together. I’ll never be okay with that.”

“I think that’s totally understandable. I was telling her to leave. I don’t want her there.”

She sighed. “But she’s always going to be there. Lubbock isn’t small, but it’s small enough. With my luck, we’re going to run into her again.”

“I can’t guarantee that you’ll never see her again. Unfortunately, Patrick is talking to Mindi again, and that’s her new roommate.”

“Maggie and Mindi?” Julia asked with an exaggerated eye roll. “Great. Now, I’m going to hate M and Ms.”

I took a step forward and reached for Julia. She yanked her arm back and shook her head. Things were not good.

Once again, I had fucked up.

The first time had been when she found out about my drinking. She’d gone home to Ohio for Christmas, pissed at me for not revealing my bad habits. I’d shrugged it off, like it didn’t matter, and she’d gotten irrationally pissed at me.

When she’d come home, she’d decided to give us a try again. Then, Maggie had happened.

Now, here I was again, with my old issues hindering me from moving forward all over again.

“I don’t care if you hate them both. I’m telling you that, two years ago, I was so afraid of my feelings for you that I let you believe that Maggie and I had been together rather than admitting how I was feeling.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“I know,” I said. I couldn’t tell her why it made sense to me in my fucked up head. But it did. It had at the time at least. “But I told you I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes. I want us to work, Jules.”