Valentine from a Soldier(11)

You have no idea what I want to be doing to you right now. ;) But even more, I just wish you were here beside me. Ryan

I felt angry at the inappropriateness of his text message. We hadn’t even discussed what he’d written in his letter. Did he think I was just okay with everything? Or that I hadn’t read it yet? If it were the latter, why was he going about pretending like everything was okay and that we didn’t have something huge to discuss? I didn’t respond and closed my eyes, blinking back tears in the darkness. Finally a few minutes later my phone beeped again. I begrudgingly grabbed it and looked down at the screen.

Did you get my letter?

I stared at it for a minute, trying to decide what to do. Finally I typed out a quick reply that would hopefully get my message across.

Can’t talk right now.

There. Let him wonder what was going on for a change. Maybe he would think I was spending tonight in the arms of another man. Not that I wanted to be with anyone else, but Ryan’s omission of the truth last night had hurt me. I was kind of feeling like a stand-in for his ex-fiancée. And let’s face it, we didn’t even live in the same city. Long distance relationships with someone you’d just met never worked, so it’s not like he could have me anyway, even if I’d let him.





Chapter 4




I scrolled through the messages on my phone Monday morning when I got into the office, debating where to begin. Morgan was sending me frantic texts about last-minute wedding details, which was totally out of character from her usual laid-back style. Josh was texting me, asking me to help him calm down Morgan. Several of the vendors for the wedding were emailing me asking for confirmation of the head count for the sit-down dinner, confirmation of delivery time for the floral arrangements, and other such details. And my email inbox was full of work-related queries. I was used to juggling a million things at once, but I found I could barely concentrate this morning as I went from one message to the next.

“I brought you a coffee,” my assistant Julia said, handing me a steaming cup. Her curly red hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and a few stands were loose, framing her face.

“Thanks, I needed that today,” I said gratefully. I took a sip and grabbed a croissant from the brown paper bag she offered.

“The bakery was packed this morning. I guess everyone else had the same idea as me.”

“Well, it is the week before Valentine’s Day,” I pointed out. “I’m sure people were placing special orders, finalizing the details of their wedding cakes….”

Julia laughed, knowing just how panicked Morgan had become as the big day approached. She’d sent several emails to me last week about her wedding cake alone, and I’d reassured her again and again that it would be perfect. “That reminds me,” Julia said. “Morgan called the office this morning.”

“Already? She just texted me a few minutes ago.”

“I told her that you were probably busy working out the last-minute details right now.”

“Right,” I grinned. “It’s not even 9:00 a.m., and I’m hot on the trail of wedding loose ends.”

Walking over to my desk, I sat down, crossing my legs and smoothing the fabric of my black suit jacket. My brown hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail, and I hoped that I at least looked more put together than I felt. I logged into my computer, finding it easier to email my work clients back than to type out messages on my phone. As I clicked through them, deciding where it begin, I suddenly yawned, wishing I’d been able to get a better night’s sleep. This was a big week, and I shouldn’t be this tired before it had even begun.

“Rough night?” Julia asked as she watched me.

“It’s just jet lag,” I said, brushing away any further inquiries. It was true that jet leg had been keeping me up, but what had really been bothering me were the memories of Ryan. Each night when I lay down I felt like a movie-reel of images depicting our weekend was replaying over and over again in my mind. Even finally falling asleep didn’t help, as I’d wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, thinking he was by my side, and then feel the anguish all over again. He wasn’t with me, and even if he had been, the night that we shared didn’t mean what I’d thought.

A new message beeped on my phone, and I glanced down. Josh’s name popped up on the screen, and I opened his message.

I want to give Morgan a special Valentine’s Day surprise at the reception. Have any ideas?

I sighed. Normally I loved event planning, and devising a special surprise would be right up my alley, but this week their happiness was just making me feel more and more alone. Apparently marrying her, giving her a wedding ring, and surprising her with the gorgeous pearl necklace we’d picked out at the jewelry store wasn’t enough, and now I had to help Josh come up with a special Valentine, too? I was sure Morgan wouldn’t care if Josh did anything specifically for Valentine’s Day; she’d be so blissfully happy that they were finally married. Maybe I could talk him out of it and let him know there’d be enough going on at the reception that we didn’t need to worry about that.