Unforgiven(88)

“You didn’t miss much. You walk down the aisle and stand next to Reagan. I think you can handle that.”
“I think I can.” I wink at him.
Reagan and I are the only ones not indulging in wine tonight and we exchange glances in a show of support to each other. Waiters and waitresses fill the center of the tables with a variety of hors d’oeuvres and the room is full of laughter. People are standing about chatting and enjoying themselves. The room is dimly lit, and small candles situated on each table fill the room with a hazy, low light. Reagan is wearing a cream shift dress and looks absolutely stunning with her long, dark brown hair in loose curls and Landon wears a black suit that makes his bright blue eyes stand out.
My mom and Louis are deep in conversation and I sit back and breathe for what feels like the first time today. I glance around the room and see familiar faces, but the only face I’m drawn to is Matt’s. His dark brown hair is perfectly styled and he looks peaceful—happy as he laughs with the man he’s talking to. He catches me looking at him and offers me a stiff smile before looking away quickly. This is what we’ve become—strangers that exchange half-hearted smiles.
Dinner is served and, while conversation bustles around me, I retreat within, remaining quiet—a listener, not a talker. I finally understand why Samantha was so introverted. Sometimes, it’s easier to withdraw from the reality around you and enjoy the fantasy reality in a fictional novel. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and read right now.
“Everything okay?” Landon asks quietly as he leans in.
“Yeah. I’m just tired. I think I’m going to take off soon and rest so I’m ready for tomorrow. Oh, before I forget, Jess wanted me to give you this.” I pull an envelope from my purse and hand it to him. He reaches for it and stares at his and Reagan’s names scrawled on the linen envelope.
“Should I open it here?” he asks tentatively. I shrug.
“I can’t imagine it’s anything that others shouldn’t see.” He chuckles.
“Good point.” Sliding his finger under the flap, he tears the envelope open and pulls out a white card that has a wedding greeting on the front. I lean in to read it with him. He opens the card and a gift card falls out and into his lap, but we both stay focused on reading the handwriting that’s beautifully written.
 
“Landon and Reagan,
Life has a funny way of bringing people together—but it’s the love that two people share that keeps them together. May your life together be full of happiness, health, and infinite blessings. My prayers are with you today as you start your lives together.
All my love,
Jessica”
 
“That was really nice of her,” I remark at the note inside the card. Landon seems to re-read it again.
“It was,” he says finally, picking up the gift card and placing it back inside the card. “Can you put this in your purse and take it home so I don’t lose it?”
“Yeah, of course. I think I’m going to head out now anyway. Is it rude to cut out early since I arrived late?” I laugh guiltily.
“I’m pretty sure everyone will understand. You’ve had a long day.”
“Happy last night as a single man,” I say, winking at him. “I’m really, really happy for you.”
For as long as I can remember, it was always just Landon and me. In the last year, we’ve welcomed our mom back into our lives and are building a relationship with her and now we welcome Reagan into the craziness.
“Who thought we’d actually end up with a real family?” he asks, taking a sip of water.
“Lan, that’s something I always said I wanted. A real family, but what I’ve learned the last few months is that even when it was just you and me, we were a real family.” He nods. “Okay, I’m going to go before I start crying.” I stand up and set my napkin on the table. Pulling my purse onto my shoulder, I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. He stands up quickly and pulls me into an embrace, holding onto me tightly, just like he did when we were kids. It’s warm and comforting.
As tears fill my eyes, I glance to Reagan, who is wiping tears from hers. Louis stands up and raises his wine glass. Landon finally releases me as I swat away tears that have slipped onto my cheeks.
“A toast to new beginnings,” he says.
“To new beginnings,” everyone repeats. I catch at quick glance at Matt, who is watching Landon and me with no emotion on his face.
“I have to go. See you in the morning.”
“Night, little sister.”




 
 
Standing in the vestibule of the church, I watch Landon wipe the sweat from his palms onto his tuxedo jacket.