Undone by Her Tender Touch

                                      One

                She shouldn’t be so nervous about catering for a bunch of muckety-mucks, but Pippa Laingley wanted everything to be perfect for her friend Ashley Carter’s housewarming.

                 And really, why should she be nervous? Just because the net worth of the assembled guests was more than the national debt shouldn’t be cause for her to sweat. Okay, and there was the fact that Pippa was on the verge of opening her own storefront café and catering business and she needed this to go off without a hitch so there would be good word of mouth and maybe a few referrals.

                 She spun around in Ashley’s huge kitchen, mentally taking stock of what was ready to go out. Where were the damn waiters?

                 On cue, the door swung open, and a guy who couldn’t be more than twenty hustled through. Pippa took one look and groaned.

                 “Where’s your uniform?”

                 He gave her a blank look.

                 She sighed and closed her eyes. “White shirt? Black slacks? Nice polished shoes? Preferably well-groomed hair?”

                 His mouth worked and then he snapped it shut. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m the emergency fill-in. I just assumed whatever I needed would be here.”

                 Pippa blew out her breath. “First day on the job?”

                 “Yeah,” he mumbled. “A friend told me about part-time gigs that paid good money. I’m sort of filling in for him.”

                 Her gaze narrowed. Great. She wasn’t even getting an official employee. Some moron had decided to skip and had worked a deal with his buddy to split the proceeds for a night’s work. No way he was going to handle a room full of people. Which meant she was going to have to wade in and help.

                 So much for having a nice glass of wine with the girls and gushing about Ashley’s new house.

                 Grabbing the kid by the arm, she pulled him toward the stairs. “Come on. You have to get into something better than that.”

                 He blinked but allowed her to drag him all the way to Ashley and Devon’s bedroom. She barreled into Devon’s closet and hurriedly riffled through his clothing until she found something appropriate.

                 “Strip,” she ordered crisply.

                 A dull flush rose up the kid’s neck.

                 The sound of a clearing throat was Pippa’s first warning that she and the kid weren’t alone.

                 “Perhaps I should come back later.”

                 The low drawl shivered over Pippa’s nape and she squeezed her eyes shut in mortification. Now she and the kid both were blushing fools. She turned to see Cam Hollingsworth leaning lazily against the door, his eyes flashing with amusement.

                 “Why, Pippa, you cradle robber.”

                 She could never understand why the man always caught her at a disadvantage. She was an intelligent, well-put-together, very articulate career woman. She owned her own business, never took any crap off anyone and people rarely intimidated her. And yet, every single time she crossed paths with Devon’s friend, she always made an ass of herself.

                 No way she was going to let this spiral into a mire of humiliation. She glared at Cam and then stalked over, tossing him the shirt and slacks.

                 “Get him into this. I need him downstairs in two minutes.”

                 To her utter delight, Cam blinked in surprise. She’d caught him off guard. Then he frowned and looked beyond her to where the kid still stood.

                 “What the hell? Aren’t these Dev’s clothes?”

                 “I need a waiter or no one is going to get food or drink,” she gritted out. “He’s all I’ve got. I’m not letting Ashley down tonight and neither are you. So get your ass in gear.”

                 She stomped past him and hurried down the stairs, not waiting to see Cam’s reaction to her dictate.

                 When she got back into the kitchen, she quickly lined up the trays, set wine and champagne glasses out and then grumbled under her breath about having to help ferry food and drinks to Ashley’s guests.

                 She’d asked for three servers. She’d gotten some college kid in need of beer money. Just great.

                 A moment later, college kid presented himself, and to Pippa’s surprise, he’d cleaned up well. The pants and shirt were a bit too large for his lanky frame, but he looked neat and presentable. His hair had been combed back until he looked almost polished.

                 She gestured him over, shoved a tray of lobster tarts into his hands and then pushed him out of the door toward the living room, where Ashley and Devon were entertaining their guests.

                 Then she returned to the island and began pouring wine into half the glasses. She filled the rest with champagne.

                 “Would you like some help?”

                 She whirled around, still holding the bottle, and darn near tossed the contents onto the floor.

                 “Help?”

                 Cam nodded slowly. “Assistance? You look as though you could use it. How on earth did you think you’d manage this on your own? Ashley was nuts for allowing you to cater the event.”

                 Pippa was horrified by the offer and then, as she processed the rest of the statement, she was just irritated as hell.

                 “I’d hate for you to sully those pretty hands,” she snapped. “And for your information, I’ve got this under control. The help didn’t show. Not my fault. The food is impeccable if I do say so myself. I just need a way to deliver it into the hands of the precious guests.”

                 “I believe I just offered my assistance and you insulted me,” Cam said dryly.

                 Her eyebrows drew together. Oh, why did the man have to be so damn delicious looking? Why couldn’t he be a toad? Or be bald? Although on the right guy, bald was totally hot. Why could she never perform the simplest functions around him?

                 “You’re Ashley’s guest,” Pippa said firmly. “Not to mention this isn’t your thing. You’re used to being served, not serving others.”

                 “How do you know what my thing is?” he asked as he reached for one of the trays.

                 She had absolutely nothing to say to that and watched in bewilderment as he hefted the tray up and walked out of the kitchen.

                 She sagged against the sink, her pulse racing hard enough to make her dizzy.

                 Cameron Hollingsworth was gorgeous, unpolished in a totally sexy way, arrogant and so wrong for her in so many ways, but there was something about the man that just did it for her.

                 She’d seen him often enough ever since Ashley had become involved with Devon Carter. Cameron and Devon were close friends and business partners in a consortium of luxury hotels and resorts. As Ashley’s best friend, Pippa had been to many of the same social events as Cameron. He’d been paired with her at Ashley’s wedding, and that had been ten sorts of hell, being close enough to smell him, and him so perfectly indifferent to her.

                 She sighed. That could be what irritated her the most. He was a luscious specimen of a male and he couldn’t be any less interested in her.

                 Maybe she just wasn’t his type. The problem was, she didn’t know what his type was. She never saw him with other women. He was either intensely private or he didn’t have much of a social life.

                 She was itching to shake his world up just a little.

                 Realizing she was spending far too much time mooning over Cam, she grabbed another tray, took a deep breath to compose herself and then headed toward the living room.

                 Pippa smiled brightly, hoping her lipstick at least was still visible. The rest of her makeup had probably melted off by now. She made her way through the room, relieved to see that many of the guests now held wineglasses. Cameron had indeed delivered the goods.

                 “Pip, what are you doing?” Ashley hissed.

                 Pippa jerked around to see her friend staring aghast at her.

                 “Hey, Ash, how is everything going? All your guests arrived?”

                 “Stop acting like the hired help,” Ashley said with a frown. “Why are you and Cam walking around serving drinks and hors d’oeuvres? And who’s the kid wearing Devon’s clothes!”

                 “Don’t get worked up, Ash. It’s not good for the baby,” Pippa said cautiously.

                 Ashley folded her arms over the noticeable baby bump—really, it was so adorable—and pinned Pippa with her most ferocious stare. Not that anything Ashley ever did could exactly be called ferocious. Could puppies or kittens be ferocious? “Pip, I asked you to do this because I wanted to help. Maybe get the word out about you, but I didn’t want you working yourself silly at my housewarming party. I need my best friend beside me, not serving me!”

                 Pippa sighed and handed Ashley one of the yummy snacks off her tray. “Look, the help didn’t show. All you got is me, the kid wearing your husband’s clothes and Mr. Mouthwateringly Gorgeous over there.”

                 Ashley’s eyes widened. “Cam? You’re talking about Cam?”

                 Pippa gave her an exasperated look. “I’m damn sure not talking about the infant wearing Dev’s clothes!”

                 “Whoa,” Ashley breathed. “I had no idea. I mean, yeah, Cam is hot in a broody kind of way, but I had no idea that was your thing.”

                 Pippa couldn’t even look over at him without getting a betraying flutter in her belly. “I’d like to lick those brooding lips,” she muttered.

                 Ashley giggled and then clapped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes sparkled merrily.

                 “Stop staring at him!” Pippa hissed. “You may as well be holding a sign up announcing we’re talking about him.”

                 Ashley turned her back to Cam, a grin still flirting with her mouth. “So how’d you get him to help out? Did you bat those gorgeous green eyes?”

                 “I don’t even know,” Pippa said in bewilderment. “He offered. I was kind of rude to him.”

                 Ashley snickered. “You? Rude?”

                 Pippa glowered at her. “Shut it.”

                 Ashley put her hand on Pippa’s arm and rose up on tiptoe to look over her shoulder. “I think I’m being summoned. Seriously, though, Pip. I’m not worried about the food so much that I want my best friend to be the serving wench for the evening. Go put the tray up and join us for a drink.”

                 Pippa switched the platter from one hand to the other as she surveyed the room. There were too many important potential clients to just shrug off such an opportunity. Ashley had given her the chance and she wasn’t going to squander it.

                 “I’ll check with you later, Ash. I have mingling to do. Your guests look hungry.”

                 Before Ashley could respond, Pippa was off, wading into the crowd, a bright smile on her face.

                * * *

                 “Are you out of your mind?”

                 Cameron turned to see Devon staring at him as if he was nuts. Cameron set the empty tray onto the sideboard and grinned at the look of absolute what-the-hell? on his friend’s face.

                 “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been asked that.”

                 “You’re playing waiter tonight?”

                 Cameron shrugged. “Pippa needed help. She looked like she was close to melting down. I figured that wouldn’t make Ash very happy.”

                 Devon frowned as he studied Cameron for a long moment. “I think you’re full of crap.”

                 But Cameron ignored Devon as his gaze caught Pippa melting into the crowd. She moved with effortless grace. She was mesmerizing to watch. He tracked her progress across the room as she smiled and greeted many of the guests. She laughed, and irritation sparked that he hadn’t been able to hear what it sounded like.

                 He’d been watching Pippa for months. She’d drawn his notice the very first time he’d seen her. He hadn’t actually met her then. They hadn’t been officially introduced until the third time they were at the same event. Even then he’d treated her as he treated most people. Cordial politeness. Faint disinterest. But he’d been anything but disinterested.

                 She hadn’t realized it, but he’d marked her from that very first moment. Like a predator marking prey. He watched and waited for that perfect moment. Working up to when he’d take her to bed and lose himself in that satiny skin and silky mane of glossy dark hair.

                 He could just feel the strands brushing through his fingers and falling down around them both. Her astride him, head thrown back as he pulled her down onto him again and again.

                 He muttered a foul curse when his body reacted fully to the erotic fantasy. He was at a housewarming, for God’s sake. The focus was supposed to be on babies, happy homes, puppies and rainbows. Not how fast he could get Pippa to his house a half mile down the road so they could indulge in a night of hot sex.

                 He was certain she was as attracted to him as he was to her. Often when she thought he wasn’t looking, her eyes glowed warm with lust as she fixed her gaze on him. He enjoyed those stolen glances because that was when he could see the honesty in her eyes.

                 The rest of the time she hid behind that brassy facade, the take-no-crap-off-anyone exterior. But inside? He was absolutely sure she was warm and gooey and all feminine purr. He couldn’t wait to run his fingers over her body and elicit that throaty sound of pleasure.

                 “Cam, what the hell, man? Hello? Anyone home?”

                 He blinked and turned to see that Devon was still standing there. He scowled. “Don’t you have a wife to tend to?”

                 Devon shook his head. “Do you have any idea how pathetic you look mooning over her from across the room?”

                 Cameron’s nostrils flared. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

                 “Keep telling yourself that,” Devon said with a snort. “Good God. Just go over there and get it done with. And then get a room, for Pete’s sake.”

                 “Oh, I’ll get a room,” he said softly. “She’s going to be locked in mine the entire night.”

                 Devon made a strangled sound of annoyance and then turned as if he couldn’t get away fast enough. Cam was too busy watching Pippa to care, though. He could see that her tray was empty. Her gaze was searching the rest of the room, a slight frown on her face. She was looking for the kid, and she didn’t look happy.

                 Her brow creased in annoyance, she left in the direction of the kitchen. Cameron picked up the empty tray he’d discarded moments ago and hurried after her.

                 He found her in the kitchen muttering swear words that would make a sailor wince. He grinned when she threatened to kick the asses of every single waiter who’d stood her up tonight.

                 “Where’s the kid?” Cameron asked.

                 She jumped, nearly sending the platter she was filling flying in the opposite direction. She whirled around, a ferocious scowl on her face. “Would you stop doing that?”

                 He held up his hands and took a cautious step back.

                 “He skipped out,” she growled. “He didn’t even give Devon’s clothes back! How am I going to afford to replace them? The shirt cost more than an entire catering job nets.”

                 Cameron laid his hand on her arm and she went completely still. The slender muscles in her arm rippled and he could hear the quick intake of her breath. He was right. She was satiny soft and yet firm. She either worked out or she was particularly blessed with excellent body tone. He’d lay odds that she worked out. She seemed rather disciplined.

                 “I’m sure Devon won’t miss a white shirt and black slacks,” he drawled. “He likely has two dozen more outfits just like it. He’s a well-ordered bastard. Not into too much variety, if you know what I mean.”

                 “That’s not true,” she defended staunchly. “He has a very laid-back wardrobe. Casual. Expensive casual, but still very casual.”

                 Cameron shrugged. “Can’t say I’ve ever made it into his closet.”

                 She suddenly giggled and then stopped herself, but her eyes were full of mirth.

                 “Glad you find me so amusing.”

                 “It’s not you as much as the idea of you poking around in Devon’s closet. You have to admit, it’s pretty funny.”

                 He rubbed the pad of his thumb in a slow up-and-down pattern above her elbow, and she went quiet again.

                 “Would you like me to take food out this time or would you prefer I make another round with wine and champagne? Hell, it’s Dev’s tab. I vote we take some bottles out and let everyone pour up what they like. You and I can circulate with food and watch everyone get wasted.”

                 She studied him a moment, cocking her head to the side. “I never realized you actually had a sense of humor.”

                 He lifted an eyebrow, taken aback by her candor.

                 Then she blushed and briefly closed her eyes. Just when he thought she’d stammer out an apology, she reopened her eyes and stared evenly at him.

                 He couldn’t help it. He laughed. This time it was her eyebrow that went up.

                 He pushed in close to her, until their bodies were nearly touching. So close that her scent and soft warmth enveloped him and held him captive.

                 He brushed his hand over her cheek, pushing back that velvet cascade of hair. And it was every bit as silky as he’d imagined. He wrapped one finger in it, tugging experimentally.

                 “Here’s what I propose,” he murmured. “Let’s make another pass. Load everyone up on food and drink. Set out a few trays within easy reach and then we ditch this place and go to mine.”

                 Her lips parted and her eyes went glossy, the pale green mesmerizing. “Is that a proposition?”

                 “Bet your sweet little ass it is.”

                 “Surely you can do better than that.”

                 Both his brows went up.

                 She narrowed her gaze. “You’ll do better or I’m taking my sweet little ass home. Alone.”

                 Ah, but he did love it when she got all sassy.

                 He leaned in, touched his lips to hers. He cupped the side of her neck, sliding his fingers around the slim column to delve into her hair. He pulled her close, molding his body to hers as he took full possession of her mouth.

                 Heat slicked through his veins like rapidly flowing lava. He wanted her. To the point of desperation.

                 When he finally pulled away, they both breathed heavily and her eyes took on a sleepy, drugged look.

                 “How about I take you home with me and we make love all night long?” he murmured.

                 She licked those delectably swollen lips. “Now that’s better.”

                 Her husky voice shot straight to his gut and he realized he was a short fuse away from taking her right here in his friend’s kitchen and damn anyone who saw.

                 “You get the food,” he said in a strained voice. “I’ll get the wine.”





                                      Two

                Cameron pulled Pippa out the back door and the brisk chill of the winter air blew over her ears. She tugged her hand from Cameron’s long enough to pull her coat tighter around her, but he quickly reclaimed her wrist, hauling her ever closer to his car.

                 He stopped abruptly when they got to a midnight-black Escalade. He turned with a frown, still holding tightly to her hand.

                 “How did you arrive? Did you drive?”

                 Drive? She didn’t even own a car. Nor did she have a license, which was problematic given that she needed a delivery van to cater events.

                 She shook her head. “Ashley sent a car for me.”

                 He paused, arching one eyebrow. “And how did you get all that stuff here from New York?”

                 She flushed, feeling as though he were judging her and her abilities.

                 “I shopped here. Had the wine delivered. Ashley has an excellent kitchen.” Pippa should know since she was the one who’d stocked it from floor to ceiling. Ashley was clueless when it came to cooking, but Pippa was working to rectify that.

                 Cameron opened the passenger door to the Escalade and all but pushed her inside. “Good enough. It works out perfectly. I’ll have a car drive you back to the city in the morning.”

                 With that, he shut the door, leaving her a little disgruntled at how eager he seemed to be to get rid of her before they even had sex.

                 He stalked around the front, yanked open his door and climbed in, keying the ignition before he’d even settled onto the seat.

                 Then again, her feminine pride was stroked just a bit over how desperate he acted to get her to his house so the sexing could commence.

                 She knew he didn’t live far. Ashley had commented on the fact that they were now neighbors with Devon’s purchase of the new house.

                 Cameron tore down the driveway, his hands tight around the steering wheel as he navigated onto the paved lane. He drove about a quarter mile before turning into a gated drive. The gate swung open and Cameron accelerated up the winding path to the house.

                 Pippa couldn’t make much out about it in the dark. There weren’t any lights on. The mansion loomed in the shadows. It looked unwelcoming. She wondered if it was a hulking monstrosity built from stone like a medieval dwelling. She’d heard Devon tease Cameron about his “cave” and now she was curious.

                 Just before they got to the house, lights began to flicker on. Pippa realized that Cameron was turning them on remotely from the SUV. She leaned forward, trying to get a glimpse but was prevented as Cam pulled into the garage.

                 Determined that she wasn’t going to succumb to nerves or be caught at any disadvantage, she slid out of the passenger’s side and walked around to meet him by the door. He ushered her inside, one hand pressed to the small of her back.

                 They walked into a sprawling kitchen that made her drool with envy. It was nirvana to someone like her, who’d rather be hard at work over a stove than anywhere else. It was like a showroom, so immaculate that she wondered if anyone ever used it.

                 He didn’t pause or allow her to, either. He pressed ahead, running a gauntlet through a huge living room to the wooden staircase that opened into the foyer where the front entrance was. Tugging her behind him, he mounted the steps. She nearly had to run to keep up.

                 By the time they made it into the spacious master bedroom, she was slightly winded. But before she could think to catch up, he yanked her to him, molding her body against his. His lips found hers in a ravenous kiss that muddled her senses.

                 “You are so damn beautiful,” he muttered as his mouth skimmed down her jaw to her ear. “You drive me crazy. Across the room. If I even know you’re near.”

                 She smiled a tiny smile of satisfaction. What woman wouldn’t love to hear this?

                 He set her apart from him, his hands almost rough on her shoulders. He stood breathing hard, his fingers curled into her flesh.

                 “We need to discuss a few things before we get carried away.”

                 Though his words came out calm, his eyes blazed with a wildness that made her shiver. He wanted her. There was no question. She’d never been quite so devoured by something so simple as a man’s gaze.

                 “There are things you should know. Things I need to make clear so there is no misunderstanding.”

                 Her curiosity piqued, she lifted an eyebrow and gently shook away his hands. She eased onto the edge of the bed and then crossed one leg primly over her knee.

                 “Do go on. I’m listening.”

                 He frowned a moment, as if he couldn’t quite ascertain whether she was teasing him. Okay, she totally was, but what could be so important that he’d put a screeching halt to some pretty hot foreplay? Not that they’d really gotten that far into anything yet, but the way he kissed made her feel like they were already having sex.

                 He wiped a hand over his mouth, cupping his chin for a brief moment before he pinned her once more with that glittering gaze.

                 “I don’t do commitment. I need you to understand that if we go to bed together, this is a one-night stand. I won’t call you in a few days. I won’t call you, period. I’ll expect you to leave in the morning. I’ll provide a car for your transport back into the city.”

                 She blinked and then she laughed. It was clear it was the very last thing he’d expected her to do. Had he maybe expected her to stomp out of his bedroom in a huff?

                 Still smiling, she rose and sauntered toward him. When she was in his space, she let her fingers trail up the buttons of his shirt and then to his neck and jaw.

                 “You’re way too serious, Cam,” she drawled. “I was hardly anticipating a marriage proposal. If you expect me to cling to you and beg for more when this night’s over, you’re destined to disappointment. What I want is hot sex. Can you give me that?”

                 Relief flared in those gorgeous blue eyes and his nostrils quivered as his breaths came in harsh spurts. He was reaching for her when she put a hand to his chest.

                 “Not so fast, hotshot. I have a few things I’d like to get out of the way, too.”

                 He looked caught off guard and his brows furrowed in quick reaction.

                 “I assume you’ve got condoms. Or rather, I’m not assuming anything. No condoms? No sex. I’m clean, in case you’re wondering. It’s none of your business when the last time I had sex was or who with, but it’s been long enough that I’ve had blood work done since. And I never have unprotected sex.”

                 “I’ve got them,” he growled. “I’m clean. I don’t give a f—” He cleared his throat. “I don’t care who you had sex with last or when. Been a while for me, too. I’m clean and I always use condoms.”

                 She reached for him, bunching his shirt into her fist, and then she yanked him forward. “Then we have nothing else to talk about,” she said just before she dragged him down to meet her kiss.

                 Lust gripped Cameron by the throat and squeezed until he was light-headed. She was everything he’d imagined and a whole hell of a lot more. She was sweet, spicy, feisty as hell and she was seducing him in his own bedroom.

                 He loved how impatient she was, yanking at his shirt, pulling it from his pants. He was used to being the aggressor in bed, but it was a huge turn-on to have Pippa boldly staking her claim.

                 When her fingers slipped into the waistband of his slacks and began undoing the fly, he nearly lost it. He took in deep breaths, trying to calm the adrenaline boiling through his veins.

                 But then, as soon as the fly was loosened, she reached down and cupped his erection.

                 Oh, hell.

                 She leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him, all the while caressing his length with soft, silky fingers. “You know, I’d love nothing more than to drop to my knees and give you the best experience of your entire life, but not the first time. I’m a little more demanding the first time with a new guy. I expect him to rock my world first.”

                 If that wasn’t a challenge, he didn’t know what was. He pulled her away from him enough that he could walk her back to the bed. He pulled just as impatiently at her clothing until she was wearing nothing more than the sexiest damn lingerie he’d ever seen up close and personal.

                 She was an absolute siren in black. Black hair and wicked black lacy panties and bra that barely covered her nipples. Her hair was delectably mussed, giving her that just-out-of-bed look. And her eyes. So sultry with liquid eroticism. She wasn’t just beautiful. She was bloody amazing.

                 He tumbled her onto the mattress, enjoying the way she sprawled, laid out for him, a feast for his senses. And he wanted to indulge them all. Touch, sight, smell… He wanted to hear her whisper his name and her throaty sounds of passion. But most of all he wanted to taste every inch of her skin.

                 Knowing if he didn’t take care of the condoms now, he’d never stop in the heat of the moment, he fumbled in the nightstand, pulled out the entire box and tossed it on the bed.

                 Then he came down over her, captured her mouth and molded her soft body to his.

                 It was like being struck by lightning. An electrical charge surged through his body, tightening every one of his muscles. She returned his kiss every bit as passionately as he kissed her. Her hands roamed over his back, exploring every inch of his flesh.

                 Remembering the vivid fantasy he’d had earlier that night, he rolled, taking her with him until she was positioned astride him.

                 The reality far surpassed the weak fantasy he’d spun in his head. Nothing compared to having her here, in his arms, her thighs pressed to his sides.

                 “Undress for me,” he said hoarsely. “Right here where I can watch.”

                 A wicked smile glimmered on full, kiss-swollen lips. Slowly she reached behind her and began to unclasp her bra. Instead of letting it fall immediately, she held the tiny lace confection to her chest and then allowed the straps to slide down her arms inch by inch.

                 He was barely capable of breath. The anticipation was killing him. And then finally she pulled the bra away, baring her full breasts to his avid gaze.

                 And they were perfect breasts. Perfectly shaped. Perfect size. Just the right amount of bounce. Firm. High. Delectable nipples that just begged for his mouth.

                 “I’ll need your help with the panties,” she murmured, her eyes flashing mischievously.

                 He couldn’t even stammer out a reply. He nodded, but then right now he’d agree to damn near anything.

                 She leaned forward, pushing her gorgeous breasts mere inches from his mouth. Then she slid one leg over him so she was no longer straddling his hips. She turned then and began working her panties slowly down her buttocks.

                 He wasn’t at all sure what he was supposed to help with, but he was game. He turned over on one elbow and reached to steady her waist with his free hand, letting his fingers wander down the small of her back, enjoying the feel of so much silky flesh.

                 When the underwear was down to her knees, trapped there by the mattress, she turned on her back and stretched her legs over his chest.

                 More than happy to accommodate, he took over, pulling the panties the rest of the way until they came free of her feet. He tossed them across the room and went after her like a starving predator.

                 He slid over her body, the sensation of skin on skin nearly undoing him. He kissed her neck, nibbled, tasted and teased and then worked down, wanting nothing more than to have her breasts underneath his tongue and lips.

                 She was utter perfection. Curvy, sweet, not too slim, not too heavy. Just…perfect.

                 A sigh escaped her when his lips closed over one straining nipple. It was an intoxicating combination of hardness and velvet. Luscious. So very soft. He sucked gently at it, rolling it between his lips. He flicked his tongue repeatedly over the point, bringing it to an even harder bud.

                 Then he slid his mouth over the hollow between her breasts to the other nipple. For several seconds he played, idly toying with it. She twisted restlessly beneath him, her breaths coming more rapidly now.

                 “You are so damn perfect,” he murmured. “I can’t get enough of you. You taste better than anything you could possibly cook.”

                 He looked up to see her lips form a pout. “You haven’t tried my cooking, then,” she said. “I’m a wonderful cook.”

                 He laughed. “It was a compliment, or at least it was meant to be.”

                 “I think you’re doing just fine without the compliments,” she said in breathy delight.

                 He cupped her breast in his palm, shaping it, watching as the nipple hardened again. “You like this. What else do you like, Pippa? Tell me how to please you.”

                 “Oh, you’re doing fine. No complaints here. I love it when a guy takes his time and doesn’t just think about his own pleasure.”

                 “Oh, but this is my pleasure,” he murmured. “I love touching you. I love tasting you. Love watching you respond. How your eyes go a darker green when you’re really turned on. And that little vixen smile that tells me I’m in for one hell of a good time.”

                 “On second thought, keep on with the compliments. I’m liking this very much,” she purred.

                 “Where do you like to be touched?” he whispered.

                 Her eyes darkened again. She reached for his hand and slid it down her belly to the juncture of her legs. She guided his fingers over her softness to the tiny bundle of nerves at the apex and gently stroked the tip over it.

                 Then she moaned when he took over himself. Oh, yeah, she liked that. A lot.

                 He could be just as wicked as she could. Still stroking through the soft, velvet folds of her femininity, he lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth.

                 She let out a cry and arched upward, her hands tangling in his hair. She was forceful. Nothing dainty about her. She knew what she liked and demanded it. He loved that about her.

                 He stroked his thumb over her clitoris one last time and then he pulled his hand away long enough to snag a condom. He leaned down to kiss her as he parted her legs. He wanted it to last, too, but he also knew this wouldn’t be the only time tonight. There was no way he’d get enough and he planned to use every single minute she was here to his advantage. Neither of them would be able to walk the next day but he was more than okay with that.

                 He nibbled at the corner of her mouth. “Are you ready for me?”

                 She responded by wrapping her legs around his waist and arching upward. He smiled at her impatience.

                 He planted his forearms on either side of her shoulders. “Guide me in, Pippa. Show me how you want it.”

                 Her pupils flared and then she reached down, circling him with her fingers. She positioned him against her opening and arched just enough that he slid in the barest inch.

                 They both let out an anguished sound and he could hold back no longer. Flexing his hips, he drove deep. At first he thought he’d hurt her, but then she dug her fingers into his shoulders and all but roared at him not to stop.

                 He grinned, kissed that ferocious mouth and then began to move in a frantic rhythm. There was no style, no grace. Their lovemaking couldn’t be described as polished or smooth. Far from it.

                 It was animalistic, with Pippa taking every bit as much as she gave. She demanded everything he had and more. He’d never made love to a woman more fierce than her, and he loved every minute of it.

                 She fused her mouth to his. Then she nibbled at his jaw and moved her mouth lower to sink her teeth into his neck. He’d wear her marks for days and it stroked his male pride to think of someone else being able to see the marks of her possession.

                 But she wouldn’t be without marks of her own. Oh, hell, no.

                 “Are you with me, Pippa?” he panted out. “I need you with me. I’m close.”

                 “Sooo there,” she said from behind clenched teeth. “Go hard, Cam. Don’t let up. Please just don’t let up.”

                 As if he could.

                 He let out a roar of his own and began driving into her with powerful, quick strokes. He wasn’t aware of anything but her. Only her. Writhing beneath him. Surrounding him with her sweetness. He smelled her, heard her, could still taste her on his tongue. And, oh, man, he felt her all the way to his bones.

                 “Cam!” she cried out.

                 Her fingers gripped his shoulders and she shuddered violently beneath him. He gathered her in his arms and let out a shout of his own as his body seemed to fracture and break into about a million pieces.

                 The next thing he knew he was flush against her, all his weight atop her body. It felt so damn good even though he had to be crushing her. But she wasn’t complaining. In fact, she was wrapped so tightly around him that he couldn’t have moved if he wanted to.

                 He lay there several long seconds while he caught his breath, and then with a groan, he rolled to the side so he could dispose of the condom.

                 When he looked back, Pippa was sprawled rather indelicately on her back, her expression dazed.

                 “I think you killed me,” she murmured. “When can we do it again?”





                                      Three

                Pippa dragged her eyes open and stared dumbly at the white cloud enveloping her head. Her body felt as though it had been hit by a freight train, but, oh, man, was it a wonderful feeling.

                 It took her a moment to realize she was facedown on the pillow. She lifted her head, her hair falling like a curtain over her eyes. Impatiently, she shoved it back and propped herself up on her elbow.

                 The bed was empty. Well, almost. At the end, her clothing was neatly folded, a nice subtle reminder that she was to depart as soon as she awakened. She wrinkled her nose. Cam certainly hadn’t stuck around. She couldn’t even tell he’d been in bed with her. No indention in the pillow. No lingering scent. No warmth. Nothing at all to indicate that they’d spent the entire night tearing up those wonderfully luxurious sheets.

                 With a sigh, she pushed herself up farther, holding the sheet over her breasts. Then she snorted over the realization that she was being unreasonably modest. He’d made himself clear. He wanted no awkward next-morning encounters. She didn’t have to worry about him barging in unannounced. And even if he did, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen her boobs already.

                 Not only had he seen them but he’d licked them, kissed them, nibbled at them and worshipped them over and over.

                 A shiver stole over her and her skin prickled, her nipples hardening at the memory of just how hard and often they’d made love through the night. She’d be lucky if she could manage to dress herself and get down those damn stairs.

                 She was tempted to take a really long hot shower. Her last attempt at a shower had been interrupted, and, well, she’d just gotten sweaty all over again. Many times again after that shower with Cam. But he wanted her out and she wasn’t going to delay things.

                 She checked her watch and groaned. It was past nine. She should have been up and out a lot earlier but she hadn’t drifted to sleep until well into the morning.

                 Nothing like wearing out her welcome.

                 She scrambled out of bed, wincing as all of her muscles protested the movement. Hell, she hurt in places she’d never even used before.

                 After pulling on her underwear, she slipped the dress over her head and put on her shoes, beating a hasty path to the bathroom to try to do something with her hair. She had makeup in her purse but she wasn’t going to bother. She had no one to impress and the car would drop her outside her apartment.

                 After brushing the tangles from her hair, she twisted it into a loose knot and fixed it in place with a large clip she’d pulled from her purse. She perched her sunglasses on her nose, satisfied that she didn’t look like such a fright.

                 Taking a deep breath, she exited the bedroom and quietly walked toward the stairs. She had no idea if Cam was even here, but the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to her late exit from his bed.

                 She tiptoed down the stairs and when she reached the bottom, she was greeted by a tall, somber-looking man who was an indeterminate age somewhere between forty and seventy.

                 “Miss Laingley, the car is out front waiting to take you into the city.”

                 She winced. “I’m sorry. Has it been waiting long? I’m afraid I overslept.”

                 The older man smiled kindly at her. “Not at all. There’s no need to offer an apology. Come, I’ll see you out.”

                 He offered his arm, but that was awkward so she pretended not to see and walked ahead of him toward the massive double front doors. She paused when she got there, suddenly realizing she hadn’t gotten her coat. With a frown, she turned, only to see the man holding it open for her.

                 “Thank you,” she murmured.

                 No matter what Cam had said about it being a while, it was obvious she wasn’t the first woman he’d given such a spiel to. His butler or whatever the hell this guy was had the whole process way too down pat.

                 She slid her arms into the sleeves and then pulled the coat closed as the man opened the door. Cold air billowed in and Pippa blinked at the sudden white. Then she smiled. “It snowed!”

                 “Indeed it did. At least six inches according to the weather.”

                 This time when he offered his arm, Pippa took it to descend the steps. She still had on those toothpick heels she’d worn the night before, and while they were sexy beasts for shoes, they weren’t appropriate for icy conditions.

                 He was solicitous of her the entire way, ushering her into the back of the sleek black sedan that was already warm and toasty. He hung there a moment, staring into the backseat as he held on to the door.

                 “Have a safe trip, miss.”

                 “Thank you,” she murmured.

                 He closed the door and the driver pulled down the drive that had already been cleared of snow. She turned in her seat, staring back at the house she hadn’t gotten a good look at the night before.

                 It was a hulking piece of construction, but it wasn’t as looming or intimidating as she thought it might have appeared. It looked entirely normal. In keeping with the other mansions that dotted this area.

                 It was, however, extremely private and surrounded by thick woods on all sides. There was no way to tell the total acreage, but she guessed it was a lot. She couldn’t see another house or even the road as they wound their way down the drive.

                 Yes, it did appear that Cam was Mr. Reclusive as Devon had suggested. Now that she’d had a taste of all that dark, broody passion, it made her wonder just how often Cam ventured out to lure a woman back to his cave.

                 She nearly laughed. She made it sound like he was the Beast, sulking in his lair while he waited for Beauty. But if anything, Cam was Beauty. The man was sinfully gorgeous and forbiddingly perfect.

                 And he could make love like a dream. She’d wear and feel the effects of his lovemaking for a week. A sharp tingle snaked down her back, invading her limbs, bringing awareness and arousal all over again.

                 She gave one last look to the imposing structure as the car turned the final bend of the driveway. Then with a sigh, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

                * * *

                 Cam stared through the slat in the blinds of his upstairs office as the car bearing Pippa back to the city drove away. For several long seconds, he continued to stare, even when it disappeared from view.

                 He turned away and stood for a long moment, hands thrust into his pockets. It annoyed and bewildered him that he had no idea what he was going to do next. He experienced a sudden surge of restlessness, an urge to go do something, although what, he had no idea. He only knew that being here, alone, in his too-quiet house was suddenly…unbearable.

                 He scowled. It was the damn woman. He’d been caught off guard by everything about her. Maybe he’d expected someone more like Ashley. Sweet, shy, innocent, naive, a bit vulnerable, in need of protection. Maybe his ego had been stroked by offering Pippa a night in his bed. Maybe he thought he’d been granting her a favor while indulging in what he’d wanted to do from the moment he’d met her.

                 Instead, she’d rocked his world. This was a confident, self-assured woman who wasn’t afraid to reach out and take what she wanted, and she’d wanted him. His ego should be assuaged by that. But he found himself disgruntled because…the damn roles had been reversed.

                 It was almost as if she had been the one to say, Hey, I want you but I don’t want any strings. She’d taken control.

                 He’d acted like an out-of-control, desperate, raging sex fiend. Nothing like the composed, commanding man he liked to present to the rest of the world.

                 And that…well, that bothered him. A lot.

                 Shaking his head, he walked down the hall back to his bedroom. He entered hesitantly, which was stupid given that he’d seen her drive away, but somehow her presence was still firmly imprinted. He could smell her.

                 His gaze traveled over the rumpled bed linens, the mussed pillows. One of the sheets was barely clinging to the bed. Most of it was on the floor.

                 He should have taken her to one of the guest rooms. He didn’t bring women to his bedroom. Ever. If he’d actually been thinking the night before, he would have remained downstairs where she wouldn’t have breached the areas private to him at all. But the only prevailing thought he’d had was to get her into bed, however fast he could do it.

                 Lust was a bitch.

                 A controlling, fickle mistress from which there was no escape. At least not when it came to Pippa Laingley. Maybe now that he’d had her six ways to Sunday, his blood would cool and he wouldn’t lose his damn mind every time she came within a hundred feet.

                 His gut told him this was in no way true, but for his peace of mind, he was going with it.

                 He walked into the bathroom, wincing at the mess facing his cleaning lady. The shower door was still open. Towels had been discarded on the floor. The countertop was a mess thanks to his impatience. He’d swept the surface bare with a quick hand right before lifting Pippa onto the edge so he could have her again.

                 There were at least two discarded condoms on the floor.

                 He gingerly leaned down to toss the one by the sink into the nearby trash can and then went for the one on the floor by the shower. He used a tissue to pick it up and started for the trash can when he noticed something that sent panic knifing through his stomach.

                 He froze, unable to even process the evidence before him. Then a string of obscenities blistered the air. His stomach balled into a knot. Sweat broke out on his forehead and his mouth went completely dry.

                 He closed his eyes, willing it not to be so, but when he reopened them, he saw irrefutable proof in his shaking hand.

                 The condom had torn.





                                      Four

                Pippa was tempted to throw her cell across the street, but only the knowledge that she’d have to replace it kept her from giving in to the urge. What else could possibly go wrong today?

                 She’d found the perfect place for her bakery and catering business. It was in a nice area. The terms were satisfactory. It had already been outfitted with the necessary facilities. All she’d need was a little remodeling to the front to accommodate eat-in customers and she’d be set.

                 After so long doing word-of-mouth events, she was ready for a more solid step. One that would give her a steady income versus never knowing when she’d land her next gig. Her meager savings had kept her in her current apartment, but if she didn’t start bringing in a regular income, it would be gone in a year.

                 She was certain she could qualify for a small-business loan, but in order to get the necessary funds, she needed a signed lease. Which she had, at least until her Realtor had called her to inform her that there was a problem.

                 Suddenly her dreams of cute cupcakes, yummy little pastries, intricately decorated bonbons and delicious-smelling breads evaporated.

                 She blew out her breath in a cold fog and mounted the steps to her apartment. She fumbled with the lock just as her cell phone went off, which only renewed her desire to toss it into oncoming traffic.

                 She managed to push inside to where it was a great deal warmer, and after kicking the door shut with her foot, she glanced down at her phone. It wasn’t a number she recognized, but given that she’d handed her number out to potential clients, she couldn’t afford not to answer the phone.

                 With a sigh, she punched the receive button and put it to her ear. “Pippa Laingley.”

                 She was in the midst of trying to shrug out of her coat when she heard Cam’s voice over the line.

                 “Pippa, it’s Cam.”

                 She paused and then chuckled, leaving her coat dangling from the arm that was bent to her ear. “Well, hello, Cam. What a surprise. I distinctly remember you saying you wouldn’t call. To what do I owe this honor?”

                 “One of the condoms broke,” he said tersely.

                 She quickly switched the phone to her other hand so she could shake away the coat. She left it there in the doorway and walked toward her living room, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly.

                 “Say that again,” she said shakily.

                 She sank onto the couch, clutching the phone tightly to her ear.

                 There was an indistinguishable sigh and then he said, “The condom we used in the shower. It broke. I didn’t discover it until after you’d left. Since we were in the shower, there would have been no…evidence…at the time. I didn’t notice.”

                 Her heart lodged solidly in her throat and she closed her eyes. No, she wouldn’t have noticed, either.

                 He’d been insatiable, but then so had she. The very last thing she’d considered at the time was whether the condom had performed as expected. Obviously if it would have happened at any other point, they would have known. But in a shower?

                 “Pippa, are you there?”

                 The strident demand shook her from her thoughts.

                 “I’m here,” she said faintly.

                 “There are things we have to discuss.”

                 She frowned. “Why are you only just now calling me? When did you discover this?”

                 There was a pause. “I found it yesterday after you left.”

                 “And you’re only just now telling me?” she shrieked. “This would have been good to know yesterday when there was something I could have done.”

                 Even as she was furious at him, she wasn’t sure what she would have done. A morning-after pill? It would have been a bit late for that, but what did she know about such things? She could have at least done some research and made an informed decision.

                 “Calm down, Pippa.”

                 The condescension in his tone just pissed her off even more.

                 “Don’t tell me to calm down,” she seethed. “You aren’t the one who has to live with the consequences of that broken condom.”

                 “Don’t I?” he snapped. “If you think an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t affect me every bit as much as it does you, then you’re delusional. Now quit shouting at me so we can discuss our options like adults.”

                 She bit hard into her lip to prevent the outburst straining to break free.

                 “Now, I assume from your reaction that you aren’t on any sort of birth control.”

                 “No one can ever accuse you of being stupid.”

                 “Cut the crap, Pippa. I get that you’re scared and caught off guard. This isn’t a picnic for me, either. You taking this out on me helps neither of us.”

                 Realizing she was doing exactly as he’d accused, she went silent, her grip still tight around the phone. She should have thrown it when she’d had the urge. If she had, she wouldn’t be having this harrowing conversation right now.

                 “I think you should move in with me, at least until we know if you’re pregnant.”

                 Her mouth fell open and her brow creased in disbelief. “What?”

                 He sighed again. “Perhaps this isn’t a conversation we should be having over the phone. I can pick you up in an hour.”

                 She got her wits back in time to utter a hoarse, “No.”

                 “Then what’s your preference?” he asked impatiently.

                 She put her hand to her temple and dug her fingers into it, massaging the increasing ache.

                 “Look, Cam, I’m not moving in with you. That’s about the most absurd suggestion I’ve heard. We don’t need to talk face-to-face. Right now, I have no desire to see you. I’m in shock. I need time to figure out my options. I don’t need you breathing down my neck. If it turns out I’m pregnant, I know where to find you, and believe me, you’ll be hearing from me then. Until that point, I’d appreciate it if you just backed off.”

                 “Damn it, that’s not what I want. Look, Pippa, I need to know that you and the…baby…are safe. If there is a baby, I mean. The best way to do that is for you to be close where I know you’re taken care of.”

                 There was quiet desperation in his voice and an odd detached tone that suggested to her he wasn’t even focusing on the real issue at hand. His head seemed to be somewhere else and that annoyed her all the more.

                 He was worrying about her and a theoretical baby’s safety, and at this point she was just worried that there was a theoretical baby.

                 “I don’t care what you want,” she said evenly.

                 She pulled the phone away from her ear and punched the end button. Then realizing that Cam was the persistent sort, she turned it off and thrust it away.

                 She sat there for several long minutes, staring into nothing as she tried to absorb the implications of that broken condom. She wasn’t stupid enough to laugh it off and say something absurd like, Who gets pregnant from that one time? There were any number of pregnant women who’d naively asserted the same thing. She wasn’t one of them.

                 She shot to her feet, needing to do something. Information. Probabilities. She knew the timing was probably good, but she hurried to her bedroom to dig out her diary where she kept information on her menstrual cycle.

                 Any single, sexually active woman was a moron if she didn’t keep track of such things.

                 She slipped to the page where her last entry had been written and then calculated the days in her head. Then she let out a harsh groan. Could the timing have been any better? Not that she could possibly predict when she was ovulating, but if she went with averages, there was a good possibility that this weekend had been her prime baby-making window.

                 Okay, so it was entirely possible. The next thing she needed to do was figure out her options, if she had any.

                 She went back to that damnable phone, turned it on and ignored the cacophony of sounds signaling missed calls, voice mails and text messages. They were probably all from Cam. The man was likely on his way here.

                 She punched in Carly’s number and hoped like hell her friends were available.

                 A moment later, Carly’s sunny voice spilled over the line and Pippa sagged in relief.

                 “Pip! How’s it going? Have your lease all straightened out? I have to tell you I’m so excited for you! How did Ashley’s housewarming go? I was so sorry to miss it. I hope she wasn’t too disappointed.”

                 Pippa flinched from the onslaught and waited to get a word in edgewise. “Carly, are you free? I need the girls. This is an emergency.”

                 There was a brief silence and then Carly said, “Pip, are you all right? What’s happened?”

                 “I’ll tell you when we’re all together,” Pippa croaked. “Can you call the others?”

                 “You bet. Oscar’s?”

                 Pippa hesitated. “Yeah, but make sure we get a private table.”

                 “Do you want me to call Ashley?” Carly asked. “Is she still in Greenwich?”

                 As much as Pippa wanted and needed Ashley there, she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. But she was just selfish enough to see if Ashley would make the trip in for her.

                 “See if she can make it,” Pippa said in a low voice. “But make sure… Tell her I want her to be careful.”

                 “If she knows you need her, she’ll be there,” Carly said in a comforting voice. “We’ll all be there, Pip. You know that.”

                 “Yes, I do, and I love you all for it.”

                 “Give me some time to get everything ironed out and then I’ll text you with a time everyone can meet. In the meantime you know you can come over. I only have one appointment this afternoon. You can always hang out here at the salon. I’ll even do your nails.”

                 Pippa smiled. “Thanks, Carly, but I’ll just meet you guys later. I need to figure some stuff out.”

                 Pippa could practically see her friend’s frown.

                 “I’m worried about you, Pip. Be careful, okay? I’ll see you as soon as possible.”

                 Pippa hung up the phone, relief so great she was shaky with it. She had the best friends in the world. Smart friends. They’d be able to help her figure this out.

                 In the meantime, she wasn’t sticking around the apartment in case Mr. Broken Condom decided to make an appearance. The very last thing she wanted right now was to face the potential father of her potential child.





                                      Five

                Pippa lengthened her stride as she neared Oscar’s. There was a mix of snow flurries and tiny pellets of sleet in the air, stinging her cheeks as she walked.

                 She’d hoped the cold would bring her around. Make some of the shock wear off. But she was still reeling from Cam’s phone call and all that was going to help her right now was an emergency session of the girlfriends’ round table.

                 She opened the door to Oscar’s and unwound the scarf she’d hastily thrown around her neck. She scanned the room, relief easing some of the awful tension when she saw her friends already seated in a corner booth way in the back. It was perfect.

                 As she made her way through the maze of tables, Tabitha looked up and waved fiercely. Sylvia, Carly and Ashley quickly turned. Carly rose as Pippa approached.

                 She got hugs from everyone and finally she squeezed into the booth beside Ashley, who looked at her with concern.

                 “What’s wrong, Pip? Carly called us all but she wouldn’t say what was the matter.”

                 “I haven’t told her yet,” Pippa said ruefully. “I may be jumping the gun here, girls. But I’m freaking out and need your help sorting through my options.”

                 “Oh, my God, what is it?” Tabitha exclaimed.

                 Sylvia frowned. She was the older and more serious-minded of the group. Not to mention ultrapractical. She’d have solid advice. Pippa would bet any amount of money on it.

                 Pippa drew in a deep breath. “I could be… Well, there’s at least a slim possibility that I’m pregnant.”

                “What?”

                 Pippa winced as all four of her friends exclaimed at the same time.

                 Ashley’s eyes rounded and she stared at Pippa in question. “Oh, Pip, how sure are you?”

                 “I had a one-night stand the other night.” She glanced up at Ashley and grimaced. “With Cam. We left Ashley’s party together. He took me to his house and we had sex. Lots of sex.”

                 Ashley looked robbed of speech. Sylvia just kept wearing that frown. That damn disapproving frown that reminded Pippa way too much of how a mother would look. Well, Pippa’s mother wouldn’t look that way. She’d congratulate her daughter on snaring a wealthy baby daddy and then tell her to milk him for all he was worth. Not exactly mother-of-the-year material.

                 Oh, Miranda wasn’t evil. She wasn’t even a bad mother. She was just superficial and very mercenary. Pippa supposed she could even admire her mother for being so shrewd when it came to relationships. Miranda Laingley was out for number one and number one only. And she refused to apologize to anyone for it.

                 “I’m not following,” Tabitha said slowly. “Maybe I’m dense here. If you just had sex with him, why on earth are you worried about pregnancy?”

                 “Because one of the condoms broke and the timing is perfect in my cycle,” Pippa replied.

                 “Cam?” Ashley squeaked. “Okay, I knew you were kind of crushing on him, but you and him? Really?”

                 “You needn’t look so flabbergasted,” Pippa muttered. “The attraction was mutual, I assure you.”

                 Ashley looked immediately contrite and threw her arms around Pippa, hugging her tightly. “Of course it was, sweetie. Oh, my gosh, poor you!”

                 “I’m so unbalanced by all of this. The timing couldn’t be worse. Oh, my God, you guys don’t even know this yet. With the pregnancy scare, I just blanked it out, but the lease on the building space fell through. I don’t have a place for my shop. And now this. I’m trying to get my business off the ground. I have no health insurance and I’m in no way prepared to be a mother. I just want to cry, but I know that solves nothing.”

                 “You cry, honey,” Carly said fiercely. “We’ll figure this out.”

                 “You know we’d do anything for you,” Ashley said. “You all helped me so much when I was going through such an awful time with Devon. I can never repay you for that.”

                 Pippa sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that threatened. “You never have to repay me, Ash. I love you. We all do. I love all of you guys.”

                 “When exactly did you have sex?” Sylvia interjected.

                 “Saturday night. All of Saturday night. Well into Sunday morning.”

                 Sylvia reached for Pippa’s hand. “You can go to your doctor and have him advise you of the alternatives.”

                 “I’ll pay for you to go to the doctor, Pip,” Ashley said. “I’ll take you myself.”

                 An uneasy flutter settled into Pippa’s chest. She rubbed absently at the discomfort. It was the way she felt when she imagined taking measures to prevent a pregnancy that could already have begun.

                 “Pippa?” Sylvia asked gently.

                 “Oh, God, I feel so stupid,” Pippa whispered. “I can’t make that kind of decision in an instant. How can anyone?”

                 “Okay, what is your gut telling you?” Carly asked. “What are you afraid of? Is it the pregnancy itself that scares you? Or is it the idea of being an unwed mother and not being able to support yourself and a baby?”

                 “You aren’t making any of it sound appealing,” Pippa muttered.

                 “You don’t have to make a decision right this minute,” Tabitha broke in. “Taking a morning-after pill or getting a shot aren’t your only options. You could totally wait and see if you even are pregnant and then pursue your options then. Women have many choices these days, Pippa.”

                 Ashley squeezed Pippa’s hand and stared urgently at her friend. “If you want this baby, if there is a baby, you have to know we’d help. All of us. You wouldn’t be alone. I just want you to make the best choice for you. But whatever that is, you have our absolute support.”

                 Pippa could no longer hold back the tears. They streamed down her face as she stared at her best friends in the world. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

                 “You forget one important part of the equation,” Sylvia pointed out.

                 Everyone looked at Sylvia.

                 “The father. Obviously you’ll have us, but is he going to take responsibility in this matter?”

                 Pippa nodded. “He would. I have no doubt he would. I told him I’d let him know if I was pregnant and until then to back off. I just had to process all this, you know?”

                 “Yes, honey, we know,” Carly said sympathetically.

                 “This probably sounds crazy to all of you, but from the moment I realized there was a possibility, everything changed for me. I began to imagine this tiny life inside me and even though I could take a pill and it would all go away…” She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure that’s what I want.”

                 She looked up at each friend in turn, but she saw no judgment or condemnation in their eyes. All she saw was unwavering love and support. Determination. Loyalty.

                 “If… If there’s a baby. I think I want it.” She swallowed the knot in her throat and then spoke with more conviction. “I know I want it.”

                 “Take some time to get used to the idea,” Sylvia advised. “There’s no hurry. You don’t have to make up your mind today or even tomorrow.”

                 But Pippa knew the more the initial shock wore off, the more firmly she’d be entrenched in the idea of having and keeping her baby.

                 Her baby.

                 Already she felt fiercely protective of it.

                 Out of the wreckage of her shock and confusion came the very firm realization that she’d never do anything to end the pregnancy. Nor would she ever give up a child she gave birth to. Her possessiveness and the strong surge of love she already felt were shocking in their intensity, especially because she didn’t even know if she was pregnant.

                 If she was, whatever happened, she would keep the child. She’d go to Cam and together they’d work out an amicable solution.

                 Maybe she was being stupidly naive, but until he showed her differently, she was going to believe wholeheartedly in his sense of responsibility.

                 Her hands shook as she raised a glass of water to her mouth. After taking a long drink, she put it back down and then leveled a stare at her friends.

                 “Okay, girls, how long do I have to wait before I can take a pregnancy test?”





                                      Six

                Pippa paced the floor of her living room, trying not to stare at the little stick lying on the coffee table just a few feet away.

                 “It isn’t time yet,” Ashley said when Pippa stopped and hesitated.

                 “Why does it have to take so long?” Pippa exploded.

                 She couldn’t take not knowing another minute. The past weeks had been ones of unimaginable stress with Cam breathing down her neck, asking her every few days if she knew anything yet. The last time he’d asked, she’d all but screamed at him to back off. Maybe he’d finally gotten the hint or maybe she’d just sounded that desperate because he hadn’t been in contact for the past couple of days.

                 The hell of it was, he acted concerned. It almost seemed as though he was acting on the assumption that she was pregnant and had made it his mission to “check on” her frequently.

                 He was making her insane.

                 “It’s only been two minutes,” Ashley soothed. “It doesn’t do any good to sit and stare at it. It won’t make things go any faster.”

                 Pippa sank onto the couch. “You’re right. It’s driving me crazy, though. I just feel it. In my gut. I’m pregnant. And don’t tell me it’s some psychological crap and that I’m imagining all the symptoms. I’m just telling you that I feel different. My boobs are sore. I’m queasy. My smell is off. Weird stuff gets to me. Like the smell of cupcakes. Who the hell gets sick smelling a cupcake?”

                 Ashley smiled. “I don’t think you’re imagining anything, sweetie. Let’s wait for the results and then we’ll tackle the solution together. Okay?”

                 Pippa groaned and closed her eyes. The past three weeks had been a form of torture she never wanted to repeat. She changed her mind from day to day. One day she thought having a baby would be great. She and Ashley would have little playmates. On other days she thought she was solidly out of her mind and was terrified by the prospect.

                 And, well, she felt a little stupid. An unwanted pregnancy at her age? She wasn’t some stupid teenager playing around with unprotected sex. She’d always been so damn careful. Always!

                 She’d never considered herself terribly old-fashioned, but still, she’d preferred to have children within the boundaries of a loving, committed relationship.

                 “Okay, you can look now.”

                 They both stared at the stick on the coffee table like it was an ugly bug neither of them wanted to get close enough to squash.

                 Pippa’s stomach curled into a vicious knot. “You look. I don’t think I can.”

                 Ashley reached over and took Pippa’s hand, squeezing hard. “Just remember, that no matter what the outcome, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

                 Pippa nodded, then slammed her eyes shut as Ashley reached for the stick. She didn’t even want to see Ashley’s reaction. Her heart thundered until she could feel it jumping into her throat.

                 “Pippa,” Ashley said gently. “Open your eyes.”

                 Pippa cracked open her eyes to see Ashley’s solemn expression. Ashley laid the stick back onto the table, her gaze still centered on Pippa.

                 “What?” Pippa demanded, unable to stand it any longer. Ashley’s expression told her nothing. Nothing at all! “Am I pregnant?”

                 “According to the test you are,” Ashley said slowly.

                 Pippa deflated in a whoosh, sagging forward as she reached for the test, wanting to see the confirmation herself. It was a bit blurry and she blinked rapidly to bring it into focus.

                 And there it was. A big, glaring plus sign that pretty much said, Yes, you’re pregnant.

                 “Oh, my God,” she whispered.

                 Ashley looked uneasily at her. “You aren’t going to do something crazy like faint on me, are you?”

                 Pippa managed to close her mouth, but she was numb from head to toe. It was as if Ashley was talking from a mile away and Pippa was having this surreal out-of-body experience. The entire room seemed to slow down and become a big void of white noise.

                 Pregnant.

                 With Cam’s baby.

                 Mr. I Don’t Do Relationships.

                 Mr. I Won’t Call You.

                 As screwups went, this one was epic.

                 She closed her eyes again and groaned. “What am I going to do, Ash? Cam is going to freak. He gave me this long speech about how he didn’t do commitment, it was just sex, blah, blah, blah. A baby is definitely a commitment.”

                 “Take a few days. Let yourself come to terms with the shock. Then talk to Cam,” Ashley advised.

                 “I need to talk to him now.”

                 Ashley frowned. “Pip, you’re upset. You aren’t thinking rationally. The last thing you need is to go up against Cam. He can be… He’s intense, okay? He’ll bulldoze over you.”

                 “No one’s going to bulldoze me. I need to talk to him now. Other than me, this affects him the most. He deserves to know so he can start planning accordingly. It’s not like I’m going to wait a week and then suddenly decide not to tell him. The result will be the same no matter when I talk to him, so why wait? Besides, he’s been blowing up my phone for weeks now. No sense holding off any longer.”

                 Ashley sighed. “I just don’t want you to make any impulsive decisions. He can be persuasive. That’s a nice term for it. He can be ruthless.”

                 “I can hold my own with him. I’m not afraid. This is as much his problem as it is mine. I’ll be damned if I spend the next week agonizing over my future alone. If I suffer, so can he.”

                 A laugh escaped Ashley and her eyes danced merrily. “Okay, you just convinced me that he won’t rip you to shreds and have you for dinner.”

                 “Damn right he won’t,” Pippa muttered. “If he even tries, he won’t ever have to worry about fathering another child.”

                 Ashley laughed again and then impulsively leaned over to hug Pippa. “You know, this is going to be just fine, Pip. We’ll be pregnant together for a little while at least. Devon and I will do anything we can to help, and you have Tabitha, Carly and Sylvia. Oh, and my mother. She views you as another daughter, and when she finds out you’re pregnant, look out. She’ll have you packed in so much bubble wrap you won’t be able to breathe.”

                 Pippa grinned. “I love your mama.”

                 “And she loves you.”

                 Pippa sighed and then rose from the couch. “Not to be rude, Ash, but I need to do this before I end up losing my nerve. I just want to get it over with so I don’t have to live with unnecessary stress.”

                 “Get your coat, then. We’ll ride together over to Cam’s office and then I’ll have the driver take me home.”

                 “Thanks, Ash. For everything. For holding my hand and being with me so I didn’t have to do this alone.”

                 Ashley hugged her again. “I seem to remember a time when you held my hand a lot longer.”

                 “Okay, let’s do this,” Pippa said as she went for her coat.

                * * *

                 Cam sat staring out his office window. There was a mixture of rain, sleet and snow, although soon the temperatures would drop enough that it would turn entirely to snow. His mood was as foul as the weather.

                 He’d largely ignored work even though he’d been a steady presence in the office. He sat in on meetings with Devon and their other two business partners and friends, Rafael de Luca and Ryan Beardsley. Their newest hotel, the flagship resort for the newly formed merger between Tricorp and Copeland Hotels, was coming along at a rapid pace. Things were on the upswing. He should be on top of the world.

                 But the past weeks had been the worst sort of hell as he tortured himself with the thought of Pippa being pregnant. The thought that she wasn’t taking care of herself, that something would happen.

                 Worry, guilt and anxiety had taken over his every waking moment and his dreams, as well. And he only had himself to blame. He should have never given in to such temptation. He damn sure should have been more careful with the birth control. He should have just left Pippa the hell alone.

                 Then he wouldn’t be sitting here feeling gutted with worry over losing something precious for the second time in his life.

                 The fact that he hadn’t heard from her should have reassured him. Because if she was pregnant, he would have heard. She’d promised to let him know, and he trusted her to do that. Nothing about her had led him to believe otherwise.

                 But the longer he went hearing nothing, the crazier he got.

                 It had become a regular habit since their night together for him to reach into his desk drawer—the only one he locked—and pull out a small folding picture frame.

                 It contained two photos. One of Elise and one of Colton.

                 He stood staring at them now, his fingers tracing the lines of Elise’s smiling face. Colton was merely a day old in his picture. Tiny. Wrinkled. Still red and he had a misshapen cone head, but Cam had never seen such a beautiful sight in his life.

                 All these years later, just looking at the two people he’d loved and lost had the power to stop him breathing.

                 He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t bear it. He didn’t want to set himself up for that kind of agony. He’d never wished for anything as hard as he wished for Pippa not to be pregnant.

                 With each day that passed without him hearing from her, some of his tension eased. He could breathe a little easier.

                 She wasn’t pregnant. He had to believe that.

                 His secretary buzzed him, interrupting his thoughts.

                 “Mr. Hollingsworth, there is a young woman here to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment.”

                 “Did you get her name?” Cam asked impatiently.

                 His secretary put him on hold to inquire. Why the hell hadn’t she asked already? He was about to tell her he wasn’t to be disturbed when she came back on.

                 “Pippa Laingley. She seems sure you’ll agree to see her.”

                 There was a disdainful sniff in Mrs. Milton’s voice that told Cam she’d probably already tried to get rid of Pippa.

                 “She would be right. Send her in at once.”

                 Cam shot to his feet, his gut in knots as he fixed his gaze on the door. A moment later, Pippa showed herself in, pausing at the threshold as she searched the room for him.

                 He watched her closely, examining her every nuance, searching for a sign that she was in some way…different. His hands knotted into tight fists but he kept them behind his desk, not wanting her to see how on edge he was. His instinct was to go to her. He wanted to haul her into his arms and hold on tight. Promise her that things would be all right. But he’d learned long ago that nobody could make those promises.

                 He had to play this cool if he had a prayer of making it through this encounter.

                 “Pippa,” he greeted. “Sit down. Please. Would you like something to drink?”

                 As she drew closer, he could see the paleness of her features. The shadows under her eyes. She even looked as though she’d lost weight. With sudden guilt, he realized the past weeks had been far more stressful for her than they had been for him.

                 “I hope I’m not interrupting something important,” she said quietly. “I had to come and see you right away.”

                 The knot grew larger in his stomach and he swallowed hard so his voice wouldn’t crack.

                 “Not at all. I’m all yours. What would you like to discuss?”

                 He cringed at the obliviousness in his tone. No one was that stupid. Denial didn’t make everything go away. Dread mounted with every breath until he wanted to just yell at her to say what it was she wanted to say.

                 “I’m pregnant,” she said baldly.

                 Something inside him withered and died. Dismay weighed down on him like the heaviest of burdens. Grief welled deep in his chest and he stood there, motionless, because if he so much as twitched, he’d crack and crumble right there in front of her.

                 Finally managing to find his voice and his composure, he asked, “Are you certain?” But he knew she was. There was no denying the truth in her eyes. If only he could go back.

                 She nodded grimly, then hesitated. “As certain as I can be without a doctor’s confirmation. I took a drugstore test. They’re supposed to be ninety-nine percent accurate, or something like that.”

                 He cleared his throat. “I’m sure it’s right. We knew it was a distinct possibility.”

                 She stood there, her hands shoved into her coat, her uneasiness obvious.

                 “Are you all right? Have you been well?”

                 He hated the distance in his voice even as he embraced it, wanted it. He didn’t want the intimacy that two people who’d created a child should have and enjoy. He hated that she’d already adamantly turned down his offer—or rather, his demand—that she move in with him. Not that he could blame her. He was certain he came across as some unbalanced freak. Pushing her away, then yanking her back.

                 But as badly as he didn’t want to allow himself any sort of closeness with her, he had to be certain she was provided for. That she had everything she needed, the best medical care, emotional and physical support. He couldn’t have anything happen to her…their…his child. Never again.

                 Maybe it was the coldness of the arrangement that had put her off. Maybe she wanted…more. He cringed even as he thought it, but marriage? Maybe it was the best solution. A practical solution. She’d certainly benefit and he’d get what he most wanted. Peace of mind.

                 “I’m just tired. And worried,” she admitted. “It will be better now, regardless. It’s just a relief to finally know so that decisions can be made.”

                 Alarm skittered up his neck, prickling every one of the hairs. “Decisions? What kind of decisions?”

                 She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. He really wished she’d take that damn coat off but he wasn’t certain he wanted her to stay. He damn sure knew he didn’t want her to leave. What a mess this entire situation was.

                 Deciding to take charge, he took a step back from his desk and turned sideways, keeping her in sight. “We have a lot to work out. I will have a lawyer draw up papers. We should think about living arrangements.”

                 She held up a hand to stop the flow of conversation. Her other hand went to her temple and rubbed even as she shook her head.

                 “I refuse to have any sort of a conversation about my future or your future or the baby’s future in some damn office where who knows what can be overheard. I’m still struggling to come to terms with this. I just thought you should know, so that maybe you’d have time to come to grips with this, as well. I thought we could talk later. After we’ve both had time to think. I just… I just needed to tell you. I couldn’t wait.”

                 “I don’t think—”

                 She raised her gaze to meet his and her eyes sparked with quick anger. “I don’t care what you think. I’m going now. If you’d like to discuss this later, you can come to my apartment. Right now I’m going to have lunch. Alone. I’ll be home by six.”

                 If she’d just been snappish and churlish he probably would have wanted to wring her neck. But what he saw was a woman valiantly trying to maintain control. She was rattled—every bit as rattled as he was—and it looked as if she would shatter at any moment.

                 He couldn’t push her. It would be unconscionable. Even as the thought of allowing her to walk out without having anything settled made his stomach knot. It was all he could do to slowly nod his agreement.

                 “All right,” he said quietly. “I’ll be at your apartment at six. Don’t worry about dinner. I’ll bring something.”





                                      Seven

                It shouldn’t have surprised Pippa to find Cam waiting for her on the stoop of her apartment, but when she looked up and saw him there, her eyes widened in shock. Then she checked her watch, wondering if she’d lost more time than she’d thought on the walk home. But nope, he was just really damn early.

                 He was wearing a long coat, but no hat or scarf, and his hair was damp from the drizzle that still couldn’t decide on whether it wanted to be snow or not. His mouth was drawn into a grim line, but his expression softened when he saw her. She could swear she saw relief glimmering in his eyes.

                 She quickly dug into her pocket for her keys and mounted the steps. He moved to the side, frowning as she fumbled with the lock.

                 “Did you walk all this way?”

                 She pushed open the door, welcoming the instant warmth. Cam came in behind her and helped her with her coat before removing his. She started to take them, but he shook his head and asked, “Where do you want them?”

                 She gestured toward the closet door. “There is fine.”

                 She waited until he’d finished and then led him into the living room.

                 “You didn’t answer my question. Did you walk all the way home in the rain? It’s frigid out there.”

                 “Just the last ten blocks. I rode with Ashley to your office and then hopped a cab to the restaurant where I had lunch. There was little sense in getting one home since it’s so close.”

                 His frown didn’t go away but he eased his large frame into one of her too-small chairs. He looked enormous in her tiny living room. His presence overpowered everything else and she had the instant sensation of not being able to breathe.

                 He seemed nervous and on edge. Guilt for her earlier unreasonableness ate at her. She’d been a bitch with the way she’d dumped the news on him at his office and then left in a snit.

                 He dragged a hand through his hair, then glanced her way again. “I know I’m here early, but perhaps you’ll understand my impatience to get this matter settled.”

                 “Settled?” she echoed. She eased down onto the edge of the couch. She should be offering him a drink or…something…but somehow it seemed silly because neither of them cared for observing social niceties at the moment. “I don’t see that this will ever quite be settled. It’s not something to be settled.”

                 He sat forward, his body language tense and impatient. He dragged a hand through his hair several more times as he seemed to be trying to figure out what to say next.

                 “I’d like to know your plans.”

                 She gave a jerky laugh, then closed her eyes because she was teetering on full-on bitch mode again. “You and me both. You have to give me a break, Cam. I only just found out this morning.”

                 “Do you want the baby?”

                 “Yes!” she said fiercely. “Yes,” she said again, calmer this time. “I’ve battled that question constantly over the past weeks, and no matter how stressed, worried, panicky or dismayed I may currently be, I do want this baby.”

                 Was it relief that flashed in his eyes? It was hard to tell because the rest of him was so intense.

                 She rose, unable to sit still another moment. She paced away, keeping her back to him for a long second before finally turning to face him once more.

                 “I don’t have a plan, Cam. Does anyone ever plan for something like this? Obviously I’m going to need your help. I don’t have health insurance.”

                 “You’ll have the best available care,” he cut in.

                 Her shoulders sagged forward. “Thank you. I’ve been trying to get my business started and health insurance is one of those pesky little details I haven’t sorted out yet.”

                 His expression was somber, his eyes serious. “You won’t have to worry there. I’ll want you and our child to be well taken care of.”

                 Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He seemed to be taking it all very well, and moreover he was being exceedingly accommodating.

                 “I don’t expect you to support me,” she said quickly. “The health care is more than generous. I have some savings. It’s enough until I get my business up and running.”

                 She paced back and forth as she assimilated her thoughts. The very last thing she wanted was for him to think she expected a gravy train since she was having his child. There’d be too many damn strings attached anyway.

                 “Surely we can work out a suitable arrangement between us.” She looked up then to find him staring at her. “Will you want to be…involved? With the pregnancy, I mean. Some men aren’t interested. Well, Devon is with Ashley, but I know some have no desire to go to things like doctor’s appointments and stuff like that, and it’s okay, really.”

                 She was babbling endlessly and the strange thing was, the more she talked, the angrier he seemed to get. His brows drew together until his face resembled a thundercloud.

                 “Just wait a damn minute. I will be involved. I have the right to be involved in this pregnancy.”

                 She blinked. “Well, okay. I wasn’t saying you couldn’t be. Just that I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be.”

                 His expression grew fiercer. “You thought wrong.”

                 “Cam, look. I’m not too sure what I’m doing here. I’m trying to be civilized and cooperative, but you’ve got to help me. You’re sitting there glaring at me and I have to tell you I’m this close to completely losing my mind.”

                 The words rushed out in shaky succession and her hands trembled as she clasped them in front of her.

                 Cam cursed softly and rose to stand in front of her. “Sit down. Please.”

                 She hesitated only a moment before allowing him to guide her back to the couch. He curled his hand around hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

                 “Now, here’s what I think we should do. First we’ll get you to a doctor so that we can make sure you’re in good health and everything is okay with your pregnancy.”

                 She nodded. That much she could deal with. Going to the doctor was a logical first step. At least one of them was capable of rational thought.

                 “Then I think we should get married.”

                 So much for rational thought.

                 Before she could ask him if he’d lost his mind he put a finger to her lips. Then he heaved in a deep breath almost as if he was having to convince himself every bit as much as her.

                 “Just hear me out. We can get married, have separate living arrangements—or rather, quarters. My house is large enough for us to share without tripping over each other. You’d have your space. You’d be provided for. But most important, I could be assured that you and the baby were safe.”

                 She gaped incredulously at him. “Are you insane?”

                 His eyes narrowed.

                 She yanked her hand away from his and pushed upward to her feet. The room was too small. She felt caged and like her world was spiraling out of control.

                 “Don’t be unreasonable, Pippa.”

                 She swung around. “Unreasonable? Cam, three weeks ago you told me in no uncertain terms that you wouldn’t call me, that this was just sex and you didn’t do commitment. Well, guess what. Marriage is a big freaking commitment!”

                 “I wasn’t suggesting we have a relationship,” he said tightly.

                 Oh, this was just going from bad to worse.

                 “What are you suggesting, then?”

                 “A mutually beneficial partnership. You and our child will be well provided for and I’ll have peace of mind.”

                 Her brow furrowed. “Peace of mind for what, Cam? I feel like there’s something huge I’m missing here. You keep harping on wanting to be sure me and the baby are safe. That we’re provided for. Look, I appreciate that. More than you could possibly know. It touches me that you aren’t turning the other way. I just don’t understand your adamancy here. What are you so afraid of?”

                 Silence fell. So pronounced that she could hear them both breathing. Pain flashed in his eyes and his lips tightened. Then as if someone had flipped a switch, his face became impassive. His expression gave nothing away.

                 “Isn’t that enough?” he finally asked. “That I’m willing to step up here? That I want you and our child to have the protection of my name and everything else that goes with it?”

                 Slowly she shook her head. “No. It’s not enough.”

                 “It was damn well good enough for you three weeks ago,” he growled. “You didn’t want anything but a night of sex, either, so don’t make me out to be the bastard here.”

                 “This isn’t about you!”

                 It came out as a near shriek and she put both hands to the sides of her head in frustration. For a moment she stood there, eyes closed, her nostrils flaring as her breaths blew out in angry puffs.

                 When she reopened her eyes, Cam was staring at her, concern etched into his brow. “Pippa…” he began.

                 “No, just listen to me for a minute. Please,” she begged. “You made yourself clear before we went to bed together. You were honest. I was honest. But things have changed in a huge, huge way. What I wanted then isn’t what I want now. And no, I’m not asking you for anything. I need you to understand that. I’ve changed. My priorities have changed.

                 “You were right. That night I wanted sex. With you. I was attracted to you. I wasn’t looking for more. A relationship isn’t what I want or need at this stage of my life. But I’m pregnant now. And there is no way I’m going to shortchange myself or my child by entering into a cold, loveless relationship for the purpose of convenience. When I get married, it’s going to be to a man who loves me and is willing to be a full-time father to my child. I need those things. Especially now.”

                 “I can’t give you that,” Cam said flatly.

                 “And I’ll never settle for anything less,” she said quietly.

                 He shot off the couch and turned away, his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. “I’ll be damned if I watch you marry another man when you’re pregnant with my child.” He turned back around, raw anger lighting his eyes. “I have a right to fatherhood, Pippa. You can’t take that from me. I won’t allow it. I’ll fight you with every breath I have.”

                 Some of her frustration fled. She took a step forward and put her hand gently on his arm. He flinched underneath her touch but she curled her fingers tightly into his skin. There was something terrible and painful in his eyes. Something that knotted her stomach and made her want to soothe some of the torment she sensed within him.

                 “I’d never take that from you, Cam,” she said softly. “I’m merely giving you reasons why I won’t settle for a relationship like the one you’re offering.”

                 “I want my child safe,” he gritted out.

                 “So do I. I love this baby already. I’ve lain awake at night imagining its future. I’d never do anything that wasn’t in his or her best interests.”

                 “Then let me take care of you both. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Move in with me. If you won’t marry me so my child has my name, then at least move in with me so you’re both provided for.”

                 She wondered if he even knew that he was nearly pleading with her. As vehement as he was that he could never give her what she wanted or needed from a relationship, he seemed just as determined to tie her to him.

                 She let her hand slide down his arm until she caught his fingers and laced them with hers. “If I agreed to this, I could never respect myself. If I have a daughter, I want her to know she never has to settle for second best or nothing at all. If I’m going to teach her to be strong and resilient and self-reliant, I can hardly have settled in my own life.”

                 He tensed again as if to argue, but she squeezed his hand. “No, listen to me, Cam. Neither of us wanted this. We sure didn’t plan it. Think about what you’re doing here. Our emotions are heated. Neither of us are thinking straight. Don’t do something we’ll both regret. That speech you gave me three weeks ago speaks to the heart of you. That’s what you want. Not marriage. Not the inconvenience of a wife underfoot when the last thing you want is commitment. Because you know what? Sooner or later I’ll resent you for not being able to give me what I want. And it’ll eat away at me until I hate you for it. What kind of environment is that for our child?”

                 His lips thinned. He looked as though he wanted to argue further. But he remained silent, his hand in hers as they stared intently at each other.

                 “I’m willing to let it go for now,” he said grudgingly. “But there are things that I will want to do to ensure your safety and you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

                 She lifted an eyebrow in question. “What on earth is your obsession with safety? I can’t live in a bubble. You can’t hover over me for the next eight months.”

                 “The hell I can’t.”

                 “What are you so afraid of?”

                 It was the second time she asked the question and for a moment she thought he might actually respond.

                 But he went silent again, his eyes darkening.

                 “Will you at least let me move you into a more secure apartment?” he asked.

                 She shot him an incredulous look. “What’s wrong with the apartment I have?”

                 “It opens to the street. There’s no security. The steps are dangerous, particularly in winter.”

                 She blew out a frustrated breath and shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with this apartment. And by the time I’m bigger, winter will be long gone. I like my apartment. I like the location. This is the area where I want to try to start my café. Besides, I can’t afford more than what I have right now.”

                 “I don’t give a damn what you can afford.”

                 “Well, I do. I can’t just halt my life and allow you to sweep in and take care of me until the baby’s born. What would I do afterward?”

                 “I wouldn’t just quit because the child was here,” he said in outrage.

                 “Please just stop,” she begged. “We’re getting nowhere. I’m tired. I’m stressed. I honest to God want to go to bed and cry.”

                 He looked horrified by the possibility. Instant regret flashed across his face, and she knew, she knew deep down, that they weren’t really the two people who stood here so volatile and on edge. They had been pushed beyond their endurance. The past weeks had put enormous strain on them both. They just needed time. And distance. A better perspective. Anything but standing here in her apartment arguing endlessly.

                 “I think you should just go now,” she said gently. “We both have a lot to process and we’re both too raw to have a sane, intelligent conversation. We’re going to have a long eight months together. Let’s not start it off by arguing endlessly over details.”

                 “I’m sorry,” he said gruffly.

                 To her surprise he pulled her into his arms. She rested her forehead against the hollow of his throat and closed her eyes.

                 “I didn’t intend this to happen,” he said in a quiet voice. “I would have given anything at all for it not to. But it’s a reality and it’s something we must both come to terms with. Like you, I want this child very much. I have to know you’re both safe. Grant me that at least.”

                 She nodded against him before pulling away.

                 He grimaced and checked his watch. “I didn’t bring dinner as I said I would. I was in too big a hurry to get here. I know you’re tired and upset, but perhaps we could order in and have a quiet dinner together.”

                 “Would it offend you if I only wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep? Fatigue is killing me so far.”

                 He looked as though he might argue and then he simply nodded, touching her cheek before he walked past her to the door.





                                      Eight

                “So when exactly were you going to tell me the news?” Devon asked in an irritable voice.

                 Cam turned to find his friend leaning against the door frame of his office.

                 Even though they shared a suite of offices, Cam hadn’t seen his friend in quite some time. With his other partners, it was understandable—ever since they’d gotten married, Rafe and Ryan spent most of their time overseeing projects on their respective islands where they’d settled with their wives. But Cam had to admit that he’d avoided Devon ever since the night he and Pippa had left Ashley’s housewarming. Pippa was very good friends with Ashley, and Ashley was nothing if not intensely loyal. She’d probably already filled Devon’s head with all the ways in which Cam was a first-rate jerk.

                 Cam sighed and motioned Devon in with a wave of his hand. Devon ambled forward and dropped into one of the chairs in front of Cam’s desk.

                 “Well?”

                 Cam swore under his breath and took a seat in his leather executive’s chair. “Well, what? I’m sure you know the whole bloody story by now. With the way Pippa’s avoiding me, you probably know more than I do at this point.”

                 Devon raised an eyebrow. “Avoiding you? Don’t tell me that fatalistic charm of yours is an epic fail?”

                 “Charm has nothing to do with it,” Cam bit out.

                 “Evidently.”

                 Cam sighed. “Did you just come to put the screws to me or do you actually need something?”

                 “More like I was wondering why my best friend doesn’t bother to tell me he knocked up my wife’s best friend.”

                 Cam winced and closed his eyes. “Christ, Dev, you think I set out to do it on purpose? You of all people should know this is the very last thing I’d ever want.”

                 Devon slowly nodded. “Yes, I do know. Which is why I found this all a bit strange.”

                 “It was supposed to be a one-night thing. I was attracted to her. She was attracted to me. Things kind of came to a head the night of your housewarming and we went to my place.”

                 “You brought a woman back to your cave? I knew you had the hots for her but didn’t think you were serious about taking her back to your place.”

                 The utter disbelief in Devon’s voice annoyed Cam. It wasn’t as though the decision was earth-shattering.

                 “It made no sense to drive back into the city and get a hotel or go back to her place when my house was a quarter mile away.”

                 “Of course,” Devon said mockingly.

                 “Whatever,” Cam muttered. “The point is, this was not planned. In fact, the effort was made to prevent it. Unfortunately, the damn condom broke and here we are, both about to be parents. She isn’t any more thrilled about it than I am. I mean, with the way it happened. Hell, I’m making it sound like neither of us wants this baby. We do. We just don’t agree… Well, we don’t agree on anything so far.”

                 “I’m sorry to hear that,” Devon said sincerely.

                 Cam waved the sympathy away. It did him no good at this point. “Have you seen her? Has Ashley said anything about her at all? She’s avoiding me and it’s starting to piss me the hell off.”

                 Devon cleared his throat. “Pippa was out at the house the other night. She’s pretty upset at the moment.”

                 Cam sat forward. “Upset about the pregnancy? Has she changed her mind about having the baby?”

                 Devon held up his hand. “Slow down. Nothing like that. As far as I know, she’s taking the pregnancy very well. Things aren’t going so well for her business plans, though. Apparently the lease she’d signed for her shop fell through and she’s not having any luck finding anything else suitable. She’s on a pretty tight budget, and now with a baby on the way, she’s starting to panic.”

                 Cam swore long and hard. “Damn fool, stubborn, mule-headed female. All she had to do was agree to marry me. Or move in with me. She had options. A hell of a lot of options.”

                 Devon stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Marry you? Move in with you?”

                 “I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m obviously out of my mind. But damn it, Dev, all I can think about is what if something happens? Something I could prevent? I just need…”

                 “I know, man,” Devon said softly. “So what are you going to do?”

                 “Hell if I know,” Cam muttered. “What is there to do? She doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. At least, not yet. And I’ve tried—really tried—to give her the space she seems to want and need, but I’m getting impatient here. I’ve tried to call her. Arrange dinner. She always has something else to do. She was supposed to tell me when her next doctor’s appointment is but so far I’ve heard nothing. I need to know she’s safe and is taking care of herself and the baby. How can I do any of that when she won’t agree to see me?”

                 “Try letting go of the past and stop allowing it to overshadow every single thought and decision. You can’t change the past, but you can sure screw up your future.”

                 Red-hot rage clouded Cam’s vision. His fingers curled into tight fists and he sat there, refusing to even look at his friend because he knew Devon meant well but he also knew he’d do or say something he’d regret if he wasn’t careful.

                 How the hell could Devon possibly understand? He wanted to tell Devon that he wouldn’t be so quick to give advice if something happened to Ashley and their child, but he couldn’t be so cruel as to even make Devon contemplate such a future. He wouldn’t do it to his worst enemy.

                 “I’m sorry,” Devon said, regret heavy in his voice. “No one expects you to ever forget. I just think at some point you have to be willing to move forward and take a chance again.”

                 Cam nodded curtly, still refusing to look Devon’s way.

                 “Look, if it’s any consolation, Pippa is mostly devoting her time to trying to get her business started. Ashley’s been helping her come up with ideas. I doubt her avoidance is personal. She’s stressing because now that she’s pregnant, she feels even more pressure to get her business off the ground so she can provide for her child.”

                 “She wouldn’t have to stress if she’d just accept help from me,” Cam growled.

                 “Have you offered? And I mean in a no-strings kind of way?”

                 “Maybe my mistake is in asking her. It occurs to me that when given the opportunity to say no, women will, if for no other reason than to be contrary.”

                 His mood brightened considerably as he warmed to the idea that had just taken root.

                 “The trick is not to ask but just do. Wouldn’t you agree, Dev?”

                 Devon gave him an uneasy look. “You’re on your own, man. Don’t ask me to get involved. I’m not going to help pave the way for you to have your nuts painfully removed.”

                 “Chicken,” Cam drawled.

                 “Hell, yeah. I’m chicken. I know what side my bread is buttered on. I’ve discovered in a very short time that Ashley’s happiness or sadness has a direct bearing on my own.”

                 For a moment pain sliced through Cam’s chest, robbing him of breath. He envied Devon with a ferocity that left him bereft. Devon was happy. He’d discovered the joys of marriage and the love of a woman. He was looking forward to fatherhood with the innocence of a man who didn’t realize that happiness was fleeting. That everything could change in a moment’s time. And that you could go from being on top of the world to hell in the blink of an eye.

                 Cam knew. And if he had any say in the matter, he’d never know that kind of pain again.

                 “But I’ll wish you luck,” Devon said cheerfully. “If nothing else, you’ll provide me with entertainment.”

                 Cam sat back in his chair. “You underestimate me.”

                 Devon studied him for a long moment and then pushed forward in his chair. “What exactly do you want here, Cam? You say you don’t want a relationship. Don’t want commitment. Don’t want anything resembling a permanent situation. And yet you’re pursuing Pippa relentlessly and are frustrated by the fact that she’s giving you precisely what you want, which is a pass on all of the above-mentioned things.”

                 Cam’s eyes narrowed. It was a damn good question and one he didn’t have a ready answer to. Nor did he really want to examine all the reasons why he was pulling marriage proposals out of his ass. “I want to do everything in my power to make sure she and my child are safe and taken care of.”

                 Devon sighed. “You can’t protect them from everything. Bad things happen. You can’t live your whole life expecting disaster.”

                 For Cam, the conversation was over. He ignored Devon’s remarks and steered the conversation to business. But Pippa was very much on his mind, and even as he discussed the latest progress on the resort in St. Angelo, he was already formulating his idea on how to rein Pippa in.

                 The sooner he was certain of her safety and well-being, the faster his own life would get back to normal. And he’d keep telling himself that until he damn well believed it.





                                      Nine

                Pippa dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat and hunched her shoulders forward as she hurried down the sidewalk toward her apartment. Snow flurries blew furiously around her and the wind cut ribbons across her body, chilling her to the bone.

                 She clamped her elbow down on her purse when the wind blew it up and then readjusted the strap over her shoulder so it was crossways over her body.

                 It had been a dismal day in a long line of dismal days, and to make matters worse she was battling morning sickness and overwhelming fatigue. It disgusted her how much she needed to sleep in order to feel human.

                 She rounded the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. Just two more blocks and she’d be home. As soon as she got inside her apartment, she was going to put on her jammies, curl up with a cup of hot chocolate and then sleep for about twelve hours.

                 What a party animal she was. She was one happening chick. From having endless energy and being able to function on just a few hours of sleep a night to not being able to hold up her head unless she got about fourteen hours in. Pregnancy had turned her into a pathetic, boring lump.

                 She was so deep into her thoughts that she wasn’t immediately aware of the car pulling to a stop on the street beside her. When she did notice, her heart lurched and she stepped hastily back. Just as a hand curled around her elbow.

                 She let out a startled cry and then quieted when she saw who it was who held her.

                 “Cam, you scared the life out of me!”

                 “Get in,” he said tersely. “It’s freezing out here.”

                 “It’s just a block and a half to my apartment!”

                 Ignoring her, he steered her toward the open car door and she sighed as a wave of warm air hit her square in the face. Okay, so maybe riding the rest of the way wouldn’t hurt. She slid across the seat, Cam getting in after her. He shut the door and gestured for the driver to pull away.

                 “You haven’t returned my calls,” he said in a clipped voice. “You have an uncanny knack of never being at home when I come by. Your friends, amazingly enough, have no idea where you are at any given time.”

                 The sarcasm made her flinch, but guilt made her wince even more.

                 When the car didn’t slow as they passed her apartment, she leaned forward. “Right here! My apartment is right here.”

                 “We aren’t going to your apartment.”

                 She sank back against the seat and sighed wearily. “Look, I know I’ve been avoiding you. I’m not offering any excuses. But, Cam, please, I cannot deal with you tonight. I’m tired. I’m in a terrible mood. I’ll only make you crazy.”

                 To her surprise, he cracked a smile. “At least you’re honest.”

                 The sudden change in his demeanor unbalanced her. He was so damn…appealing…when he smiled.

                 “Where are we going?” she asked irritably.

                 “Somewhere I think your mood will be much improved.”

                 “Cryptic bastard,” she muttered.

                 To her annoyance, his grin widened. But just as quickly, his brows drew together and he turned to face her fully. There was no anger in his eyes, but there was most definitely determination. Oh, yes, he was clearly telling her that he’d finally cornered her cowardly butt and he wasn’t going to let her go this time.

                 “What gives, Pippa? Why won’t you return my calls? I thought we had an agreement. I don’t even know when your doctor’s appointment is. Or have you already been?”

                 She frowned. “Of course I haven’t. I told you that I’d let you know so you could come with me.”

                 “You said a lot of things that haven’t exactly come to fruition,” he said darkly.

                 “I’ve been busy,” she burst out in frustration. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, including how the hell I’m going to support a baby. Much less myself. I’m stressed beyond your imagination, Cam. Cut me some slack here. Your life may not change so much but mine sure as hell will.”

                 His eyes grew stormy and his lips tightened into a fine line. She knew she’d gone too far. She knew she’d been careless with her words. She wanted to bite at someone and he was the unfortunate victim because he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not that it was entirely her fault. She could be at home where she wouldn’t annoy anyone but herself. But he’d played Mr. Kidnapper and Mr. One Thousand Questions, so in her mind he deserved what he got.

                 Only he didn’t deserve it and she knew it. He’d made the effort. He was doing and saying all the right things. Sort of. But it had been hard for her to come to terms with her pregnancy and what it meant for her. How did anyone do a complete one-eighty in their life and just keep on trucking? Maybe some people managed it, but Pippa wasn’t one of them.

                 “You think you’re the only one struggling with this, Pippa? Let me tell you, it sucks not knowing what the hell is going on with you. It sucks not to know if you’re okay, if the baby’s okay, if there still is a baby. Would you like living with that kind of uncertainty?”

                 Guilt gnawed at Pippa like a hungry beast. He hadn’t deserved her avoidance, and maybe, just maybe, if she had been more willing to include him, they could have tackled this whole thing together instead of her worrying incessantly about how she was going to manage alone.

                 “I’m sorry, Cam.”

                 She leaned forward and then threw her arms around his broad shoulders, hugging him tightly. He stiffened at first as if he had no idea how to take the impulsive gesture. Then he gradually relaxed and put his arms around her, as well.

                 She hugged him fiercely, burying her face in his neck. It felt good to just hold on to someone stronger than herself because she needed that support.

                 “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’m no good at this. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you, Cam. I’m so sorry.”

                 He gently pulled away and put a finger to her lips. His eyes were soft and so focused on her that she shivered. “How about we just make a pact going forward,” he said gruffly. “Don’t leave me out of the loop and stop avoiding me.”

                 She nodded, and settled back into his arms.

                 He stroked her shoulders in a soothing pattern and then said close to her ear, “I’ve got a surprise for you that I think will alleviate some of this stress you’ve placed yourself under.”

                 She pulled away, hating to leave that comforting haven, but she wanted to know what the heck he was talking about. He must have seen the obvious question in her eyes because he shook his head.

                 “We’ll be there soon. It isn’t far from your apartment.”

                 With that cryptic remark, he closed his mouth and settled back against the seat. He pulled her into his side and directed his gaze out his window as they navigated through traffic.

                 Just a few more blocks up, the driver slowed and pulled to the curb in front of an upscale cluster of retail businesses. Cam opened his door, stepped into the cold and then reached back for Pippa’s hand to help her out.

                 As soon as she stepped onto the pavement, her gaze went to the shop on the corner of the busy intersection. Her mouth fell open as she saw the sassy storefront sign.

                 Pippa’s Place. Catering Done Your Way.

                 It was sort of perfect. Hot pink. Flashy. Contemporary. And girlie! It fit her to a T.

                 She dropped his hand and surged forward to stare into the window. The inside was immaculate. Already set up with a seating area to the left and a large counter with a display for all the yummy things she’d fill it with. There were two registers at each end of the counter.

                 “Holy crap, Cam, what have you done?”

                 She whirled around to see him standing there, a smug smile of satisfaction on his face.

                 “Would you like to go in and see if the rest meets with your approval?”

                 He held up the keys, dangling them in front of her like the proverbial carrot before the donkey.

                 “Oh, my God, yes!”

                 She snatched the keys from him and hurried to unlock the door. She nearly squeaked her delight when a bell above the door jingled, signaling her entrance.

                 The inside was beautiful. The walls had even been decorated with pictures of cupcakes. Cupcakes everywhere. How could he have possibly known what suited her so well?

                 “Ashley helped,” Cam said, as if reading her mind.

                 “I can’t believe you did this,” she whispered.

                 He gestured toward the doorway to the back. “Better go check out your kitchen and see if it passes inspection.”

                 She let her hand slide along the countertop as she rounded the end. She could so see herself inside this place. Could practically smell the mouthwatering delicacies she’d prepare.

                 She burst into the kitchen and came to an abrupt halt as she took in the perfection before her.

                 Lining the surfaces of the countertops were rows and rows of top-of-the-line appliances. There were multiple stainless-steel ovens, two huge refrigerators and a huge freezer in the back.

                 Everything she could possibly want or need was right here. In her kitchen. In her shop.

                 Her knees wobbled. The practical part of her knew she should refuse all of it. She couldn’t afford any of it. She shuddered to even think of what the lease cost. She hadn’t even inquired about this property because she knew it was out of her reach.

                 The other part of her chafed at refusing such a generous gift. Cam had put a lot of time and effort into giving her the perfect place to work. She would be the biggest bitch in the world if she threw it back in his face.

                 “Do you like it?”

                 Her chest caved in at the thread of insecurity in his voice. There was no way she was refusing his gesture. No way she’d put them solidly back to square one again. If he was so willing to try, then she’d damn well do the same.

                 “Like it?” she choked out. “Oh, my God, Cam, I love it!”

                 For the second time, she threw herself into his arms and hugged him with all her strength. He took a step back to steady himself and laughed as she wrapped herself around him.

                 She closed her eyes as relief poured through her. This was the answer to all her problems. She could start work immediately, or at least as soon as she got all the red tape taken care of. But permits and the like were the easy part.

                 “I’ll make this a success,” she said fiercely. “I won’t let your investment go to waste.”

                 Carefully, he extricated himself from her hold and then palmed her shoulders as he stared into her eyes.

                 “This isn’t a damn investment. It’s a gift. I’ve prepaid the rent for two years. Plenty of time for you to get on your feet and start realizing a profit.”

                 “I can’t believe you did this for me,” she said quietly. “After the way I’ve been acting. I don’t know how to thank you. You can’t possibly know how much stress this takes off me.”

                 He sent her an admonishing look. “This gift does come with strings. You’ll give me two promises. One, you’ll stop avoiding me so we can work together on the issue of your pregnancy. Two, you’ll hire enough employees that you won’t be spreading yourself too thin.”

                 A helpless smile worked over her mouth. He was too cute when he was all stern and forbidding. “I promise.” With the money she wouldn’t be spending on a lease, she’d be able to afford to hire actual employees!

                 He hesitated a moment, his hands sliding down her arms in the gentlest of caresses. “I may not be able to give you what you want or deserve, Pippa, but what I can give you is yours without reservation. You carry my child and I’ll do anything at all to keep the both of you safe and happy.”

                 How easy it would be to love this man who swore he had no love to give. He seemed so determined to keep her at arm’s length and yet he exhibited caring at every turn.

                 Unable to resist, she moved into the circle of his arms, leaned up and pressed a kiss to those firm lips. His breath caught and held, his body going tense against hers. No matter what he said, he wanted her. But she refused to use that attraction against him.

                 “Thank you,” she said again, before slipping away.

                 He made a grab for her hand, catching only her fingertips as she stepped back. “Let’s go eat dinner. We have a lot to catch up on and I’d love to hear your plans for the shop.”

                 It was an offer of friendship, one that warmed her even as it left her bereft on the inside. They could have so much more. She ached for more. But it was something at least.

                 Maybe all she’d ever have from him at all.

                 She smiled up at him and squeezed his hand, lacing her fingers more tightly with his. “I’d like that.”





                                      Ten

                The next morning when Pippa left her apartment, she noticed a car parked directly in front of her walkway and a driver leaning against the passenger door. As soon as he saw her, he straightened and reached to open the door to the backseat.

                 “Miss Laingley?” the driver queried. “Mr. Hollingsworth wishes me to drive you to your shop and anywhere else you need to go during the day.”

                 Pippa blew out her breath in a sigh. Okay, this was taking things a bit too far. She’d allowed him to give her the shop. She hadn’t wanted to be ungrateful. But providing her a car and driver when she had only a few blocks to go?

                 As if sensing her hesitation, the driver dug his cell phone out of his pocket and hastily punched a button. Then he thrust it in her direction. She stared back in puzzlement as he closed the distance between them, holding the phone out to her.

                 “He said to call him if it looked as though you’d refuse,” the driver explained.

                 As she took the phone, she heard Cam’s deep voice over the line. She put it to her ear.

                 “Take the car, Pippa. It’s cold, the sidewalks are slippery and it’s supposed to snow later today.”

                 She smiled in spite of herself. There was something about his gruff concern that was endearing. “Cam, you can’t keep doing things like this.”

                 “Can’t I? I thought we came to an agreement last night. Are you already calling off our truce?”

                 Oh, the man was slick. How neatly he turned this back on her. By refusing, she was the bad guy and he was only trying to provide for the mother of his child.

                 “Oh, all right,” she muttered. “But, Cam, quit it. No more. You’ve already done way too much.”

                 His amusement was readily evident as he replied, “I believe that’s for me to decide.”

                 He rang off and she was left standing there holding the phone while the driver waited expectantly for her to get in.

                 Grumbling about hardheaded males, she ducked inside the car and waited for the driver to walk back around to his side. When he got in, he thrust a business card over the seat.

                 “This is my cell number,” he said. “Any time you need to go anywhere at all, no matter the distance, you’re to call me. Mr. Hollingsworth’s orders were quite explicit. He doesn’t want you out in the cold on the sidewalks. Weather’s supposed to get nasty.”

                 She glanced at the card and saw that the driver’s name was John. She shook her head but leaned back as they pulled away. “Okay, John. I’ll be a good girl. Somehow I also think you have orders to rat me out if I don’t use your services.”

                 He had the grace to blush as he glanced in the rearview mirror. “Yes, ma’am, I do. Sorry, but Mr. Hollingsworth pays my wages so I answer to him.”

                 She chuckled. “Far be it for me to be responsible for you losing your job. I promise to call when I need a ride.”

                 He nodded his approval, then refocused his attention on the traffic.

                 It had begun to sleet, and she was suddenly really glad she wasn’t out in it.

                 A few minutes later, he stopped in front of her shop and hurried out to open her door for her.

                 “Remember to call when you’re ready to leave,” he urged as he handed her onto the sidewalk.

                 She waved and made a dash to the door. To her surprise, it was unlocked. Had she been a complete idiot the day before and not locked back up when she and Cam had left? She groaned, wondering if she even had any of those lovely appliances left.

                 She pushed open the door, hit the light switch and then jumped two feet into the air when all her girlfriends popped up from behind the counter and shouted, “Surprise!”

                 She let out a shriek, dropped her keys and then staggered sideways, her hand flying to her chest to calm the rapid uptick in her pulse.

                 “Oh, my God, you guys scared me!”

                 Ashley, Tabitha, Carly and Sylvia hurried around the counter and immediately surrounded her, hugging and fussing over her.

                 Carly squeezed her in a huge hug. “We’re sorry. We just wanted to help you celebrate the new place!”

                 Pippa stepped back and stared into her friends’ excited faces. “How did you even know? And how on earth did you get in?”

                 Ashley smiled. “Cam called me. He thought you might like a surprise. He dropped a key by the house early this morning.”

                 “The place is awesome, Pip!” Tabitha exclaimed. “I can so totally see your customers out here sitting and enjoying your yummy treats.”

                 An insistent honk interrupted the women’s celebration. At first Pippa wrote it off as normal street traffic, but the horn kept blaring and the women turned, frowns on their faces.

                 A young man, who couldn’t be more than twenty, stood outside the door waving frantically to them.

                 “What the heck?” Pippa murmured.

                 “Be careful, Pip!” Sylvia cautioned when Pippa went toward the door.

                 The women crowded around as she opened the door to stare out.

                 The guy grinned, then gestured toward the street.

                 “Oh, my God,” Carly breathed.

                 Pippa stared in shock at the brightly decorated delivery van parked in front of her shop.

                 It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. How on earth could Cam have pulled this off?

                 Just as with her store sign, Pippa’s Place was splashed in hot pink across the side of the white van. There were lavender, yellow and orange flowers surrounding the lime-green tagline: Catering Done Your Way.

                 “Here are the keys,” the guy said with a grin as he held them out to her.

                 She held out her palm, tears filling her eyes as she stared in astonishment at her delivery van. It was too much.

                 Her friends crowded in behind her, hugging and squeezing her as they squealed in excitement.

                 “Let’s go for a ride!” Tabitha suggested.

                 Sylvia’s eyes lit up. “Ohhh, let’s do it!”

                 “Don’t you have to have a commercial license or something?” Pippa asked. “Or any license at all?” she added with a laugh.

                 Ashley chuckled. “How would I know? I think you’re supposed to hire someone to drive it for you, but hey, we should totally try it out.”

                 Pippa grinned, excitement overtaking her. “Okay, let’s do it. Last one in is a rotten egg.”

                 Laughing like hyenas, the women ran to the van, oohing and aahing as they jumped in.

                 Pippa climbed into the driver’s seat and inserted the key into the ignition. Before she cranked the engine, she turned and shot them all pointed glances. “If any of you rats me out to Cam, I’ll murder you. That means you, Ash. He’d have a cow if he knew I was driving around the city without a license. I’d have to endure endless lectures on safety and God only knows what else.”

                 Ash blinked innocently. “Who’s Cam?”

                 “Let’s go, Pip!” Sylvia said from the seat next to Pippa.

                 Pippa started the van and then carefully pulled into traffic.

                 “Turn on the radio,” Carly called from the back. “Put something good on.”

                 “I’ll do the radio. You drive,” Sylvia said as she leaned forward.

                 Soon the van streaked along the streets of the city, the radio blaring as the women laughed and sang along. Okay, so this was the most fun Pippa’d had in longer than she could remember. This pregnancy thing wasn’t so bad. Nothing had changed. Except for the fact she was going to be a mother.

                 But she still had good friends. Her career was finally going places. And some of the worry was gone.

                 She had Cam to thank.

                 Cam, who swore he couldn’t give her a damn thing. Cam, who swore he didn’t do commitment, wouldn’t call and only wanted sex. She nearly snorted. He sure didn’t act like a man who wanted to distance himself.

                 “Let’s drive to Oscar’s for lunch,” Tabitha said. “My treat today. Then we can head back to your shop after and make cupcakes.”

                 Pippa grinned. It sounded like a perfectly wonderful plan to her.

                * * *

                 She LOVED it. You did good, Cam.

                 Cam read the text from Ashley and smiled despite himself before sliding his phone back into his pocket. He felt a pang as he imagined Pippa’s eyes lighting up when she saw the van. He could well picture how beautiful her smile was and how radiant she looked now that she was pregnant.

                 He curled his hand into a tight fist, then rubbed it over his chest in an attempt to dispel the uncomfortable sensation.

                 But it wasn’t something he could wipe away any more than he could wipe Pippa from his thoughts. He was consumed with her every waking moment and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.





                                      Eleven

                Pippa stood on her stoop until she saw Cam’s car coming down the street. Then she hurried to the curb to wait as it came to a stop.

                 She slid into the passenger seat, cupping the sundress she wore firmly to her rounded abdomen so the ends wouldn’t billow up. The city was on the cusp of spring. Still raw and windy, prone to chilly rains and the occasional snow flurry, but today the temps had soared into the sixties and the sun shone brightly, a promise of what was to come.

                 The past few months had been…nice. It seemed too tepid a word, but it fit. Accepting friendship from Cam had been hard—it was still hard. There were times when she could so see them together long-term. Then it was almost as if Cam realized how close they were getting, and he would back off and erect the wall between them once more.

                 Today, though? Today was special, and in her heart of hearts, she hoped their relationship would move forward just a bit. How could it not? Today they’d “meet” their child and for the first time see the tiny little life inside her.

                 “Are you nervous?” Cam asked as he drove toward the clinic where Pippa had her regular checkups.

                 Pippa took a deep breath. “Maybe?”

                 Cam smiled indulgently and reached over to squeeze her hand. “Still want to find out what we’re having?”

                 She nodded. “I do. I have to know. I want to be able to establish that bond early. Figure out a name. I can start buying clothes and decide how I want to decorate.”

                 She didn’t even realize she had drifted off into a dreamy smile until she became aware of Cam watching her.

                 “Have you given thought to what you’d like? Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

                 She grinned ruefully. “Depends on what day you catch me on. Yesterday I was sure I wanted a boy. Today I’m leaning toward a girl. What about you?”

                 His eyes went bleak for a moment. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. Then he attempted a smile, but it was lame at best.

                 “I think I’d like a daughter.”

                 “Really? I thought guys always wanted sons.”

                 His eyes grew dimmer. “No. I think a daughter would be great. A little miniature Pippa. All that dark hair and green eyes.”

                 Her cheeks grew warm and she smiled at how pleased he seemed over the idea of having a daughter who looked like her.

                 A moment later, they pulled into the clinic’s parking garage and Pippa’s stomach burst into nervous flurries.

                 “Oh, my God,” she breathed. “We’re going to find out in just a little while.”

                 Cam smiled faintly, then reached over to squeeze her hand again. “Let’s go do it.”

                * * *

                 Maybe it was her nerves, but Cam looked like he’d rather be anywhere but sitting in the tiny room where the sonogram tech was about to perform the scan. He looked…tormented. There was raw emotion in his eyes and he kept glancing toward the door like he was seriously contemplating bolting for it.

                 She bit her lip and controlled the urge to reach for his hand. He wasn’t even paying her any attention. He kept eyeing the tech and growing more uneasy by the minute. Instead, she took several calming breaths as the tech rolled her gown up and tucked it just over the slight swell of her belly.

                 She flinched when the cool gel smoothed over her skin and then the young man smiled at her as he placed the wand over her belly.

                 She strained closer as the blob took shape on the screen. Tears burned her eyelids when the tech explained that she was seeing the beating heart. She glanced over at Cam to see him equally awestruck. But there was such deep sadness in his eyes that she wondered what he could possibly be thinking.

                 Several long minutes later, the tech moved the wand again. “Ready to see what flavor of baby you’re having?”

                 “Oh, yes,” she whispered.

                 “Let’s take a look here. Hopefully we won’t have a shy one. Oh, hello! No shyness here. Look at the little guy.”

                 Pippa sat forward as she stared in amazement at the tiny appendage that clearly signaled the baby’s sex. “Oh, my God, it’s a boy! Cam, we’re having a son!”

                 Her excitement dimmed when she caught sight of Cam’s expression. And then to her shock, he simply got up and walked out of the room, leaving her on the table with the image of their son still vivid on the monitor.

                * * *

                 Cam walked straight out of the building. He shoved at the door, needing freedom, needing air. Tears burned his eyes and he was desperate to get as far away from anyone as possible.

                 The sunlight assaulted his senses. A cool breeze blew over his face, freezing the unshed tears in place. The knot in his throat was so big he didn’t have a prayer of taking a breath. So he stood there, chest burning, throat so raw that it felt like he’d swallowed a razor.

                 A son. Another son.

                 Why couldn’t it have been a daughter? No threat to the memory of Colton. And it wouldn’t seem so damn much like he was replacing his first son with another. How could he even bear to look at this child, knowing he’d lost one before?

                 He fumbled for his cell, punched in his driver’s number and then gave a terse order for him to collect Pippa from the clinic. He was being the worst sort of ass. He was walking away from her when she needed him the most. But he couldn’t pretend. He couldn’t smile and be excited when he felt like he was dying all over again. He wouldn’t stand there and suck the joy from her.

                 After making sure John would take Pippa home, he turned and walked back to where his car was parked. In the past couple of months, he’d been staying more in the city so he could be closer to Pippa, but right now he wanted more than anything to retreat behind the iron gates of his Connecticut estate.

                * * *

                 “He just left?” Pippa asked in bewilderment.

                 John looked discomfited as he led Pippa to where he’d parked the car. “I believe something urgent came up, Miss Laingley.”

                 “Like what?” she demanded. “What could possibly be more important than this? And he couldn’t simply tell me he had to leave?”

                 The more she pondered the matter, the more pissed she got. She was working herself into a righteous fury as John ushered her into the waiting car. All the way home, she fumed. This should have been special. They should even now be celebrating. Instead, she was on her way home alone not knowing what the hell kind of bug was up Cam’s ass.

                 The past couple of months had been terrific. Cam had lightened up. He had seemed to relax his guard around her and didn’t act so freaking stiff and uptight all the time anymore. They’d had fun together. If nothing else, they had become friends and for the first time Pippa hadn’t looked to the future with gnawing uncertainty that somehow Cam wouldn’t be in it for the long haul.

                 So much for that assumption.

                 What the hell was wrong with him?

                 John pulled up to her apartment but Pippa sat in the backseat for a long moment. Frowning, she leaned forward. “John, where did Cam say he was going? Do you know where he is now?”

                 “I believe he’s returned to Greenwich.”

                 Home? Home? What the ever-loving hell? This big emergency brought him home? Oh, hell, no. She’d had about enough of his volatile moods.

                 She sat back with a bounce. “Take me to Greenwich, John.”

                 John did a double take in the rearview mirror. “Pardon?”

                 “You heard me. Take me to his damn cave.”

                 “Perhaps it would be better if you called first. Mr. Hollingsworth doesn’t like to be disturbed when he’s in residence.”

                 “I don’t give a damn what Mr. Hollingsworth likes,” she said sweetly. “Either you drive me or I’m taking a cab the entire way.”

                 With a resigned sigh, John pulled back into traffic.

                 She stewed for another hour, and by the time they rolled up the long winding driveway of Cam’s home, she was in a foul mood. He’d messed up everything and she was going to hear what his excuse was or else.

                 When John stopped in front of the house, Pippa was out before he could open his own door. She marched up the steps, considered knocking, but then decided if she came all this way she wasn’t going to chance that he wouldn’t answer.

                 She shoved the door open and went inside.

                 “Cam?” she yelled belligerently. “Where the hell are you?”

                 She stood a moment, waiting for him to appear, but she was met by resounding silence.

                 “Cam!” she yelled louder. “Get your ass down here!”

                 A moment later she heard footsteps and then he appeared at the top of the stairs, his brows furrowed.

                 “What the hell are you doing here, Pippa? Is something wrong?”

                 If it wouldn’t take so much effort, she’d march up the stairs and punch him. He had the nerve to act like he’d done nothing?

                 She shook her head, her fingers curling into a tight fist. She was already fantasizing about decking him.

                 “You ruined the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me and you have the nerve to ask if anything’s wrong?”

                 He descended the stairs in a slow, methodical manner, his footsteps sounding ominous in the quiet. When he reached the bottom, he took a few more steps until he was a short distance away and then he stared coldly at her.

                 She shivered under his scrutiny. There was no warmth in his eyes. None of the friendship and caring he’d demonstrated over the past weeks.

                 “What on earth is your problem?”

                 “You came all this way to ask that?”

                 She refused to be put off by the censure in his tone. She closed the distance between them, poking her finger into his chest.

                 “I thought we were friends. I thought you cared a little about me or at least about our child. Friends don’t pull what you pulled today. What were you thinking? You left me alone in that exam room and then had your driver come for me? I want to know what the hell your problem is.”

                 “Not everything is about you, Pippa.”

                 The ice in his voice just served to piss her off more because she knew he was holding back. Knew that something was wrong and he didn’t trust her enough to tell her what it was. But what right did she have to pursue it? They were “friends.” Nothing more. He didn’t owe her anything. It hurt to remind herself of that little fact.

                 “I thought we were at least friends,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

                 She turned away, realizing just how stupid she’d been to come here at all. It was the one place she wasn’t welcome. Had never been welcome since that night when they’d first slept together. He hadn’t been able to get rid of her fast enough the next morning and he’d never, ever brought her back here. They met in the city. Never here.

                 She needed this reminder because she’d come dangerously close to building larger expectations. Creating a fantasyland where she actually had a chance at a future with this man.

                 “Don’t bother coming to the next appointment,” she said stiffly, her back still to him. She began walking to the door and had almost reached it when he caught her hand. She hadn’t even heard him come up behind her.

                 “Pippa.”

                 The single word conveyed a wealth of emotion. Regret. Sorrow.

                 She paused, her hand trembling in his.

                 “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “Please don’t leave like this.”

                 She yanked around, fighting to keep angry, frustrated tears at bay. “Why, Cam? Give me one good reason. You don’t want me here. I don’t even know why we’re pretending to have any sort of a relationship at all. Let’s just cut our losses and get it over with now.”

                 “I don’t like anyone to come here,” he said harshly. “It’s not personal to you. But… Just stay. I’m sorry for the way the appointment went. I was an ass. I ruined your moment.”

                 “Our moment,” she corrected. “It was our moment, Cam. It was our child’s moment when he was revealed to his parents. It was a moment that neither of us should have ever been able to forget, but in all honesty, I now don’t want to remember. Because how will I ever explain to my child that his father walked out the moment it was told to us we were having a son?”

                 Cam flinched and went pale and those vivid blue eyes stared back at her, flashing with so much dark emotion.

                 The tears she’d tried so hard to hold back slid down her cheeks as she stood shaking before him. And then she was in his arms. He hugged her tightly. So tightly she couldn’t breathe. His body shook against her. She could feel his rapid pulse jumping against his skin.

                 “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Pippa. Please just stay. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve this. Forgive me, please.”

                 And then he was kissing her. Hot, breathless, almost desperate. He touched her, frantically, as if his need for her was the most important single thing in the world. Like she was the single most important thing in his world.

                 She felt his sorrow, his uncertainty. It rolled off him in waves. His despair and grief. His regret. There was so much emotion churning inside him that it was tangible and thick in the air.

                 And then his touch became gentler, became more beseeching, almost as if he was begging her not to deny him. To touch him back. To offer him the comfort he seemed to crave.

                 She was unable to remain cold and distant when he was crumbling before her. She kissed him back, her breath hiccuping softly over his lips. And then she slid her palm across the slight bristle of his jaw, cupping his cheek in a simple gesture of acceptance and understanding. Of forgiveness.

                 He swept her into his arms as if she weighed nothing and carried her into one of the downstairs bedrooms. Leaving the door open, he moved to the bed and eased her down onto the mattress.

                 He hung over her, his eyes fierce and hungry. Her breath caught when he came down over her, hard and unrelenting. His mouth claimed hers once more and it was several long seconds before she could breathe again.

                 Impatiently he pulled at her sundress, tugging it free of her body before tossing it aside. He quickly divested her of her underwear until finally she was naked beneath him.

                 Then his expression changed. Some of the darkness faded and he stared down in wonder. Carefully his palms slid over her slim form to the gentle swell of her belly. He cupped it, and then to her shock, he lowered his head and kissed the firm bump.

                 “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

                 Emotion knotted his throat, making the words almost indistinguishable, but the harsh apology hit her right in the heart. Nobody who heard it could possibly think he didn’t regret his actions with all his heart. He was essentially stripped and bare, standing before her starkly vulnerable.

                 She gently wrapped her arms around him to pull him close. “It’s all right, Cam.”

                 She pulled him higher to fuse his mouth with hers. Their tongues flirted and played and then he plunged deeper, overwhelming her with his essence. His body moved possessively over hers, though he was careful not to put his weight on her abdomen.

                 He kissed her neck, in turns gentle and then rougher until she was sure she’d wear marks the next day. He licked and nibbled at her skin, sucking lightly as he made his way lower.

                 When he got to her breasts, he hovered just over one of the tips and then tilted his head up so he could meet her gaze.

                 “Are they more sensitive now?” he asked huskily.

                 He ran his thumb over one crest as he awaited her response. A shudder worked over her body.

                 “Yes, definitely.”

                 “Then I’ll be extra careful.”

                 With infinite tenderness, he slowly ran his tongue over one rigid peak before sucking it into his mouth. She came off the bed, arching helplessly into him as wave upon wave rolled over her.

                 It had been a long time since that careless night between them. She wanted him desperately. The past weeks had been a form of torture. He’d been so attentive and caring, yet there was an almost tangible barrier between them.

                 She was pretty sure this solved nothing, but she longed for physical contact. She needed it.

                 With a blissful sigh, she surrendered to those skilled lips of his.

                 But then he moved down, cupping her belly between his large hands and he proceeded to kiss every inch of the taut flesh until tears burned her eyelids.

                 He moved lower still, spreading her thighs as he settled down on the bed. His mouth found her heat and she nearly came apart on the spot.

                 He cupped her buttocks, holding her in place for his seeking tongue. He took long, sensuous swipes, the roughness of his tongue a contrast to his gentle sucking.

                 Her fingers dug into his hair, and she became more restless, nearly wild as she moved in rhythm with his intimate caresses.

                 “Cam, please,” she begged. “I need you.”

                 His feet were off the bed, and he stood, his hands curled around her legs. He pulled her forward so that her behind rested on the edge of the mattress.

                 “Wrap your legs around me,” he said roughly.

                 As soon as she did, he slid into her.

                 The shock of his hardness made her gasp. Skin on skin. No barriers this time.

                 His groan was a harsh exhalation in the silence.

                 His fingers dug into her hips, pulling her closer to him. Then he released her and smoothed his hands over her belly, his fingers suddenly a lot gentler than they’d been just moments before.

                 “Don’t let me hurt you.”

                 She reached for him, pulling him down so their bodies met and his heat enveloped her. “I know you won’t hurt me, Cam,” she whispered. “Love me.”

                 It was the closest she’d come to spilling what was in her heart. She’d held back because she knew he wouldn’t welcome her feelings.

                 He claimed her mouth. His movements were urgent, a layer of desperation buried deep. His hands were everywhere, caressing, stroking, touching, as if he couldn’t get enough of what he wanted. As if he wanted her closer still.

                 She wrapped her body around him, holding him as he drove deeper inside her. Release wasn’t as important as the intimacy of the moment. The connection between them that was being established.

                 This wasn’t…sex. It was so much more.

                 She kissed the side of his neck and then bit her lip to keep the words she so wanted to say from escaping. Instead, she inhaled his scent and molded her body more fiercely to his.

                 Pleasure was warm and sweet as it slid through her veins. Her release was a slow rise, no sharp edges or tumultuous explosions. Higher and higher she crept until every muscle in her body tensed in expectation.

                 “Cam!”

                 It was a cry of need. It was a plea for help.

                 She felt him in every part of her body. Hard, so very powerful. His muscles bunched and he tensed above her. He whispered her name and she felt him let go.

                 For a long moment he held himself just above her before finally lowering his body to hers.

                 He was like a warm blanket, the very best kind. He pressed his forehead to hers, kissing her with light smooching sounds as their lips met again and again.

                 “Pippa,” he whispered.

                 It conveyed a wealth of things, that single word.





                                      Twelve

                For a moment after Pippa awoke she was disoriented. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was and that she’d fallen asleep. She rolled, searching for a clock, and then breathed a sigh of relief. She’d napped for only an hour.

                 She sat up, glancing around the dark room. Cam was nowhere to be found, but she was starting to suspect he didn’t stick around after sex.

                 With a sigh, she got up to look for her clothing, but then she saw that a robe had been laid out on the bed. Apparently he wasn’t completely thoughtless.

                 She pulled on the robe and headed for the bathroom to shower and change. Okay, so maybe she shouldn’t have had sex with him. It certainly didn’t solve anything, but then again, it hadn’t made things any more complicated than they already were. She wasn’t going to spend any time beating herself up over it because the simple truth was she wanted it.

                 Her problem was quite a bit more complicated because she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with a man who had no desire to return that love. Worse, she was pregnant with his child so she’d be tied to him forever. Even when he eventually married someone else.

                 Her stomach churned and she closed her eyes as she completed her quick shower. She didn’t think she could handle another woman participating in the care of her child. A stepmother for her son.

                 Okay, she had to stop this because she’d just make herself crazy. For now, there were answers she wanted from Cam.

                 Her lips firmed and she sucked in a deep breath. No one could ever accuse her of taking the path of least resistance. What did she have to lose, anyway? It wasn’t as if she had to worry about him telling her to take a hike.

                 Laughter bubbled in her throat as she walked out of the bedroom a few minutes later, her stride determined. Maybe that crap worked with other women, but it wasn’t going to work with her.

                 She found him in the downstairs office. His back was to the door and he was staring sightlessly into the night. For a moment she studied his profile, reluctant to intrude even if she was determined to force a confrontation.

                 His hands were shoved into the pockets of his slacks and there was a bleakness to his expression that made her breath catch in her throat. Then he turned fully and saw her standing in the doorway.

                 “Are you hungry?” he asked.

                 She was, but that wasn’t what she wanted to discuss.

                 “I’d like to talk first,” she said in an even voice.

                 He blew out his breath as if he knew there was no getting around the inevitable.

                 She started forward, determined she wouldn’t let him shrug this off. “Cam, I need to know why the idea of our son haunts you so. You were perfectly happy at the idea of a daughter, and the moment it was revealed that this baby is a boy, you couldn’t get away fast enough.”

                 He went completely pale, and his eyes became dull, dead orbs.

                 Then he closed his eyes and his lips tightened. For a long moment he seemed to do battle with himself. At one point she was sure he’d throw her out. He looked furious and devastated by turns.

                 What had happened to make him this way?

                 And then finally he opened his eyes and stared lifelessly back at her. She knew she’d won, but why didn’t she feel like this was a victory?

                 “All right. We’ll talk. After dinner.”

                 She very nearly forced the confrontation here and now, but something held her back. Maybe he needed the time to prepare himself. She could give him that.

                 He herded her toward the kitchen, seated her at the island that doubled as a bar and then went to the refrigerator. He grimaced as he glanced back at her.

                 “I’m afraid our choices are somewhat limited. My housekeeper freezes meals for me and stocks the pantry, but I don’t do much cooking. I eat out a lot.”

                 She slipped off the bar stool and rounded the corner of the island. She waved him off with her hand. “Let me. I can whip us up something with what you have on hand.”

                 “And have you think my hospitality sucks?”

                 She leveled a stare at him. “Your hospitality does suck. Sit and I’ll make us something to eat. Then you’re going to talk.”

                 He winced at her bluntness but took the stool she’d vacated while she surveyed the contents of the pantry. She wanted something quick because she wasn’t going to wait all damn night for this come-to-Jesus moment with Cam. Nor was she going to give him enough time to think better of his promise and toss her out without explaining himself.

                 She found fresh croissants and decided on melted ham and cheese. There was an array of fruit so she made a quick fruit salad while waiting for the croissants to toast up in the oven.

                 She set the table with honey mustard, mayo and the fruit salad and then went back for glasses.

                 “What would you like to drink?” she asked after checking on the croissants again.

                 Cam got up and hurried around to the wine cabinet. Then he paused and turned back around. “I guess wine is out. What do you usually drink?”

                 She smiled. “Water. Decaf tea. Fruit juice sometimes, but it gives me awful indigestion. Mostly water.”

                 “I’ll have water, too, then.”

                 She set glasses out and filled them with water from the fridge. Then she went to take the cookie sheet from the oven. After depositing the toasted croissants onto their plates, she took a seat next to Cam.

                 “This is good,” he said after finishing the first croissant. “Seemed easy, too. I wouldn’t have thought of doing something like this.”

                 Pippa smiled. “I’m the queen of improvising in the kitchen. Growing up, we didn’t have very many family meals together, so I learned early to make do with what we had.”

                 He cocked his head to the side. “You don’t talk about your family much.”

                 She nearly snorted. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him he didn’t, either, but she didn’t want to shut that particular door before it was ever opened.

                 “Not much to talk about,” she said lightly.

                 His eyes narrowed. “Why do I think otherwise?”

                 She shrugged. “No idea.”

                 “Oh, come on. Give me a bone here. Do you see your family?”

                 She sighed. “Yeah, I see my mother when she doesn’t give me enough advance warning so I’m sure not to be around.”

                 He winced. “Ouch. That doesn’t sound very healthy.”

                 “Oh, it’s a lot healthier when we don’t see each other.”

                 “What about your dad?”

                 Pippa sagged, putting down her half-eaten croissant. “He split when I was younger. Not that I can entirely blame him. My mother was difficult to say the least. He died a few years ago and left me the money I’m currently surviving on until I get my business up and running.”

                 Cam frowned. “You’re obviously not close to your family.”

                 “Give the man a cigar,” she drawled. “Did anyone ever tell you how observant you are?”

                 “Cut the sarcasm, Pippa. Talk to me here.”

                 “You know, your gall astonishes me. We’re supposed to be talking about you. That was the deal.”

                 His jaw tightened and bulged. “It solves nothing.”

                 “Oh, yeah? Maybe not for you. But see, here’s the thing. I’m having your baby, and I kind of need to know if I can expect more outbursts like today. Like maybe you run out on his birthday party because you suddenly can’t deal. We’re going to talk about it, Cam, because if we don’t, I’m out of here and I won’t be back.”

                 “Is that a threat, Pippa?”

                 She met his gaze without blinking. “I’m not threatening you. I’m making you a promise.”

                 He shoved his plate aside and got up, nearly knocking the stool over. He stalked out of the kitchen and into the living room, his hands shoved tightly into his pants pockets.

                 Undaunted, she followed, coming to a stop a few feet behind him. For a long moment, Cam faced away from her, anger radiating in waves. Then he jerked around, his eyes ablaze.

                 “I had another son. Colton. And a wife. Elise.”

                 Pippa’s eyes widened in surprise. She hadn’t expected this. She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut again.

                 “Nothing to say?” he snapped.

                 She ignored the anger that emanated from him, knew it was how he was maintaining control when he was barely hanging on. Suddenly she understood a lot of things. She wouldn’t prod the wounded lion and she wouldn’t get angry and defensive over his terseness.

                 “What happened?” she asked softly.

                 “I lost them. I lost them both. He was just a baby. The most beautiful, sweet baby in the world. Elise was… She was wonderful. Young. Vibrant. So full of life. She was a wonderful mother.”

                 Pain vibrated in his voice and her heart clenched at the grief still evident in his eyes.

                 “I could bear the thought of a daughter,” he choked out. “I even looked forward to it. But not a son. It feels too much like I’m replacing Colton.”

                 Her mouth fell open in shock. She wanted to immediately deny that by having another son he was somehow replacing his first child, but she remained silent. It may make no sense to her, but it was evident by the torment in Cam’s eyes that he absolutely believed it.

                 How could she argue with something so deeply ingrained?

                 She stood there a long moment, trying to make sense of it. She looked down at the tiny swell of her belly and was overwhelmed by a fierce need to protect her baby. She glanced back up at Cam, her jaw as tight as his had been.

                 Anger and sorrow warred inside her. Sorrow for him. For such a horrific loss. But anger that her child would pay the price.

                 “So you’d deny this child your love because he had the misfortune to be born the wrong sex?”

                 Cam’s nostrils flared and his eyes flashed with anger. He advanced toward her, bristling with outrage. “I never said that.”

                 “But nothing you’ve said or done so far tells me any different.”

                 He dragged a hand through his hair, rumpling it even more than it already was. “I’m trying here, Pippa. I’m trying really damn hard. You know I didn’t want this.”

                 “I get that! Okay? I understand. Believe me, you’ve made yourself more than clear on the matter. You didn’t want me. You didn’t want our child. But you know what? He didn’t have a choice in the matter. It’s not his fault his parents are brainless twits who didn’t do enough to prevent his conception. But you know what else? I’m not sorry.”

                 She broke off, her chest heaving.

                 “I’m not sorry,” she said again, more fiercely this time. “I’ll never be sorry that the condom broke. I want this child. I want our son. If you want to wallow in the past and deny yourself the miracle that this child is, that’s your problem. But I don’t have to put up with your stupid crap.”

                 She turned around and stomped toward the front door, yanking up the purse she’d dropped when she’d stormed in earlier. She really had no idea if John was around. At this point, she didn’t care. She’d walk to Ashley’s if she had to.

                 “Pippa!”

                 She yanked open the front door, walked out into the night and then slammed it behind her.

                 Oh, boy, was she an idiot. She’d fallen into bed with him. Even after he’d ditched her at the doctor’s office. He’d been clear from the start, and yet she kept agreeing to see him. Like she had some desperate hope that she was going to be the one to heal him.

                 She stalked down the driveway, determined to put as much distance between herself and the source of her stupidity as possible.

                 “Pippa! Damn it! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

                 She flinched as Cam roared at her from the doorway. She pulled out her cell, hoping like hell that Ashley was home tonight. If not, it was going to be a long-ass walk to public transportation.

                 When she reached the end of the driveway and turned toward Ashley’s house, the beam of headlights flashed over her and the growl of an engine sounded. Cam pulled up beside her and rolled his window down.

                 “Get into the damn truck, Pippa. This is insane.”

                 She turned to look at him, never breaking stride. “What’s insane is me staying at your house another minute. I’m going to Ashley’s. I’ll be fine.”

                 He swore a streak that scorched her ears. Then he pulled the SUV in front of her and stopped on the shoulder. He got out and strode back to meet her.

                 “Look, at least let me give you a ride to Ashley’s. You don’t need to be out walking around in the dark alone.”

                 “As long as you promise to drive straight to Ashley’s.”

                 “Get in,” he growled.

                 She walked around to the passenger’s side, got in and slammed the door shut. She didn’t even look his way when he got back in and put the SUV in Drive.

                 When he started to speak, she jerked around and put her hand out to silence him. “Just save it, Cam. I don’t want to hear it.”

                 He fell silent again and turned into Devon and Ashley’s driveway. He pulled to the front and she slipped out almost before he came to a full stop. She slammed the door shut and walked toward the front door, never once looking back.

                 Ashley opened the door before she got there and only then did Cam pull away.

                 “Pippa? What on earth is going on?”

                 Tears filled Pippa’s eyes as she stopped in front of her friend. “I need a place to stay tonight, Ash. Is it okay if I crash here?”





                                      Thirteen

                “Look, Dev, I know he’s your friend, but he makes me crazy,” Pippa said.

                 Devon handed her a glass of juice with a look of sympathy.

                 “He’s a hard-ass, honey. Always has been.”

                 Ashley wrapped her arms around Pippa, or at least as much as she could with a bulging, ginormous belly. The two of them looked like poster children for fertility. Only, Ashley had a loving husband—at least Devon was over the moon about the impending birth of his child.

                 Pippa sniffled and swallowed some of the juice even knowing she’d suffer for it later.

                 “I can’t believe he’s so freaked because we’re having a boy.”

                 Devon glanced uneasily at both women, and who could blame him? One pregnant hormonal woman was enough, but two? He was probably ready to either start drinking or run screaming into the night. Maybe both.

                 “I get that it’s hard to lose people you love. I suppose some part of me should be all, ‘Awww, you poor thing,’ and fawn all over him, pat him on the back and be understanding, but damn it, I can’t do that!”

                 Pippa wiped angrily at her face and leaned forward on the couch to put her glass on the coffee table.

                 Devon slowly shook his head. “No, Pippa, I think you did right. Sympathy is the last thing he needs. Cam is my oldest friend, but it’s time for him to move on with his life and stop rehashing and living in the past.”

                 She nodded miserably. “It makes me seem heartless and I’m not. Really. It breaks my heart to see him so tortured but how does he think it’ll make our child feel to know he was rejected because his father didn’t want to make it look like he was replacing his first son with his second?”

                 “You’re protecting your baby,” Ashley said in a fierce voice. “You should never apologize for that. Cam’s an idiot.”

                 Pippa cringed. “It doesn’t make you an idiot to mourn people you love. I get that. I do. What makes him an idiot is not being able to look past something horrific and see that he’s being given a second chance. This baby won’t replace Colton. No one could ever do that. I don’t know how to make Cam see that. At this point, I don’t even know if I want to try. I’m tired. Tired of this stupid game we’re playing where we both pretend that we don’t want more and that we’re happy having this superficial relationship. I’m not happy. I’ll never be happy with a man who gives me only a part of himself. I’m a selfish bitch. I want it all.”

                 Devon cracked a grin and Ashley hugged her all over again. Pippa remained in her friend’s arms for a long moment, soaking up every bit of comfort she could.

                 “You may not see this now, Pippa, but I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to Cam,” Devon said.

                 Pippa sighed. “Oh, I agree. I’m not some martyr who refuses to see her own value.”

                 “Atta girl,” Devon said.

                 Ashley squeezed her.

                 Pippa crumpled into Ashley’s arms again, her misery overwhelming her. “God, Ash, I slept with him again. Tonight. After he ditched me at the clinic. After that spectacular demonstration of support, I still slept with him. Someone needs to lock me in my apartment for my own good.”

                 Devon cleared his throat. “I, um, think I’ll leave you two alone now. If you need anything, holler.”

                 Pippa watched in amusement as Devon all but ran from the room. Then she sighed and leaned her head on Ashley’s shoulder.

                 “I’m stupid, Ash. He’s stupid. We’re both stupid and I still love him.”

                 Ashley laughed softly. “Not stupid. Sometimes you can’t help who you love. God knows there were times I wished not to love Devon with everything I had.”

                 “He was a bonehead there for a while,” Pippa acknowledged. “I guess that was what gave me hope with Cam. I thought maybe he’d come around. I’m an idiot. You can say it.”

                 “You’re not an idiot! You’re smart and brave and I love you.”

                 Pippa smiled. “I love you, too, Ash. Sorry for getting you all wet and disturbing your evening with Dev.”

                 “Oh, like I didn’t crash at your place for days and sob and weep all over you like a dishrag.”

                 “Yeah, you did, but it all worked out in the end.” Her lips turned down into an unhappy frown. “I don’t see that being the case here. Cam seems too comfortable in his misery.”

                 “He’s really not so bad, Pip,” Ashley said softly.

                 “You’re not in love with him,” Pippa pointed out. “You’re not facing an impossible future tied to him but relegated to being a nobody in his life. Not that I would have ever acted this way, but I’m beginning to see why some women don’t tell the father of their baby that they’re pregnant.”

                 “You’re hurting now, but you did the right thing. You’ll see. It’ll work out, Pip. You have to believe it. Cam will come around. He’ll take one look at his child and be a complete goner.”

                 Pippa raised her head from Ashley’s shoulder. “I hope you’re right.”

                * * *

                The next day, Pippa rode into the city with Devon and had him drop her off at her café. She was getting so close to the grand-opening date, and as a result, her nerves were near to exploding.

                 All the paperwork was in order. Her first supplies had been delivered and her kitchen was set up with everything she could possibly need to start baking. All she had to do was…start.

                 She had a list of items she intended to have out on opening day. She’d already placed ads for the employees she wanted to hire. She needed at least one person to help man the front and an assistant in the kitchen as well as a delivery driver for when she began taking catering jobs.

                 She was finally, finally realizing her dream of opening her own business and she’d never been so scared in her life.

                 After making a few calls to set up interviews, she unpacked the delivery and put everything away. The more she thought about her grand-opening date, the more she wanted to hyperventilate into a paper bag.

                 But this is what she’d been working for. Cam had certainly made it a lot easier for her, but she would have accomplished it on her own. It might have taken her a few more months, but she would have done it. He’d only facilitated the matter.

                 Her cell phone rang and she went completely still. Then she pulled it out of her pocket and stared at the screen for confirmation of what she already knew. Her mother had her own ringtone. It was as unmistakable as Miranda herself.

                 “Boy, do you have rotten timing,” Pippa muttered.

                 She briefly contemplated letting it go to voice mail, but that would be cowardly of her and then she’d have to listen to Miranda complain that her daughter was avoiding her. Okay, it was absolutely true, but if Pippa didn’t answer, Miranda would simply persist. Better to have done with it now.

                 Besides, Miranda was harmless. Clueless, but utterly harmless.

                 With a resigned sigh, she punched the answer button and then put the phone to her ear.

                 “Hello, Mom.”

                 “Pippa, darling! Hello! Long time no talk. How are you?”

                 Pippa smiled despite herself. She always felt guilty about avoiding her mom. She knew in her heart of hearts that Miranda did love her. It wasn’t her fault she was… Well, Pippa wasn’t entirely certain how to describe her mother. Harmless worked well enough because Pippa truly didn’t believe her mother ever tried to be malicious.

                 “I’m good, Mom. How are you? How is Paris?”

                 “Oh, Paris was wonderful, but we’re on to Greece now. It’s so warm and sunshiny. I’m sure it’s much better than spring in the city. Don’t you think?”

                 “How is Doug?”

                 Pippa held her breath, hoping that she hadn’t just stuck her foot in her mouth. Was her mother still with Doug? She’d left the country with him, but one never knew with Miranda. She was just as likely to fall in love in Paris and go off with someone else. Miranda fell in love like most people changed underwear.

                 “He’s having a wonderful time. We both are. He sends you his love.”

                 That amused Pippa given that she’d never actually met the man. She was sure he was perfectly nice. But she doubted she’d ever know firsthand because it would be a miracle if her mother actually made it back home with the same guy.

                 In a lot of ways, Miranda reminded Pippa of a child who’d been given more Christmas presents than she knew what to do with. She’d pick one up, ooh and ahh, and then promptly drop it and move on to the next one.

                 That was Miranda’s love life in a nutshell.

                 “When do you think you’ll be back?” Pippa asked casually.

                 She hadn’t talked to her mom in months. Miranda didn’t know that Pippa was pregnant and she was racked with indecision over whether to break the news to her. It would likely devastate her mother, who considered herself far too young and beautiful to be called a grandmother.

                 While some part of Pippa did long to share the news, she couldn’t bring herself to ruin Miranda’s trip. And it would ruin it. She’d spend the rest of her time wailing that she was too young and asking Doug or whatever guy was her current lover for reassurance that she didn’t look like a grandmother.

                 “Oh, I don’t know. We’re having such fun. There’s no hurry, you know? Life’s too short. Unless you need me? Is there something wrong, Pippa, darling?”

                 The hope in Miranda’s voice decided the matter for Pippa.

                 “No, Mom. Have a good time, okay? We’ll talk more later.”

                 “Love you, dear Pippa.”

                 “Love you, too,” Pippa murmured as she rang off.

                 After shoving the phone back into her pocket, Pippa stood in her kitchen for a long moment, feeling the weight of emotion settle over her shoulders. It was always like this after she spoke to her mother. Regret that she couldn’t have a normal relationship with her own mom. She wanted a mom like Ashley’s.

                 Gloria Copeland fiercely loved her children. She was a rock, always there, offering unconditional love and support. If Ashley needed her mom, she was there. No questions asked.

                 While Miranda might have the best of intentions, and she really did love her daughter, she just didn’t have it in her to be…maternal. The concept was as alien to Miranda as settling down with one man for more than a few months.

                 Pippa had always considered her mother to be very much like a butterfly. Flitting from one thing to the next, never staying in one place for very long.

                 Pippa herself preferred being a homebody. The idea of deviating from her routine gave her hives. She liked the city. Loved her circle of friends. Loved doing the same things every day. Maybe that made her a coward. Maybe she’d never go out into the world and take it on bare-handed. But she knew what she liked. Knew what she wanted. And she simply wouldn’t settle for less.

                 After putting the last of her things away, she went out the front and locked up. When she turned toward the street, she saw Cam’s driver standing there waiting beside the car. She shook her head. She should have known.

                 John looked pointedly at her and then opened the door and gestured her over. With a sigh, she climbed into the backseat.

                 Her pride wasn’t such that she’d turn down even the short ride to her apartment. She didn’t mind walking, but now that her belly was protruding more every day, her feet were paying the price.

                 John dropped her off in front of her apartment and admonished her to apprise him of her schedule for the next day. After arranging a pickup time, she mounted the steps to her front door only to find a basket with a large blue bow on the stoop.

                 She unlocked her door, pushed it open and then reached down for the basket to take it inside. After dropping her keys and sweater on the table in the foyer, she went into the living room and deposited the basket on the coffee table.

                 There was a card attached just below the bow and she opened it.

                Forgive me.

                 Cam.

                She hastily reached into the basket and pulled out a tiny Yankees uniform in a newborn size. She broke out in a smile as her vision blurred with unshed tears. It was adorable. The very first outfit for her baby boy.

                 There was a teddy bear. A baseball and tiny catcher’s mitt. And two tickets to the next home game at Yankee Stadium.

                 If Cam had been there she would have thrown her arms around him and all would have been forgiven. Which was why she was glad he was nowhere near her.

                 It was a fault of hers. She was too forgiving. She couldn’t let herself be a doormat while Cam waffled back and forth like some sick version of Jekyll and Hyde.

                 But the idea of him hurting, even as much as he’d hurt her, made her heart squeeze. He had five more months to get over this notion that their son was somehow replacing the child he’d lost. Surely that was enough time. Wasn’t it?

                 “Oh, Cam,” she whispered. “What am I going to do about you? About us?”

                 All she could do was take it one day at a time and hope and pray that Cam came around. Because if he didn’t? She and their son would lose, and she’d do anything at all to spare her son the pain of a father who didn’t want him.





                                      Fourteen

                It was the big day and it felt like Pippa had swallowed a giant rock. She’d been up the entire night before—baking, cleaning, arranging and stressing. Being the wonderful friend she was, Carly had hung out with Pippa until dawn. Pippa had shooed Ashley home much earlier. The poor woman was due to pop any day now and she was miserable.

                 But everyone had promised to return for the 9:00 a.m. grand opening of Pippa’s Place.

                 “Your displays are gorgeous, Pip,” Carly said. “What time are your employees coming in?”

                 Pippa wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “Any moment now. I could have had them in overnight to help, but to be honest, I’m too much of a control freak. I want everything just so for the first day. After this I can leave the shop in capable hands when needed.”

                 Carly laughed. Then she impulsively hugged Pippa. “You need some rest, hon. You look exhausted.”

                 “No rest for the weary today,” she said with a crooked grin. “I don’t close until this afternoon and I’m hoping to draw a large crowd. Cam might have gone a little overboard advertising the big event. Let’s just hope he didn’t oversell me and nobody likes my cooking.”

                 “Not going to happen,” Carly said firmly.

                 The front bell jangled and Pippa stuck her head through the kitchen door dividing the kitchen from the rest of the space. She waved her employee back and gave her instructions for stocking the displays with the remaining cupcakes and cookies.

                 She busied herself with cleaning the kitchen while Carly greeted the second employee and put her to work. Pippa thought about the delivery van, which was parked in front of the shop today. It provided great advertising with its cheerful color and the shop name displayed predominately on the side.

                 After her illegal drive through the city, she’d spent the next few weeks getting her driver’s license even though she hoped she never had to actually drive the thing herself.

                 Satisfied that her kitchen was in order, she went into the bathroom to repair her appearance. What she really needed was a shower, but she didn’t have time to go home.

                 “Pippa, you in there?”

                 She cracked open the bathroom door to see Carly and Tabitha both standing there. They started to crowd in, both carrying cosmetic bags.

                 “We’re here to do your hair and makeup,” Tabitha announced.

                 Pippa smiled, put the seat of the toilet down and sat so her friends could fuss over her. Peace replaced the overwhelming sense of panic. This was it. Her dream was coming true today. It hadn’t gone exactly as she planned, but she wouldn’t change a single thing.

                 Already she loved her son with a fierceness that surprised her. She hadn’t imagined being so connected to another life in quite this way. She talked to him every day. Sang to him at night. Read him stories while she lounged on the sofa after a long day of dealing with business stuff.

                 Her child had given her a purpose. She was even more determined to succeed. To be a mom her son would be proud of. She never wanted her kid to feel about her the way she felt about her own mother.

                 Where Miranda was more concerned for her own happiness than that of her child, Pippa was never going to go that route. Her son would be the single most important person in her life.

                 For the next half hour, Tabitha and Carly kept up a lively stream of chatter as they applied makeup and touched up her hair. Pippa’s heart was full of love for her friends. They were working hard to keep her mind off the impending grand opening and to allay her nervousness.

                 Just as they finished the last brush of the mascara wand, the door burst open and Ashley and Sylvia tried to shove inside.

                 “Pippa, you have to come see!” Ashley exclaimed.

                 She grabbed Pippa’s hand and hauled her toward the front. As they stumbled into the eating area, Pippa’s eyes rounded in shock.

                 People. Lots and lots of people!

                 All crowded outside the entrance to her shop. Waiting for her to open. And her employees, bless their hearts, were outside circulating with cups of hot coffee and samples of her baked goods.

                 Tears gathered and Carly whispered fiercely in her ear. “Don’t you dare mess up that mascara!”

                 Pippa laughed and then excitedly hugged all her friends.

                 Half an hour later, the doors opened and the customers surged in. There was much laughter as all of Pippa’s friends helped serve the crush of people.

                 For two hours there was no end to the line of people. As fast as they could ring customers up, others came in droves.

                 It was past noon when Pippa looked up and saw Cam stride through the front door, shoving his way past a line of customers. He sought her out and then fixed his stare on her as he moved toward the counter.

                 “Go on,” Ashley whispered. “I’ll take the register for a while.”

                 “You sure?” Pippa looked doubtfully at her friend. “You’ve been on your feet for a long time, Ash. Maybe you should take a break. Devon’s going to kill me for wearing you out.”

                 Ashley smiled. “I’m having fun and I get to eat all the cupcakes I want. Total win!”

                 Pippa grinned back and then stepped away from the counter to meet Cam around the side.

                 “Looks like you’ve drawn a huge crowd,” Cam said when she got close enough for her to hear him.

                 “It’s fantastic! I can’t believe it. We’ve been hopping all morning.”

                 Cam smiled. “Can I get a cup of coffee and a few minutes of your time?”

                 She glanced over at her friends, who were waving her on and giving her the okay signal that they were fine handling the customers. She waved back and said to Cam, “Okay, you’ve got me for a few minutes.”

                 She poured him a cup of coffee, grabbed a pastry, a croissant and a cupcake and then motioned him into the kitchen.

                 They walked through to the office at the very rear of the shop. She closed the door behind them and then took a seat at the small desk. Or rather she sagged into it.

                 “Oh, my God, I may never get back up.” She groaned.

                 His eyes narrowed in concern. “When was the last time you slept? Have you been here all night?”

                 “It’s been a while,” she said ruefully. “And yeah, I was here all night getting ready.”

                 “You should rest. That can’t be good for you or the baby.”

                 “I won’t argue that point. I plan to go straight home and sleep about twelve hours before I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.”

                 He was silent a long moment. He looked for the world like he wanted to argue. His lips were set in a line and his jaw ticked. He ran a hand through his hair. To her surprise, he seemed unsure of himself.

                 “I wanted to come by to see how it was going. But mostly I wanted to say once more that I’m sorry for what happened at the clinic. I’m trying, Pippa. I know you probably don’t believe that, but I am trying to deal with this.”

                 She pushed the coffee and the plate of yummies at him, her heart melting just a little at the vulnerability she saw in those troubled eyes of his.

                 “Tell me how awesome I am,” she teased as she held up the cupcake.

                 He looked suspiciously at the cupcake piled high with fluffy pink icing. Unable to resist the opening, she swiped a finger full and then smeared it over his lips.

                 He reared back in surprise but his tongue automatically came out to lick away the sticky frosting. Then he took the cupcake from her and carefully peeled away the wrapper. He took a cautious bite and then stared down at it as if trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe.

                 “Okay, you’re awesome.”

                 “I know,” she said smugly. “Damn good, isn’t it?”

                 He took another bite and then smiled. “Yeah. Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

                 She cocked her head to the side and decided to let down her guard. “That depends on where you take me to dinner tonight. I’m starving and I want a steak. I’m sugared out from eating my own goodies. Me and baby want red meat.”

                 She waited for the flinch. The inevitable reaction when he was reminded of the son she carried. But he didn’t react. He actually seemed hugely relieved that she’d taken the matter in hand and barged forward. Well, that was typical Pippa. Bull in a china closet and all that.

                 “I’d like that,” he said in a somber voice. “I’ll make early reservations for us so you can get home and rest. I have a meeting in a little while but I’ll swing back by at closing time, run you by your apartment if you want to change and then we’ll go eat.”

                 “That sounds awesome,” she said with a sigh.

                 He rose from his seat and then held a hand out to help her up. “You’ve done a great job making this place your own, Pippa. By the looks of that crowd, I’d say they agree with me. You have a solid success on your hands.”

                 She squeezed his hand as she came around the desk. “I owe a lot of it to you. If you hadn’t gotten me this great place, I’d probably still be looking for space to lease.”

                 “I was glad to do it. You’ve worked hard for this.”

                 Part of her was saddened by the slight awkwardness between them and the almost formal way they danced around each other. She longed for the easy friendship that she’d come to rely on over the past few months. If she couldn’t have a more intimate relationship with him, she’d at least take friendship. Anything but this unease between them.

                 She gave him a quick hug to convey that she was seemingly unaffected by all that had transpired and then herded him back through the kitchen and out the front, where there was still a steady stream of customers spilling into the shop.

                 He hesitated a moment as they stood at the counter and then he leaned in to brush his lips across her cheek. “I’ll see you in a few hours. Try to take it easy, okay?”

                 As he walked away, she raised trembling fingers to the place he’d kissed her.

                 Hot and cold. She could never figure out where she stood with him and it pissed her off. One thing she knew for certain—she wasn’t going to wait around forever while he got his act together.





                                      Fifteen

                Cam drove past Pippa’s café to see the open sign go out and lights start to flicker off inside. He gave the voice command to dial Pippa’s cell and then turned to circle the block.

                 After a few rings, she answered, her breathless voice doing odd things to his insides.

                 “I’ll just be a minute,” she said by way of greeting.

                 “No hurry. I’m circling the block. I’ll pull up so you can just come out.”

                 He maneuvered the SUV through traffic and waited for the light to turn so he could turn back onto her street. He tapped his thumbs impatiently on the steering wheel and he realized that he was anxious to see her again.

                 It didn’t compute. He had this sick love-hate relationship going on. He wanted to be as far from her as possible. She made him nervous. She looked at him like she could see right past the front he put on.

                 At the same time, when he was away even a short period of time, he got anxious. He needed to know she was okay, that she had everything she needed. That she was safe. And hell, if he was honest, he just wanted to see her again.

                 He had to let go of his pain. He had to move on. But how did one ever just decide that sort of thing? At what point did the hurting stop? At what point did one stop being gripped by paralyzing fear over the thought of losing someone you cared about?

                 He didn’t have the answers, and until he did, this thing between him and Pippa would never work. He didn’t want it to work.

                 Which didn’t explain why he was circling the block, anxious to see her again. It made no sense. He should be at home. He should have never apologized, though he certainly owed her the apology and more. But he should have let it go, allowed her to remain angry with him. In the end it was kinder to both of them. A clean break. No remorse. No recriminations. No dragging it out only to rehash it all again later.

                 But he wanted to see her. He wanted… He wanted her. On his own terms. He recognized the selfishness of it and yet he couldn’t stop himself from craving her. In or out of bed. It mattered little to him. He just wanted to be near her because, God help him, he felt more alive whenever she walked into a room.

                 He slowed as he approached her shop and leaned forward to see if she was waiting. She was at her door, locking up, the wind blowing through her dark hair. Then she turned and he was struck by the picture she presented. Young, vibrant, beautiful.

                 She saw him and waved, her face lighting up with a gorgeous smile. She hurried forward, one hand cupped to her belly and the other hanging on to her purse. He stopped and leaned over to push open the door for her. She climbed in, melted into the seat with a sweet sigh and then turned that dazzling smile on him.

                 It was like being kicked in the stomach.

                 “It is sooo nice to be off my feet,” she said.

                 Blinking, he realized he was sitting still while angry horns beeped behind him. He eased off the brake and drove away, listening as she talked in animated fashion about her day and how amazing the turnout had been.

                 His blood hummed with desire. With need. He wanted her. He didn’t want to want her.

                 He couldn’t process a single rational thought.

                 Suddenly the thought of spending so much time in a restaurant didn’t appeal. She looked tired. He was impatient. He needed to have her to himself.

                 “Change in plans,” he said gruffly as he turned left so he could circle back to her apartment.

                 She roused from her semistupor and shot him an inquisitive glance. “What’s up? You standing me up?”

                 He smiled at the growl in her voice. “Oh, no, far from it. What I’m doing is taking you back to your place so you can put your feet up on the couch while I order us the best damn steak money can buy. Then I’m going to take you to bed, give you an all-over body massage and make love to you until you pass out.”

                 Her eyes widened and then she blinked, momentarily speechless. “Well, okay,” she finally said.

                 He smiled in satisfaction at her acceptance. It was more than okay.

                * * *

                 When Pippa let them into her apartment, the air was electric and heavy with anticipation. She wouldn’t even meet his gaze because she was sure she was an open book, and hey, a woman had to have some mystery, right?

                 Only it wasn’t a mystery that she wanted him. Or that from the moment he’d laid out his plans for the evening she’d become a quivering ball of anticipation.

                 She walked ahead of him into the living room, her step lighter than it had been all day. Her fatigue had fled and she felt energized. Ready.

                 Her skin prickled with tiny goose bumps every time he so much as looked her way. It felt like her very first date. Her very first kiss. The first time she’d ever gotten naked in front of a man. She wasn’t sure whether she liked it or not.

                 “Why don’t you sit and relax,” he said. “I can find my way around your apartment. I’ll phone in our order and get things started. Would you like something to drink?”

                 This suddenly very solicitous side of Cam was confusing the hell out of her. She liked this new Cam very, very much and she could get used to it.

                 It wasn’t as if he was never generous with her. Quite the opposite. He went to great lengths to take care of her needs but he did so as impersonally as possible.

                 But now his caring seemed very personal. She didn’t know if this was a further attempt to make up for walking out of the sonogram or if he was genuinely softening toward her. Who the hell knew with him?

                 “I’ll take a bottled water. There’s one in the fridge,” she said as she settled on the couch.

                 She propped her feet on the ottoman and groaned in sheer pleasure. She leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes while she listened to him putter around the kitchen. Then she heard the rumble of his voice as he placed their dinner order. A moment later, he returned to the living room and handed her the drink.

                 “Thank you.”

                 “Your grand opening was quite the success,” he said.

                 He took a seat in her armchair and propped his feet just inches from hers.

                 “I owe a lot of my opening day success to you. Maybe all of it.”

                 He shook his head. “I gave you a place but it was your talent and hard work that made it happen.”

                 “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot. I’ve been working toward this for a very long time.”

                 He put his hands behind his head and cupped his nape. “Have you thought about what you’ll do after the baby is born?”

                 She cocked her head to the side and glanced questioningly at him. “What do you mean?”

                 “Will you keep your current schedule or will you employ others to run the shop so that you have more time with our son?”

                 For a moment she couldn’t respond. She was too struck by the reference to their son. And she was reminded that she and Cam weren’t a couple. Of course he would wonder what arrangements she’d made because he wasn’t going to be there on a 24/7 basis.

                 It shocked her how much that hurt. How much she wanted it to be different.

                 “I haven’t decided yet,” she said slowly. “A lot will depend on how the café is doing and if I can afford to hire more help. I have to train my assistant so that she can duplicate my recipes while I’m out on maternity leave. But I can’t close down. That’s not even an option.”

                 “Of course not. If you’ll allow me to help, I can certainly put some feelers out. We have a number of pastry chefs that work in our various hotels. I’m sure we could loan one to you for a few weeks.”

                 She stared back at him, mouth open. “Cam, you guys own five-star resorts. There is no way I could afford to pay even three weeks’ wages to a world-class pastry chef like the ones you guys employ.”

                 “He or she would of course remain on our payroll.”

                 She sighed. “I can’t keep relying on you, Cam. I’m only setting myself up to fail miserably. What you’ve done is so wonderful and so helpful but it also skews the results. When all your support goes away, I’ll be left in a lurch.”

                 He frowned. “No one says it’s going away.”

                 “I say it’s going away,” she said gently. “I have to make a go of this myself, Cam.”

                 He didn’t argue, although she had the distinct feeling that he hadn’t dropped the subject for good. Then a completely unrelated thought struck her.

                 “I didn’t frame my first dollar.”

                 He blinked in surprise and then seemed puzzled by her dismay.

                 Her lips turned down into a frown. “You’re supposed to frame the first dollar you make. You know, when you start a business. You didn’t do that with yours?”

                 “Hell, Pippa, your first sale was probably a debit card purchase. Nobody carries cash anymore. You could always frame the credit card receipt.”

                 She pulled a face. “You’re such a party pooper. You don’t have your first dollar?”

                 He shrugged. “I still have my first million.”

                 She rolled her eyes at him. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Does money mean anything at all to you or has it lost its value?”

                 “Of course it means something.” He scowled, making her almost want to giggle. “It means I can support our child and you. It means I can live comfortably and not worry about where my next meal is coming from. It means you don’t have to worry about your lack of health insurance.”

                 She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I was being a snot. It was an unfair jab. I’m sorry.”

                 “I’m not out blowing my cash if that’s what you were wondering.”

                 Her cheeks warmed and she glanced away. “No, I was just stereotyping you and being flip. I really didn’t mean anything by it. People who don’t have a lot of money tend to not really understand people who do have money. Or their attitude toward money.”

                 He lifted one eyebrow. “I hope you’re not implying I’m a snob.”

                 “No,” she said truthfully. “I truly don’t think you’re a snob. You can be a first-class jerk, but not a snob.”

                 He shot her a glare and she snickered.

                 The doorbell interrupted and Cam quickly rose to go answer. A moment later, he came back, followed by a delivery person who set up the food on the coffee table. The young man smiled at Pippa and then he and Cam disappeared from the living room once more.

                 She waited, sniffing appreciatively at the mouthwatering aroma floating from the covered plates. She’d leaned over to take a quick peek when Cam admonished her from the doorway.

                 “Not so fast.”

                 She yanked back guiltily.

                 “Want to eat in here or the kitchen? Are you okay on just the coffee table?”

                 “Oh, yeah. I’m comfortable. I’ll just lean forward and shovel it all in.”

                 He chuckled. “Not a pretty image.”

                 She sniffed disdainfully. “Watching a pregnant woman inhale her food isn’t for sissies.”

                 He went forward and uncovered the dishes. He poured her a glass of cold water and then shoved the plate across the table so that it was directly in front of her. Then he handed her a steak knife and a fork. “Dig in.”

                 He didn’t have to tell her twice. He’d ordered a filet and it was fork tender. As soon as she took the first bite, she closed her eyes and sighed in sheer pleasure.

                 “Good?” Cam asked.

                 “I don’t have words. Best steak I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

                 He nodded his satisfaction and then sat down to eat his own steak.

                 They ate in silence, only the clink of forks and knives disturbing the peace. Pippa had been only half kidding about inhaling her food. These days it didn’t seem she could put away enough to eat. Which was just as well because she’d read that in the last trimester, eating was a lot more difficult with a baby’s head lodged in your lungs.

                 Cam finished his steak before she’d gotten halfway through hers. He went to put away his dishes. When he came back, he sat forward in the armchair and grabbed her plate.

                 She frowned her protest but he gestured for her to sit back. Then he put the pillows from the end of the couch on her lap and plunked the plate down on it so she could continue eating. Just when she had no idea what he was up to, he lifted her feet and propped them back on the ottoman.

                 He closed his hands around her left foot and pressed his palm into her instep. She sagged precariously and let out a glorious sigh as pleasure seeped into her muscles.

                 “How can I eat with you doing that?” she complained.

                 He smiled. “Easy. Just pick up your fork. You were on your feet all day. They have to be sore.”

                 She shoved a bite of steak into her mouth and nodded vigorously.

                 “Well, then, relax and let me take care of the matter for you.”

                 Oh, hell, yes. She wouldn’t say another word. She’d just sit here and eat her scrumptious steak while the most gorgeous man on earth gave her a foot massage.

                 “Remember what I promised you?” he murmured.

                 She stopped chewing and damn near choked as she struggled to swallow the bite. Then she nodded because she couldn’t seem to find her tongue.

                 As he gripped her heel with one hand, the other stroked over the top of her foot and up her leg, heat from his touch warming her skin.

                 “As soon as you’re done, I’m taking you to bed, Pippa. How much sleep you get is entirely up to you.”

                 Oh, hell…

                 She put aside the plate, unconcerned with whether it tipped over on the couch. He stared at her for a moment as if gauging whether she was ready. If she was any more ready she’d be stripped down and holding a sign saying Take Me.





                                      Sixteen

                As soon as Cam pulled Pippa to her feet, adrenaline surged like an electric charge through her veins. For a moment he pulled her close, their bodies touching. His warmth leaped to her and surrounded her. Then he dragged a gentle hand through her hair and leaned down to kiss her.

                 It was brief, just a brush, but she felt it to her toes. He drew away, his breath harsh in the quiet.

                 “Your bed,” he said.

                 Swallowing hard, she started to drop his hand to go past him toward her bedroom, but he tightened his hold and rubbed his thumb over her wrist.

                 She went ahead of him, pulling him behind her as she crossed the short distance to the steps leading up to the small loft where her bed was. Her legs trembled as she climbed and then came to a halt, the bed in front of her, unsure of what he wanted next.

                 He moved past her, this time taking her with him. He eased her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then unbuttoned her top.

                 He went down on his knees as he pushed her shirt over her shoulders, baring her lacy bra. His gaze dropped to the swell of her belly and he went still. She held her breath, wondering if the moment was lost, but to her utter shock, he laid his cheek over the bump and turned his mouth just enough to press a kiss to her taut skin.

                 She inhaled sharply, the bite of emotion harsh in her throat. She slid her fingers through his unruly hair, her touch gentle and loving.

                 Slowly he pulled away and then he lifted her just enough that he could ease her pants off.

                 “I promised you a massage,” he said in a husky voice. “I think I’m going to enjoy it more than you will.”

                 She cast him a doubtful look, but okay, if that’s what he wanted to think. Right now his hands on her body was about as good as it got.

                 He curled his arms underneath her and lifted so he could position her on her side. Then he unhooked her bra and carefully pulled her panties down her legs so she was naked, facing away from him.

                 During a long pause, she glanced over her shoulder to see him disrobing a short distance away. He had a gorgeous, lean body. He wasn’t pretty or polished. There was just enough edge to his appearance to send her girlie senses into overdrive.

                 He strode back to the bed and got on his knees behind her. When his hand slid over her hip, then wandered to her back and shoulder, she closed her eyes and sighed in contentment.

                 His mouth followed, pressing hot against her neck and then gliding over the curve to her shoulder. When he pulled away, he put both hands to her back and gently began to stroke and caress until her eyes rolled back in her head.

                 He worked methodically, leaving no part of her flesh untouched. He stroked down to her buttocks, molding the plump globes with his palms before working lower to her thighs.

                 Nudging her over onto her back, he lifted one leg and began working the muscles with those to-die-for hands. He worked all the way down to her ankle and then began massaging her foot.

                 She floated somewhere else, hovering on a cloud of sensory overload. Then he lifted her foot and kissed her instep. She nearly lost it right there. It was the most erotic sensation she’d ever experienced and it was just her foot! But the man made every single touch so damn sexy.

                 He moved to her other leg but she was only dimly aware. She let out a blissful sigh and surrendered to the euphoric sensation of having a sinfully handsome man cater to her every pleasure.

                 Each caress sent warmth all the way to her soul. She opened her eyes and watched in fascination as he rose over her, gently parting her thighs before settling his upper body between them.

                 For a brief moment he glanced up and those sizzling blue eyes connected with hers. His mouth crooked up into a half smile and then he lowered his head to her most intimate flesh.

                 She couldn’t call back the moan. She twisted restlessly but he kept her firmly in place with those hands at her hips. He kissed, licked and made love to her with that delectable mouth. He had such a talented tongue and he was driving her crazy.

                 She reached for his hair, twisting her fingers with almost desperate strength as she arched into him. He delved deeper with his tongue, loving her with long, lazy strokes. Then he moved one hand from her hip and slid his fingers deep into her warmth.

                 It was more than she could withstand. She bowed beneath him, tightening to the point of near pain and then she reached her peak in a quick, tumultuous burst.

                 He tenderly kissed the quivering bundle of nerves, eliciting another shudder from her before he moved his mouth up to her belly to lavish gentle attention on it. His hands molded to the swell and there was such reverence in his touch that she had to swallow back the knot forming in her throat.

                 She wanted to believe so very much that he was coming around. That maybe he was beginning to let go of his past, but she was afraid to broach the subject. Afraid of his rejection. And she couldn’t be patient and understanding. She wasn’t going to wait around forever for him to decide he wanted to fight for their future.

                 “Tell me if I hurt you.”

                 He shifted upward, positioning himself between her thighs. He held his weight off her with one palm pressed to the mattress while he used his other hand to guide his erection to her opening.

                 Tentatively he pressed forward, his gaze never leaving her face as he probed deeper. She pulsed around him, still hypersensitive after her orgasm. As he pushed even deeper, she closed her eyes and dug her fingers into his muscled shoulders.

                 “Too much?” he asked.

                 She opened her eyes to see him eyeing her with concern.

                 “Oh, no,” she whispered. “Not enough.”

                 His pupils dilated. His jaw tightened and bulged and he drew in a deep breath as if he were trying valiantly to maintain control.

                 She lifted her hands to frame his face, caressing his jaw as she stared up at him.

                 “Make love to me, Cam. Don’t hold back. You won’t hurt me.”

                 He closed his eyes and emitted a harsh groan. Then he turned his face into her hand and kissed her palm. Carefully he lowered himself until her belly pressed into his. He rested his forearms on either side of her shoulders and then pushed deeper.

                 His mouth found hers. Hungry. Hot. Demanding even as he was exceedingly gentle.

                 He found a slow, sensual rhythm, rocking against her as he filled her again and again. He was patient, working her up that slow rise all over again.

                 It was less urgent this time. Mellow. A lazy climb upward as pleasure filled her. She felt weightless, surrounded by him. She felt…loved.

                 Even as she knew it was foolish to allow herself the fantasy that he wanted and needed her, she couldn’t help but immerse herself in this one moment where everything in her world was utter perfection.

                 His mouth skimmed down her jaw to her neck where his teeth grazed the sensitive skin underneath her ear. Then he raised his body just enough to send himself even deeper inside her.

                 She gasped, then clutched at his shoulders, digging her nails into his flesh. She arched upward, wanting, needing more.

                 “That’s it, baby,” he murmured. “I love how you respond. Always with me one hundred percent.”

                 Oh, if he only knew just how with him she was and wanted to be. She bit her lip to prevent the words, those damnable words, from slipping out in the heat of the moment. He wouldn’t welcome them.

                I love you.

                She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down so they were close. So close that his warmth bled into her body and she had no sense of where he began and she ended.

                 He shuddered against her. Let out a hoarse cry. She moaned softly and then whispered his name as the world crashed around her. Arching. Sighing. Undulating. Their bodies moved in quiet unison until they were wrapped tighter than braided rope.

                 She melted back onto the mattress, so sated that she couldn’t even contemplate moving. For a moment he rested above her, his weight only barely pressed to hers, and then he rolled to the side, taking her with him.

                 He pulled her in close, anchoring her head in the hollow of his neck. His heart tripped frantically against her cheek and she inhaled deeply, wanting to capture his essence and imprint it in her memory.

                 He didn’t speak but neither did she. Anything she’d say would only ruin the moment and anything he’d likely say she wouldn’t want to hear. So she was content to let things lie.

                 She closed her eyes, knowing that when she woke again, he’d be gone. Just like the other times. She’d wake to an empty bed and an even emptier heart.

                 She threw her arm and a leg over him, knowing it was pointless but unable to resist the urge to keep him close for as long as she could. Then she snuggled deeper into his embrace and allowed the veil of sleep to overcome her.

                * * *

                 Cam woke in a cold sweat, the horror of his dream still alive and vivid in his mind. For a moment he stared into the darkness, still reliving every moment.

                 The accident that had taken Elise and Colton from him had been replayed in slow motion. He’d experienced the horrific, numbing helplessness of knowing he couldn’t save them. But still, he’d run toward the wreckage, his heart in his throat, praying with everything he had that this time would be different. That this time he’d find them alive.

                 Only when he’d gotten there, it had been Pippa’s bloodied face he’d seen, the last, pained cry of their newborn son he’d heard.

                 Desperate to get away and to make the awful vision disappear, he shoved hastily out of the bed, Pippa’s sleepy murmur of protest dim in his ears.

                 He yanked on his clothing, nearly tripping in his haste to be gone. He stumbled through her apartment to the front door and lunged into the night, gulping huge, steadying breaths into burning lungs.

                 He palmed his forehead as he made his way to his car and fumbled with the lock. He got in and slumped against the seat and sat there several long minutes, staring through the windshield, trying to bring to mind Elise’s features.

                 But it wasn’t his beloved wife he saw every time he closed his eyes. It was Pippa.





                                      Seventeen

                Pippa struggled out of bed the next morning. She should be euphoric. She’d had a terrific turnout for her grand opening. She’d spent a wonderful evening with Cam and an even better night in bed. But as she’d known, even though she’d awakened before dawn to get to her café, Cam had been gone.

                 She trudged into her shop, feeling thoroughly down. The two people she’d hired to help her bake in the mornings arrived shortly after she did and they worked in silence, Pippa shunning any attempt at conversation.

                 She needed time to think. Or rather time to berate herself for being such a weak ninny. Cam was…well, he was manic and it was driving her insane. She couldn’t continue like this.

                 Oh, who was she kidding. All the man had to do was smile at her, offer an apology and take her to bed. She’d never envisioned herself as one of those gullible women she and her friends liked to rag on. But apparently Pippa was smart in every aspect except men and relationships.

                 It was just a few minutes to opening when Pippa’s cell phone rang. It was Ashley’s ringtone and Pippa felt some of her tension ease. Ashley always made her feel better.

                 “You’re up early this morning. Baby keeping you awake?” Pippa asked as she put the phone to her ear.

                 “Pippa, it’s Devon.”

                 He sounded harried and there was a terse quality to his voice that immediately put her on edge.

                 “Where’s Ashley?” Pippa demanded.

                 “We’re at the hospital. She’s in labor and wanted me to call you. I can’t reach her mother and she’s in a panic. I think she just wants some female company. I’m driving her crazy.”

                 Pippa smiled. “It’s all right, Dev. I’m on my way. Hang in there.”

                 Devon’s relief was palpable. “Thanks, Pippa.”

                 She rang off and then gave her employees instructions for running the shop in her absence. Leaving her business on its second day wasn’t at all what she wanted but she wasn’t about to leave Ashley when she needed her most.

                 After making sure they’d call her if any issues arose, Pippa hurried out the door to hail a cab. She could call John, but she didn’t want to wait even that long to get to the hospital. She was nervous and excited to be with Ashley on the big day, but if she were honest, she’d admit that the whole delivery thing scared the bejebus out of her.

                 She wasn’t yet prepared for that aspect of her pregnancy; she’d been existing in ignorant bliss. Childbirth itself was the part of all the pregnancy books she skipped over. She knew all about the nine months leading up to it. She knew all about what happened after the delivery. But she’d blocked out any information about the actual delivery of the baby.

                 Not smart, but hey, a girl did what she had to just to get through.

                 Once at the hospital she stopped by the information desk to find out Ashley’s room number and then headed up to the maternity ward. She tapped on Ashley’s door, half-afraid of what she’d see on the other side.

                 Devon opened the door and looked relieved to see her there. Pippa hesitantly peeked around Devon, happy when she saw Ashley propped in the bed looking none the worse for wear. Ashley’s face brightened when she saw Pippa.

                 “Pippa! I’m so glad you’re here.”

                 Pippa smiled and went over to the bed to enfold Ashley in a hug. “Hey, you. How’s it going? When’s that baby going to get here?”

                 Ashley pulled a face. “Not soon enough. It could be hours yet. I’m only dilated to four.”

                 Pippa blinked. “Four what?”

                 Ashley’s brow furrowed. “Centimeters.”

                 “Oh.”

                 Pippa really didn’t want to know what exactly that meant. It sounded painful. These were things she avoided. She’d much rather read about the baby’s first movements and all the development stages after birth.

                 “Can I get you anything, Ash?”

                 Ashley shook her head. “No, just stay with me. I’m driving poor Dev nuts. He wants to make it all better and I’m grumpy.”

                 Pippa laughed. “You grumpy?”

                 “Here, have a seat, Pippa,” Devon offered as he pushed a chair behind her. “You don’t need to be on your feet, and like Ash said, it’s going to be a while.”

                 Pippa settled in the chair beside Ashley’s bed while Devon continued to pace in a small area behind them. She reached for Ashley’s hand and offered a comforting squeeze.

                 “Are you excited?”

                 Ashley took a deep breath. “Excited. Scared out of my mind. I just want to know how soon I can get my epidural.”

                 Pippa shuddered.

                 “I kind of wish now that I’d found out what we’re having,” Ashley said mournfully. “I thought it would be exciting to be all surprised when the doctor said ‘it’s a boy’ or ‘it’s a girl,’ but now I’m thinking no surprises is a good thing.”

                 Pippa nodded her agreement. Of course if she’d opted not to find out, maybe Cam wouldn’t have wigged out, but then it probably wouldn’t have been good for him to find out on delivery day. The more time he had to come to terms with the fact he was having another son, the better. Or at least that was her way of thinking.

                 Devon moved to the other side of Ashley’s bed and leaned down to kiss her temple. “It’ll be all right, Ash. You’re going to do great.”

                 Ashley looked up with such love in her eyes, love that was openly reflected in Devon’s tender gaze. Pippa had to look away and swallow against the knot forming in her throat. She wanted this. What they had. She and Cam hadn’t even discussed if he’d be here when the baby came. She assumed he would, but she was learning it was dangerous to assume anything when it came to him.

                 She stood abruptly, tears burning the lids of her eyes. “I’ll be right back. I need to make a phone call. Check on the store.”

                 She all but fled from Ashley’s hospital room, shutting the door behind her and leaning heavily on it as she tried to clear her blurry vision. She pushed off the door and hurried down the hall to the waiting room where hopefully she could regain her composure. Ashley needed her to be strong today.

                * * *

                 Throughout the day, visitors came and went. Ashley’s mother barged into the room a few hours after Pippa arrived, mortified that she couldn’t be reached the minute Ashley went into labor. Pippa was glad to see Mrs. Copeland. She just had a way of making everything better. She’d already hugged Pippa no less than a dozen times and Pippa gloried in each one.

                 Tabitha, Carly and Sylvia came by but didn’t stay long since the room was growing more crowded with Ashley’s family. Pippa herself had already decided she’d retire down the hall to the waiting area so she wouldn’t be in the way.

                 She crept out, snagged a cup of water from the cooler and sat in a comfortable chair to wait the arrival of the baby. As the day wore on, more people filtered into the waiting room and it was alive with conversation and excitement.

                 Ashley had a large family and it seemed that every single one of them was going to be present for the birth of Ashley’s child.

                 Pippa’s heart squeezed because she couldn’t imagine such a wonderful fuss when it came time for her baby to be born. How marvelous it must be to have a huge, loving family who gathered for special occasions and celebrated with such vibrancy.

                 Here in a room full of warm, friendly people, she’d never felt so alone in her life.

                 “Have you eaten anything today?”

                 She jumped, pulled suddenly from her thoughts by the sound of Cam’s voice coming from behind her. She turned around and shook her head, watching as he frowned his disapproval.

                 “Let’s go down to the cafeteria,” Cam said.

                 He started to take her elbow but she pulled away. “I’m not leaving now. Ashley is going to deliver at any minute. No way am I missing this.”

                 Cam seemed to take in the expectant air that permeated the room. He drew his lips into a thin line and then said, “I’ll go get you something. You need to eat.”

                 She shrugged—which seemed to irritate him—but she wasn’t exactly concerned with him at the moment.

                 With another inquisitive look in her direction, Cam turned and walked out of the waiting room. Pippa blew out her breath and settled back in her seat. Yeah, he probably was confused as to why she was snippy. In his mind, he’d probably already blown off the fact that he’d hightailed it after sex again. And he had no way of knowing just how muddled Pippa’s own feelings were and how close to her breaking point she was.

                 Fifteen minutes later, Cam returned with a foam carry-out container and handed it to her with plastic utensils.

                 “I wasn’t sure what to get you to drink, so I got you a bottle of water.”

                 “That’s fine,” she said, retrieving it from his grasp. “You aren’t eating?”

                 “I ate before I came.”

                 He parked himself in the chair next to her, extending his long legs as she opened the container. The spaghetti and garlic bread looked good, but she had absolutely no desire to eat. Her stomach was too churned up.

                 She managed a few bites and pushed the food around so it would look like she was eating. The only problem was, she could feel Cam’s stare on her and knew he wasn’t fooled.

                 She was saved when Ashley’s father, William Copeland, burst into the waiting room, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s a girl! I have a granddaughter!”

                 The room erupted with excitement. Pippa put her plate down and rose with the others to converge on Mr. Copeland. The smiles were huge. Lots of hugging. It was everything Pippa wanted for her own delivery.

                 A few minutes later, Devon appeared holding a tiny bundle in his arms. He was smiling so big that his face had to hurt. But then Pippa watched as Cam converged on his friend, his own smile a match to Devon’s.

                 Her mouth drooped as Cam peered over the blanket at the baby, his eyes glowing as he and Devon exchanged comments. Worse, Devon readily handed the baby over to Cam and they stood together cooing and talking baby nonsense.

                 Pippa hadn’t thought it possible to hurt more than she had the day of her sonogram. She stood locked in stone as she watched the same man who’d walked away from her and her baby make a total moron of himself over that tiny little girl.

                 Cam handed the baby back, slapped Devon on the back and heartily congratulated him. The room was a buzz of excited chatter, congratulations and oohs and aahs. But Pippa was focused on Cam. Cam, who was smiling. Cam, who was happy. Cam, who clearly had it in him to love.

                 So why couldn’t he love her and their child?





                                      Eighteen

                Pippa was no longer able to stand there and pretend that everything was fine when she was dying on the inside.

                 In the excitement, she was able to slip away unnoticed. As she headed toward the elevator, she bumped into one of Ashley’s cousins and asked her if she’d make Pippa’s excuses to the new mother. She walked into the elevator, turning to stare at the jubilation at the opposite end of the corridor. Tears pricked her eyelids as she punched the button for the first floor.

                 Just as the doors started to slide closed, Cam looked up and their gazes connected. His brow furrowed and he started forward, but the gap closed and the elevator began its descent.

                 Realizing that Cam would likely come down after her, she headed out and crossed the street, deciding to walk a few blocks before hailing a cab.

                 The night air was chilly despite the earlier sunshine and warmth. And what a perfect day it had been for Ashley’s baby girl to be born. Spring. The beginning of new life. A fresh start. Life after a long winter.

                 So symbolic, and yet for her, spring meant death.

                 Okay, so she was being a little dramatic, but sadness had a firm grip on her throat and it wasn’t letting go.

                 She loved Cam. Despite his many flaws.

                 But she wanted him to smile at her and their child the way he’d looked down and smiled at Devon and Ashley’s daughter. She wanted to see him light up and look…happy. Had he ever seemed so carefree when he was with her?

                 It had been like looking at an entirely different person. Was this the way he was around people he cared about? Ashley had said he was always gentle and even tender with her.

                 So it wasn’t that he didn’t care about people or that he was incapable of love. It was just as he’d said. He didn’t want to love her. Or their son.

                 A sob escaped as she raised her hand to hail an oncoming cab. It never slowed and she dropped her hand, staring down the street in search of the next one.

                 Tears streaked down her cheeks, but she made no effort to wipe them away. What was the point?

                 She leaned out when she saw another cab approach and slow down. She climbed in, barely managing to tell the driver her cross street. He gave her an odd look in his rearview mirror as he pulled into traffic.

                 Her cell phone rang but she didn’t bother to dig it out of her purse. It was Cam. She’d known he’d call. After a moment, the phone went silent and then a ping sounded, signaling a text message.

                 She was nearing her apartment, when her phone rang again. It was Ashley’s ringtone. Pippa dug into her purse, fumbling for the phone.

                 “Ash?” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

                 “No, it’s Devon.”

                 Pippa went silent for a moment. “Is everything okay with Ashley and the baby?”

                 “I’m more concerned with whether you’re all right,” Devon said in a low voice.

                 “I’m f-fine,” she said in a shaky voice. “Really. I hope I didn’t hurt Ashley’s feelings by not hanging around. I just figured she’d be exhausted and with all her family there I’d just be in the way.”

                 “You’re never in the way, Pippa,” Devon said gently. It was as if he knew precisely how upset Pippa was. As if he was standing in front of her, watching her cry. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I know…I know it had to be hard for you to see that. Cam, I mean.”

                 It was then Pippa realized that Devon had indeed picked up on the very thing she had. She closed her eyes, a fresh resurgence of tears sliding hotly down her cheeks.

                 “I appreciate your concern, Dev. Truly. But I’m okay. You should be focusing on Ashley and that beautiful baby girl. Tell Ash that I’ll come see her tomorrow when things are a little less crazy, I promise. But you’re right. I couldn’t stay there tonight. I…I just had to go.”

                 “I understand,” Devon said. “Chin up, Pippa. If killing him would help, I’d give serious consideration to it. Only the knowledge that I was once the same sort of bastard and that I eventually saw the light is saving me from tossing him off a bridge.”

                 Pippa smiled as her cab pulled to a stop. “Thanks, Dev. I’m home now so I’ll let you get back to your family. Give Ash my love and I’ll see her tomorrow.”

                 “Take care, Pippa,” Devon said. “If you need us, you know we’re here.”

                 “I do know,” she said softly.

                 She thrust money at the driver and then ducked out and hurried down the sidewalk toward her apartment. She glanced down at her phone to see she had several text messages. All from Cam.

                 The last?

                 Damn it, Pippa. Pick up the phone. What happened? Are you all right?

                She slid the phone back into her purse and grabbed her keys as she mounted the steps to her door.

                 No, she wasn’t all right. She’d never been so not all right in her life.

                * * *

                 The next day was a test of her endurance. She woke early after having not slept well at all and went into the café to get a start on the baking.

                 She enjoyed a steady stream of customers, many effusive in their praise of her goodies. She should be on top of the freaking world but it was all she could do to keep her head up for the duration of the day.

                 The only thing that made it bearable was the fact that Cam didn’t show up. She was half-afraid he would after she refused to answer his calls or texts the night before.

                 After locking up, she went home and took a long nap. Or at least she tried. She lay down and went through the motions of napping, but her mind wouldn’t shut down and all she could do was replay Cam’s smile and his joy from the night before.

                 She was wrung out, disillusioned, and she knew it was time for her to make a decision. She could no longer afford to hang around hoping that one day Cam woke up, pulled his head out of his ass and realized his life wasn’t over.

                 She pushed herself from the bed, made a halfhearted attempt to straighten her appearance and then trudged to her kitchen to get a drink and try to shake the cobwebs from her brain.

                 First she’d go visit Ashley and make up for the fact that she’d bailed on her the day before. Her friends came first.

                 Not bothering with a coat—it was her hope that the chilly evening air would give her a much-needed wake up—she left her apartment and walked to the end of the block to hail a cab. She just didn’t have it in her to walk the extra few blocks to the subway.

                 When she got to the hospital, visitor hours were almost over but she headed up to the maternity ward, anyway. The worst they could do was kick her out.

                 She knocked quietly on Ashley’s door, hoping her friend wasn’t asleep. A moment later, the door opened and Devon appeared.

                 “Come on in,” Devon said with apparent relief. His gaze sharpened as he took in Pippa’s appearance, and without a further word, he simply pulled her into his arms and gave her a huge hug.

                 She hadn’t known just how badly she needed that until his arms surrounded her. She bit into her lip to keep from bursting into tears on the spot. She was here to see Ashley and the baby, not blubber all over her and her husband.

                 “Thank you,” Pippa whispered against Devon’s chest. “How is Ash?”

                 “Go see for yourself,” he said as he pulled away. “She’s holding Katelynn now.”

                 Pippa hurried past the private bathroom and approached the bed. She stopped and stared at the beautiful sight of Ashley with her daughter cradled in her arms.

                 Ashley smiled broadly. “Hey, Pip. Come on over and see her. She’s so beautiful.”

                 “You’re breast-feeding her?” Pippa whispered as she went to Ashley’s bedside and stared down at the tiny infant. “Is it hard?”

                 Ashley smiled. “A little at first but the nurses here are so great. They helped a lot and then Katelynn did the rest. She’s a real champ at it now.”

                 Devon pushed a chair to the side of the bed and motioned for Pippa to sit.

                 “So Dev said Cam was a real butthead last night,” Ashley said in a low voice.

                 Pippa sighed. “Let’s not talk about him, Ash. This is your time to be happy and enjoy your beautiful baby without listening to your friend complain.”

                 Ashley gently broke suction and pulled her gown back to cover her breast. Then she looked toward Devon. “Want to see if she’ll burp for you?”

                 Devon reached over Pippa to take the bundle and went to sit in the recliner by the window.

                 “Now,” Ashley said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Spill. You look terrible, Pip. You’re clearly unhappy.”

                 The knot grew larger in Pippa’s throat and her eyes clouded with tears once again.

                 “I’m miserable, but it’s my own fault. I totally set myself up for this. I walked into this knowing the score. I’m just frustrated and heartsick. I’m going to confront him, Ash. It’s stupid but it’s something I have to do.”

                 Ashley reached over to take her hand and squeeze. “What are you going to say to him?”

                 Pippa emitted a harsh laugh that grated on her own ears. “I’m going to tell him I love him.”

                 Ashley blew out her breath. “You’re so much braver than I am. You always were.”

                 “Yeah, but you’re smarter, so we’re even,” Pippa muttered.

                 “Not true. Okay, so after you tell him you love him, what then?”

                 Pippa sighed. “Then nothing. He’ll do what he always does and I’ll walk away but this time it’ll be for good. I just feel like I have to give him this last chance. Or maybe it’s just me and I want one last chance. Either way, I need it to be final. I can’t continue this hot-and-cold thing we have going. My eyes were opened last night. I realized that he’s happy around other people. Just not me. And that hurt.”

                 “Oh, Pip,” Ashley said, her whole face a mask of sympathy. “I wish…”

                 “I do, too,” Pippa said. “But wishes aren’t real. Wishing is for fairy tales. Cam is no Prince Charming and I’m no princess living happily ever after.”

                 Ashley seemed to be on the verge of tears and the very last thing Pippa wanted was to further upset her friend. Not when she should be on top of the world. So she forced cheer into her voice and a smile onto her lips as she rose to hug Ashley.

                 “I’m going to steal that baby from Devon for a minute and then I’m going to get out of here and let you rest.”

                 She turned toward Devon, who slowly lifted his daughter away from his shoulder and placed her in Pippa’s arms.

                 She held the baby close, studying every inch of her softness. She touched the tuft of hair on top of Katelynn’s head, feeling the silky, delicate strands. Someone had affixed a tiny little bow just in front of her soft spot. Pink and girlie. So much like Ashley.

                 She ran her finger over the tiny fingertips and watched in fascination as they curled around Pippa’s own finger and made a tight fist.

                 She was instantly and completely won over, heart and soul. She was absolutely in love with this little girl. Who wouldn’t be? But then it had been the same when she’d seen her son on the sonogram monitor for the first time. Instant love. Unconditional. A bond that couldn’t be broken.

                 It hadn’t been the same for Cam. He hadn’t been able to leave fast enough.

                 She briefly closed her eyes and then lowered her head so she could brush her lips across Katelynn’s forehead. She inhaled the sweet baby scent and then brought the baby back over to where Ashley lay.

                 “She’s absolutely perfect, Ash. You did good.”

                 Ashley beamed and held out her arms to collect her daughter. Then she looked back up at Pippa.

                 “It’s going to be okay, Pippa.”

                 Pippa nodded because there was nothing else to do. She turned to offer Devon a wave. “I’ll see you guys later.”

                 “Call me if you need anything,” Devon said.

                 Pippa nodded and then walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. She checked her watch and stood there a long moment, simply leaning against the wall in the hallway.

                 There was no way she would sleep tonight. Not until she settled things with Cam. She had to get this over with before it ate her alive.

                 It would be a long trip on an already late night, and it meant dragging Cam out of his bed, but at the moment she didn’t care. One way or another, it would be settled tonight.





                                      Nineteen

                Convincing a cab driver to take her all the way to Greenwich had been next to impossible, and it was going to cost her a fortune to boot. The ride seemed interminable and traffic was heavy even at the late hour. By the time she reached Cam’s gate, it was past midnight. He might not even be there for all she knew, but she suspected he was. He’d retreated to Greenwich with increasing frequency lately.

                 They waited at the gate while the driver spoke through the intercom. It wasn’t Cam who answered. She was pretty certain it was John. A moment later, the gate swung open and the cab pulled up the driveway. He parked in front and she paid him and got out after telling him not to wait.

                 John opened the front door and came out to greet her, worry on his face.

                 “Is Cam home?” she asked quietly.

                 “He is. He retired an hour ago,” John replied as he ushered her inside.

                 “I need to see him. I’ll wait in his office.”

                 She didn’t give John a chance to argue. She simply turned and walked across the living room to the office. She didn’t bother turning on the lights. There was something soothing about the darkness.

                 She stopped by the window, staring out into the night, at the bright, star-filled sky. Fairy dust. A million wishes. She only needed one. Just one.

                 The door opened behind her. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then turned to see Cam standing there in the dark.

                 “Pippa?”

                 There was concern and bewilderment in his voice. He took another step forward and then reached down to turn on a lamp that rested on the table by one of the armchairs.

                 She flinched at the sudden burst of light and turned away, not wanting him to see what she was sure was obvious on her face. But how could she hide it? How could she hide how devastated she was?

                 “What’s wrong, Pippa? What are you doing all the way out here at this time of night?”

                 She swallowed, squared her shoulders and then took a deep breath. She turned to face him fully, uncaring of what he’d see.

                 “Are we done, Cam?” she asked bluntly.

                 He blinked in surprise. He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut again and frowned. “I’m not sure what to say here.”

                 She took a step forward. “Let me make this easy for you, Cam. I love you.”

                 He went pale and flinched. His reaction spoke volumes. It told her everything she needed to know but some demon inside her persisted. She’d gone this far and she’d see it to the bitter end even if it humiliated her in the process.

                 “I need to know where I stand,” she said in an even voice. “One minute you seem to want me and we act like—we are—lovers. The next you can’t get away from me fast enough and you’re cold, like I’m some random stranger.”

                 Cam’s lips tightened. “I was honest with you from the onset.”

                 She nodded. “Yes, you were. No doubt about that. But you’re sending mixed signals. Your actions contradict your words. I need to know if I have a chance here, Cam.”

                 He started to turn away and it infuriated her.

                 “Don’t turn your back on me,” she bit out. “At least give me that. Face me and tell me why you can’t give me commitment, why you can’t love me. I understand you lost people you loved. I get it. But it’s time to move on. You have a child, a son, who needs you. I need you,” she finished in an aching voice.

                 Cam whirled back around, his eyes flashing furiously. “Move on? You get it? How the hell do you get it, Pippa? You think that by spouting some clichéd armchair psychology crap at me that I’m supposed to say, oh, you’re right, and then live happily ever after?”

                 “What I think is that it’s ridiculous to believe you can’t love anyone else.”

                 He closed his eyes and his jaw tightened. When he reopened them, he stared directly at her, his tone even. “It’s not that I can’t love again. I’m not one of these people who believes you only get one shot, that there’s only one soul mate out there and if you screw that up you’re out of luck for the rest of your life.”

                 Her mouth fell open because, of all things, this was not what she’d expected to hear. “Then why?” she whispered. “Why can’t you love me and our baby?”

                 He slapped his hands down on his desk and glared at her with eyes so dark and haunted that she flinched.

                 “It’s not that I can’t love you, Pippa. I don’t want to. Do you understand? I don’t want to love you.”

                 She recoiled, so stunned that she couldn’t even respond. She wrapped her arms around her belly and stood back, hurt spreading to every corner of her soul.

                 His words when they came were angry and frustrated, as though he hated having to explain himself, as if he hated admitting what he’d just blurted out.

                 “If I don’t love you, then it won’t hurt me if something happens to you. If I don’t love you, then nothing you do will touch me. I don’t ever want to feel the way I did when I watched Elise and Colton die in front of me. You can’t possibly understand that. I hope you never have to.”

                 Her arms crept tighter around herself, as if to ward off the unbearable pain of his rejection.

                 “You would shut out me and your own child because you’re too afraid to take that risk?” she asked hoarsely. “What kind of an unfeeling monster are you?”

                 He jabbed a finger in her direction. “You’ve got that right. Unfeeling. It’s exactly the way I want to be. I don’t want to feel a damn thing.”

                 Anger hummed through her veins, replacing the ice that had rapidly formed. “You bastard. You callous, manipulative bastard. What the hell have you been doing for the past months? If you were so determined not to have a relationship, then why did you continue to make love to me?”

                 His gaze dropped and guilt shadowed his face.

                 “Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Am I supposed to be all sympathetic and pet your poor damaged heart just because something horrible happened to you in the past? I’ve got news for you, Cam. Life sucks. It isn’t perfect for anyone and you aren’t special. Bad things happen to people all the time but they don’t become heartless jerks and piss on everyone around them. They get up, dust themselves off and keep on living. Maybe you never got that memo.”

                 “That’s enough,” he said tightly.

                 “Oh, hell, no, it isn’t. I’m just getting warmed up and you’re going to listen to everything I have to say. You owe me that much. One day you’ll regret this. You’ll regret that you turned your back on me and our baby. You’ll find someone you want to marry and you’ll think about the fact that you have a son out there who never had a father because you were a coward.”

                 “Somehow I don’t think my future wife would care for the fact that my mistress and our love child were in such close proximity,” he snapped.

                 The blood left her face and she took another step back as if he’d physically hit her. His face went gray and he started toward her as if he knew he’d gone too far.

                 She held up her hand to halt him. She was barely holding on to her composure and only her pride was keeping her upright at this point. This was pointless. They were two snapping dogs trying to hurt each other with quick, angry words. It solved nothing. It never would.

                 “We’re done,” she said in a cold voice. “I want nothing from you, Cam. Not your support. Not your money. Definitely not your presence. I don’t want you anywhere near me or my child. My child. Not yours. You don’t want us and quite frankly we don’t need you.”

                 “Pippa…”

                 She shook her head. “I don’t want to hear it. But know this, Cam. One day you’re going to wake up and realize you’ve made a horrible, horrible mistake. I won’t be there.” She cupped her hands over her belly. “We won’t be there. I deserve more. I deserve a man who’ll give me everything and not just throw money or convenience at me. More than that, my child deserves more. He deserves a father who’ll love him unconditionally. Who’ll go to the wall for him every damn day. Not a father incapable of loving anyone but himself.”

                 She turned to walk out but paused at the door. She faced him one last time, ignoring the utter bleakness in his eyes.

                 “I loved you, Cam. I never asked you for anything. That’s true. And yes, you were up front from the beginning, so shame on me for changing the rules. I have equal responsibility for this debacle, but just because I made a mistake doesn’t mean that I’m going to punish myself for the rest of my life and I’m damn sure not going to make my child suffer for my stupidity. I’d tell you to have a nice life, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to be possible because you’re far too content to wallow in your misery.”

                 She yanked open the door and walked out, slamming it behind her. It wasn’t until she got outside the front entrance that she remembered she hadn’t asked the cabbie to wait and now she was stranded at this damn monstrosity of a house.

                 “Miss Laingley, will you allow me to drive you home?”

                 She turned to see John standing there, his eyes soft with sympathy. It was the last straw. She burst into tears and then allowed him to guide her toward the waiting car.





                                      Twenty

                Cam sank into the chair behind his desk and buried his face in his hands.

                 He’d followed Pippa out the door and seen that John was giving her a ride home. He’d watched as the car drove down the lane, the lights disappearing in the distance.

                 For how long he stood there, numb, he didn’t know. He realized the door was still open and the wind had picked up. A chill had stolen over him but he knew it wasn’t the temperature. He was cold on the inside. Dead. Still breathing and yet dead. He had been for a long time.

                 Now, sitting at his desk, his gut clenched. His chest ached. It shouldn’t. He should be relieved. It was done. There was no possible way for Pippa to misunderstand.

                 Clean break. He’d done exactly what he should have done from the very beginning.

                 So why didn’t he feel vindicated? Relieved, even? He should be glad. He could go back to his unemotional existence where he didn’t have to feel pain.

                 Only none of that was true. He hurt now. He hurt so damn much that he couldn’t breathe around the knot in his throat.

                 He’d lost Pippa.

                 The very thing he’d tried to protect himself from was the pain of loss. The despair and frustration of not being able to keep a loved one safe was his reality. Right here, right now.

                 He’d lost Pippa. He’d lost his son.

                 His son.

                 An innocent, precious life.

                 A child who deserved to have the world at his feet. Two parents who loved him. A father who’d protect him from all the hurts and disappointments life had to offer.

                 Oh, God, he was a bastard. He was such an unfeeling monster, just what Pippa had accused him of being. Only he wasn’t unfeeling. Right now he’d give anything not to be able to feel this agony.

                 Seeing Pippa tonight and the evidence of just how low he’d brought her down made him want to die. She’d stood before him, pain in her eyes, and yet she’d still put herself out there. She’d taken a chance. Laid it all out.

                 And he’d slapped her down because he was afraid.

                 It was humbling to realize just what a coward he was. What a coward he had been for so long.

                 He’d been given something many people never got. Something others wished for, would kill for, would live every single day of their life in gratitude for.

                 A second chance.

                 Another chance at something so special and wonderful.

                 Pippa was a breath of fresh air into a life he’d quit living. He went through the motions. He performed. But he’d stopped truly living a long time ago.

                 Pippa had changed all that. From the moment he’d first seen her walk into a room, she’d been like a bolt of lightning to his senses.

                 Her smile, her laughter, her take-no-prisoners attitude. Her confidence. Her inner beauty. And her courage.

                 When he really stopped to consider just how much she’d had to shoulder alone these past few months it made him physically ill. She was young, had plans. She could have anyone and yet she’d chosen him. He’d made her pregnant and yet she soldiered on, making the best of a difficult situation.

                 She’d fought fiercely, was still fighting fiercely for his son. He was so damn proud of her and so damn ashamed of himself that he couldn’t bear to think about it.

                 He didn’t deserve her. She was right about that.

                 But he wanted her. Oh, God, he wanted her.

                 It was laughable that he’d actually thought that he could spare himself the pain of loss by shutting himself off and away, by closing the door on a relationship with Pippa.

                 He’d been so worried about losing her that the very thing he feared the most had happened. At his instigation!

                 Stupid didn’t even begin to cover it.

                 He pushed upward from his chair, suddenly agitated and more determined than he’d ever been in his life.

                 He loved her, damn it.

                 He’d lied to himself and to her. He’d spouted all kinds of crap about not wanting to love her. Yeah, he hadn’t wanted to but he did and that wasn’t going to change.

                 And now he had to crawl on hands and knees and beg her to give him yet another chance.

                 He hurried out of his office and through the kitchen to the garage. He yanked the keys from the hook, and not giving any consideration to how he looked or how he was dressed, he climbed into the Escalade.

                 He was driving back to the damn city and he was going to her apartment and he didn’t care if it was four in the morning. This couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait.

                 Some things needed to be done immediately, and this was one of them. He’d made her wait all this time. He wasn’t waiting another damn moment.

                 It had taken immeasurable courage for her to come to his house and face him down, tell him she loved him and wait with her heart on her sleeve.

                 How could he not do the same for her?

                 It would be the hardest thing and yet the easiest thing he’d ever do. Because when faced with the alternative of living his life without her and their son? Crawling didn’t seem so bad.

                * * *

                 Pippa trudged into her apartment, weariness overtaking her. Her head ached from trying to hold off the tears. Her eyes were swollen and scratchy. She was heartsick and numb from head to toe.

                 She felt…lost. Like she wasn’t sure what came next. There was such finality to her confrontation with Cam. What was she supposed to do?

                 She sank onto the couch, tossed her purse onto the coffee table and closed her eyes. Her head throbbed. She needed sleep. At least there, she could escape for a while and not feel so horrible.

                 She arranged one of the cushions against the arm of the couch and pulled her feet up, curling up on her side. Exhaustion beat at her, making her remember that between her grand opening, Ashley giving birth and all the angst over Cam, she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in longer than she could remember.

                 She pulled out her phone, looked at the time and winced. She’d need to be up in just a couple of hours. She set the alarm on her phone so she’d be sure to wake and then she reached over to set it on top of the coffee table next to her purse.

                 Then she closed her eyes and let the comforting blanket of sleep slide over her.

                * * *

                The smell of smoke woke Pippa from a dead sleep. She opened her eyes, confused by the darkness and the acrid smell of something burning. She blinked away the cloud of disorientation and then shoved herself up from the couch in horror.

                 Flames surrounded her and the scorching heat singed her skin. Everywhere there was a wall of orange fire and smoke billowing heavily. It was so dense she had no idea where she was or which way was out or if there even was a way out.

                 She breathed in and then coughed as her lungs burned. Panic slammed into her as she realized the horrific danger she was in.

                 Clutching her belly, she lunged from the couch, trying to see through the flames and smoke to know if she could make it to the door.

                 Then she remembered that in a fire, the safest place to be was as close to the floor as possible. She dropped down, as low as she could with her burgeoning belly, and pulled her shirt up to cover her nose and mouth.

                 Her phone. Where was her phone?

                 She turned back but lost sight of the couch in the haze of smoke. She was fast becoming so disoriented that if she didn’t do something now she was going to die.

                 She closed her eyes and pictured the layout of the room and forced her panic down so she could focus. She knew every inch of her apartment and she wasn’t going to let her hysteria make her do something stupid.

                 She had to save her baby. She had to save herself.

                 Still holding her shirt over her face, she began to crawl in the direction of the front door. Above her, flames licked over the ceiling and smoke billowed from every corner. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe and she was sick with worry of what this was doing to her baby.

                 Thoughts of her child renewed her determination to get out no matter what. She scrambled over hot, smoldering rubble and made it to the foyer. Just a little farther. There didn’t appear to be as much smoke close to the door and she put on a burst of speed, ignoring the cuts and burns to her palms and knees.

                 She was a few feet away when the door splintered and cracked and caved in. Smoke began drawing through the opening, pulling around her and enveloping her. She heard a shout and then strong hands gripped her, pulling her upward.

                 The fireman cradled her in his arms and barged out the front door into the cool night air. Around her, the world was a sea of flashing lights, smoke and flames shooting toward the star-filled sky.

                 “Is there anyone else in your apartment?” the fireman yelled to her.

                 She shook her head. “No,” she replied, dismayed by the fact the denial came out in a barely audible croak.

                 He carried her to a waiting ambulance where she was handed over to another man who promptly put her on a stretcher.

                 “The baby,” she rasped out. “I’m pregnant.”

                 An oxygen mask covered her face, blocking out anything further she’d say. The next thing she knew, she was laid flat, pushed into the back of the ambulance and two paramedics hovered anxiously over.

                 There was a prick in her arm. They shouted down questions to her. She tried to tell them she was okay, but she couldn’t say anything through the mask and her throat hurt too badly, anyway.

                 Numbly she lay there, trying to process what had just happened. Darkness grew around the edges of her sight and then one of the medics leaned down close, shouting at her to stay awake and with them.

                 “There’s nothing wrong with me,” she tried to say, but she couldn’t get her mouth to work.

                 She blinked twice and then the world went black around her.





                                      Twenty-one

                As soon as Cam turned onto Pippa’s street, his stomach dropped and his mouth went dry. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles as he accelerated.

                 The entire world was ablaze with flashing lights. Police cars, ambulances, fire trucks. The smell of smoke was heavy, and the sky was colored orange with the glow of flames.

                 He screeched to a halt in front of a police barricade and he was out of his SUV like a shot, running toward Pippa’s apartment. The entire row of buildings was ablaze and firemen directed a steady stream of water from multiple directions.

                 “Hey! You can’t go in there!”

                 He ignored the shout, his only thought to get to Pippa. Oh, God. Not again. Anything but this. He couldn’t lose her! A sob tore from his throat.

                 He’d just reached the front line of fire trucks and ambulances when he was hit by a flying tackle. He hit the ground hard and came up swinging. A police officer hovered over him, shouting something Cam couldn’t hear or understand.

                 Another officer joined in, helping wrestle Cam to the ground.

                 “Get off me!” he yelled hoarsely. “I have to get to her. Pippa! She’s pregnant! I have to save her.”

                 “You aren’t going anywhere,” the officer growled as he exerted more pressure over Cam’s neck. “Get it together, son. The entire block is on fire. You’ll just get yourself killed.”

                 “Don’t make us arrest you,” the other officer threatened. “I get that you’re worried, but they’re doing everything they can to make sure everyone gets out. Let them do their job. The last thing they need is to have to go in to save your stupid ass.”

                 “Let me up,” Cam demanded. “I have to know if she’s okay. Did they get her out?”

                 Slowly the first officer eased up on the arm across Cam’s throat. He glanced warily at Cam as he and the other officer hauled Cam to his feet.

                 “Don’t make any sudden moves,” the officer warned.

                 Cam put his hands up, his heart pounding with dread as he eyed the carnage around him. This was his worst nightmare playing out in real time.

                 Fate was dealing him yet another blow, one he may never recover from. But no, this wasn’t fate. He could have prevented this. If only he’d reached out as she had done. If he’d only been willing to take the chance that she had taken by coming to him.

                 He alone was at fault. If something happened to Pippa and their child, his life was over.

                 “Pippa,” he said hoarsely. “Pippa Laingley. She lived there.” He pointed at her apartment, his hand shaking, his voice cracking under the weight of his terror. “She would have just gotten home not so long ago. She was tired and upset. Please, can you just tell me if they found her?”

                 The officer pointed at Cam, his expression stern. “You stay here. I’ll go see what I can find out.” He gestured for the other officer to stay with Cam.

                 He watched the officer wade through the firefighters and other EMS workers. It was all he could do to stand there while his heart was dying with each breath. The officer standing beside him eyed him with sympathy.

                 “They got several out already,” he said in a low voice. “Many have already been taken to the hospital. I’m sure if she was in there that they got her.”

                 A few moments later, the first officer returned, a grim expression on his face. Cam lunged forward, getting so close he was almost pressing up against the policeman’s chest.

                 “They took her away in an ambulance maybe a half hour ago. She was one of the first they got out. I don’t have any further details. It’s crazy right now, but they said she was conscious and appeared to be unharmed.”

                 Cam’s knees buckled and he nearly went down. All his breath rushed out in a violent explosion of relief.

                 “Whoa, steady there. Maybe you should take a seat.”

                 Cam shook his head. “No. I have to go. Where did they take her?”

                 He was already turning to run to his SUV when the officer called after him with the name of the hospital. Cam sprinted from the scene, got into his truck and pulled away from the chaos.

                 He had to force himself not to drive recklessly when all he could think was to get to Pippa as fast as he could. He had to see her. Had to know she was all right. Had to hold her again and tell her everything that was in his heart. Everything he’d been too stubborn and too stupid to tell her before.

                 He only hoped to hell she would listen.

                * * *

                 Pippa lay on the uncomfortable bed in the small cubicle in the emergency room as nurses came and went. Her horrific panic had settled somewhat with the news from the doctor that the baby was okay. She hadn’t been subjected to the smoke long enough to do any lasting damage to her or the baby.

                 But she kept imagining what could have happened.

                 What if she hadn’t awakened when she had? What if she hadn’t gotten out as soon as she did?

                 The images wouldn’t go away.

                 She rubbed her belly in a soothing circle, reassured by the baby’s movements. The past hour had been a blur as she’d been poked, prodded, stuck, checked over. A sonogram had been ordered and she’d gotten to see for herself that her baby was still there, still alive and didn’t seem in any distress.

                 She reeked of smoke. She looked like hell. But she didn’t care. All that mattered was that her baby was okay.

                 Her door opened and to her surprise Devon poked his head in. To her further surprise, Ashley came in behind him and all but ran to Pippa’s bedside.

                 “Pippa! Oh, my God,” Ashley choked out.

                 Ashley threw her arms around Pippa, who lay there, stunned and unable to find her voice.

                 “What on earth?” she finally managed to sputter. “Ashley, what are you doing here? You just had a baby! You should be in bed.”

                 Devon came around to the other side of Pippa’s bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “We were worried, Pippa. When we heard, Ashley had to come right down. I couldn’t very well tell her no.”

                 Pippa frowned. “You should have. Where’s Katelynn? Ash, are you okay?”

                 Ashley hugged Pippa fiercely and then pulled away, her eyes flashing. “I’m fine! The question is how are you? I had a baby, Pip. Normal delivery. I’ve been up walking around all day. And Katelynn is in the nursery for now. Tell me what on earth happened!”

                 Ashley slid onto the edge of the bed beside Pippa and grasped her hand, squeezing tightly. It was the last straw. Tears streaked down Pippa’s cheeks and she hiccuped back a sob.

                 Devon gently stroked Pippa’s hair. Ashley gathered Pippa’s hands in hers and leaned forward, concern etched on her brow.

                 “Oh, Ashley,” Pippa whispered. “It’s been such an awful night.”

                 “Wait, did you go see Cam?” Her eyes widened as she seemed to realize something. “Oh, no. What happened?”

                 “It’s over,” Pippa said, her voice cracking under the emotional strain and the rawness from the smoke. “I went to his house, told him I loved him and now it’s over.”

                 Ashley held on to her tightly, rubbing her hand up and down Pippa’s back.

                 “I’m going to step outside,” Devon murmured. “Give you girls some time alone. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside the door.”

                 He gave her one last affectionate touch on the arm and then left.

                 Ashley pulled away and gently pushed Pippa’s bedraggled hair from her face. “Tell me everything, starting with what the doctor said. You scared me to death. I want to know you’re okay first and then I want to know everything that happened at Cam’s.”

                 “The doctor says I’m fine. The baby is fine. I went to sleep on the couch and when I woke up, the whole apartment was on fire. But I got out before I inhaled too much smoke. I was lucky. I’m a bit scraped up from crawling, but I’ll be fine. The doctor even says that I can go home by tomorrow afternoon.…”

                 She trailed off, realizing that she no longer had a home.

                 Fresh tears surged, spilling down her cheeks.

                 “It’ll be okay, Pip,” Ashley soothed. “I promise you. I don’t want you to worry. Mama will be here later in the morning. You know she loves you just like a daughter. She’s already making plans to bring you home with her and take care of you.”

                 Pippa smiled shakily. “You have no idea how much I need her right now.” She broke off and sighed. “I should be happy. I made a decision. I told Cam off. Rightfully so. But I’m so miserable. I love that jerk and I’m mad that I can’t make it stop.”

                 “Tell me,” Ashley said quietly.

                 Pippa looked down at her hands, humiliation and devastation pummeling her all over again. “He told me he didn’t want to love me or our baby. Not that he couldn’t or that he didn’t believe he’d ever find another soul mate. Just that he didn’t want to love us. He was so…cold.”

                 Ashley scowled. “I hate him. I don’t care if he’s Dev’s best friend. I swear the man fell out of the stupid tree and hit every damn branch on the way down.”

                 Pippa tried to laugh but she dissolved into a coughing fit instead.

                 “Easy,” Ashley murmured. “Catch your breath. You’ve been through a lot tonight.”

                 “Oh, God. It all feels so unreal.”

                 Ashley squeezed her hands again. “I don’t want you to stress about this. I know that sounds absurd. You’ve had the rug pulled out from underneath you and right now you likely think your entire world is falling apart. But it’s going to be okay. You have me. You have Mama. You have Sylvia, Carly and Tabitha to help. Devon will do whatever he can, you know that. Please don’t make yourself sick worrying. Right now you just need to focus on you and the baby and making sure you’re both healthy.”

                 Pippa gave her a watery smile. “Thank you. I love you, Ash. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”

                 “I want you to get some rest now, okay? It’s almost time for Katelynn’s next feeding so I’m going to go back up, but I’ll have Dev check in on you. Mama will bring you something to wear home. I want to know the minute you’re released. I’m supposed to go home today, too, so maybe we can blow this joint together.”

                 Pippa squeezed Ashley’s hand. “Thanks, Ash. You’re the best. Kiss that baby for me.”

                 Ashley fussed with the pillow and tucked the sheet more firmly around Pippa before she finally backed away from the bed and started for the door.

                 As soon as Ashley disappeared from view, Pippa closed her eyes and melted into the bed. Exhaustion beat at her. She’d reached her absolute limit. She was physically and emotionally spent. There was nothing left except vast emptiness and an unnerving ache in her heart.





                                      Twenty-two

                Cam strode through the doors of the E.R. and went to the desk to inquire about Pippa. He blatantly lied, saying he was her husband and then demanding to see her. One of the nurses motioned him through a series of doors and then pointed down the hall and told him she was in room seven.

                 As he rushed forward, he realized that Devon was standing out in the hall. He was about to call out when the door to Pippa’s room opened and Ashley came out.

                 Devon put his arm around his wife and started to lead her down the hall when he and Ashley both looked up and saw Cam.

                 He hadn’t expected there to be much love for him from Ashley at the moment, but the anger in Devon’s tight expression surprised him.

                 “How is she?” he demanded.

                 He would have just shoved by and gone into her room, but Devon blocked him. Then Ashley put her hand on Cam’s arm, which halted him immediately. He had no desire to risk hurting her. She shouldn’t even be running around the hospital after just having had a baby.

                 “Cam, please,” Ashley said softly. “Leave her be.”

                 He backed away and shoved his hand through his hair.

                 “Leave her be? I need to see her. I need to see for myself that she’s okay. You can’t possibly understand what it was like to drive up to her apartment and imagine that she was trapped inside that inferno.”

                 It made him sick all over again just thinking about it. It was an image that would live with him for a long time to come.

                 “She’s exhausted. She needs rest. Cam, she’s so…fragile right now.”

                 Her hesitant description only made him more determined to get into that room.

                 Ashley gripped his arm once more and it was only then he realized he’d moved forward.

                 “Let her rest. You’ve done enough tonight. You can’t barge in there and upset her. She’s been through hell. She doesn’t know you were the one who called us. She didn’t even ask us how we knew she was here.”

                 He closed his eyes as bleakness settled over him. “She hates me.”

                 “No, she loves you,” Ashley said softly. “And that’s the problem. It’s why you can’t go in there and take advantage of how distraught and run-down she is. I’ll never forgive you if you don’t give her some space and let her at least sleep a few hours. She looks terrible, Cam. Part of that is your fault.”

                 “Don’t upset her,” Devon said, speaking up for the first time. “Ashley’s right. She’s extremely fragile right now. Barging in there to assuage your guilt won’t make that any better. For once think of someone other than yourself.”

                 The angry censure in Devon’s voice made Cam flinch.

                 “This has nothing to do with guilt,” he said in frustration. “Damn it, I love her. I have to tell her. I can’t let things go the way they ended between us.”

                 Devon put his hand on Cam’s shoulder. “If you love her, then it’ll wait. You can wait. Don’t push right now, Cam. I promise you, the result won’t be good. She’s past her breaking point.”

                 “I’m not leaving,” Cam said fiercely.

                 “Nobody says you have to.”

                 Cam closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging. “All right. I won’t go in now.”

                 The idea that she was exhausted, weak and emotionally spent tore at him. He wanted nothing more than to hold her. To cradle her in his arms, whisper that he loved her and that everything would be all right.

                 He hadn’t been there for her before but he’d be damned if he’d desert her now.

                 Ashley’s gaze found his and her big blue eyes stared imploringly at him. But they also held a warning.

                 “Make this right with her, Cam. And don’t you ever hurt her again.”

                 “I’ll spend the rest of my life loving and protecting her if she’ll have me.”

                 Devon blew out his breath. “Yeah, that’s the big question, man. You’re not going to have an easy time of this.”

                 Cam knew it but his heart still sank at the conviction in Devon’s voice.

                 “I’ll be down later to check in on her,” Devon said.

                 It was a warning to Cam that Devon would be back and that he better not find her upset. Cam acknowledged him with a nod and then watched as Devon and Ashley slowly walked down the hall.

                 Cam glanced at the closed door, wishing for the world that he could just see her. Just touch her. He walked to the end of the corridor and grabbed a chair. He set it across from Pippa’s door and sat down to begin his vigil.

                 He wasn’t leaving.

                 And so he sat, staring broodingly at her door. At one point a nurse went in, giving him an apprehensive glance. A moment later, she came back out and Cam surged to his feet.

                 “How is she?” he asked, his voice almost a croak.

                 The nurse stared at him a moment, her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry but I’m not allowed to give out that information.”

                 “I’m her husband,” he said, and then realized how stupid it seemed for him to be sitting in the hall if he were married to her. “I…I just wanted her to rest and I’ve been so worried. I didn’t want to put additional stress on her.”

                 Her expression softened. “She’s sleeping. Quite soundly. She never even moved when I checked her vitals.”

                 Cam nodded and murmured his thanks. He wiped nervous palms down his pant legs as the nurse hurried away and then he tentatively opened the door, careful to not make a sound.

                 If she was asleep, then she’d never know he was here. He could watch her for a while and know that she was safe. He eased the door open farther and stepped inside, his gaze immediately seeking her out in the semidarkened room.

                 She was lying on a narrow bed with her back elevated. She was sleeping as the nurse had said, but she didn’t look at all comfortable. She was sagging to one side and seemed precariously close to sliding off the bed.

                 He took another step closer and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. Fragile had been a good word to describe her. She looked so small against the bed. Her hair was in disarray. He could smell the faint scent of smoke.

                 She was pale and her face seemed thinner. There were dark smudges underneath her eyes. His gaze dropped to her hands and he frowned to see scrapes on her palms.

                 She looked worn through. As Devon had said, past her limits. Cam had pushed her there.

                 Unable to resist, he lowered his fingers, simply wanting to touch her. He traced the lines of her face, gently pushing back a tendril of hair that rested close to her mouth.

                 Then he bent and gently kissed her forehead, closing his eyes and allowing his mouth to rest there for the briefest of moments.

                 “I love you,” he whispered.

                * * *

                 Pippa awoke with the nagging sense that she’d missed something. Her dreams had been odd, occupied by Cam and infinite tenderness instead of flames, smoke and fear. They had been nice but bizarre.

                 There was no clock in the room and if it weren’t for the bright sunlight streaming through the small window, she’d have no idea it was daytime.

                 She automatically smoothed her hands over the bulge of her belly and smiled when the baby kicked. Relief was sweet. She and the baby were going to be all right.

                 Just then, her door opened and Gloria Copeland bustled through, looking determined and agitated. But the moment their eyes met, her gaze softened and she rushed over to the bed to enfold Pippa in her arms.

                 “My poor baby,” she crooned. “Are you all right? Devon told me what the doctor said but I’ve been so worried about you.”

                 To Pippa’s never-ending shame, she started crying again. It was becoming ridiculous how easily she became a watering pot.

                 “Oh honey,” Gloria said. “Don’t cry. You know you’re coming to stay with me. I have a bedroom all ready for you. I’m putting you next to Ashley’s old room. I’m hoping she and Katelynn will stay a few days and it’ll be just like old times. Having my girls around will be such a delight. I can fuss over all of you.”

                 “I love you, Mrs. C.” Pippa sniffled.

                 Gloria smoothed Pippa’s bedraggled hair from her face and then kissed her forehead. “I love you too, baby. It’s going to be all right. I promise. It may look bad right now but we’re going to get you back on your feet in no time.”

                 Pippa squeezed Gloria’s hand. “I’m so lucky to have you and Ashley. You’re the only family I have.”

                 And Pippa knew it was true. Blood didn’t count for much at all. Miranda may have given her life, but family wasn’t necessarily about blood. It was about uncompromising love and support. About always being there no matter how hard things were.

                 This was what she wanted for her son. And she’d give it to him no matter what she had to do.

                 Gloria hugged her again, and really, Pippa was perfectly happy to be hugged all day. Each time, a little more of her melancholy drifted away.

                 “Tell you what we’re going to do. I’m going to take you home and put you to bed. As soon as you’re up to it, we’re going to have a spa day. If that doesn’t put the pep back into your step, I don’t know what will. We’ll bring Ashley, too.”

                 Pippa smiled. A girlie day with Ashley and her mom sounded…wonderful.

                 “There now, see? You’re smiling already,” Gloria said. “Seriously, honey, I don’t want you worrying about a thing. I’ll have William sort out your hospital bill. You’ll stay with us until the baby’s born. There’s no sense you shouldering the stress of trying to find a new apartment when you should be focusing on your baby. We’ll have great fun. You’ll see.”

                 Pippa wouldn’t refuse Gloria Copeland’s hospitality even if she wanted to. Nobody ever stood a chance against her. She was a force of nature and Pippa loved her for it.

                 Then she frowned as reality crashed in. “What about my bakery? I can’t just leave it.”

                 “Of course not,” Gloria soothed. “We’ll manage. You have employees who can handle things for a few days while you rest and recover. After that, we’ll work out a way for you to get to work each morning. William will be more than happy to provide a driver for you.”

                 Pippa smiled again. “Thank you. Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Mr. C. and Ashley.”

                 Gloria beamed. “William will be glad to hear that. You know he loves you just as much as I do even if he can be an old goat sometimes.”

                 Pippa snickered.

                 “Now, let me find out when they’re going to let you out of this place,” Gloria said. “The sooner we get you home, the better. We’ll have our physician check in on you daily just to make sure all is well.”

                 Pippa leaned back against the pillows and sighed. Things were already looking up. She’d get beyond this with the help of the people she loved.

                 A few moments later, Gloria returned. Once again she had that odd look on her face as she came through the door.

                 “What did the doctor say?” Pippa asked.

                 Gloria blinked. “Oh, I didn’t talk to him. I spoke to the nurse. She says you’ll be ready to go home in just a couple of hours.”

                 An uneasy feeling crept over Pippa. Something was up with Mrs. C. “Is anything wrong?”

                 Gloria looked up at the sharpness in Pippa’s tone. She glanced back toward the door and then she sighed. “You’ll know soon enough, anyway. Cam’s outside the door. Looks like he’s been there all night. He refuses to budge. Just sits there in that chair and broods. He wanted to come in, but I told him not to. I didn’t want to upset you.”

                 Pippa’s heart thudded painfully. Her fingers automatically curled into fists and she went quiet. Her breathing was loud in the silent room and she stared at the wall as if she could see through it to Cam sitting on the other side.

                 “I don’t want to see him,” she whispered.

                 Gloria put her arm around Pippa’s shoulders and squeezed. “You don’t have to, baby. I just didn’t want you to get a shock when you left and he was there in front of you.”

                 “No, it’s okay. Thank you for the heads-up. It’s just that we have nothing left to say to each other.”

                 Gloria kissed her temple and squeezed her a little harder. “Ashley’s being discharged today and is bringing Katelynn home. We’ll all just go to my apartment together once you’re released.”

                 Pippa nodded numbly, her mind still on Cam. She wasn’t a coward, but the very last thing she wanted right now was another confrontation. His words had cut her to the core and it was a wound she wouldn’t recover from in a day or even a week.

                 One day at a time. Things would get better. She had to believe that.





                                      Twenty-three

                Cam paced the hallway outside of Pippa’s door, wondering at one point why he didn’t just walk in and force a confrontation. Then he shook his head. It wasn’t the time or the place. Devon and Ashley were right. Pippa was holding on by a thread. This wasn’t about him.

                 He glanced up when he saw Devon coming down the hallway.

                 “Have you been in to see her?” Devon asked as he stopped in front of Pippa’s door.

                 Cam shook his head. “Ashley’s mom is in with her. She didn’t want me anywhere near Pippa. I don’t blame her. Where’s Ashley and Katelynn?”

                 “They’re in the car. I pulled it around to the exit. Ashley’s father is out with her. He’s going to drive Pippa and Gloria home.”

                 Cam grimaced and rubbed a hand through his hair. Pippa had no home to return to. But she should. It was with him. Always with him. She should have never been anywhere else all these months.

                 He blew out his breath, not knowing what to do. It was a feeling he wasn’t accustomed to. He was always decisive even when he was dead wrong. He never had a problem knowing what to say even when he was putting his foot in his mouth. Right now he lacked for words.

                 And then Pippa’s door opened and there she stood, Gloria hovering just behind her. His gaze zeroed in on Pippa. She was pale and wan, deep shadows under her eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a rough ponytail and her cheekbones were more pronounced than ever. Her arms even seemed more slender. The only part of her that seemed normal was the bulge in front where their son rested.

                 “Pippa,” he said in a low, unsteady voice. “Thank God you’re okay.”

                 He reached out, wanting to touch her, to somehow confirm that she was really standing before him, but she flinched away. He withdrew his hand, curling his fingers into a tight fist at his side.

                 She started to move past him and he closed his eyes knowing he couldn’t let her walk away. Not again. Not like this.

                 “Pippa, wait, please.”

                 She halted in midstep and stood there a long moment, her back still to him. Then she slowly turned, her eyes dull and lifeless as she stared back at him. Then her chin came up and she squared her shoulders.

                 “Wait outside for me,” she said to Devon and Gloria. “I’ll just be a minute.”

                 Gloria Copeland looked very much like she wanted to argue but she kept her mouth tightly shut.

                 “I’ll wait down the hall so I can walk you out,” Devon said.

                 Pippa nodded and then turned back to Cam as Devon and Gloria walked away.

                 No longer able to keep from touching her, Cam reached out to capture Pippa’s hand. He pulled her close so he could feel the steady reassurance of her heartbeat against his chest. She sagged against him, her sigh hitting him right in the gut. It was a forlorn, tired sigh that told him she was at the end of her rope physically and emotionally.

                 She closed her eyes and turned her face into his neck for just a moment before she pulled away, her expression locked in stone once more.

                 “I need to go. They’re waiting for me.”

                 Cam’s protest was automatic. “You can come home with me, Pippa. I’ll take care of you. We have a lot to talk about. There’s a lot I need to say to you. But my first priority is you.”

                 “No.”

                 He expected more. An argument. Something he could counter. But all she uttered was a clipped no and stared woodenly back at him.

                 His heart lurched. This was so much worse than he’d imagined. All the emotion he’d held back since the night before came rushing forward, bulging in his throat.

                 He put his hand to her face. “My God, Pippa, I thought I’d lost you when I saw the fire and the smoke and all those fire trucks and ambulances.”

                 The cold, lifeless eyes that stared back at him sent chills down his spine. This wasn’t the Pippa he knew. This was someone else entirely. Someone he’d made with his indifference and his determination not to get emotionally involved with her.

                 “I knew this would happen. I knew something would happen and I’d lose you both, and that fear controlled me. It made me do and say horrible things. Things I didn’t mean, Pippa.”

                 “You’re a moron,” she bit out. “You already lost me. The only difference was I didn’t die in the fire. But for all practical purposes I’m dead to you. You lost both of us long before this happened. You spend so much time trying to shield yourself from hurt and you don’t give a damn who you hurt in the process. How’s that working out for you, Cam? Because from where I stand it sucks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I want to go home and go to bed.”

                You already lost me.

                It was a crippling blow even as he knew it was the truth.

                 As she pushed by him, he caught her hand, allowing his fingers to trail over it. Then the connection was lost and she turned away.

                 Cam watched her go, numbness creeping through his body with insidious speed. Her words had penetrated the wall around his heart, the one he’d erected after losing Elise and Colton.

                 Tears burned his eyes until he blinked to ease the discomfort. She’d stormed right past that supposed barrier the first time he’d ever seen her across a crowded room. There had been no defense no matter how hard he’d tried. No keeping her out. No lying to himself.

                 He loved her. Had loved her from the start. He’d never really believed in love at first sight until Pippa. His dumb ass had known even then that she was a threat. And so he’d pushed her away. Tried everything in his power to tell himself he didn’t love her, that he didn’t want to love her.

                 But he did. He wanted to love her more than he wanted to live.

                 And now it was too damn late.

                 A hand came down on his shoulder. Startled, he looked to the side to see that Devon had come back to get him.

                 “I think it’s time you and I had the same talk that I had with Rafe right after I screwed things up so badly with Ashley that I feared I’d never get her back.”

                 Cam shoved his hands into his pockets, despair and hopelessness weighing down on him from all sides.

                 Devon pulled him along, herding him toward the doors. When they got to the parking lot, he shoved Cam inside the car and then walked around to get into the driver’s seat. When they were on their way, Devon glanced over at Cam.

                 “Go big or go home.”

                 Cam rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Stop talking in riddles. Just say it, man.”

                 “I’m saying it. You gotta go big or go home. This is it, Cam. You’re playing for all the marbles. For your future. For your son’s future. This is your last chance. You won’t ever get another. It’s time to pull your head out of your ass and start living again. You’re going to have to crawl to Pippa on your hands and knees and lick her shoes if that’s what it takes.”

                 “I said some unforgivable things.”

                 Devon shrugged. “Define unforgivable. It’s only unforgivable if she refuses to forgive you. And you don’t know if she will because you haven’t begged for it.”

                 “I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me again.”

                 “Neither would I, but are you going to throw in the towel just because you’re a huge ass and don’t deserve another chance with her? Hell, man, we’ve all screwed up. Rafe, Ryan, me and now you. We seem to have a common thread of being the biggest bastards on the face of the earth when it comes to the women we love. But you know what? Bryony forgave Rafe. Kelly forgave Ryan. Ashley forgave me and Pippa will forgive you. You just have to give her the opportunity and the right motivation.”

                 “I love her.”

                 “I know you do. I think you’re the only idiot who didn’t know it until now.”

                 “I can’t believe what I almost did,” Cam said painfully. “I tried to deny her. I tried to deny my own son. How do you ever get over something like that?”

                 “The key word is almost,” Devon said. “Tell her you’re a dumb ass and then swear you’ll wise up and never be a dumb ass again.”

                 Cam sighed. “I just hope she’ll listen.”

                 “You make her listen. If she means enough to you, then you won’t give up so easily.”

                 Mean enough? She was his damn world. Her and their son. It was time to take a chance. The biggest chance of his life. It could end badly. They could be taken from him just like Elise and Colton had been.

                 But it could also end wonderfully. A long life filled with love and laughter. More children. Pippa’s love and her smile. Wasn’t that worth the risk?





                                      Twenty-four

                “Pippa, darling, Cam is here to see you, and I should warn you that he’s vowed to sleep outside our door until you agree to talk with him.”

                 Pippa stared back at Gloria Copeland, her mouth dropping open in astonishment.

                 “Are you serious?”

                 Gloria nodded. “I’m afraid so. He does seem quite determined. I would have thought it an empty threat but he’s carrying an overnight bag with him.”

                 “He doesn’t give up,” Pippa muttered.

                 In the past two days, Cam had haunted Pippa’s existence. He’d called. He’d come by the Copelands’ apartment. He’d gone by her bakery. He’d made it a point to show up in every conceivable place she could possibly be.

                 When none of that appeared to work, he’d resorted to text messages. I love you. Flowers. Tons of flowers. Every card signed I love you. The few times she’d actually come face-to-face with him, he’s just stood there, looking so haunted and determined, his eyes never leaving her face.

                 She felt hunted but not threatened. She was baffled by his persistence, confused by the messages.

                 After hanging on to desperate hope for so long, she’d made the painful, difficult decision to sever her ties to Cam. And now he was storming back, demanding her attention. Wanting things he’d vowed he’d never want from her.

                 It made no sense and she was at her wits’ end.

                 She nibbled at her bottom lip and stared nervously over the back of the couch toward the door. She had no doubt he’d be stubborn. The past two days had proven that much.

                 “What should I do?” she asked anxiously. The very last thing she wanted was to cause trouble for the Copelands when they’d been nothing but kind and generous to her.

                 Gloria smiled indulgently and then came to sit beside her on the couch. She pulled her into a tight hug and patted her comfortingly on the back.

                 “My dear, you do whatever you wish. If you want to talk to him, I’ll be happy to show him in and give you some privacy. Or if you don’t want to be alone I’ll stand guard like a mama lion. If you prefer not to see him, I’ll simply have security remove him from the premises.”

                 “I do love you, Mrs. C. If only…”

                 She broke off with a sigh and looked down.

                 “If only what, dear?”

                 Pippa raised her gaze and smiled. “If only my mother was like you.”

                 Gloria smiled back and then leaned forward to enfold her in another of her glorious hugs. “You know you’re like a daughter to me, and Miranda loves you as much as Miranda is capable of loving anyone.”

                 Pippa sucked in a breath. “You know what? I’m not ready to see him. Not yet. He’d just run over me. When or if I decide to talk to him, it’ll be on my terms. Not his.”

                 “That’s my girl. Okay, let me go make a call to the building security. Now don’t go looking like that. It’ll be quiet and discreet.”

                 Pippa frowned unhappily all the same and hunched her knees toward her chest as Gloria got off the couch to go make the call.

                 She wasn’t being vindictive. She wasn’t being anything at all. She’d said what she’d wanted to say to Cam. There was nothing else.

                 But even as she reassured herself, doubt nagged at her, because somehow she knew this time Cam wouldn’t walk away as he’d done in the past.

                * * *

                 Go big or go home.

                 The past few days had been the most frustrating days of his life. Hell, he’d tried everything he knew to get Pippa to talk to him. Or just acknowledge him in some way. Getting thrown out of the apartment building where the Copelands lived had certainly capped off an already crappy day and earned him a warning from Devon.

                 Yet Pippa’s continued resistance just strengthened his resolve. He wasn’t going to give up no matter how long it took.

                 Which is how he found himself standing in the reception area of an exclusive salon. A very girlie salon filled with women of all shapes, sizes and ages waiting to be pampered.

                 Somewhere in one of those back rooms was his woman, and come hell or high water, today was the day she was going to listen to reason. If he had to lay bare his soul in front of countless strangers, then so be it. But Pippa was going to listen this time.

                 But first he had to get past the dour-faced dragon lady who stood guard over the doorway leading from the reception area.

                 He’d simply be honest. Weren’t all women softies when it came to groveling men and the grand gestures they made for the women they love? If that didn’t work, he’d get on his knees and he damn well knew no woman would turn down that kind of an opportunity.

                 He started toward Dragon Lady only to see her cross her arms and scowl directly at him. He sighed. This was so going to suck.

                * * *

                Pippa was covered in some sort of muddy goo—or at least her face and belly were—but she couldn’t find it in herself to complain. Besides, it felt good. She was relaxed.

                 Somewhere down there someone was massaging her feet. She closed her eyes in bliss just as someone else put nice, cool cucumber circles over her eyes.

                 She almost laughed at how ridiculous she must look, but then it occurred to her that she was in heaven, and really, did it matter if she looked like a cream puff in a bikini with cucumber eyes?

                 The hands left her insteps and she grumbled her protest but then a new set of hands—firmer, larger, not nearly as smooth as the others—closed around her heel and began massaging.

                 Warmth spread up her legs and her lips parted as a sigh escaped where moments before she’d protested.

                 She liked these hands better. They weren’t as practiced or smooth. But they hit all the right spots.

                 The hands moved up her leg, tenderly applying just enough pressure. Rubbing, kneading, leaving no spot untouched as they ventured higher.

                 It occurred to her to be alarmed at the familiarity of this person’s touch, but it felt too wonderful to end just yet.

                 The hands left for the briefest of moments and then a warm cloth wiped gently at her belly, cleaning away the fluffy mixture of God only knew what.

                 Then those wonderful hands palmed the bulge of her belly and she sighed again. But when lips pressed to her firm abdomen, she reared up, cucumber slices flying from her eyes.

                 To her complete surprise it was Cam who stood there, his hands molded to her belly. And it was his lips that had pressed to her skin.

                 She tried to scramble up, but it was difficult and Cam put a hand to her shoulder, gently pressing her back down to a lying position.

                 “Why are you here?” she squeaked. “And what are you doing? Where’s my attendant? How long have you been here?”

                 Cam spread his hands out, palms up. “I’m it. I’m yours. Completely and utterly at your service to fulfill your every whim and desire.”

                 Her eyes rounded and her mouth flapped open and shut like she was a senseless twit.

                 He looked…broken. Hopeful and yet hopeless all at the same time. He looked tired. Worn. Worried. But more than anything he looked determined. There was a glint in his eyes that told her he wasn’t backing down this time.

                 “I’m not having a conversation with you with all this crap on my face and wearing nothing more than a bikini,” she muttered.

                 He bent down, captured her face in his hands and proceeded to kiss her breathless. When he finally released her, there was as much fluffy goo on his face as there was on hers. He looked…ridiculous.

                 She couldn’t help but smile. Then she laughed.

                 “I don’t care what you look like,” he said hoarsely. “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known in my life.”

                 She sighed, ignoring the flutter in her chest. “What are you doing here, Cam? I mean, really. What is it you want? We’ve said all that needs to be said. There’s nothing left to do but get upset all over again.”

                 His eyes became fierce blue orbs that burned a trail over her face. “No. Not even close. I have plenty to say and I want you to listen, Pippa. Really listen to me.”

                 She blinked at his vehemence. Well, she wasn’t having this conversation lying down. The very last thing she wanted was to feel at a disadvantage.

                 She struggled for a moment and finally reached her hand out to Cam. “Help me, please. If we’re going to talk, I don’t want to do it with us both looking like cream puffs.”

                 He clasped her hand and helped her forward until she swung her legs over the side of the reclining chair. She slid off and went to the sink to wash the remainder of the cream from her face. Then she dampened a cloth and returned to dab at Cam’s face.

                 He stood, completely still, while she wiped at his cheek. His eyes never left her, though. When the last bit of goo was gone, she took a step back, suddenly feeling the need to cover herself so she didn’t feel quite so vulnerable.

                 She grabbed a robe off one of the hooks and wrapped it around herself, tying the ends tightly over her swollen belly.

                 And still Cam was staring at her, unshakable. She was sure there was a message in his unshakable gaze, but it wasn’t one she could discern.

                 Then it was as if he couldn’t stand it a moment longer. He crossed the distance, dragged her into his arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

                 He wrapped his arms tightly around her body, holding her so close to him that she couldn’t breathe. He shuddered against her. His lips moved over hers, devouring, hungry, desperate.

                 When he finally pulled away, she was shocked by the emotion so prevalent in his gaze. He had the look of a tortured man, someone who’d lost everything.

                 “I can’t live without you, Pippa,” he said in a low voice. “Don’t make me live without you and our son. I love you both so damn much. It’s eating me alive. I wake up thinking about you. I worry for you all day. I go to bed at night aching to hold you. Being without you is gnawing away at my soul. You are everything to me. Everything.”

                 She swallowed, her nostrils flaring as she tried to control her own emotions. She wanted to lash out but knew it solved nothing. But his words—words he couldn’t take back—still hurt. They cut deeply, a wound that was still open and raw.

                 “It’s awfully cliché to realize you can’t live without me and that you’ve seen the light after something life-threatening happens,” she said in a low voice.

                 “You’re wrong,” he said fiercely. “I already knew it. I fought it. But I knew. I already loved you. I never said I didn’t love you, Pippa. Never. What I said was that I didn’t want to love you. I didn’t just figure this out because of some damn fire. Did that scare me? Hell, yes. I haven’t been able to sleep at night for imagining you in that apartment and the unbelievable fear you must have experienced. I was coming for you that night. Ask me how I knew you were in the hospital, Pippa. Ask me, damn it!”

                 Her fingers trembled as she stared back at him. “H-how?”

                 “Because I drove like a bat out of hell to get to you after you left. I knew I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life letting you walk away. I was gutted. But I knew if I could just get to you that I could make everything all right. And then when I got to your street, all I saw were those lights and the flames and smoke and I wanted to die because I thought it had happened all over again but this time I could have prevented it. Just by telling you what was in my heart. Just by not being so damn afraid.”

                 Her eyes widened and her mouth popped open in shock at the vehemence in his voice.

                 “Hell yes I was terrified that I’d lost you. But that’s not why I’m here. It’s not why I’m putting myself at your feet and hoping to hell you’ll give me another chance. I love you, Pippa. I’ve loved you for so damn long and I didn’t want to. I fought it. But some things just are and one of those things is my love for you and our son.”

                 She opened her mouth to respond, but he came in close again and put a gentle finger to her lips.

                 “Don’t talk. Just listen to me. Please. I have so much to say. So much to make up for.”

                 Mutely she nodded.

                 He framed her face in his hands and stared down at her with such torment in his eyes that it made her chest ache.

                 “I’m tired of fighting myself. I want a life with you and our son. I’m tired of always expecting the worst, of trying to forget the pain of losing someone and protecting myself from the worst sort of agony. If I only have a year with you, I’d take it and treasure it for the rest of my life and I’d die a happy man having that time with you even if it meant living the rest of my life alone.”

                 The words, so heartfelt, so bleak and raw and powerful, shook her to the core. There was no mistaking the sincerity. The truth was there in his eyes to see.

                 His thumbs caressed a line over her cheeks. His hands were gentle on her face, and he stared down at her with so much love that her throat knotted and tears burned her eyelids.

                 “I’ve been such a bastard to you, Pippa,” he said hoarsely. “I’ve done everything possible to alienate you. I don’t deserve another chance with you or my son, but I’m begging. I’ll get down on my knees. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you that I’m not that man. I’m better than that. I want to be better than that. I’ll spend the rest of whatever time I have with you proving to you that you can count on me.”

                 Her heart surged with love. So much her chest ached. “Oh, Cam, what you can do for me is stop expecting the absolute worst. I’ll never leave you if I can possibly help it. Me and our child will love you and stay with you.”

                 She reached up to stroke her hand over his jaw. “I’m so sorry for what happened before. But you’ve been given another chance. What you do with that gift is up to you.”

                 He caught her hand, turned his face into it and kissed her palm. “You are a gift, Pippa. I never imagined having someone like you. And now our son.” He choked off, caught his breath and for several long moments just breathed into her hand. “I love you. Please forgive me.”

                 Her heart nearly bursting, she pressed into his arms and wrapped herself tightly around him, squeezing hard until he had no choice but to feel her love from every angle.

                 “I do forgive you,” she whispered. “I love you, Cam. I love you so much.”

                 He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head as they simply held each other.

                 Then from behind came the sound of applause. They both whirled around, Pippa tucked protectively into Cam’s side, to see Gloria, Ashley and several other women standing in the doorway of the room.

                 There were smiles and tears on the other women’s faces.

                 “Well done, my boy,” Gloria said, giving him a thumbs-up.

                 Cam smiled back and squeezed Pippa a little closer to him. He was shaking against her. She glanced up, shocked to see just how close he seemed to breaking down.

                 She reached for his hand, twining her fingers with his and then pulled him toward the door that led out to the little tranquility garden. She waved to the others to let them know she was all right and then tugged Cam the rest of the way from the room.

                 The only sound in the lush open garden was water cascading over a fountain. The air was heavily scented with blooming flowers, their splash of color dominating the small area.

                 It was as if a hole had been cut out of the center of the building, leaving an isolated slice of peace for whoever ventured out.

                 “Sit,” she ordered Cam.

                 He sagged onto the bench by the fountain but he wouldn’t relinquish her hand. He tugged her toward him as if afraid she’d leave.

                 “I love you,” he said raggedly. “Say it again, Pippa. Tell me you love me and that you forgive me for being such a bastard to you. I need to hear you say it.”

                 She smiled, then leaned forward between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on the bulge of her abdomen. She ran her fingers through his mussed hair.

                 “I love you, Cam. And I forgive you. I do.”

                 He let out a groan and his hold tightened on her. Then he raised his head so their gazes met.

                 “Come home with me, Pippa. Stay with me. I don’t want to spend another hour without you. Marry me. Love me. Spend your life with me. I swear I’ll make you happy.”

                 Her chest caved in a little more and she smiled until her cheeks ached. “Oh, yes. I don’t want to spend another hour away from you, either.”

                 “And you’ll marry me? I know it wasn’t the best proposal. I’ll get it right, I promise. I’ll get the ring and get on my knees. Whatever it is that makes you happy.”

                 She touched the lines of his forehead, easing them with her fingertips. “What makes me happy is you loving me.”

                 “Then you’re going to be one happy lady,” he vowed. “Because I’m going to love you with every breath I breathe, every minute of every day for the rest of our lives.”