Underestimated Too(3)

I wondered what Celeste and Alicia thought the next day when I declined a shopping excursion and lunch. Did they know? I had a pretty good hunch they did. I hung out upstairs with Nicholas most of the morning. Drew was quiet and worked in his office most of the morning. It wasn’t unusual for him to do that after an incident. He buried himself in his work, trying to hide behind distraction.

After laying Nicholas down for a nap, I went to Drew. I hated this. I hated the tension and the wall he placed between us. Opening the door, I walked around his desk without so much of a glance. I took the papers, saturated in graphs from his hands, and moved in front of him.

Drew wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head in my lap. “Let’s go to the beach house next week,” he suggested without looking up.

“Okay.”

Drew stood, crushing my mouth with his. I know it’s really messed up, but making love to Drew after one of his episodes brought us closer. The emotions, the feelings, and sensations shared between us were surreal. I don’t know how else to explain that. We became one.

Drew unbuttoned my shirt, kissed my bare shoulder, and slid the strap of my bra down my arm, exposing my breasts. He cupped them both, kissing and sucking his way down my chest, to my nipples and to my stomach.

“Lay back, baby,” he whispered.

Raising my hips, I let him slide me out of my pants. “You’re so fucking perfect, Morgan,” he said in a quiet lecture type voice, studying me with his eyes and caressing me with his hands. Letting my head drop over the desk, he wrapped his hand around my throat and slowly slid it down my trembling body.

“I love you,” he whispered, dropping to his chair. I couldn’t even say it back. I was having a hard enough time trying to remind myself to breathe. Knowing that his over qualified tongue was moments from my throbbing sex, I dropped my knee, opening myself for him.

Drew spread me more and ran his fingers up my wet folds. I shuttered and moaned, wanting more. Feeling myself being spread with his fingers, he held me open and sucked lightly on my throbbing nub. Drew sucked and licked while his finger violated my ass, moving in and out.

Just when I was right there, standing on edge, ready to topple over, he stopped. Ugh. I hated when he did that. I only hated it for a second. I forgot all about it when he stood and slid his rock hard cock into my throbbing pussy, and he began circling my clit with his thumb. I came so hard, I felt like I was falling. My walls constricted over and over around him as my world felt faint. Pumping faster and harder, Drew fell with me, dropping his body to mine.

“Tell me you love me, Morgan.”

“I love you, Drew,” I panted, coming down from a glorious high.

“Tell me I don’t deserve you, but you love me so much, you’re always going to be here.”

“Drew—”

“Say it, Morgan. I need to hear you say it,” Drew begged desperately.

“You don’t deserve me, but I love you so much. I’m never going to leave you, Drew.”

“Promise me.”

“Drew. I promise.”

I remember that day like it was yesterday. There was so much desperation in his voice. Drew rarely showed emotion. He did that day. He showed more emotion than I’d ever seen from him. The despairing hold he had on me, the worry in his eyes, and the frightened tone scared me. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. Was he telling me that things would get worse? Was that why he needed me to promise him?

I could handle Drew, this Drew anyway. The amazing times we had together as a family outweighed the bad by tons. I don’t expect anyone to understand that. Any other normal female would have left a long time ago.

Drew never hit me once during my pregnancy. He never touched me until Nicholas was three months old. Alicia and I put together a little birthday party for Celeste, inviting a hand full of people. I got a little drunk that night and acted like a fool with Alicia. Celeste was laughing. Drew was not. It wasn’t like we were doing it while the other guests were there. It was only us four. Alicia changed the station to some hip-hop with a deep base beat.

We grinded into each other to deep thump, thump, thump. Alicia could move. I was impressed and laughed at her popping her hips. Thrusting the air while she tromped her feet, she held my hips, teaching me her trendy dance moves.

“Don’t be mad at me,” I whispered to Drew after the song. I could tell he was upset, but not that upset. He removed my arms from around his neck and gave me a look. Whatever. He was standing right there. It wasn’t like I was grinding all over some guy. It was Alicia for Christ sake. Well, hell. I wouldn’t be getting any tonight, and boy did I ever need it.