Underestimated Too(18)
Drew and I ate supper with Nicholas bouncing on his knee. He wouldn’t sit still long enough for us to eat in peace. We surprisingly talked like a normal couple, well, as much as possible anyway. I could see Drew staring at my battered face. Trying to ignore it, I talked like nothing was wrong, like we were the perfect couple.
That’s what I wanted to do, pretend. Drew pulled me close to him when we turned in for the night, kissing me on the head. “You okay?” he whispered to my hair.
“Yes, Drew. I’m fine, but I don’t know if I will be fine next Thursday. My eye is still swollen shut. I’m afraid the bruise won’t be gone by then.”
Drew sat up and looked at me like I was crazy. “Do you really think we’re going back there?”
“Um, yes. Absolutely.”
“Have you lost your mind? Why would you want to chance it?”
“Chance what? You hitting me again? We’re going to counseling because you hit me, remember?”
“But this time was way worse than that little love tap. I can’t chance that happening again.”
“And I can’t chance it happening again without Deidra.”
“Morgan, let’s stop this. I don’t need nor do I want to talk about my past.”
“Okay, so we’ll just keep going like we are. I’ll wait until you have a bad day at work and decide that you need to come home and beat the hell out of me for your made up, ridiculous reasons.”
“What does that mean?”
“Alicia. Remember? That’s why you were so mad. You’re afraid I am going to cheat on you with Alicia. Isn’t that what that was all about?”
“You know it wasn’t about that.”
“Yes, I do. It was about old wounds being brought to the surface. You were hurt and angry about your life. I was the one here to help you deal with that. I’ll always be here to help you deal with it as long as you are dealing with it. I’m not going to be your punching bag for no reason. If I have to endure your temper, you have to keep seeing Deidra.”
“I don’t want you to be my punching bag. Stop saying that. You know that’s not what I want.”
“Then keep seeing Deidra.”
“Let’s go to someone else. I don’t like her.”
“No, Drew. She’s the only one who has been able to get you to say anything. I do like her, and we’re not finding another therapist. I’ll cancel next week, but the next week, we’re going back.”
Avoiding Deidra was easy. She didn’t care whether we made our appointment or not, we were paying her, regardless. Alicia was the one that was hard to evade. She knew something was up, and I couldn’t tell her. Nicholas was teething, I was sick, I had to meet with realtors and auctioneers. I gave her every excuse under the sun, willing my bruised eye to heal. It was almost there, and you could barely see it with makeup by the middle of the next week. I should have given it one more day, but didn’t want to prolong our meeting with Deidra any more than I had to, afraid of Drew not going.
***
“I don’t want to leave him with Alicia,” Drew complained, chasing Nicholas away from the stairs. I couldn’t wait for him to start crawling, now I just wanted him to be still. He was fascinated with climbing the stairs. His toys were no longer enticing. He wanted everything else that he wasn’t allowed to have.
“Drew, Alicia has kept him a lot. I trust her with him more than anyone else. Who else is going to watch him?”
“We should just cancel until we find a new nanny.”
“I don’t want a nanny. I already told you that.”
“We’re hiring someone to help out around here.”
“Okay, whatever. He’s headed for the stairs again,” I said, giving in and going to the door to let Alicia in. I quickly turned away from her when she looked right at my eye. She knew.
“Oh, my god. He is crawling!” she exclaimed, seeing Nicholas trying to get away from his dad and to the steps.
“I told you,” I smiled, watching him squirm through Drew’s legs. “Drew come on, we’ve got to go.”
“He’s all over the place. You really have to watch him now. He’s determined to climb up the stairs and—”
“Drew, I’m pretty sure I know how to take care of baby. Go, get out of here,” Alicia persuaded, taking Nicholas from him.
“I don’t know about this, Morgan,” Drew nervously confessed on the ride.
“We’ve talked about this, Drew. You’re going to leave without me, go to your office downtown, and I’ll take a cab home. We’ve got this. It’s going to be fine.”