Unchain My Heart(82)

My throat went dry. “If you hadn’t argued with her, making her need air, she wouldn’t have run from you and fallen. You didn’t directly push her, but—”

“You think it's my fault, that I caused it. Say it.”

“Harrison, you are partly to blame. Until you accept that responsibility, I don’t know if I want to see you again. Every action has consequences. You of all people should know that. It was how you chose to act toward Jade—even while you thought you were protecting her—that caused her loss. Had she been anywhere else . . . with anyone else, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Fuck. I've only ever wanted what’s best for her. I’ve spent most of my life making sure she came to no harm. And now you’re saying I’m the reason she got hurt?”

I placed my hand on his arm. My heart was aching for him, yet I knew nothing I said or did could change him. All I could do was to help him see that his life could be different if he chose it to be.

“Maybe it's time for you to let go of the past? It's held you prisoner for too long . . . dictated how you behave. If you changed your mindset, saw things differently—” I coaxed, keeping my voice supportive.

His shoulders slumped. “After all this time? It's become part of who I am.”

“Don’t let one incident map out your whole life. Yes, it happened to you. Would Amy have wanted you to go through your life without finding happiness?”

He shuddered. “Do you think I haven’t tried? That I don’t ache every time I see a happy couple with kids the age our child would have been?”

“Harrison, only you can make the choice to change.”

“Guess you’re going to leave, then, and never see me again?” His voice was thin, slicing the cold air between us.

“I need to think about this. Give me time?” I said softly.

“How much time?”

I didn’t say. I got dressed, kissed his cheek and left.

I left him naked and alone.

Stripped to the bone.

Only he knew how much time was needed. He was the one who held the answer, not me.





Chapter Fifty-Eight — Ryder


“Did you really mean that? What you said to Harrison and Cobra in the ambulance . . .” Her voice was soft and low. She was still very weak, although some color had seeped back into her cheeks. Jade was slowly recovering, but her skin still felt cold. I held both her hands in mine and stared into her eyes for a long time before I answered.

We were back in the hospital, the place I hated most on earth, second to juvie. She lay back against the pillows, deep purple bruises marring her perfect swanlike neck. A part of her beautiful hair had been shaved off at the back and she had stitches and a giant bandage wrapped around her head. She looked even smaller than the last time she’d been here. My heart ached for her pain.

“Princess, if I lost you today that would’ve been the end of me too. I’d do the Romeo thing and end it all. I only really understand the whole scene now . . . why Romeo would do such a fucked up thing. Because finally I get it. He didn’t want to go on without his princess, just like I can’t without you.” A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “It's simple, really, when you finally understand. And I do.” I shrugged, accepting my fate completely.

“Ryder, that’s so beautiful. You are a wise man, and I love you so much,” she whispered.

I caressed her hands with my thumbs, then made small circles up her arms and back down again. “See, I have a strong belief that things happen for a reason. I'm just glad you happened to me.”

Her eyes were big and soft. “Oh baby, I am too.” She blinked back the tears.

“You were so brave to stand up to Marcus,” I said, amazed at her strength.

She winked at me before she grinned. “And you were so brave to take on a crazy gun-wielding ex-boyfriend to save me. I thought you didn’t care about me anymore—”

I chuckled. Even in the worst of times she could make me laugh, or at the very least, smile. “Oh, Princess, how little you know. There isn’t a minute that passes that I don’t want you.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “In every possible way.”

She swatted my arm playfully, but I could tell she was enjoying how I told her how much she meant to me. I made a mental note to remember to do this for the rest of my life. It was such a simple thing, yet it could get lost so easily when life got too busy.

“You want me even though I’m all bandaged up?” she asked, her voice raspy.

“I can think of a few ways to put those bandages to work when they are no longer needed around your head.”

“Ryder . . . such a horny boy,” she teased. She licked her lips. “It will be so much fun.” Her face turned serious. “Right now I just want you to hold me, though. It's been such a tough few weeks. Not that I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I just need to feel your warmth . . . and your love.”