Ugly(63)

“I really can’t.” Even as I speak the words, I know they aren’t convincing. Because I’m jumping out of my skin that she’s here. I want nothing more than to run around the counter, throw my arms around her and squeeze her.

“This is going to happen, Lily. I’m not taking no for an answer.” She puts her hand on her hip, snaps the fingers of her other hand and shows me her usual ‘Shayne sass’.

I smile at her, and suddenly the darkness has lifted from inside me. The everyday gloom that blankets me and doesn’t let go, vanishes as if it was never there to begin with. “I’ve missed you,” I shamelessly announce.

“Me too, Lily.” She goes quiet and scrunches her mouth in a way which tells me she’s thinking. “So, I’m not taking no for an answer. I’m taking you for lunch. What time is your break?” she persistently asks again.

“In a few minutes.” I look up at the clock and add, “Actually, in ten minutes.”

“Great!” she loudly shouts, then claps a hand to her smiling mouth. “Oops,” she cheerfully adds as she looks around her.

“You’ve not changed, not one little bit.”

“Why would I change?” She shrugs her shoulders. “Anyway, I’ll put these groceries in my car and I’ll wait for you outside. It’s cold though, so don’t leave me waiting too long.” She pays for her groceries and takes her bags.

I finish up with the next three customers, close off my register and go grab my coat. I take my phone out of my bag and see the dozen messages from Trent. His usual questions of ‘what time will you be home?’ and ‘I want chicken for dinner’ and even ‘don’t forget you have my assignment to do’. But the last one is something he does frequently. And this one I’m eternally grateful for, because it means I get a chance to breathe and not be on edge worrying about what he might say or do. It says ‘working late, don’t make me dinner, eating out with the boys.’ I answer all the messages he’s sent me and avoid telling him about Shayne, because I know he won’t be happy.

Putting my coat on, I slip my phone in my pocket and head outside. It’s so cold out. I think we’re in for a snowy winter. Shayne is waiting outside, shifting from foot to foot to try and keep warm. “I’m so cold,” she says as she throws her arms around me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Girl, what the hell’s happened? There’s nothing to you. You’re even skinnier then you were all those years ago.” She grabs onto my shoulders and steps back as her eyes travel the length of my body.

Suddenly I feel on display and completely self-conscious. “Skinny? I’m not skinny. I’m fat.”

She scrunches her nose at me and bares her teeth in a ‘what the hell’ look. “Do you own a mirror? Seriously, girl. I’m fattening you up. Come on,” she says as she links our arms and walks down past the grocery store. “Is that café down the road good?”

“I’ve heard good things about it.”

Shayne falters in her steps and turns to look at me. “What do you mean you’ve ‘heard good things’? It’s literally less than a hundred and fifty yards from where you work. How can you never have been in there?”

Embarrassment and shame overtake me. How can I tell her I never have any spare money? Trent controls all the finances and gives me what I need to get to and from work. I have to take my own food to work. And if I forget, I need to go without. But I can’t tell Shayne that, she won’t understand. Trent is just looking out for our finances. He tells me he’s doing it so we can save enough money to buy a home. “Um, I’ve just never…you know.” I shrug my shoulders.

We reach the door of the café and Shayne opens it, steps through and goes to sit at one of the unoccupied booths. “Lily,” she starts saying as she takes her gloves off and unwraps her scarf. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing,” I say immediately defensive. “Why?” I respond a little calmer.

“How long have you worked next door?”

“A while. About six years.”

“And you’ve never eaten here? How’s that possible?”

“I just haven’t been interested in it.” I look down to avoid her eyes, because she’s always been so perceptive of me and what I’m feeling.

The quiet between us breaks the minute a young waitress comes to our table and offers us the menus.

“Everything looks so good,” Shayne says dropping the subject of why I haven’t been in here. “What are you getting? I’m really hungry I think I’ll get a burger, fries and maybe a chocolate shake.”