Ugly(61)

The hours pass and I’m immersed in Trent’s assignment. The words jumble and begin to become unfocused, and although I’m not near half-done, I still need to sleep. In four and half hours I’ve got to be up for work. Tomorrow is the day before Thanksgiving and I know the floor will be absolutely chaotic.

As my eyes keep drooping closed, I get up and shuffle into the bathroom to have a quick shower. Then I get dressed in my warm pajamas and curl into bed.

Sleep is my friend and luckily it takes me off to a place of beauty and serenity.

“Do you want a sandwich, Little Lily?” Mommy asks, as we sit on the green picnic blanket.

“Not yet, Mommy. I want to wait for Daddy and Wade to come back.” I sit on Mommy’s lap and she plays with my hair.

“Look at your hair. It’s so long, I think we need to cut it.”

“NO!” I shout at Mommy and shake my head. “I don’t want my hair cut. Please, Mommy. No.”

“Wiwi, Wiwi,” Wade calls as he runs toward me with his arms out, ready to hug me.

“Slow down. You’ll fall and hurt yourself,” Daddy scolds Wade.

There is a heaviness on top of me and I open my eyes to see Trent, naked and pulling my pajama pants down. His breath reeks of cheap beer and it makes my stomach roil with nausea.

“Trent,” I say as he pushes into me.

“Shut up.” He does what he usually does, then gets off me. He lays on his back and instantly he says, “Go clean yourself up. You smell like a common street walker.”

I silently stand and go to the bathroom, and clean myself. When I finish, I go back to bed and lay down. Trent is already snoring heavily beside me. Visions of that dream keep swirling around in my head. Whenever I’ve dreamt of that little boy, he’s never had a name before. He’s always had the same face. The same blond, floppy hair and the same sweet voice. But he’s never had a name.

If I close my eyes, maybe I’ll find out more about that little boy. Of maybe I’ll find the happiness he’s feeling. Maybe tonight is the night I’ll close my eyes and never have to open them again.





“Lily,” Ocean, the cashier on register eight calls me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as I walk over to her.

“I’m not feeling well.” She has dark circles under her eyes, and although she’s looking pale, I can see sweat beading on her forehead. She’s shivering, most likely from an onset of a fever. “I think I need to go home.”

I look down her conveyor belt and it’s full with three people waiting. “As soon as this customer is done, close your register and I’ll take over. Do you want me to call your mom or dad to come get you?”

“Yes, please. Here.” She hands me a phone from her pocket and I raise my eyebrows to her. “I usually leave it in my bag, but I was feeling off when I got here. Sorry, Lily, I won’t do it again.”

The policy is no cell phones while the staff are working. I’ve had to confiscate a few, but generally the staff follow the rule.

“What’s the number? And what’s your mom’s name?”

“It’s under favorites and ‘mom’, and her name is Melanie,” she says, scanning the customer’s groceries.

I press ‘mom’ and listen as it connects then start ringing. “Hi, sweetie, you feeling better?” her mother answers.

“Hi Melanie, this is Lily Hackly, Ocean’s supervisor at work.”

“Oh my God!” she shrills loudly into the phone. “Is she okay? Oh my God.” I get a tingle up my spine. Her protective maternal nature is beautiful, and something I’ve never known or experienced.

“Ocean’s not well. She looks like she’s burning up and she’s too sick to be here. Could you come and pick her up, please?”

“I’m on my way. Is she okay? Is she hurting? Does she need me to bring her anything?” She’s flustered and in a panic.

“Melanie, she’s okay. She’s just finishing with her current customer, and I’ll send her to the staffroom to wait for you,” I say in a calm and soothing voice. “Text Ocean when you arrive and I’ll walk her out.”

She breathes a relieved sigh, and I hear her take a deep breath. “Thank you so much for calling me, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

She hangs up at the same time Ocean finishes with her customer. She quickly closes off her register and I call over the store’s PA system for the supervisor of non-perishables to come to the register.

Carl comes over as I’m scanning and I get him to sign in and take over while I go with Ocean to wait in the staffroom for her mom.