Thoughtful(82)

When it was clear she was deeply asleep, I shifted her off my lap and stood up. She was still sleeping, but she had a frown on her face, like she missed me. I wondered if she’d dream about me. The thought made me incredibly happy. I wanted to invade her subconscious, just like she’d invaded mine. Leaning down, I scooped her up. She sighed in contentment and nuzzled her face against my chest. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. We could be so great together, if she’d just let me in. And maybe now she would begin to. Really, that was all I could ask of her.

I tucked her into her bed, then stared at her for the longest time. If she woke up and found me watching her like this, she’d probably think I was mentally disturbed. I wasn’t. Just in love. It felt good to admit that. If only I could admit it to her, then maybe she’d have an easier time believing that I wasn’t using her, or only interested in sex. It went so much deeper than that. But I couldn’t say those things. The words just wouldn’t come.

I left her sleeping in her room and headed out to go meet up with the guys. We had a gig tonight at Razors, and I was actually looking forward to it. I felt hopeful, for the first time in a while, and it lightened my heart, and my mood. I was joking around with Matt when Evan asked me about it. “You seem different. Not as melancholy as you were a while ago,” he said. “Something happen?”

Shrugging, I nodded over at Griffin. He’d just taken a drum off the van, and he was looking around like he had no idea what to do with it now. “Yeah. Clueless over there is actually lending a hand for once. That’s a modern-day miracle. Who knows what could happen next? World peace. The end of hunger. The Huskies and the Cougars getting along. Anything is possible. Except maybe that last one.”

I laughed as I pulled a guitar out of the van. Evan narrowed his eyes but didn’t ask me anything else. I kind of felt bad for avoiding his question, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. I was in love with Kiera. She saw me. She understood me. Well, she understood the parts of me I let her see. She meant everything to me, and wrong as it was, I couldn’t wait to see her again.

The next morning, Kiera came downstairs while the coffee was brewing. She hadn’t done that in a while. She’d been avoiding being alone with me, and as far as I knew, she hadn’t had coffee since the espresso stand; I still couldn’t think of coffee without thinking of her moaning beneath me. It was a damn shame that was over with.

I turned to greet her when I heard her enter the room. Her hair was messy and disheveled from sleeping, and she was still wearing her pajamas—lounge pants and a tank top. As usual, she wasn’t wearing a bra with it, and her firm breasts were clearly outlined beneath the tight fabric; her nipples were rigid peaks in the early morning chill. She was breathtaking. And completely oblivious to that fact, which made her even more enchanting.

“Mornin’. Coffee?” I asked, pointing to the pot.

She gave me a dazzling smile that made my heart skip a beat, then she slipped her arms around my waist, making my heart beat harder. Her touch surprised me so much, I stiffened before I relaxed into her embrace. God, it felt amazing to have her arms around me again. I never wanted to let her go.

Her gorgeous eyes were a tranquil green this morning when she looked up at me. “Good morning. Yes, please.” She indicated the coffeepot with her head.

Peace washed through me as I gazed down at her. Yes, this was what I really wanted. “You aren’t going to fight me on this?” I asked, pulling her closer.

She gave me a smile that matched the calmness I was feeling. “No…I missed this.”

I leaned in to place a soft kiss on her neck, but she gently pushed me back. “We do need ground rules though…”

I laughed, wondering what rules she’d come up with. Besides no sex. That one was a given. “Okay…fire away.”

She pointed out the one I was thinking about first. “Well, besides the obvious one, that you and I aren’t ever…” She blushed, unable to complete her thought. So cute.

Unable to resist, I teasingly drawled out, “Having…hot…sweaty…sex? Are you sure you don’t want to rethink that? We’re pretty amazing—”

She thumped me on the chest in answer. With a bewitching glare she told me, “Besides that obvious one, no more kissing…ever.”

My smile dropped. Well, that sucked. I liked kissing her, liked tasting her skin. Even if it wasn’t on the lips, it was incredibly enjoyable for me. And as long as it wasn’t on the mouth, I really didn’t see the problem with it. Maybe I could get her to see it my way. “What if I just stay away from your lips? Friends kiss.”