Thoughtful(184)

Jenny pulled her into the kitchen while I sang the last few words. “I promise you…my love for you will never die.” You’re all I will ever want. When she disappeared from my sight, the moment suddenly felt real. Horrifyingly real. My voice cracked on the final phrase, and I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could finish it.

When the song was over, Kiera was gone, the crowd was silent, and my heart was so raw my chest hurt. The fans had no idea what to do with the emotional display they’d just witnessed. I wasn’t sure if they had noticed Kiera’s and my connection, but they’d certainly noticed my tears. The girls in the front were whispering to each other and pointing at me. That wasn’t a reaction I was used to.

Throwing on a smile—because I still had a job to do—I raised my hand in the air and said, “Thanks for coming out to listen to us! Have a great night!” Continue on as usual. Nothing to see here.

The crowd finally burst into cheers and whistles, and I discreetly wiped my eyes as I slung my guitar over my shoulder. I met Evan’s gaze and his face was sympathetic. I had to swallow again. You were right…that was stupid. I was sure Denny had just seen all of that between Kiera and me. I hadn’t had the courage to look at him yet, but I could feel his eyes on me. It was just a matter of time.

Jenny was leading Kiera over to the bar when I looked back out at the crowd. She handed Kiera something in a glass that I was sure wasn’t water. Kiera downed it as she collapsed onto a stool. Her eyes met with mine, and even with the distance between us, I saw the longing there. She wanted to run to me, but that was impossible; there might as well have been continents between us.

Or at least one continent was between us. Denny approached me when I stepped off the last stair to the stage. “Interesting song,” he said, his dark eyes cold. “Write it about anyone in particular?”

My eyes accidentally drifted to Kiera at the bar, but I immediately pulled them back to Denny’s face. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed. Making my lips turn up into a casual smile, I shook my head and clapped Denny on the shoulder. Nope. No one. It’s just a song…a random, meaningless song. Denny’s expression was blank as he watched me put my guitar away. I knew he wanted more of an answer from me, and I should have shared my thoughts with him, but I didn’t trust my voice at the moment. It might break again, and that would completely destroy any lie I gave him.

I hurried out of there, but not without one final look at Kiera. Her eyes were still watery. I wished I could go talk to her, give her the necklace I’d bought for her. But I didn’t have it with me, and besides, I definitely couldn’t do that with Denny watching. I’d done too much already. It was well past time to go.

Pinching my nose to stave off the headache forming, I practically ran from the bar. Once I was in the safety of my car, I laid my head on the steering wheel and let the pain out. Fat tears rolled down my cheeks, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. It’s over…

When I was drained, physically and emotionally, I started my car and headed home. Should I leave now? Was a song a good enough goodbye? I walked through my front door, looked around at the emptiness before me, and clearly saw my future in the stillness. Walls that echoed with silence were all I had in store for me. I couldn’t face that loneliness yet, so I trudged upstairs to my room. One more day. God…please…just give me one more day.

I didn’t bother turning on any lights as I walked through the house; I wanted to be bathed in darkness, it matched my mood. Entering my room, I closed the door, turned on some music, then lay down on my bed and stared at my ceiling. I ran through everything that had happened since Denny and Kiera had moved in, mentally catalogued every mistake I’d made. There were so many. I tried numbering them, but around seventy-two, I gave up.

Denny and Kiera came home later, after Kiera’s shift. I glanced at my door when I heard them walk past. Had they talked yet? Did Denny know? They headed to their room together, so I figured he didn’t. He probably wouldn’t sleep in the same room with her if he knew she’d recently been with me. God…was that only last night? It felt like a lifetime ago.

Someone was in the bathroom for an eternity, but eventually that person stumbled to bed, closing the door behind them. I lay there, willing myself to pass out, but it wasn’t happening. I was wide awake.

With a small sigh, I got up, opened my dresser, and pulled out Kiera’s necklace. When would be a good time to give it to her? I wasn’t sure. Sitting down on the far side of my bed, I examined the piece in the moonlight. It was stunning, just like her. Putting aside thoughts of our final, painful goodbye, I let myself imagine an alternate reality, one where I could give her the necklace on a joyous occasion, and we were together, happy. I blinked in surprise when I heard a voice whisper my name. As I turned, I saw Kiera on the inside of my door. I hadn’t heard her come in. She shouldn’t be in here.