This Man Confessed(30)

“But I love you.”

My grip on my bag tightens until my fingers are numb. I’m seriously losing the plot. I walk past him and quickly make my way downstairs.

“Ava!”

I ignore him and keep going. The anger bubbling inside me has shocked me as much as it’s shocked Jesse. This is past controlling. This is unforgivable. I don’t want a baby.

“Ava, stay. I’ll do anything.” His heavy footsteps are close behind me, but he’s nude, and as much as I know that he has no shame, I know he wouldn’t run out in public completely naked.

When I reach the door, I turn to face him. “You’ll do anything?”

“Yes. You know that.” His terrified face nearly makes me throw my arms around his big shoulders. But if I let this one go, then I’m setting myself up for a lifetime of manipulating. I can’t do that. We need some time apart. This is too intense, and perhaps I should have thought about that before I married him, but it’s too late now. I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.

“Then you’ll give me some space.”

I walk out.





Chapter Seven



Kate’s not at home, so I let myself in and make my way upstairs to my old room. After sitting on the bed for an eternity ignoring Massive Attack’s “Angel,” I finally drag myself up and have a long shower. Under the hot spray, I soap everywhere, running the sponge absentmindedly over my body and pausing when I reach my stomach. I feel devoid of any emotion. There are no natural motherly instincts in me that make me want to caress my tummy. I’ve never given motherhood a second thought. I’m too young, and I have a flourishing career to concentrate on. He had no right to do this. But he had no right to claim me so aggressively, yet he did. He has no right to dictate what I wear, but he does. And he has no right to trample all over my life with his overbearing, unreasonable, and challenging ways…but he does. And I let him. I fight him on many things, but he mostly gets his way. Not on this, though. I have accepted many things where Jesse is concerned, but I absolutely cannot accept this. And I won’t.

I remove myself from the shower and dry myself off before crossing the landing to my room and throwing on a baggy T-shirt and some sweatpants. Then I crawl into the cold sheets of my old bed. It’s hard, it’s lumpy, and it hasn’t got Jesse in it, but I’m on my own, and it’s where I need to be right now.





I wake up to shouting—very loud shouting. Pulling the sheets back, I slip out of bed and pad across my room, opening the door quietly.

“I said it’s over!” Kate screams. “This isn’t going anywhere!”

Oh shit, I shouldn’t be listening to this, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. I can see Kate’s back down the hallway, and I pray the next person who I’m going to see will be Dan. But it’s not. It’s Sam. My already aching heart takes a further nosedive for my troubled best friend.

“Kate, come on.” Sam’s voice is beseeching and a little confused.

“Just go, Sam.” She stomps off across the landing, straight into the kitchen where she’s obviously opening and slamming every cupboard door in sight. Sam follows her in.

“What’s brought all this on?” he asks. “What’s changed?”

“Nothing!” There’s a further collection of bangs before she’s coming back out of the kitchen and marching into the lounge. I catch a glimpse of her pale face, looking no brighter than this morning. I know that expression. That’s her stubborn, I’m-not-being-honest face. I could throttle the stupid cow.

“Obviously something has!” Sam almost laughs, but it’s a nervous laugh. It’s a laugh that clearly indicates worry. Sam really does like Kate. A lot.

“Just go,” she spits out shortly.

“No! Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on!”

I can’t see them, so I creep out quietly, scolding myself for being so nosey, but I need to hear this because I’m just as intrigued as Sam. I suspect I know, which is just spiking my already fraying patience.

“I don’t owe you an explanation.”

He laughs properly this time. “Yes, I think you do!”

I catch a glimpse of Sam trying to hold Kate in place, but the stubborn cow just shrugs him off. “No, I don’t. We were fucking, nothing more. It was fun while it lasted.” Her cold words slice through me, so I can only imagine what they’ve done to Sam.

He doesn’t say anything, but I see the slight shake of his head. “Fun?” he repeats. “Just fun?”

“Yes. Not anymore, though. I’ve had all the fun I’m going to have with you.”