Thin Love(38)

Kona didn’t know if he agreed with her. Maybe he would tomorrow. Maybe he never would, but Keira had a way, small gestures that made her seem so confident, convinced that whatever she said was fact. “So you’re saying everything happens for a reason?”

“Yeah, but I like my way better.”

Dr. Michaels moved out to the nurses’ station, starting scribbling something into a chart and Kona straightened in his seat, ready to move if the man continued to ignore him. But again, Keira deflected his anxiety, mimicked Kona with her elbows on her knees and her body inching closer to his.

He took a breath, started his countdown again when the doctor retreated back into the ICU, but Keira’s wrist in the dip of his elbow made him stop. She didn’t sit back, didn’t make that touch something brief, something only done to pacify him.

He caught the small movement of Keira twisting her silver ring around her pinky. Her fingers were long, thin and the nail beds were smooth and trim. He shifted his eyes up, trapped her stare. There were only inches separating their faces and Kona took that moment to watch the gray flecks in her irises, at the smooth arch of her eyebrows. That face took away his worry, made him forget where he was, why he was there. “So what happens, happens, huh? And… you being here right now?”

Kona was fascinated by the small gleam on her lips. He thought she was going to argue, to tell him this meant nothing, but then Keira’s mouth closed and those big eyes softened. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”

Around them, other families congregated into the waiting room. More sickness, more chaos, but Kona couldn’t make himself focus on anything but the sweet smell of her breath and how warm it felt against his face.

“I’m sorry I stole a kiss.” He wasn’t sorry. In fact, just then, he wanted to try again. That night in her dorm, just the hint of her on his tongue had nearly wrecked him and Kona spent the rest of that night telling himself it wasn’t as unbelievable as it was. He was getting good at lying to himself.

Keira’s grin was sweet, wasn’t mocking, and he liked how close there were, didn’t want her brushing off the flash of energy heating between them. “You told me. Before I even went there, you told me not to expect anything and I jumped you.”

“That was you jumping me?”

“Well, no.” His laugh was the break they needed, pulled them apart so that he could breathe again, so that he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her. “You get what I’m saying.” She still had no idea what she did to him. “I never have to try with girls. You… shit, Keira, you make me work for it.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

“True enough,” he said, bringing his shoulder to hers, just a small bump that brought back the flash. “The chase.”

“Freaking Lancelot.”

She leaned toward him and he thought it was another moment. He thought she was giving in, telling him with the dip of her eyes on his mouth that she didn’t think he was less; that she wanted him to meet her, take her lips again. But she’d kept him calm. She’d taken the frays of his panic and held him together.

What am I doing?

He couldn’t mess that up. She’d stood by him without him asking and he knew, because of who he was, because of the rules he’d given himself, that he couldn’t have Keira Riley. He couldn’t be enough for her.

“Mr. Hale?”

The ICU nurse was all business. Keira and the moment of them staring at each other, slipping toward something real, him running from their potential, all faded away as he walked over to the nurses’ station.

“How is he?”

“Dr. Michaels will be in to talk to you in a moment. Your grandfather is stable.” She didn’t look at him when she spoke, kept her attention on the blinking lights of the phone and Kona stood there, trying to follow Keira’s advice, trying to be calm, cool.

“Can I see him?”

The nurse picked up the phone when it rang again and silenced Kona with her index finger pointed up, wordlessly telling him to give her a minute. He didn’t realize he was growling, didn’t notice that weird, frustrated sound was coming from his throat until the nurse’s sharp eyes snapped to him.

Keira elbowed him, mumbled “Calm down, Cujo,” before Dr. Michaels finally made an appearance.

The man was tall, lanky, but Kona knew he had at least five inches on him and so the scowl that wrinkled the doctor’s green eyes didn’t have the effect the man may have wanted. He pulled his fingers through the graying blonde hair and his face pinched up when he glanced between Kona and Keira. “Your grandfather had a mild heart attack.” The doctor’s voice was impassive with the hint of boredom. Kona felt the words move right through him. He had no bedside manner. There wasn’t anything gentle, anything approaching sympathy in his expression. “We’ll need to do surgery to know for sure, but from what I’ve seen so far, he has a blockage.”