Then There Was You(16)

I smiled at him as I ushered him toward the door. “Thank you for sharing with me today, Chris. I really do want to help you. I want you to be able to sort all this out in your head. I believe we’ve made a lot of progress here. Just getting things off your chest helps sometimes. I’m here any time you need me, okay?”

He nodded. “Thanks, Mrs. Honeycutt.”

“Absolutely,” I replied, content with the progress we’d made.

The dimple in his cheek creased as he returned my smile with a coy half grin. “I’ll see you Friday,” he said cheerfully.

We were leaps and bounds ahead of where we started. My heart soared. I love this job.





On Thursday afternoon, Greg, another one of the boys on my hall, came bounding into my office.

“Mrs. H, I’m getting out in ten weeks, to the day!”

I smiled. Greg announced his daily countdown every time he saw me for a counseling session.

“I know,” I declared. “Don’t remind me.”

Greg had been at Fairbanks since before I left for maternity leave. I’d been working with him for about four months. He was a kid I worried about… one whom I had a gut feeling he would land himself right back in juvie within a month or so of being released. I didn’t see a lot of reform coming from him. Deep down, he was a sweet kid, but he had poor decision making skills and a rough home life. His dad ran off when he was a baby, leaving his mom to raise four children on her own. Apparently men had drifted in and out of Greg’s life with each one of his mother’s new boyfriends— none of whom were decent role models. His mother’s last boyfriend had been busted for meth, while the one prior to that had been arrested for domestic assault. His older brothers were constantly in and out of jail, and following in his brothers’ footsteps, Greg hung on to that impulsivity that would keep him from making sound life choices. I’d hoped I would see a change in him before he was released, but I had my doubts. He still had ten weeks, so hopefully I would see some progress before it was over.

“My boy, Blaze, can’t wait for me to get out. He said I can move in with him.”

“You think that’s a good idea?” I certainly don’t.

“Oh yeah, definitely. He said I won’t have to pay rent or nothin’. It’ll work out great. My girl, Destiny, she’s waitin’ for me, too. I just hope the next ten weeks fly by.” Greg was like a bouncing ball of pent-up energy.

“For your sake, I hope they do too,” I told him.

Greg swayed back and forth on his feet. “Well, I can’t stay. I just asked Officer Harris if I could swing by and say hi. He told me I could.”

I smiled. “I’m glad you did. You made my day.”

Greg grinned ear to ear. “You always make mine too. See you later, Mrs. H.”

“See you later, Greg.” Let me reiterate. I love my job.

I never knew when I stepped foot into Fairbanks for the very first time just how much this job would end up meaning to me. I loved it in the months prior to Alexis’s birth, but it seemed as though my job had become my saving grace. Every time I thought of home, of my useless husband, of my mentally and physically exhausting role as a mother, of the depression that rotted the very essence of my soul, I would dive further into these clients and bury that hopelessness and despair. These kids were my lifeline—the heartbeat of my empty spirit.





Session after session, stepping through Mrs. Honeycutt’s door got a little bit easier. My dread lessened and my stubbornness weakened each time I met with her. Much to my dismay, she was slowly but surely getting to me. She would cut into me with those bright, green eyes and I’d bleed my feelings out all over the place like a rare-cooked steak.

Mrs. Honeycutt sat in her usual chair, across from me on the sofa, eyeing me with that same heartfelt compassion that always gripped my fucking heart. Damn. I’m done for.

“Chris,” she leaned toward me in her seat, “I want you to talk to me a little more about Kaitlyn today. Tell me about her. I know you’ve been struggling with this since you’ve been here. Maybe getting a little more off your chest will help.” She smiled expectantly at me like I’d be eager to rip out my own fucking heart and stomp on it.

I groaned, knowing how hard this was going to be. “You already know about Kaitlyn,” I whined.

She nodded. “Yes, I know how you’re hurting over her, but I want to know more than that. I want to know how you met her, how you fell in love with her—good things like that. I want you to leave with a smile on your face today, remembering the good times.” She smiled as though she could use a pick-me-up too. I wondered what was behind that forced smile and those tired eyes.