The Struggle(17)

The gnawing in the pit of my stomach rumbled like hunger pangs.

I needed to be gone from here. Josie wasn’t safe with me.

One foot followed the other and then I was at her back. My heart thundered in my chest as muscles along my back and shoulders tensed. All thought processes were clicking off and common sense dive-bombed off a cliff. My fingers grazed over her soft, silky hair. I lifted a thick strand and curled my fingers around it. My gaze crawled up over the slope of her bare shoulder and the thin strap of one of those tank tops she was always wearing. I laid the strands of her hair down on the pillow as my gaze tracked the deep rise and fall of her chest. Lowering my hand, I snagged the edge of the thin blanket and drew it down, revealing the deep dip of her waist. The tank top she wore had ridden up, showing off a section of skin and the lacy edges of her panties.

Josie squirmed in her sleep, shifting halfway onto her back. I held my breath as those thick lashes fluttered. Any second she could open her eyes, and I’d be lost. I’d be found. And there would be no going back.

Those eyes didn’t open.

Her hand fell to the side, slightly brushing my arm. It was like a jolt of electricity, lighting up every cell.

Wake up.

That order whispered in my thoughts. It was wrong, so very wrong, but if she opened her eyes and saw me, I . . . I couldn’t walk away.

I wanted to wake her up. I wanted to touch her—hold her. I wanted to curl my body around hers. I needed to feel her skin flush against mine. I needed to hear my name on her lips. My gaze flickered to the swell of her breasts, and the hunger raging inside me mixed with stark arousal. I needed everything about her.

Everything.

Fear punched through my gut—fear for her. I dropped the blanket. Struggling against instinct that was primal and raw, I forced myself to take a step back and then another. The back of my throat burned. My knuckles ached from how tightly I was now clenching my fists.

I could not be here.

Closing my eyes, I pictured the house on Andros and I felt the tugging. Within a second, I was back to the house, to the old bedroom.

“Gods,” I growled.

Shaken, I pivoted around and left the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I passed the half in the hall and took the steps two at a time. On the main level, I headed for the study and straight for the liquor.

Fuck.

What I’d just done was leveling up on the whole stalker thing. And it had been so damn dangerous. The hunger for her, for what was inside her, was a monster clawing its way out of me. I couldn’t do it again. There was no way. I hadn’t even made it a full fucking day without searching Josie out.

The cabinet door opened before I reached it. With a trembling hand, I grabbed the first square-based crystal decanter. Popping the lid, I lifted it to my mouth and drank until my entire body burned. I drank until the decanter was empty, then I reached for another. Amber liquid swished, and I drank until there were no thoughts of Josie.

Until there were no thoughts of anything.


~

Josie

Opening my eyes, I found myself staring at the unfamiliar bedroom walls. My heart was pounding and as I inhaled deeply, I caught a woodsy scent. Jerking up, I threw the cover off and swung my bare legs off the bed.

“Seth?” I said his name before I could stop myself.

I turned around, scanning the darkened room. Of course there was no answer. He wasn’t here. My stomach hollowed as I backed up, plopping down on the edge of the bed. Running my hands through my hair, I tugged the strands back as I exhaled roughly. My head thumped and my eyes burned. I didn’t know how long I’d slept, but I knew it couldn’t have been more than a few hours. I hadn’t wanted to fall asleep. There was too much to do, but my body had given out to sorrow-tinged exhaustion the moment we arrived at Gable’s uncle’s house. Or was it his aunt? Grandmother? I had no idea. For all I knew it could’ve been a second home.

Rich people had those kinds of things.

After Alex and I had gone back inside, we’d discovered that the guys had everything packed up. It was obviously no longer safe at Gable’s home. Too weary to argue, I climbed into the back of the SUV and rode several miles down the coast to yet another sprawling mansion.

I’d expected there to be more damage from the Atlas-induced earthquake, but a block away from Gable’s home, the large palm leaves were swaying in the breeze and cars zoomed up and down the roads.

The mortals obviously believed it had been an earthquake and nothing more.

When we got to the house on yet another cliff overlooking the sea, I followed Gable to a guest room, stripped off my jeans, and climbed into the bed. I hadn’t wanted to sleep, but at the same time I did, because then I wouldn’t have to think about my mom or Seth or my father.