The Space Between Us(52)

As if the universe knew exactly how I was feeling and how to ruin it, I  heard the doorbell ring again. My instincts told me it wasn't Asher, not  after the fight we had yesterday. I couldn't imagine he was in a hurry  to talk to me. I pulled on my bathrobe and walked to the front door and  opened it, not really caring that my hair was most likely doing its best  impression of Medusa.

A man stood on my porch holding a very large and beautiful arrangement of roses.

"Charlie McBride?"

"That's me," I said, a little baffled at the beautiful sight.

"These are for you. Have a nice day." He handed the flowers off to me  and I carried them into the kitchen, kicking the door closed.

The roses were all different shades of yellow  –  light yellow like you  might find in a baby's nursery, buttery yellow, darker shades that  remind me of sunlight; they were all beautiful. I spotted a card mixed  in with the flowers and pulled it out.

Dear Charlie,

Despite everything that's happened between us, I cannot forget that at  first, in the very beginning, we were friends. Best friends. Yellow  roses signify friendship and I very much still want to be friends with  you. Please don't push me away.                       
       
           



       

My mom and dad are having a dinner tonight and I would like for you to  come. Reeve and her family will be there. My mom would love to see you,  as would I. Please consider coming. Six pm. You know the place.

~Asher

Perhaps it was the full night's sleep or the fact that, in the end, I  could always use a true friend, but I found myself softening to his  invitation. I could be friends with him, couldn't I? Besides the appeal  of having him back in my life, in any capacity, the idea of seeing his  parents, especially his mother, made my heart clench a little. I could  use a little Mrs. Carmichael love at the moment.

I grabbed my cell phone and called Reeve.

"Hey, how are you?" She answered. I could hear her children in the  background, her house filled with sounds of happy and loud kids.

"Better, thanks." I paused, wondering how to best broach the topic. "So you spoke with Asher?"

"Yeah. A few times. He is worried about you. We all are."

"Are you going to dinner at the Carmichael's tonight?"

"Are you?" She retorted.

"I want to. But I don't think I can go alone."

"Well, you won't have to. Riley, the kids, and I will be there."

I smiled hearing that, glad that I hadn't pushed Reeve so far away that she was completely out of reach.

"What are you going to wear? I didn't bring anything that doesn't scream "I'm in mourning".

"Sounds like you need to go shopping. I'll be there in an hour!" I heard  the line go dead and I knew that in sixty minutes or less Reeve would  be here to help me. I smiled, my mood lightened by how even though  things were so drastically different than they were in college, some  things were still the same. It was remarkably comforting.





Chapter Ten

Charlie

Reeve and I sifted through a few racks at a boutique downtown. Turns out  that Reeve's husband, Riley, was home on vacation and Reeve was looking  for the perfect reason to get out of her house. Who'd have thought that  being home with your husband and children could be stressful? She  showed up to my dad's house with two coffee drinks, a smile, and an  excitement she attributed to being "child-free" and given a valid reason  to shop. I was more than happy to supply her a reason to escape her  house.

"So what's it like living the exciting life in New York City?" Reeve asked with sparkling eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's different. Exciting. Fast. But it's also  normal and boring. I don't know; you get used to it I suppose."

"Do you see many famous people?"

"I spend a lot of time in my studio, drawing. But a few smaller  celebrities have come to my shows before. No one huge though." I found  it funny that she was so enraptured by my life. To me, my life back in  NYC was a bandage. Something I used to cover up my painful past. I  didn't really enjoy being there, but it was better than being here.  Well, it used to be, anyway.

"That's really great that you've been able to do your art in New York.  You are so talented. Once I graduated from college I just took the first  job I was offered." She shrugged her shoulders, like it was something  she'd thought about before but decided it wasn't worth the effort to  worry about it.

"Where do you work?" I asked, casually flipping through some dresses,  trying to hide my shame that I didn't even know what Reeve did for a  living, let alone what she'd ended up getting her degree in. I was a  terrible friend.

"Well, I started working for a PR firm. You know, started at the bottom  and was trying to work my way up when I met Riley. We dated for three  years before we got married and when I had Chey, I decided to be a  stay-at-home mom."

"Chey? That's an interesting name."

"It's short for Cheyanne," she said with a smile, thinking fondly of her  oldest. It was a dreamy look that obviously alluded to the deep and  immeasurable love Reeve had for her. "Cheyanne is three and Ryder, my  son, is just one."

"Well, I'll be really glad to meet them tonight," I said. My thoughts  drifted to the children I would have had by now. My twins would be  almost old enough to babysit Reeve's children. If I had a daughter she  would be here, shopping with us, looking through these racks with an  eagerness only a preteen could muster. Would the twins have been it?  Would there have been more? If Asher and I had stayed together, would  there be more children?

"Hey, Charlie, we don't have to talk about kids," Reeve said with concern lacing her voice.

I exhaled loudly, both glad and sorry that Reeve could read my thoughts.  There was no reason she needed to worry about me and she definitely  shouldn't feel bad for talking about her children.                       
       
           



       

"I'm sorry. Honestly, I try really hard not to think about kids. But being here, in Willow Falls, it sometimes sneaks up on me."

"That's understandable. Being around Asher probably makes you think  about a lot of things you've tried hard to forget." I looked up at her,  meeting her eyes, and tried to remember a time when she had been this  insightful. Reeve was a great friend all through school, and had always  been able to see things that I couldn't or didn't want to. I don't know  why I was so surprised now.

I nodded, not sure what words would be suitable at that moment.

"You don't have to pretend to be ok with me, Charlie. I feel like you've  spent a lot of time in the last decade trying to act like everything  was fine. And if you continue to do that, I'll let you. But you don't  have to with me. I understand." I looked up at her again and she was  wearing a sad smile. Not full of pity or sorrow, but like she wanted so  badly for me to reach out to her. "Don't forget, Charlie, there was a  time in my life where I felt so very alone and if you hadn't been there  for me I don't know if I would have gotten through it. Please don't push  me away anymore."

I took in her words, knowing they were true and heartfelt. I pushed  everyone away and in that process I lost my father long before he died.  If I hadn't been so distant, if I had let other people in on my sadness,  let other people help me, I might have been able to really have a  relationship with him before he passed. That was the truth of the  matter. I wasn't a nineteen-year-old girl anymore. It was time to stop  shutting people out, because soon enough, I would be more alone than I  could imagine.

"My kids would have called you Auntie Reeve," I said as I looked back  down at a dress on the rack. "Sometimes, like now, I wonder if I would  have had a girl if she would have liked shopping. I wonder if she would  have been here with us, right now, looking at dresses and jewelry,  asking me if she could get every cute thing she encountered."

"She probably would be more like you," Reeve replied. "A healthy and  balanced girl who likes art, boys, playing in creeks and her parents."  The smile on Reeve's face was warm and sincere.

"Perhaps," was all I said in response. I felt like there was nothing  left to say. I liked the picture we had painted of my angel baby.

"Oh, Charlie, this dress is perfect. Not too dressy, cute, but totally  sexy." She held up a cotton maxi dress, a coral color with an empire  waist with a turquoise belt. She turned the hanger around and I caught  the ‘sexy' part. The back of the dress from the waist up was a sheer and  delicate lace. I could easily cover it with a jacket if I wanted to,  but it was very feminine and pretty. "Let's try it on," she said and  walked back towards the dressing rooms.