The Space Between Us(30)

"No," I answered, a little defensively.

"Good, neither do I. I was just checking. See, the thing is, there is a  lot of stuff about my life right now that I am unsure about. I have no  idea if I'm going to make a good lawyer. I can't even think about what  I'll be doing next year this time. Where will I be living after college?  What kind of law do I want to practice? Will I stay in the fraternity?  Fuck, I'm not even sure what kind of cereal I will eat for breakfast  next week." He ran his hand through his hair and I noticed that the air  was puffing out of his mouth at a quicker pace. "But there's one thing  that I am one hundred percent sure about and that's you."

I felt him squeeze my hand that he was still holding so gently in his  own. I finally looked down and saw the ring he'd placed upon my finger.  It was dainty, delicate, and perfect. A simple, slim, silver band with  an infinity symbol glittered with small, sparkling diamonds.

"Asher, it's perfect," I managed. "I'm still a little unclear about what it means though."

"Don't get hung up on the meaning. It means everything. It means  nothing. It means that five years ago when I got home from that first  summer at my grandpa's farm, I saw a girl who'd turned into a woman and I  knew she was mine. It means that every time I fell asleep, I closed my  eyes and couldn't wait for it to be morning so I could see her again. It  means that I've spent the last five years learning what it means to be  with someone, not just be her boyfriend. It means that one summer day,  under an old bridge, next to a shallow stream, I told the girl I was  going to marry one day that I loved her. I loved her then. I love her  now. And I'll love her forever until infinity." He bent his head down  and kissed my finger right where the ring lay. "But the ring means  nothing. It's my commitment to you, to us, and your commitment to me  too; that's where the meaning lies. Don't get hung up on the jewelry,  Bit. It's just a representation of what's already happening."

"Ok." That was all I could muster. My heart still pounded in my chest  and I felt weepy little tears collecting in the corner of my eyes, but I  had no words. No words I could weave together to create such magic as  he gave to me. "Asher, I don't know what to say." My eyes were glued to  the ring.

"Just say you'll wear it and that we'll always be together."

"I will always be yours," I said with as much conviction as I have ever  felt. I know the words I said to him in this moment were the truest  words I've ever spoken. If I lived, if I breathed, if I walked this  earth, I was his. And maybe even beyond that.                       
       
           



       

He pulled me up from the swing and instantly I was in his arms. My  hands, like they were finding home again, folded around his neck and my  fingers threaded through his hair. His hands glided along my waist, just  under the plush of my coat, and wrapped all the way around me, pinning  me to him. He felt me shudder against him and pulled away just far  enough to whisper in my ear.

"You cold, Bit?"

I just shook my head. The trembling wasn't from the cold, it was from  the longing I felt running amok throughout my body. I felt it everywhere  and as it swept through my system it stole my breath away with it. He  moved me closer to the propane warmer anyway, and I felt the warmth waft  over me. I pressed my cheek harder against his chest, my hands still  able to reach his neck, if only for the high-heeled boots I was wearing.

His hands came to rest on the curve of my waist and I noticed that we  were slowly swaying back and forth, dancing to no music, but dancing  nonetheless. "Asher?" I looked up towards his eyes.

"Yeah?" He answered softly.

"I feel like the jacket I got you for Christmas is really lame now." He laughed, which is exactly what I was going for.

"I love the jacket. And I also love knowing that I can totally outdo you in the gift department."

"Should I even try to compete?"

"No. Just let me spoil you."

And I did. I enjoyed everything he did for me. He swept my hair out of  my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. He placed small, teasing kisses on  my bare skin where he could. I felt his lips along my neck, on my ear,  then softly on my mouth. His hands gripped me firmly and pulled my feet  from the ground, bringing my face level to his. Taking advantage, I  wrapped my arms fully around his neck and used my hands to feel the  muscle beneath his coat. His strong shoulders flexed with use as he held  me to him. He held me like this for a few minutes, longer than anyone  should be able to hold up another person, but he eventually put me down  and like clockwork I heard the trotting of Utopia coming back to collect  us.

Stan pulled the carriage right up to us and Asher held a hand out to  help me up. I climbed in and took a seat, looking back at the beautiful  setting Asher created for us. I frantically stood up and shouted,  "Wait!" I pulled out my cell phone and tried to capture what I could of  the most romantic night of my life on the tiny screen. I got a few shots  and admitted to myself that it would never look as good in a picture as  it did at that moment and gave up. I moved to put my phone away and he  grabbed it from me and spun us around, holding his arm out, and took a  picture of us. Right before I heard the ‘click' created by the phone  snapping the picture, I felt his lips press against my cheek.  Instinctually, my eyes closed and I turned my head slightly into his  touch. I saw the flash through my eyelids, but couldn't be bothered to  open my eyes.





Chapter Four



Summer came quickly, ending what could only be described as a tumultuous  first year of college. Reeve was almost back to her normal self and  although she wasn't as outgoing as she used to be, she wasn't a recluse  anymore. I felt like I had my best friend again. Reeve and I decided to  head home for summer vacation, but true to tradition, Asher traveled to  his grandfather's farm. We would have a few weeks at the beginning and  end of break together, but he would be gone for the majority of the  summer. His grandfather was getting older and needed a lot more help  than he had in the years past, so Asher had a responsibility to go. I  didn't mind as much as I had before. Summers together just weren't a  part of our relationship. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit the  excitement that fueled our reunion      s wasn't a big reason why I wasn't  totally crushed to see him go. I knew when he got back we would be  crazy with need for each other. Plus one long summer of working hard in  the sun always returned a bronzed and buff Asher. No, I didn't complain.  I just tried to return the favor and make sure I looked just as good  for him. I was ok with him being gone, but goodbyes were never fun.

The day he left I tried to hold back my sad tears because I knew it  didn't help him, but I couldn't stop the few tears that slid down my  cheek. He kissed them away, whispering to me that he would miss me, that  we would call each other every day. We would email, send letters, but I  could hear in his voice he was just as upset as I was.

I looked up at him, his face blurred through the tears I refused to let  go and watched as he leaned in to kiss me goodbye. I hated goodbye  kisses. They were so sad and empty.

"I love you," he said against my lips.

"I love you too." I cried quietly.                       
       
           



       

"I'll miss you." I answered by kissing him again. Eventually he pulled away, kissed my forehead and walked away.

One month later I woke up to Reeve crashing through my bedroom door.

"Wake up!" She yelled as she jumped on my bed. I was startled enough to  sit straight up in my bed and I felt my heavy ponytail whip around to  the front of my face. I heard her laugh as I pushed my hair out of my  face. "Time to get up. We've got stuff to do."

"What the hell could we have to do at," I looked over at my alarm clock, "eight am?"

"We're going to get you pampered, all courtesy of your lovesick  boyfriend." My heart skipped a few beats at the mention of Asher.

"What?" I asked as a smile grew on my face.

"Yes. He is sad he can't be here for your birthday, so he's instructed me to take you out and make you feel wonderful."

I cocked my head to the side and frowned a little. "Aww … ." I said,  feeling that warm gooeyness take over my insides. He was so sweet. "My  birthday is tomorrow though," I said, a little bit confused.

Reeve held up her hands. "Hey, I'm just following instructions." She  stood up and pulled the covers off of me. "Get up. You've got ten  minutes to get downstairs and don't wash your hair."