The Space Between Us(33)

       
           



       

"Oh yes," I sputtered. Spurred on by my outcry, he pushed two fingers  inside of me, softly moving in and out. The combinations of the quick  flicks of his tongue and the slow torture of his fingers pushed me  higher and higher. I felt my core tighten and my body began to tremble.  My hands gripped the edge of the countertop, keeping me upright while my  hips rocked back and forth hoping to find the release my body craved.  "Asher, I need more, something … " I couldn't finish my thought. He moved  his fingers inside me, coming forward and stroking the small area that  hid deep within me that always made me breathless.

"Oh, God!" I screamed as my legs came to wrap around his head. He never  wavered, just kept working me while my orgasm rolled through me,  wreaking havoc on my body. My legs compressed around his head, my hands  gripped his hair, and I lost all sense of self as I used his body to  bring pleasure to mine.

Eventually my body calmed and yet he still kissed and nuzzled my sex.  "I've been waiting for a month to watch you come apart, Bit." He said,  placing one last tender kiss again my core. "That was a fucking awesome  front row seat." He moved up my body, trailing kisses up between my  breasts. He leaned in to place a kiss on my mouth and I turned, offering  him my cheek instead. "What's the matter?" He asked, pulling away to  see my face.

"Nothing," I said as I ran my hands through his hair, trying to distract him.

"You don't want me to kiss you?" He sounded hurt.

"No! I do. You're just all … " I motioned with my hand and waved it in front of his face. "Covered in me."

"You don't want to taste yourself?" He asked, curiously. I tried very hard to keep my face from wrinkling up.

"No, thank you."

"You taste amazing," he said with a smile. I appreciated what he said,  but I didn't necessarily believe him. And I didn't want to find out if  he was telling the truth.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"I get it," he said, shrugging. "But honestly, one day, I would really  like to see you try it. For me." I gave an awkward smile, slightly  uncomfortable with the whole idea.

"You think it would do something for you to watch me taste myself?" I  said as I tried not to let my feelings show through my face. He pushed a  lock of my hair that came loose behind my ear and gave me a lopsided  grin. He shrugged his shoulders. "Why?" I was honestly curious at this  point. Thinking about the roles being reverse, having him taste himself,  did nothing for me, besides gross me out a little.

"I don't know, Babe. It just would. I don't want to think about it if it's not gonna happen."

"Ok," I said.

"Tell you what," he said as he cupped my face. I could see him resisting  the urge to lean forward and kiss me. "Why don't you go fill that tub  up, pour in something girly, and I will brush my teeth and then come  join you." I didn't feel right to walk away from him at that moment.  Something was off between us. After the spectacularly intimate moment we  had just shared, an invisible wall had just as quickly been built  between us. He wanted something that I couldn't give him, or rather,  wouldn't.

I moved forward to wrap my arms around his neck and kissed him behind  his ear. "I'm sorry," I whispered. He groaned and pulled away.

"Don't. Don't apologize. You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm not sorry for not kissing you. I'm sorry for the way we feel right  now. How it feels in this room. I've never said no to you before. I  don't like the way it's making me feel."

"How do you feel?" He stepped away from me fully. The two feet between us felt like twenty to me.

"I feel like I want to make you happy. I want to please you," I said, ending on a whisper.

"You do make me happy. You do please me."

"I want to do things for you," I said, trying to imply meaning.

"Stop dancing around your feelings, Bit. Tell me."

"If there's something you want, sexually, I want to give it to you. I want to be enough for you."

"Babe, you're more than enough for me. I don't need anything else from  you. Forget I said anything. I had never even thought about it until  just now. Kissing you after going down on you is not a deal breaker,  it's just something that crossed my mind as sexy. Don't let it bother  you. Besides, we're both going to have boundaries. You can't give me  something you're not comfortable with because you're afraid of  disappointing me. I don't want it then. I want whatever you're  comfortable giving me."                       
       
           



       

"I don't like this," I said, looking down at my feet.

"What?"

"This!" I motioned between us, at the distance. "I don't like feeling  like there's this thing between us. I've never felt this before. I don't  want anything to come between us." I watched as he stripped his pants  and boxer briefs off, now naked in front of me. He walked towards me and  pulled me into his arms, wrapping himself so fully and so completely  around me, I found it a little difficult to take a full breath.

"There," he said quietly. "Now there's nothing between us except for a  little bit of residual sweat from our earlier exploits," he whispered in  my ear, trying to make me smile. I let myself feel him pressed against  me and I tried to let the tension go. I tried to feel him, remind myself  who we were together, tried to convince myself that this wasn't a big  deal. And really, it wasn't. I was not totally concerned that he didn't  get to kiss me. I was really hung up on the idea of something coming  between us. The idea of anything coming between us, that scared me. "I  love you." I knew he loved me. I could always feel his love.

"I love you too," I responded honestly.

"Can we take a bath now?"

"Yes," I said with a small laugh. And we did. We bathed for hours,  refilling the tub when the water got cold. We ordered room service and  talked, covering all the details emails and phone calls forced us to  leave out. We made love and I tried so hard to be everything he needed.





Chapter Six



"Happy birthday, Bit." I heard the words in my ear and felt his hands  roaming my naked body as I lay in bed next to him. Asher. I was with  Asher on my birthday. This never happened before. We were always  separated and I've had to accept just hearing his voice over the phone  wishing me a happy birthday. I opened my eyes and saw his face laying on  my pillow, facing me, just inches away.

"Hi," I squeaked, still sleepy.

"How does it feel to be nineteen?"

"It feels early," I said as I stretched.

"We've got a lot to do today. So, you take a shower and I'll order breakfast."

"We have to get up?"

"Busy day," he said and swatted my naked butt.

He wasn't kidding either. We ran from one activity to another and he  made sure to include my favorites along the way: I got my coffee, he  took me to an art supply store and let me browse as long as I wanted,  and he even took me to a book store. Towards the end of the day we  walked down the street hand-in-hand when he stopped in front of a door  and motioned for me to go in. I looked up and saw the word TATTOO  painted on the window.

"Tattoos?" I asked, panicked.

"Well, you don't have to get one, but I'm going to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it ever since I turned eighteen."

"I don't get it. This is supposed to be my birthday, why are we getting you a tattoo?"

He kissed me quickly and pulled away smiling. "Because my tattoo is  going to be your name." My eyebrows shot up and I shook my head.

"Asher, no. No, no no, no, no, no. You can't. No." My head shook quickly  back and forth, my hair flailing around behind me and I unconsciously  took a few steps backwards.

"Yes. Listen, I've given this a lot of thought and I want to do it. You  can either come in here and keep me company or you can take a cab back  to the hotel, but I really want you with me." I looked back and forth  between Asher and the door to the tattoo parlor.

"Can you get something else besides my name?"

"No."

"Is there anything I can say to change your mind? This is a little crazy."

"What's crazy about it?"

"It's permanent, Asher."

"So are we."

There was nothing else to say. Even if I didn't think it was a good  idea, I couldn't argue with that. Didn't want to. I was impressed,  however, with how prepared he was. It did seem like he'd spent a lot of  time thinking about the decision. He had a drawing with him that  outlined exactly what he wanted, he knew where he wanted it, and there  was no talking him out of it.